Shell
by hufflepuffbrunette247
Summary: Clara Finley was 25 years old when she was attacked by a vampire. She was also 8 months pregnant. What will happen to her and her baby as she learns to cope with her new life? OCs. The M rating is mostly a safety precaution for some lemons. UPDATE: Edited back to the original ending, hence the deletion of chapters 52 onward.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi readers! So this is my new story, Shell. I'm guessing that you got enough plot summary in the description so I will let you read. But first a short disclaimer.**

**I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. I do not even own Clara which is sad seeing as she is the main character, she is my cousin's and I am borrowing her (thanks btw).**

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Chapter 1

March 30, 1948

Robert really did look handsome in his uniform. It was a pity he'd have to go to war in it. I wondered again and again how I was going to manage once he was gone. I knew I was going to stay with my sister and her family in Burlington, but I'd miss him so much, especially with the baby. Once I finished pressing the uniform and hung it up, I sat down, my swollen ankles relieved, and started back up on the blanket I was crocheting for the baby. It was a gorgeous yellow color, us not knowing if it was going to be a boy or a girl. As I was reaching the limit on my patience with the task, I saw that the clock had struck five and Robert would be home in an hour and a half. Robert was so concerned about the baby and my own welfare while he was away, he worked an extra hour so he could put away some money for us, just in case. I went ahead and started on dinner. I looked through the vegetables we had preserved over the summer. Our garden had done well last year, but seeing as it was March, we were running low on just about everything. I finally decided on pot roast and mashed potatoes, one of Robert's favorites. The meat was sitting in the oven, just waiting to be eaten when I heard the door open.

"I'm home! Where's my sweetheart?" Robert called. His cheerful voice echoed through the house. How I was going to miss that. He came running into the kitchen like a little boy and threw his arms around me. "Mmmm...I love you," he mumbled into my ear.

"Awww...did somebody have a bad day at work?" I teased. He was only so eager to make sure I knew he adored me when he had a bad day at work.

"Not really, I've just been thinking about you. I'll be leaving before you know it and I just have a feeling our time together will be short," he said, stroking my cheek.

I smiled softly. "Now you have to have a better attitude than that! You'll leave, go off and serve your country, then come back to me and the baby, she'll be eager to see you."

"And you know it is a girl how?" he grinned.

"I just know," I giggled mysteriously.

"I see..." he chuckled, swinging me back and kissing me. Normally I would have loved it, but in this huge, uncomfortable, pregnant state it was a little hard to do.

"Ooh...you'll have to wait until the baby is out to do that again."

"Oh, I'm sorry love," he held me tenderly until he finally asked, "What's for dinner?"

I got out the pot roast and we ate dinner. Then Robert turned on the radio and we snuggled up all nice and cozy on the couch and listened to "I Love a Mystery" while Robert smoked on his pipe, filling the room with the scent of vanilla. After the end of the new episode of "The Green Hornet", we got ready for bed.

"G'night love. I'll see you in the morning," he smiled; his mild Irish accent always came out when he said goodnight. He tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear.

I smiled in return. How did I end up so lucky? To have such a great husband, and soon, we would have a new bundle of joy. I rubbed my swollen stomach as I lay down, it was heavy, and my petite frame did not help. I had thought the pregnancy would fatten me up enough to satisfy my mother, but of course not, it only made me grateful for the grace I had acquired taking ballet for most of my life. Otherwise I would be bumping into things left and right and the house would be demolished. As soon as I lay down the baby started kicking. It only kicked hard at night when I was trying to sleep, or if I sat down for a long period of time. Robert liked to jokingly say that it meant the baby would be a hard worker, reprimanding me when I was being lazy, and I thought it was because my movement rocked the baby to sleep. I gently rubbed my swollen stomach, the baby stopped kicking, and finally I was able to go to sleep.

~*~

The next day I walked up to Stella's house after Robert had left for work. Her real name was Estella, but everyone called her Stella. We'd been best friends since we were little girls.

"Oh Clara!" She squealed, trying to hug me around the baby bump. "You're getting so far along! Are you counting down the days?"

"Twenty days until I'm due," I said. It was getting so close! But then, that also meant Robert would be deployed in a month and I'd have to go to Burlington. Stella wasn't so excited about that.

"Well come on in! Sit down, I know you must be tired!" she said, ushering me in. She then got us a couple of glasses of sweet tea, her favorite drink and my pregnancy craving. I'd come to her house in the middle of the night to get some if we had run out many times since I had gotten pregnant, and usually she didn't mind. After about the third time, she just showed me where they kept the spare key and I snuck in and out quietly, just getting what I needed. "Guess what?" she grinned finally sitting down.

"What?"

"I finally convinced Dr. Kingston to let me be his nurse for your delivery!" she exclaimed.

"That's great!" Stella had been doing everything she could to get in on my delivery if it was during her shift. If it wasn't she would be there anyway, but as an elated spectator.

"Hey, I was just about to go out to the garden, and my sprouts are looking a little strange. Do you think you could take a look?" she asked.

I smiled and followed her out into the small garden in her back yard. "They need more water," I laughed when I saw her shriveled up sprouts. "And your tulips need to be in the shade."

"Oh, right! Guess I've got to move those then!" she said, putting on her gloves and getting down on her knees to dig up the bulbs.

"I see your roses are doing well though," I fingered one of the flowers on the bush. "Ow!"

"What is it?" Stella asked, spinning around.

"Oh, it's nothing I just pricked my finger, that's all."

"You know, it's bad luck to prick yourself on a rose. I'd be careful if I were you."

"Oh, Stella! You do realize that's just a silly tale our mothers told us to keep us out of the rose bushes!"

"What? Can I not care what happens to my best friend?"

I laughed. How did I attract people who worried all the time? Oh well, I found it sweet and endearing.

We visited some more, but then it came time for me to leave so I could have everything ready by the time Robert got home for lunch.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk home with you?" Stella asked as I headed for the door.

"No, I think I'll be fine, thank you. Bye Stella," I laughed, hugging her.

As I headed down the road I got a strange feeling. Like I was being followed, but I shook it off as superstition. Very few of the old wives tales people used as truth were such. Very suddenly, the baby started kicking. I didn't know why; it never kicked while I was up and about. I got an odd impulse to start running, as if I were in danger, but knowing that even if I needed to I could do no such thing I kept my pace. The baby was merely too much on my frame to run without running out of breath; in fact I tired on the walk between my house and Stella's or even climbing up a flight of stairs.

"Excuse me Miss," a deep voice smoother than satin said from behind me. My head turned quickly to see where the voice came from, and my body slowly followed. "The name's Randall; I'm new in town and it seems my car has broken down, could you perhaps tell me where the nearest mechanic is?" The man behind the voice was incredibly handsome. My mother would have said he sorely needed a haircut as his light brown hair was long enough to pull into a short ponytail. His features had the perfection of an ancient Greek sculpture and his skin had the color of one too. Everything about him put me at ease except his eyes. They were dark red, not a natural color for eyes. Maybe today's ever rebellious youth had found a way to dye their eyes as well as their hair.

"Well, there's Lou's Gas station up in the square. He's a mechanic. You just go up the road here and…"

Randall suddenly put his hands around me and swung me like Robert had the day before. I screamed. What was he doing? Was he going to rape me? Right here in the middle of a neighborhood in broad daylight? My worries of that dissolved as he brought his lips to my neck and bit me. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. I couldn't even scream it so consumed me. My thoughts ran together and became incoherent as did my feeble cries for help. Randall lifted his head. I realized I was on the ground now with him sitting over me. Although my vision was fading I could see that my blood laced his lips.

"Don't worry doll face. It'll be over soon enough," he said as he went back to sucking the blood from me.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I heard Mr. Jenkins shout from his front porch. Randall looked up. "I don't know who you think you are, but you better leave that girl alone!"

"Get away from her!" I heard Mrs. Petty screech from her house across the street. My vision was completely gone now and I was coming in and out of consciousness. The last thing I heard over my neighbors shouting for someone to call 911 was from Randall just before his cold hands left my body.

"Sorry baby, looks like I'll have to find my snack elsewhere."

I didn't even care that he left. The pain was my only thought, my only feeling. I screamed again and again when I was conscious, but I couldn't even escape when I unconscious. I felt like my entire body was burning from the inside out. Time left me, but as it went on I was able to comprehend small pieces of information. The wail of a siren, the worried chatter of doctors and nurses, Robert whispering in my ear, the white glare of the hospital room, Stella's hand wrapped around mine while I screamed until I lost my voice. Eventually though, even these things were lost to me and the pain came to its peak and became so bad I could no longer breathe. Even as the pain eased down and the world went from unbearable to miserable again I dared not take a breath, and I never felt the need to. The doctors likely had me hooked up to oxygen for the baby.

Finally the pain faded to almost nothing and I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was the ceiling. It was speckled with a color I couldn't recognize. I turned my head at this strange turn of events to see Robert, asleep in the chair by my bedside. I smiled and finally took a breath, but as soon as I took that first breath the pain overtook me again, but only in my throat. It was like my throat had been set aflame. I couldn't think about anything else, my senses, my instincts took over. A delicious scent filled the air the next time I breathed, but it only fanned the fire burning in my throat. I felt my body fly up; I jumped toward the source of the smell and tasted the sweetness of it. It was like water rushing over the flames, soothing them, smothering them, but even when there was no more, it still ached. I needed more.

"Clara?" I heard a voice call, a hint of fear made it crack, but before I could identify it I was flying again, taking down the body and sucking it dry. This time my pain was subsided; it felt so good. I felt so good. Finally I was able to look up, away from my instincts, into my conscious mind. I screamed and backed against the wall as I realized what I had done. Robert and Stella's bodies lay lifeless on the floor, all the color sucked out. I looked at my hands. Surely I wasn't strong enough to do that, even with the pain pushing me; I couldn't have killed them both. It just wasn't possible. How could a pregnant woman overpower a healthy, normal woman, as well as a strong healthy man? I heard other nurses running down the hallway, just now reacting to the screams. I couldn't bear this. Life without Robert and Stella? Impossible. The window was situated just fifteen feet across the room. That was it. I wouldn't be a danger to anyone else. I said a quick prayer and apology to my baby for not giving it the chance to live and hurled myself out the window.

The fall was slower than I expected, my body, as if it had a mind of its own since the accident, contorted itself in a matter of milliseconds so that my landing was not only safe, but graceful and catlike. Seeing that I had not died, or even been injured by my stunt, I ran. I didn't know what else to do. I ran home in my hospital gown. Once I got there I was overwhelmed again by the grief, the sadness, and fell to my knees, sobbing. I covered my face. It was dry. No tears would come. I shook with sobs, I screamed to the heavens, but no tears would flow from my eyes. What was wrong with me? Had the devil possessed me so much that I could not even cry to repent for my sins?

I got up and ran up the stairs, which surprised me because normally even walking up them left me panting for breath. I looked down to make sure that what I had gone through wasn't the pain of giving birth. The bump was still there. I continued by changing clothes and throwing my things into a suitcase. I didn't know where I was going to go but I couldn't stay here. Even though I took the biggest one it was soon filled. The last thing I managed to fit was a photo album. Hopefully I would be able to come back, or at least send others back to get the rest of it, but if I were to never come back I wouldn't want to leave without something to remember Robert and Stella, the main subjects of the pictures in the album, by. Once I packed another bag for the baby, not knowing how long it would be before I could come here again, I left the house and headed down the old familiar roads not knowing where they may lead me.

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**I will hopefully be posting soon depending on how much people like this. Reviews are always appreciated including constructive critisism!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Again, the disclaimer, I still don't own Twilight and I'm still borrowing Clara! Thank you Shelby for all your help!**

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Chapter 2

It had been several weeks now. I was camped out in the woods on the west side of town where the foliage was thick, making me hard to find. I still didn't know exactly what had happened to me, but I had found out several things. Among my newly acquired skills were extraordinary grace, speed, strength, sight, smell, and hearing. I learned about these in my countless schemes to try to end my life. The first few times I thought it was sheer luck, but after that it became apparent that I also had near indestructability.

All this would have been good if I hadn't discovered the horrible truth about myself. The delicious scent? Blood. I never longed for food or water. What did I eat and drink? Blood. Human blood. On my fifth day of being a vampire my thirst became so strong I attacked a nearby hiker. This was when I started my long line of attempts at suicide using the tools he had with him, but his knife bent against my skin and his rope did nothing as I had no need to breathe, and I found I never slept.

I was now hiding in the densest part of the woods, where hopefully no human would come looking. I had to have myself trained for the baby. I wouldn't hurt her when she came out and what kind of example would I be if I went out killing people every time I was hungry?

This time my thirst had waited a little longer before becoming excruciating. My every other thought was my thirst but I would not eat. I'd learn to deny myself. I occupied my mind with other things. Sometimes I worked on the baby blanket and made other preparations for the baby. If my thirst wasn't in control by the time it was born I was going to leave it on my sister Linda's front step.

At the moment, I was flipping through the photo album. Recently I had found that all my memories from before the accident were fuzzy and unclear, and so everyday I looked through the album and remembered a different memory with that person in my head, and gradually they became clearer. The pictures, particularly the ones of Robert, and Stella, stabbed at my heart like a hot knife, but even that pain was worth it to feel less lonely. I often found myself talking to them. I decided that since they were dead, that I was not crazy because their spirits were listening, and hopefully they knew how truly sorry I was.

The first picture in the book was a cute one with Linda and me hugging on each other laughing from when we were very little, I was probably five and she was probably seven. Of course, before we got older it was a rare opportunity we got along like that. Linda was always Momma's favorite, so I should have known what would happen when we climbed the big oak tree in our back yard.

_Flashback, 20 years_

"Come on Clara! Don't be such a scaredy cat!" Linda teased as she scrambled up and plopped down on a high branch. I followed her up and started to settle on the same branch. "Clara! No! It can't…!" she shouted before the cracking of the branch drowned her out.

Before I knew it we were both upside down, in my mind plummeting to our certain death. I was pleased to find that I didn't have more than a few scrapes on my arms, but for some reason my dress was stained red on the bottom. I jumped up as a scream pierced the air. The blood was on my legs too. I spun around to find the source of the screaming.

I felt lightheaded as I saw red blood, white bone, and broken flesh where Linda's arm used to be. I closed my eyes, turned around again, and went screaming into the house.

"MOMMA!!"

"Clara, what are you screaming about now?" Mom fussed.

"Momma! Linda fell out of a tree and broke her arm!"

"Oh goodness, Clara, can't you two keep out of trouble for one moment?" she fumed, running outside. "Now you go to next door and stay there until we get back," she said when she came inside, carrying Linda out to the car. Her light brown hair had fallen out of her barrettes and that which wasn't flying everywhere was glued to her face with sweat and tears. There was terror in her grey eyes, and it scared me silly.

I ran over to Mrs. Eaton's. While I was worried about Linda, I also felt bitter about what would happen to me as a repercussion. Linda climbs a tree, Linda tells me to climb it too, Linda breaks her arm when we fall out of the tree, and I knew I would get blamed. At least Mrs. Eaton was nice about it. She helped me clean off my dress and then she let me make the lemonade all by myself and gave me the first piece of her lemon poppy-seed cake, straight out of the oven. Everyone knew that Mrs. Eaton's lemon poppy-seed cake was the best cake in the whole town. She also sent pieces for everyone home with me, but I got the best piece while I was over there.

That night I sat in our room waiting. Waiting for Mom to come in and tell me to go out and pick my switches. I hoped she wouldn't wait until it was dark, I was afraid of the dark. I occupied myself by looking through one of Linda's books. I couldn't read yet, so I was looking at the pictures instead. I'd be going to school with Linda next year. She'd be in third grade and I'd be in first.

"Do you even know what that book is about?" Linda asked from her bed where she was condemned to bed rest for the next few days.

"I know well enough," I muttered. I was still upset that she was going to be the cause of the painful bruises on my legs tomorrow although I knew that wasn't as bad as a broken arm.

"Do you want me to read it to you?" she asked.

The sound of footsteps came down the hallway. I sat up and stared at the door until the footsteps passed.

"She's not going to switch you," Linda said.

"What?"

"I told her it wasn't your fault. I told her it was my idea to climb the tree and that you didn't want to do it."

"Thanks." I got up with the book, cuddled up next to her and handed her the book and she started to read.

_End Flashback_

Lind had always been like that, a little too daring for her own good at times, but always as sweet as honey. I wasn't surprised that as soon as Robert got his draft notice that she invited me to stay with her after Robert left.

My throat ached. The next one was a picture of Stella and me when we were little, playing doctor with Stella's dog Riley.

_Flashback, 18 years_

I walked down the street. It was my first time really out by myself. It was just in the neighborhood, but at seven years old I felt so grown up and important. I turned the street corner and I was met with a surprise to which I'd never seen before. A giant moving truck parked out in front of what used to be old man Springer's house before he passed last fall. His kids finally sold it, and now there was a family moving in. Mom had said she had heard they had a little girl about my age, so I went to investigate.

Surely enough, a little girl with dark red hair, green eyes and a huge grin on her face came skipping out of the house as I walked up.

"Hi," she said. "My name is Stella and I'm going to be a nurse when I grow up."

I didn't know what to say to that. I hadn't even thought about what I wanted to be when I grow up. "Hi, I'm Clara," I finally managed.

Suddenly a huge golden retriever came running up and licked my face.

"Get down Riley!" Stella scolded. We both laughed.

"Hey, do you want to come over to my house? I bet if Momma sees that you're the new neighbors she'll let us bake some cookies for us to take to your mom and dad," I said.

"Yeah!" she squealed, bouncing up and down. "Let me go ask real quick."

I stood there for a while, waiting for her to get back and petting Riley who stayed by my side the whole time. Finally she came back and we went to my house where we made some of the most delicious cookies ever. Riley had to sit outside and wait for us to throw him globs of cookie dough or half eaten cookies out the window.

_End Flashback_

Ever since that day Stella and I had been the best of friends. My throat continued to ache so I flipped the page. It was a picture of Robert and I in front of my house, all dressed up for a school dance.

_Flashback 10 years_

Stella, Cary, and I were walking home from our ballet class. We were chatting about schoolwork we needed to catch up on and giggling about how, although Cary denied it, we all knew that the captain of the football team was sweet on her and going to ask Cary to the dance in two weeks. Suddenly there was a whistle from a street corner. We looked over to see a gang of four boys about our age loitering by the general store. Tommy Baker, a notorious ladies man, and three other boys who we didn't recognize, they must have come from out of town, maybe Scottsdale. Tommy went to visit his grandmother in Scottsdale a lot.

"Hey ladies! How about a date?" Tommy called.

"I'd like me a piece of that," one of the boys we didn't know smirked. The third boy nodded and grinned as well, but the fourth one just stared at me.

"Come on Robby, wouldn't you like a date with one of these lovely girls. I call the red-head," the third one teased.

Robby shrugged and continued to stare, not rudely, but just like he was studying me.

Stella and Cary laughed. I was too shy and had started blushing. Stella blew a teasing kiss at the third boy, took my arm, and we went off.

Twelve days later the dance was two days away. Cary was going with the captain of the football team, no surprise there, Stella was going with one of the boys that were with Tommy two weeks earlier, and I was dateless.

"You better be coming to the dance," Stella said at lunch.

"I don't have a date," I shrugged.

"Sure you do," Stella said.

"No Stella, I do not have a date to the dance."

"Then I guess I'll let that cute guy that I was going to set you up with know he doesn't need to come."

"What cute guy?"

"The one that Patrick was going to bring with him. Too bad, he was looking forward to it too. I talked to him; he's such a nice guy."

I had no clue what she was talking about, but I was interested. "So you're going to set me up on a blind date?" I asked.

"Of course! I couldn't let you go dateless could I?" Stella laughed.

"But Stella, you know I'll just stand there and stutter," I countered.

"No you won't. You'll do fine, besides, your date is very personable. I think he'll be able to get you to talk."

I shook my head. It took me a while to open up to people when I wasn't nervous anyway. If I was in front of a boy I liked I stuttered and blushed and couldn't make eye contact to save my life.

Still, Stella insisted I come, and even came over to my house the next night so she could fight with Linda over who was going to tie me to a chair to put makeup on me and do my hair so I would have to come.

Finally we walked to the school and there were two boys, loitering at the door. The first one, who I recognized as Patrick, waved to us. I recognized the second boy, the one who was supposed to be my date, immediately. It was Robby, the boy who had just stared that afternoon. He was doing it again. We walked over to them.

"You ladies look very nice tonight," Patrick smiled coolly.

"Why thank you Patrick, but you always think that. What do you think?" Stella asked Robby, although you could tell she meant me.

"You look beautiful," he smiled, taking my hand lightly.

"Thank you," I said softly, almost inaudibly. I could already feel my face turning red.

He grinned. His smile was full of mischief and laughter.

A lively song came on and Patrick and Stella went off to dance. Robby and I stayed behind, looking at the trees moving in the wind on the spring evening.

"Hi," he said, nervously running his hand through his hair.

"Hi," I said, smiling a little although I didn't know why. He was handsome, tall, with thick red hair, and green eyes, his face lightly covered in freckles, but usually that would make me even shyer than was my usual disposition.

"I'm sorry if my friends and I made you uncomfortable the other day," he said softly.

"No, its okay, I wasn't so much uncomfortable as blushing against my will."

He chuckled. "I see that happens a lot." He still held my hand. His hand was big and soft and warm, and it eased my nervousness greatly, so much so that we were actually able to carry on a pleasant conversation. After we went inside the dance seemed to fly by. Robby, or Robert as he asked me to call him, and I danced the whole night and finally parted ways when the teachers kicked us out. Then Robert and Patrick had to catch the late bus back to Scottsdale, and Linda, Stella, and I stumbled home, exhausted.

The next day I was working on school work, Linda and Mom were making dinner in the kitchen, and Dad was smoking a cigar and reading the paper in the living room. There was a knock at the door.

"Clara can you get that?" Dad asked.

I got up and answered the door. It was Robert.

"Hi Robert...wait, how do you know where I live?"

"Tommy told me. I got these for you." He handed me a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh! These are beautiful! Thank you!"

"Clara, I really had a lot of fun last night, and there's something I wanted to ask you."

"Now who is this 'Robert?' Is it the same on you've been going on and on about all day?" my dad asked, I felt his shadow come over me and I blushed. Yes, I had been talking to Linda and Mom about how much I had enjoyed the dance, but Dad didn't have to say it out loud.

"I'm Robert Finley from Scottsdale, and if she'd like, I'd like to ask your permission to ask your daughter for a date," Robert said, I was surprised how he kept his composure. My dad was pretty intimidating. He was six foot three and had a muscular build. He had actually scared off one boy before he found out he was only visiting Linda because they were partners for a science project.

"Hmm..." My dad was surprised he hadn't gone running either, or at least started quaking in his boots. He gave Robert the once over and inspected the flowers he gave me. "What's her name boy?" he asked.

"Clara," he answered promptly and surely.

"Alright, but if you leave that girl with a broken heart I swear I will..."

"I won't sir! Thank you sir!" he said excitedly.

Dad went back to his paper.

"Clara, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me sometime."

"I'd love to."

_End Flashback_

Robert promised my father he wouldn't leave me with a broken heart, and for ten years he hadn't. Now my broken heart was of my own doing.

I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed the photo album shut. The pain was too much to bear now, both in my throat and in my heart. My heart was aching just as badly as my throat as Robert and Stella's dead bodies flashed through my mind again and again. I wondered what had happened to them. Hopefully they were buried peacefully somewhere. I sincerely hoped, although that would make me far less lonely, that what happened to me did not happen to them.

When I felt I was ready I would try to go to my parents or Linda, but for now, the forest was my home, the trees sheltered me from the sun, from the wind and the rain, and most of all from humanity. Humanity, humanity where everyone I cared about was, but humanity was for humans and I certainly was no longer that.

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**Okay, so since I already have a few of the chapters for this story pre-written I'll be updating daily for the next few days, but be warned that rarely happens, I usually crank out one chapter per week. Thank you for your reviews in advanced haha****!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again readers! It's nice to imagine your bright and shiny faces. :) Now it is time for a disclaimer.**

**Despite my wishes I still do not own Twilight or Clara although I do own Clara's family which I know is somewhat strange.**

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Chapter 3

I took a deep breath before walking up to my parents' door. I had just eaten, and my throat didn't burn as much as it used to, but the delicious scent had followed me everywhere once I left the woods and as I approached the front door it got stronger and I had to stop breathing. The doorbell chimed and I heard footsteps come to the door.

"Now what can I do for you…" my mom started as she opened the door, but the moment she saw me she screamed and slammed it shut again.

"Mom!" I cried. "It's me, Clara, just let me in!" I felt the urge to cry, but still no tears would come, they never did.

"What is it Louise?" my dad called, his heavy footsteps came closer to the door too.

"Cl…Cl…"

"Let me in Dad!" I called through the door.

"Louise, it's just Clara," my dad laughed. "There's no reason to be hiding like that, you're going to scare the poor girl to death."

"Carl, Clara is supposed to be missing, they said she was probably dead," my mom whispered. "And that is not our daughter."

"Don't be silly Louise, of course that's our daughter! I'm sure she'll be able to explain herself once she comes in and maybe has a nice glass of tea." Dad opened the door. He was able to last longer than mom looking at me, but there was still a look of shock and horror on his face.

"Daddy?" I asked softly. What was wrong? I was sure I had washed all the blood off my face from when I last ate.

"What…what do you want?" he sputtered.

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't know. I just…I just want to go home!" I fell to my knees and shook with sobs again, and still no tears. "They're dead! Dead! And it's all because of me!" I wailed.

"Who? Who's dead?" Mom asked, finally saying something.

"Robert and Stella! Robert and Stella are dead and I think I killed them!" I pounded the porch with my fist and it broke like an eggshell. I looked up at my parents who had backed halfway down the hall. "Momma! Daddy!" I sobbed, looking into their fright filled eyes.

"I'm sorry Clara, if it's really you." He slowly crept towards the door and pushed it shut.

"MOMMA! DADDY!" I screamed, slamming my fist into the porch again where it broke further. "Come back! Come back…" When no one came I picked up my stuff and left.

When I was off my parents' property and back on the street I opened my purse and took out my little mirror. Until now my disgust with myself had won out against my curiosity, but I wanted to see what made my parents react like that. To my horror I looked completely different. I could still see features of my old self, but for the most part I was a total stranger. No wonder Mom and Dad claimed I wasn't me. I wasn't saying the new me wasn't pretty. She was gorgeous, but it wasn't me.

I had always had fair skin, but now my face was almost white and my cheeks had lost all their former rosiness which had caused many a person to pinch them. My hair was a mess, a mane of curly black tangles, but that was to be expected as I hadn't bothered combing it since the accident. The part that really made me cringe was that my blue eyes were now a ruby red color. No wonder they didn't recognize me. No wonder they didn't want me. I wasn't me anymore. I shook my head, held back my sobs, and shoved the mirror back in my bag.

My next stop was Linda's house. I tried to make myself more presentable before getting there, taking an hour to get my hair back to its normal state, changing my dress, and putting on a lot of blush which I purchased at the Burlington drug store with the little money I had brought with me, to bring the rosiness back to my cheeks. There was nothing I could do about my eyes and I hoped they didn't frighten her too much.

Luckily, her reaction to me was completely different than that of my parents.

"Clara! Thank God you're alive! Are you okay? You look…well you look different. Come in!" she said ushering me in.

"Oh Linda. Mom and Dad don't believe that I'm me. I know I look different. Please Linda! It's me! I promise!"

"I know Clara. When Mom and Dad came to visit you, you were in one of your screaming fits and the nurses wouldn't let them in, so they haven't seen you like this. I came a little later and I saw you looked like this."

"I don't know what's happening to me! I don't look the same, I don't feel the same! I've changed! Things have changed! Worst of all Robert and Stella are dead!" I moaned.

"Oh Clara!" Linda wrapped her arms around me and the sweet scent of her blood filled my lungs, burning my throat. Her blood smelled like lilacs, but it was delicious nonetheless.

I shoved her away and stopped breathing before my instinct could take over. I'd killed Robert and Stella; I wouldn't kill Linda too. "I…I have to use the restroom," I said quickly with the breath I had left before sprinting down the hall and into the bathroom.

I splashed my face with cold water and looked myself over in the mirror again. No change. I tried to drink some water to calm the fire in my throat, but I only threw it back up several seconds later like I knew I would.

"I'm so sorry Linda," I said, coming out of the bathroom. "I don't know what came over me."

Linda looked at me sympathetically. "It's alright Clara. I had Michael take your things up to the guest room."

"Are you feeling better Aunt Clara?" Mary, Linda's six year old daughter asked, taking my hand. I noticed her hand was extremely warm, but I couldn't dwell on it. I had to spend all my effort to trying to stay in my proper mind. I couldn't lose myself again.

Despite's Mary's trust, Daniel, her four year old brother, hid behind Linda's skirt.

"A little," I managed.

"I'm sorry about Uncle Robert and Stella," she said, wrapping her arms around me.

"Thank you sweetie," I choked out. I was running out of air to talk with.

"You look tired; do you want to lie down?" Linda asked.

"That would be nice," I said, using the last bit of air. I walked slowly up the stairs and once I was far enough ahead I took a little breath in case I'd need to say anything else.

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything," Linda said, rubbing my shoulders.

I would never say it, but it was such a relief when she went downstairs. I ran to the window and opened it. I couldn't bear the scent. It burned my throat and it was everywhere.

From my room I could hear everything that went on in the house. Everything from Linda's worried chatter about me, to Michael's quiet "mhmm" and "is that right?" to the kids playing hide and seek in the living room.

I tried and tried and tried to sleep even though I knew I couldn't, I tried to escape from this Hell for just one moment, but it wouldn't come to me. I put my hand on my stomach and realized the baby hadn't kicked all this time, even when I was lying down.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry," I whispered. Now, because of me, it would never have a daddy. Still nothing. I just sat there, hoping for a kick, a movement, anything to make me feel a little less alone. Then the sun came out from behind the clouds. It had been cloudy for days up until that point, but when it came out, I wished it would go back.

As soon as the sun's rays hit my skin it began to sparkle. I yanked my hand back. Did I really see what I thought I just saw? I slowly slid my hand back over my stomach, the sparkles came back. It was beautiful, like I was covered in diamonds. I tried out my other hand. It was the same, down to the fingernails every inch of my skin sparkled. I flexed my hand and wondered at the magic of it. Did this come with my transformation? Was this the upside? As beautiful as it was it really wasn't worth it.

Before I could go further little footsteps hurried up the stairs and my door flew open.

"Aunt Clara, Momma says..." was what Daniel got out before he gasped and jumped about ten feet in the air. For a moment I was confused about what he was jumping at, but then I realized my hands were still in the sun. I pulled them back. I could hear his heart speed up, the blood pounding, pounding, pounding. "Momma says that dinner's ready if you feel up to coming down to get it."

"Thank you Daniel, I'll be down in a moment," I said, but it was too late, Daniel had already slammed the door and was running down the stairs.

"What have I told you about slamming doors in this house young man!" I heard Linda shout.

"Sorry Momma," Daniel said as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

I took a deep breath out the window and closed the curtains before slowly climbing down the stairs.

The food smelled the same as always and I could tell it was many of my favorites, but for some reason it didn't make my mouth water the way it used to, in fact, it wasn't even appetizing. Had I not known I liked the things I smelled I would have said it wasn't even food.

"Clara, how come you're not eating?" Linda asked halfway through the meal. I had tried to eat it, I had, but whenever the food touched my tongue it tasted like dirt. Everything tasted the same. The mashed potatoes-dirt, the ham-dirt, the peas-dirt, the biscuits-dirt, even the sweet tea tasted disgusting. The only appetizing thing I smelled was the sweet scent of blood that constantly haunted me.

"I'm sorry Linda, I know how hard you worked on this and I really appreciate it. I guess I just don't have much of an appetite."

"I understand." The family went back to their conversation.

Suddenly my stomach started to churn, it hurt so much. I knew I was going to be sick. I didn't trust myself to ask to be excused as I got up from the table and raced to the bathroom. Surely enough, all the "dirt" came back up and into their toilet.

"Is everything alright?" Linda called through the bathroom door.

"I think I'm sick," I moaned.

"Oh, you poor thing! Are you running a fever?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Alright, well, you go on upstairs when you feel better, call me if you need anything," she said sympathetically, then left.

After my little episode though, I felt fine. I went upstairs and tried to sleep again. I stared at the clock and watched the hours tick by. By ten everyone was in bed, but at eleven I heard footsteps creeping towards my room. At first I thought it was Linda, but as they got closer I realized the footsteps were too small.

"Aunt Clara?" Daniel's little voice whispered from the doorway.

"Yes Daniel?" I whispered back.

"Are you a fairy?" he asked in all seriousness.

"I don't think so," I chuckled.

"Then why do you sparkle?"

"I don't know."

He crept further into the room until he was about three feet from my bed.

"Maybe I'm a ghost," I mused, with all the strange things happening lately I wouldn't be surprised.

"I think you're an angel," Daniel said, taking a few more steps toward the bed. I hadn't been thinking about not breathing and the scent hit me strong, I could hardly think clearly and I flew up to stick my head out the window to breathe.

"Daniel, I don't think so, it'd probably be best for you to go back to bed. I'm sick, remember?"

"But Aunt Clara! You're already up! I can help you feel better!" he exclaimed.

"I wish you could Daniel. I wish you could. I think I have to leave tonight. Go back to bed. If I'm not here in the morning tell your mother thank you and that I love her okay?"

"Don't leave Aunt Clara! You're sick, remember? He ran up to me and threw his arms around my leg.

Luckily I had air and had stopped breathing. I picked him up and hugged him, being careful not to inhale.

"OW!" Daniel nearly shouted. I was surprised he didn't wake the whole house.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whispered, putting him back down.

He tried to keep a brave face while wiping the tears off his cheeks, but at a loss of things to say (he'd always been taught if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all), he ran back to his room.

Just then Linda came back in. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard talking."

"Daniel came in, he couldn't sleep, but don't worry, he didn't wake me."

She smiled a little. "Okay then. You've been gone for a while; we've all been so worried about you."

I nodded. I had run out of air. A breeze came rustling up and flew through the window. I tried to inhale the fresh air but at that moment Linda stepped in front of the window fussing about the chill I was going to get from keeping it open. The wind tousled her hair and blew past her jugular vein. The sweet scent of lilacs filled my lungs and I lost it. I flew up and attacked her. This time I realized what I was doing, but I couldn't stop. As much as I screamed inside, I couldn't make myself move. I couldn't stop sucking; the blood soothed my throat like water on a fire, but I was able to pull away before she was completely gone.

She looked up at me with horror in her eyes, panting for breath, unable to scream she moaned. I realized that if I didn't do something she would end up like me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want to kill her, but if I didn't her life would be the same living Hell that mine had become. I knew well that death was better than this.

I pulled her closer in my arms, careful not to break her fragile body.

She clutched at my dress, her eyes madly darting around the room, her vision likely fading. "Clara?" she gasped.

"I'm right here Linda. I'm right here. I'm going to make it all better. Shhh…I'm sorry. I love you." I couldn't wait any longer, if I did, she would start to turn. I looked away and pushed her head back until I heard the crack of her neck. She gasped, and then sighed, falling limp in my arms.

My heart broke again as I clutched her to my chest, sobbing silent, tearless sobs.

"Aunt Clara?" Daniel asked, sticking his head into the room again.

I dropped Linda.

"Momma? Momma?!?" he called, running over to her. I knew I couldn't stay any longer. I'd be kicked out when they found out anyway. I may as well save them the trouble of having to confront me about it. I grabbed my things while Daniel tried to wake Linda up. I heard him calling for me to help him, but I knew there was nothing I could do, I had to leave now, I could hear Michael getting out of bed and running towards my room.

Jumping from heights hadn't killed me before, but hopefully it would this time. I dove out the window head first, but I landed on my feet again and bolted into the woods. I realized that I could not handle being in society. I had to stay away from everyone I cared about, far, far away.

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**Okay, my thankies still go to Shelby! I hoped you all liked it! Next chapter we get to remeet a certain someone. :)**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Another chapter! Woot! I'm gonna try and update daily for as long as I can :) Guess what? I still don't own Twilight or Clara!!**

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Chapter 4.

Three days. For three days now I had been on the run. I was pretty sure I was out of the state now. All I did was walk through the forest aimlessly in grief. I had nothing but my suitcases and the clothes on my back. I didn't even really need the suitcases, but they were a source of comfort, a remnant of the life I once knew, and once the baby was born he or she would need baby things. My throat didn't burn as much but I knew that was because I had committed murder. I had murdered my sister cold. My hands were red with guilt; my soul was wracked with grief and shame. I couldn't believe that I had done it, knowing full well what I was doing. Robert and Stella were an accident and as much I regretted their deaths, I knew I didn't know it was them at the time, but with Linda I knew it was her while I was in the act.

There was no way now. I would never be able to come back to society, not being the monster I was. I still had no idea what kind of monster I was but obviously it was the blood sucking type. I still held hope though; that I could have control by the time the baby was born. I had to, there was no where else that I could go, and even if there was I couldn't trust myself to go there and not kill anyone.

The baby still remained silent and still. I likely would be giving birth any day now though. I counted days in my head. It was twenty days before my due-date on the day before the attack, but I realized that I had no idea how long I had been out after that. It could have been a day or a week and I wouldn't have known the difference. Finally I just disregarded that and started counting the days I knew. I had been in the forest alone for a month before I tried to visit anyone. A month. My baby had been due at least thirteen days ago. I put my hand on the bulge. I knew the baby hadn't kicked in a while, but I thought that it had at some point when I was busy focusing on my thirst like I had just been earlier, walking through a more populated part of the town I was walking through. Now I was out in a farmer's field and I couldn't smell any humans around, but there was something else.

"Hello there miss," a familiar satin voice said from behind me.

"You," I growled. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" I screamed, lunging towards him and taking him to the ground.

"Calm down, tearing me apart isn't going to do anything, just let me try and explain. I've been looking for you for a while."

I paused, but kept him pinned to the ground.

"What. Did. You. Do. To. Me?" I finally managed, choking each word out.

"What do you think doll face? I was going to drink your blood, but I was so rudely interrupted, and now you're stuck like this. Forever."

"Forever," I slowly repeated.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," he said.

I was numb. Like this? Forever? It was unfathomable. "What...what do you mean forever?"

"Well, to my knowledge the only way to kill our kind is to tear them apart and then burn the pieces. I've been a vampire since 1813; I was born in Philadelphia and became a sailor at the age of twenty. On a trip to Italy I was attacked in the city of Volterra, but the Volturi got to me before I died. When they saw that I didn't have a power that was of any use to them they sent me away. I was one of the lucky ones. There are a lot of vampires wandering around that don't know about the Volturi, but the Volturi knows about them. A lot of them don't see it coming when they make themselves known and then suddenly, sometime the next day, they're taken out. It's a lot like the mafia."

"What are we?" I asked.

"Vampires."

"Vampires?" I'd seen a horror movie with one once, but I wasn't totally clear on what kind of things that vampires did. What I remembered from the movie didn't seem to match what had happened to me.

"Yeah, the humans tend to twist things up a little about us. Look, as you know just because we have to kill to live doesn't mean we don't have hearts. I feel really bad about what happened between us and since I made you like this I'll stay with you until you get the hang of it."

"Oh, well if you wouldn't mind…"

"Hey, we have forever and I'm not doing anything."

"Well thank you." Frankly I was still in a state of shock over the whole forever thing.

We walked together for a while as he filled me in even more about vampires. As night approached, storm clouds gathered above us.

"We better get to a hotel or something before it starts to rain," said Randall.

"Why?" I asked. "It's not like we sleep and we can't catch pneumonia."

"Yeah, but being soaked by rain is not fun, and well, eventually you'll have to lose the suitcases."

I tightened my hands around them. I wouldn't leave these for the world.

"Good evening, welcome to the Prairie Dog Inn. How may I help you?" the woman at the front desk said, obviously flirting with him. When she saw my wedding ring she frowned for some reason.

"We'd like a room please," Randall said with a charming smile.

"Alright I can do that," she said hitting some keys on her cash register.

Randall paid and we went to our room.

"Where'd you get the money?" I asked.

"I took it off the last guy I...um...got."

"Mmm..." Even thinking about blood made me thirsty. I rubbed my throat.

"Don't worry. It'll stop hurting as bad after the first year. You're just in the newborn stage, and it takes a lot of getting used to, being around people for a long time...one second."

I heard it too. Someone was coming.

"Congratulations," the woman said with a motherly smile on her face as she passed us. Randall smiled and took my hand warmly.

As soon as she was gone I yanked my hand out of his grip. "What do you think you're doing?" I hissed.

"Humoring that lady," he said simply, shrugging it off. Maybe I was overreacting, but there was no way that the thing that took me away from my world would try to take my husband's place.

"Well I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"Fine, but we need a story; we can be brother and sister."

I bit my lip. Linda came back into my mind and my heart ached. I just wanted someone to hold onto, someone who could safely love me, even like this, but all I had now was Randall.

We got into the hotel room and I put my stuff in a corner. "So now what?" I asked. What exactly did one do with eternity?

"I guess we wait out the storm."

Despite the pain it put me through I only grew more and more sure of my decision to kill Linda after I had bitten her. Not only was it an eternity of pain and loss, but it was an eternity of boredom too, she would have hated it more than I did, especially since she had children which she would never get to see. I couldn't imagine what anyone could do to deserve this Hell. I sighed.

"It's not all that bad," Randall said softly. "I mean, we get to see the world. We get to follow history, and we get to...um...well, at least we have each other."

I nodded, but it wasn't a very consoling thought. Randall turned off the lights to make it look like we were sleeping and we sat there silently for hours, just staring at each other, listening to the rain and waiting for the storm to stop. I would never sleep again, never dream again, except for my hopes and dreams for my child. I bit my lip. There was only one way for the baby to have a father figure in her life. The question was; was my obstinate pride going to get in the way of that? I barely knew Randall and had no idea if I could trust him, but the baby was coming. I figured that after I got out of the newborn stage I would be able to have it and that was what had taken me past my due date.

"Randall?" I said softly.

"Yes?"

"I killed my husband. I killed my best friend. I killed my sister. My parents don't believe who I am. I have no one left to turn to."

"I'm so sorry," he said. I could feel the remorse in his voice.

"When I have my baby, I want it to have a Daddy. I want it to have a male figure in its life, and you're the only one I can ask. I...I don't want you to replace my husband. Nothing of the sort, but the baby needs a Daddy, and...and you're the only one I have left."

"Oh Clara," he said quietly. I heard him get up. I heard his footsteps come towards me, his arms wrapped around me. "Clara, I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you. You obviously care about this baby a lot and I hate to tell you this, but..."

"But what?" I interrupted. I didn't like his arms around me, especially if he was going to say no.

"Well Clara…I don't know how to say this…" he said sadly.

"What is it?" I asked. I knew what he was going to say. He was going to say I would have to give up my baby. He was going to ask me to do one of the hardest things possible.

"Clara…I…I don't think you're going to have the baby."

I laughed, but it was a wild and desperate laugh. "What do you mean I'm not going to have the baby? That's preposterous! What goes in must come out! It's a law of nature!"

"If you didn't notice, we don't really go by the laws of nature…"

"No…no…my baby is safe…my baby is safe inside me." I slid my hand over my still stomach. "She's nice and cozy now, just waiting to come out. You'll see. She'll come out once I'm done being a newborn," I protested, but I knew my confidence was only outward.

I had never before thought my baby wasn't going to come out. It was just silly. I couldn't stay in this big, fat, pregnant state forever could I? No. I couldn't. I made up my mind that Randall just wanted to avoid responsibility and that he was in denial. My baby was a hard worker, a fighter. She had survived this. She had to. I couldn't go on living without her. No. My baby was going to be okay.

"Clara…" Randall said, his voice still hushed.

"No!" I shouted. "No! My baby will be fine…you'll see. She's going to be a perfect, healthy baby with ten little fingers and ten little toes and I'll take care of her. I'll play with her in the day and watch over her at night when she's asleep. I'll get to see her walk and talk and go off to school and date and graduate and get married and make something of herself. She will. I promise you. She will be fine."

I kept repeating that in my head. I kept watching my little daughter grow and play and learn and love over and over for hours. But still, I kept my hand on my stomach and stayed perfectly still, waiting, waiting for her kick, waiting for one of those butterfly contractions, waiting for a sign of life.

"Come on," I whispered, rubbing my hand up and down my belly. "Come on. Do it for Mommy. Please?"

Still nothing, but that didn't mean anything. She likely wasn't strong enough to be able to kick through vampire flesh so that I could feel it. That had to be it. Knives couldn't cut me, what made me think I'd be able to feel baby feet? She would be fine. She would. My baby girl was going to be just fine.

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**Hmmm...what will happen to the baby? Okay, well again, my thanks for Shelby and Megan. I also thank those of you who review for doing so :).**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again! This chapter's a little short, but definitely important to the plot. In other news, I still can't profit off of anything I write using the characters, universe, or ideas of Twilight, and Shelby is at drum major camp so I can't lobby for ownership of Clara either.**

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Chapter 5.

Randall and I continued to travel together. He showed me how to control my thirst and how to take down people without causing them too much pain and how to cover my tracks. I learned that I could be in society, but only as a tourist. We could never settle because we never aged and we had to eat, but still, it was far better than the seclusion of the woods. When it rained, we rented a motel room, but often we just roamed the city streets by day and the country fields by night. We hadn't run into anymore of our kind, but Randall said that we were in the mid-west and that the vampires here spread out a lot. He said we likely wouldn't see more than one or two wanderers like us until we reached the west coast.

I waited for my baby. I tried to take good care of myself. I ate regularly and tried not to over do it even though I sometimes felt as though I could do anything. I was also constantly testing my will power against the burn in my throat. I had a couple of accidents, but for the most part it was progressing nicely.

"Oooh! Look at the peonies! Aren't they lovely?" I squealed as we passed by the garden of a nearby church. Services had let out so we looked normal walking down the street as long as we kept our pace slow enough. An older couple looked at us and smiled. I had gotten used to that.

"What are peonies?" Randall asked. He knew nothing about botany. Unluckily for him, I loved botany as much as he loved astrology, and although I wasn't quite as well versed on flowers as he was on stars, for every lecture I got on Orion's belt he got one on peonies or roses or tulips.

"Peonies are those flowers to the left of the garden. They come in lots of different colors and several shapes too, but those over there are my favorite kind. Peonies generally bloom in May and…" I stopped dead in my tracks.

It was May. It had been a nearly a year and two months since I had been turned. I'd stopped keeping track of the date months ago, having decided that when the time came I would know. Nearly two months after my self assigned due date and nothing yet. Not a kick, not a contraction, not a sign of the life within me.

"What is it Clara?" Randall asked gently, taking my hand as part of our ruse.

"Randall, I'm two months overdue," I whispered.

"No you're not."

"Yes. Yes, I am. I was supposed to give birth two months ago."

"It's been a little longer than that," he mumbled.

"No! I mean two months ago when I stopped being a newborn..."

"Oh, Clara, I thought you understood..." he said softly.

"Understood what?"

"Clara, you're not going to have your baby."

I felt the rage flow through me. How dare he say such a thing?

"Our bodies aren't capable of change; our bodily fluids are all venom. Even if there were the remote possibility that the baby survived your change there's no way for us to get it out. I'm so sorry Clara."

I felt my fists clench. "No," I gasped. The fire in my throat flared.

"Clara?" I heard him say cautiously, but I was lost by then.

How? How could my baby just not come out? How did I lose her? How did I lose my child? The pain not only seared through my heart but also my throat and as the wind blew in my face I screamed.

I felt the control slipping from me as I sprung like a wild cat and took down the old woman who had smiled at us. I felt the blows of her husband, but they meant nothing to me, I could hardly feel them. I felt Randall pulling me back as well, but I was still stronger than him. I threw him down easily and went back to soothing my pain with the sweet warm liquid. The blood was now almost like liquor, making it easy to forget about my baby, the relief my mind's focus.

Once she was drained I turned to the old man. He was now just standing there, paralyzed by fear, making him easy to take down. Each drink of blood only made me crave more as I took down person after person as they approached the scene. I had no idea where Randall was and frankly, I didn't care. I felt no remorse this time. I didn't know these people and I didn't care who they were. One, two, three, four, five, I lost count as I took down anyone within lunging distance. Finally I couldn't see anyone, but I could smell her. The scent of the blood ironically reminded me of the peonies I had pointed out earlier, but much more mouth-watering. I also heard her whimpers and the pounding of her heart, making her incredibly easy to find.

Throwing back the door she was hiding behind I went full attack on her. She shrieked, but there was no one left to hear her. As I was sucking her peony flavored blood, I got a flash of knowledge. I had no idea how I knew. Looking at her the few seconds I did I couldn't visibly tell, but as soon as my skin brushed against hers I knew she was pregnant. Just like me.

This jolting thought brought me out of my fit. I realized what I had done as I felt two lives flicker and go out like candles.

Her body fell to the ground with a thud that echoed through the church entrance. I sat there, paralyzed. My thoughts, my hurts consumed by what I had just seen, what I had just done. I had reached a new low; killing, not for hunger, not even for a reason, just out of anger. I felt the words for what I was slip off my lips as if I were accusing myself, "murderer, monster, devil."

The sounds of police sirens came wailing towards the church and I got up and looked for Randall. Hopefully he would take me back, but he was nowhere to be found. He must have left after I threw him down, not wanting to have his cover blown. As I walked I could not avoid seeing the dead bodies of my victims. Men, women, not children except the one I had sensed luckily.

Randall was wrong. There was no way a vampire could live safely among humans. Everything was just too risky. Or maybe he could do it, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't massacre this many people again. There had to be at least ten of them.

The sirens grew louder and I knew I had to run, with or without Randall. I'd probably find him later. I bolted into the woods. Randall and I always made sure that there were woods nearby wherever we went in case we had an accident, although I didn't think either of us expected to have one on this scale.

The trees flew past me in a haze as I raced off my nervous energy, taking myself as far away from my crime as possible. As little as I was looking forward to it I would have to make the woods my home now, and to make it up to all those people I killed for no reason at all, I would fast. I would hold my hunger as long as I could, not venture into the world of humans for anything. My baby was…I still couldn't think it, but my baby wouldn't need the blood, so I would go without it. If I did manage to starve myself to death, it would be one of the better things I'd done for society since my change.

Finally the woods became dense enough that I couldn't navigate them without paying attention, which meant that no sane hiker would travel there. I climbed into the nearest tree and surveyed the surroundings. I realized that I had done what I had set out to do extremely effectively, as I was unsure of the direction I had come from, and therefore, no escape. There enough clear ground for me to have a place to sit. I swung down to the patch of damp grass and put my suitcases in front of me.

Randall had been right about one thing, I didn't need this much stuff. I'd already consolidated into one bag which looked more like a purse than anything. I sorted through everything in it and realized that half the things I had packed were for the baby. The baby who wasn't coming out. I didn't know what I was going to do with these things, so for now I put them back and placed the suitcase against a tree. Out of the things I had left I wished one of them had been a book. Then the photo album caught my eye. I hadn't looked at for about six months since Randall and I had walked all day and he managed to keep me occupied at night. I pulled it open and flipped it to the first page. Pain I felt daily shot through me again as I saw Linda, Stella, and Robert on the page. This was going to be a long time in waiting, a long time in pain.

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**All my normal thanks go out to the assigned people, but an extra one to Megan for being my fill in unofficial beta-reader for this. Next chapter we see some familiar faces! Unfortunately, I only have one more pre-written chapter, but hopefully I can crank one out by Sunday. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello all! Alright here it is, the disclaimers you all love so much. I do not own Twilight or Stephenie Meyer or her brain. I do not own Clara, my cousin Shelby, or her brain. There are certain characters in this chapter from the original Twilight Series that may be described differently than they were in Midnight Sun mainly because I have not read Midnight Sun.**

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Chapter 6.

This pain had to be comparable to that of my turning. I had been in the forest for two years. The fire consumed my throat and attacked the rest of my body. Each breath was an instrument of torture even though there were no humans in the area. The air running against my throat merely irritated it further. The only thing that kept me going was the fact I couldn't die. I regretted going so long without eating, but by the time I decided to give in, I couldn't find my way out of the woods. Three times a hiker or a criminal on the run managed to find their way to me, but it wasn't enough. The last time a hiker came by was five months ago, and the longest I had gone before that was the three months I waited for that hiker to come along.

I'd been wandering around for the past several weeks to no avail. Having not eaten made me weak; almost to the strength of a human I was guessing, and it made navigating the woods that much more difficult. Sometimes it seemed that the plants actually grew just to get in my way, and if I sat and rested for too long it was nearly impossible to get through the foliage that popped up.

Someone called my name, but I knew it was a hallucination. I'd been having several of these a day now. I sat down and leaned against a tree, waiting until it was over. Soon my vision would be taken over by the hallucination too. I remembered my longing to be able to dream long ago, but this was a nightmare.

Light danced in front of my eyes, leaving me blinded for the moment. I knew they weren't real, but when my loved ones appeared in front of the lights, I grabbed for them wildly, never achieving the touch I desired. Evil thoughts ran through my head when they appeared. I could almost taste their blood and longed to lung and kill them for it. I wanted them so badly, yes for companionship, but mainly for food.

Today the figure that stood before the light alternated between Stella and the pregnant woman I had last attacked.

"Clara! Clara!" I heard Stella's voice calling. When these illusions first came to me I would reply when they called my name and go running toward them, but now I knew that would do nothing. Still, sometimes talking to the voices made them go away.

"Stella it hurts," I whimpered.

"I know," she said softly coming closer, reaching out to me. At that moment she became the pregnant woman. The taste of peonies burned me once again, but it reminded me why I was doing this.

I closed my eyes and threw my head around trying to shake out the false scent. I felt a hand against my face, but I knew it wasn't real. The hallucinations were completely sensory. I was able to see, hear, and touch whoever or whatever decided to show up, but the worst part was when I could smell, or even taste the human blood.

"Clara, look," Robert's voice whispered.

I slowly reopened my eyes so I could see him. As much as I hated hallucinating, getting to physically see my loved ones was wonderful, and seeing Robert almost put me in a sort of ecstasy. He looked handsome just as always, his scruffy red hair, the stubble on his face, his sharp jaw line, the depth of his green eyes were all exactly as I remembered them. Although there was nothing but air to meet me as the touching was one way, I put my hands on his face and tried to bring him closer.

"Clara," he whispered. "Look over there."

Following his pointing finger my gaze met a large grizzly bear. I didn't know if the bear was real or not, but I could smell him very clearly. He had just eaten a deer and the blood from that was still on his muzzle.

"Eat it," Robert said.

Eat it? I didn't know if I could. I thought we only operated on human blood. It would do no good to put water in a car's engine, no good to feed a human grass, so what good would it do me to drink the blood of a bear? Now that I was thinking that way though, the blood almost smelled like human blood. Bears are omnivores; humans are omnivores, why couldn't they be the same?

"Go on," he urged.

I got on my hands and knees and started crawling towards him. The bear seemed unperturbed by my movements, so I went closer. When I was about five feet away, I summed up all my energy and lunged at him. He roared and stood on his hind legs at this, causing me to fall off him.

"Try again," I heard Robert say, but I could no longer see him. If my body went as far as pretending to be Robert to tell me to eat the bear, the bear was probably edible.

At this thought a newfound strength came to me. I jumped up and chased after the running bear. My mind went into predator mode and I was happy to lose it. I had been trapped there for far too long since my last my last hunt, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, I had nothing to do but think. I knew if it weren't for talking to my hallucinations I would have gone insane from lack of social contact.

Finally the bear was within my reach. The scent became more and more alluring as I approached. My feet shoved the ground beneath them and I soared over the bear, landing cleanly on his back, my head in the perfect position to bite.

As my teeth pierced his neck the warm liquid began to spill. I must have hit his jugular vein. It wasn't as good as human blood that was for sure. In fact, if I could compare human blood to flowers, the blood of this bear could be compared to leaves, It neither smelled nor tasted as good as the flowers but it was generally the same thing. It washed away my pain all the same. All I felt was relief, and strangely enough, it was the same relief I felt with human blood although because of the length of time I had gone without blood it was one-hundred times better.

Something was missing. The taste yes, but something else as well, something that had always accompanied a feeding. My hands clutched the light brown fur and I remembered. There was no wracking feeling of guilt. I felt no guilt. It was just a bear; there was no loss of human life involved. No loss of human life, and yet I was full, I was satisfied and strengthened. Could it be? Could I really substitute animal blood for its human counterpart and survive all the same? I had to tell somebody. Every one of us had to know. We could stop this senseless violence! There was a better way!

With my newfound strength I bolted through the forest only to find I was less than a mile away from the edge. I would have found my way out within the week without the bear blood, but I was so glad I had found it. The human blood smelled sumptuous, but I wasn't all that hungry. The bear had the same amount of blood as two men and so I was able to resist temptation.

From the joy of my discovering came one blow. I could never let myself have the sweet satisfaction of human blood. I would never be all the way full, and my cravings would never quite be satisfied in the same way again, but it was worth it. I couldn't help jumping for joy a little at the sight of a society I would be able to live in, maybe even for more than a few weeks.

"Well look at that, Jasper, you were right, someone _is_ very excited," a voice chuckled from behind me.

I knew that they weren't human because I couldn't smell their blood. They had to be vampires. I turned around to face them.

Apparently all vampires were naturally beautiful. Their beauty though, was slightly altered by the crescent shaped scars that covered each of them head to toe like a pattern on the coat of an animal. It was obvious they had been in a lot of fights, and that made them slightly scary, but everything else about them seemed to negate that.

There were three of them, two men and a woman. One of the men had blonde hair and had a smile that seemed to match my inner joy. The other man had hair even lighter than the first man's, it seemed to be nearly white, his eyes were curious and his arm was wrapped around the woman, who was obviously his girlfriend. There wasn't a ring on either of their fingers so I assumed they weren't married. The woman's hair was long and straight, the same light-blonde color as her boyfriend's. Where they truly differed was height, he was rather tall, and she couldn't have been more than five foot one. Although her eyes seemed kind, she was looking at me with a mixture of confusion and laughter. I realized that I must look a mess again.

"Hello," the blond man smiled. His smile was strangely calming to me. He had to be Jasper because his voice was not the one I had heard earlier. "My name is Jasper Whitlock and these are my friends Peter and Charlotte. May I ask your name?"

Peter was eyeing me curiously, he obviously didn't see me as a threat, but there was something he was interested in.

"I'm Clara…Clara Finley," I said unsurely. I had wanted to tell the world about my discovery, but now that I had an opportunity I wasn't so sure.

"I saw you were just excited about something…may I ask what it was?" Jasper asked. The way he asked it just made me want to tell him, he seemed so inviting.

"Well, I was just lost in that forest for…um this is embarrassing…two years, and this morning I hadn't eaten for five months…"

Charlotte gasped quietly.

"This morning I, um," I didn't want to tell them about my hallucinations. Those were private, "came across a bear, and it was amazing! The blood was almost exactly the same as human blood. The only difference was in taste!"

"Are you sure it wasn't just because you were starving?" Peter asked skeptically, but the curiosity remained in his burgundy eyes.

"Yes, after drinking the bear blood I was able to easily find my way out of the forest I had been utterly lost in for months after I decided I wanted to leave it."

"Well that's quite a discovery," Jasper chuckled.

"But I don't think we'll be joining you for a meal of bear anytime soon," Peter finished.

"Why not? Don't you realize what this means? We don't have to kill people! There's another option!" I said.

Why didn't they understand? Did they like to kill people? Did they find it amusing or fun in any way? I used to always hate every aspect about feeding except for the relief it provided and the taste of the blood, and while there was no substitute for the taste of human blood, there was another way to obtain the relief and strength we needed to survive. People like Robert and Stella and Linda and the people at the church didn't have to suffer, to die for our comfort. How could they scoff at something like that? Human life was fragile and beautiful and precious. How did they get off choosing to kill people? I started to cry just thinking about it.

"I think it's great," Charlotte said, coming closer and hugging me. I saw her shooting a glare at Peter. "I'm sorry my companions haven't any sympathy, especially you Jasper, I'm disappointed."

"Well I know _now_," Jasper said sadly. "I'm sorry for my comments; I didn't know they would affect you so strongly."

Both of them glared at Peter.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off like that," he mumbled.

Charlotte smiled. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up and you can tell us all about it."

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**I'd like to thank Shelby, Megan, and my faithful reviewers! I'll try to keep posting daily! I hope you liked it! **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again! Well, not much to say so I'll get on to it. I don't own Twilight. I don't own Clara. **

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Chapter 7.

Now that I was fed and clean and in a clean dress I borrowed from Charlotte I felt so much better. After a hot shower I was going to attempt to take a brush to my hair which was now not only tangled from natural causes but also from shampooing. This was going to take forever.

I started on the left side, it nearly as futile as trying to comb through the undergrowth when I was hungry. Every time I got through a tangle five more appeared.

"Here, let me do it," Charlotte said, taking the brush and sitting behind me.

"You…you don't have to," I said. It had been awhile since I had been around people, but that didn't mean I had forgotten my manners.

"No, it's okay," Charlotte smiled. "This should be a fair challenge. Besides, as much as I love Peter and Jasper, it's nice to have another girl around."

Her hands were as soft and gentle as butterflies' wings as they attempted to untangle my hair.

We were all sharing a hotel room. When Jasper only asked for one room, and with two twin beds, the receptionist looked at us strangely. Oh, the thoughts that must have been going through her head. Luckily we didn't have to sleep and therefore didn't have to split the beds.

"So Clara," Peter started. He was very curious, always asking all sorts of questions. "How did you come to be in the woods?"

"One day I just got tired of killing people, so I decided I wouldn't eat, and to remove myself from temptation I went into the deepest part of the woods," I told him, definitely oversimplifying the story.

Peter seemed to see that. "You just up and decided not to eat?" he asked

"Well think about it," Jasper said. "If we hadn't been 'born' to kill don't you think we would have become guilty at our lifestyle earlier on? Do you not think we would have been shamed into doing the same if we were not so used to regular drinks? You're a young vampire aren't you?" Jasper asked.

"Three years I think, a little over three years. Two of those were in the woods though."

"Yes, you are a very young vampire. Your attitude is very mature for someone who's only been exposed to human blood regularly for a year."

"Well, I traveled with an older vampire, the one who turned me in fact. His name was Randall Harris."

Charlotte nodded, working on my right side. "Yes, I think we've met him once or twice before, always very nice, very willing to share his territory."

"Did he turn you as a companion? I've never heard of that before," Peter continued to question.

That was the most horrible thing I'd ever heard of. Why would someone be so cruel as to purposely subject someone to this form? Randall turning me was an accident and his turn was an accident too. What would make anyone turn another human being on purpose?

"No," I finally said. "He was feeding on me but he was interrupted and he didn't kill me in time."

"I see," Jasper said, nodding. "We were turned in the mid eighteen-hundreds by a vampire named Maria. You see, at that time there was a thing called the Great Vampire Wars. In the Southern United States the vampires are very territorial, and at that time prominent vampires would create others to form mass armies of newborn vampires to battle each other."

"That's awful!" I exclaimed, almost jumping off the bed. That must have been where all their scars had come from.

"When they had passed the first year and their newborn strength depleted, it was the job of Peter and I to…kill them."

I gasped. That was worse than turning someone for eternity, to merely expose them for the first year of pain and misery only to kill them as soon as it let up.

Peter continued the story. "Then I met Charlotte, and I knew I didn't want to live this way anymore. When her first year passed I knew what we'd have to do to her, and I just couldn't do that. I was in love with her. So the three of us ran away together and we've been roaming like this ever since."

"Do…do they still have vampire wars?" I asked.

"No, the Volturi found out and put a stop to it. We were lucky to leave when we did. They killed everyone who was involved," Charlotte said softly. "There we go, all finished," she said, handing me back my brush. "Men, they never realize the hassles we have to go through to keep ourselves looking decent," she chucked.

"Speaking of the differences between men and women…how…how are you pregnant? Charlotte and I have always wanted children, but we thought it wasn't possible." Peter asked.

"I was pregnant when I was turned."

"Oh, so you won't be having the child?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head sadly, but strangely I felt feelings of comfort. "You know," I said. "Up until now I've been miserable over it, but now I feel at peace."

"That would be Jasper," said Charlotte. "That's his power; he can manipulate people's emotions."

"And I also feel the emotions of everyone around me," Jasper added. "I'd rather you be peaceful than depressed about it for both our sakes," he chuckled.

I remembered Randall telling me about powers. They usually represented something about the vampire from when they were a human. I wondered what that meant about Jasper. Sometimes I'd wondered if I had a power, but Randall always told me that if I had one I would know, and I wasn't sure, so I guessed not. Still, how I knew the pregnant woman was pregnant was a mystery, and I was sure that when I was a human that plants didn't grow as fast as they did now. I just didn't know.

Later that night, Peter and Charlotte were cuddled up together on one of the beds and had begun kissing a little more than I was comfortable with watching.

"How about we go to the cinema and give the lovebirds their privacy?" Jasper asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

I hadn't seen a movie since several months before I was turned although I remembered loving to go when I was human. "That sounds fun," I said, grabbing my purse. I was ready to get out of there.

When we reached the theatre, we decided to see _The Day the Earth Stood Still_. It was a good movie, very suspenseful and the effects were some of the best I had seen. Because it was the last show of the night, we were the only ones in the theatre and I was able to enjoy the movie without being distracted by the scent of human blood. Afterward Jasper and I walked around the town some because Jasper said Peter and Charlotte might not wind down until the morning. I hoped they didn't do this often. Not that I didn't like being out with Jasper, just that I'd like to be able to stay inside for a night. I'd missed the indoors during my time in the woods.

The night was beautiful. The streetlights were out and you could see the stars strewn across the sky like seeds in a farmer's field. As we approached the woods lightning bugs flashed their yellow-green light across our path.

"So tell me more about yourself, Jasper."

"Well, what is there to tell? I've been wandering around like this for the past hundred or so years, before that I was in the army. Fought for the South in the Civil War since I'm originally from Texas. I have to say, your thing with animals, it would solve a lot of problems for me, I mean, I absolutely hate taking down my prey because I can feel their emotions as I kill them. Many are afraid, some angry, some even feel regret or sorrow. So in some ways, feeding is as excruciating as it is relieving. Animals would help with that. If they have emotions I can't feel them, but I just don't think I could do it."

"Why not?" I asked. I was calmer about it now, part of it being Jasper's influence and the other part the fact that I had calmed down with time and could now see things more reasonably.

"I've been drinking human blood for a hundred years, many of those without inhibitions, and I think I'm too used to it to give it up. You though, should definitely try it. If it works you could show other, younger vampires."

"I hope so. I know how you feel about killing people. I either killed or scared off my entire family. I just can't help but think what the repercussions of my actions might be. I mean, we _kill_ people. You know what I think? I think it's not to late for you. I bet if you tried you could learn to live on animals."

Jasper shrugged. "I'd like to; I just don't know if I have the will to. You know what I mean? I think Peter and Charlotte feel the same way about it. Charlotte might go hunting with you sometime, but that's just Charlotte. I just don't want you to get disappointed if it doesn't work out with us."

A drunk stumbled by, his thumb up in the hitchhikers' position. He slurred something at me and although I couldn't understand his words I knew he was attempting to flirt.

"It helps me to choose people like that. It makes me feel like I'm not hurting society as much, you know?" Jasper said, lowering his voice, not that the drunk could hear him. "There are upsides too. I use my power to defuse bar fights a lot. Sometimes, if I come across a mugger, I scare him silly, showing off my abilities until he promises to give up his life of crime. That always gives me a sense of twisted satisfaction. Well Clara, we better be headed back, the sun is almost up and it looks like it's going to be sunny today."

We walked back to the hotel, taking the back roads as the sun rose and our skin glittered red and pink due to the colors of the sunrise, but not so much that we would have to hide lest someone see us.

"It was nice going out with you this evening m'am," Jasper said as we approached the room. Now I saw him being from Texas. He took my hand and kissed it.

"Such a southern gentleman," I laughed. If I had thought it were anything but the way he was raised I would have thrown a fit at it, but I was growing to like Jasper, and it wasn't just his power talking. Even if they never took up animal eating I could see myself traveling with him, as well as Charlotte and Peter for a while.

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**Hee hee hee, waiting for reactions ;). Not even Shelby knows what's going to happen next! Muahahahaha! Hope you enjoy! **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! Okay, disclaimer! I don't own Twilight, I don't own Clara.**

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Chapter 8.

"Guess what?" Charlotte said as soon as we walked into the hotel room. Apparently she and Peter had finished some time ago as the room was just as neat and tidy as when we had left it.

"What?" I asked. She had a sparkle in her eye which made me interested about what she was going to say.

"We're going shopping!" Peter said with mock enthusiasm.

"Why?" I asked.

Charlotte looked me over. "Because you can't wear that dress forever and it'll be easier to get you new clothes than to try and get the stains out of your old dress. Unless you're particularly attached to that dress I'm going to throw it out. It's filthy and worse it has bear blood on it."

"Okay…you can do that," I said unsurely. I was glad we were going to get clothes though. Charlotte's dress was short on me and it was a little uncomfortable. Then I realized something. "Wait, I don't have any money."

Charlotte laughed. Vampire laughs were so pretty, like bells ringing through the air. They made me so happy inside. "You don't need any, you're with us now! Jasper and Peter will occasionally get an odd job here and there and not having to pay bills or taxes or buy food or drinks cuts a lot out of costs. By the way, Jasper, we need to remember to get her some papers too."

I had to accept their money; it wasn't like any of my own. Still, I offered to pay her back when I had it.

"Clara, we all share out of the same pot and you're not going to pay me back. Now are you ready to go or not?" Charlotte said impatiently.

"I guess so."

Then we all left the hotel room and headed to the store. The lady at the front desk eyed us suspiciously again and muttered under her breath.

"Hey Charlotte," Jasper said, there was mischief dancing in his eyes.

"What're you thinking?" Charlotte asked knowingly.

"You know what would be fun?"

"According to you I don't."

"While we're shopping you should pretend to have a gutter mouth." **(A/N: Being a gutter mouth in the 1940s and 50s would be different than being a gutter mouth today, especially for a woman, just so you aren't confused)**

Peter and I laughed at the prospect.

"No! That's ridiculous!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Well if you two are going to have fun Peter and I may as well get some enjoyment out of it too," Jasper argued.

"I think you should do it," Peter said with a grin on his face. "Besides, I was the one who had to act foolish last time."

"We like to shake up the normal routine by having one of us do something that causes others to stare."

I personally wished she wouldn't do it, and for a while I thought she wasn't going to, but finally Peter talked her into it. This was going to be interesting.

We walked into Sears and I felt a feeling of dread come over me as Charlotte gave me a weak smile and a one-sided shrug.

"Stay right there. I'll be right back," she said, walking back into the women's section.

When she came back it was just what I had feared.

"I tried to estimate your size! But I couldn't find it in anything! Sorry!" Charlotte said, obviously disappointed.

"Did you try the maternity section?" Jasper asked.

The look on Charlotte's face turned from disappointment to embarrassment. Jasper raised his eyebrow. Charlotte glared at him.

"Shit," she said, just loud enough for people to overhear her. It turned a few heads. "I'll go look. Come on Clara."

We followed her into the maternity section where there were many mothers and their young children.

Peter grinned. "This'll be fun," he whispered to Jasper.

Again Charlotte told us to stay where we were, probably so she wouldn't get those raised eyebrows from Jasper, and went walking off at a human pace into the maternity section. Later she came with about five things to try on. I was surprised to find that everything she brought me fit even though I never once told her a size.

"Well come out and show us!" Charlotte called through the dressing room door. I'd tried everything on first to make sure it all fit and was now changing back into the dress I'd worn to the store, so I had to get out of that one and pick another one to change back into. Even with vampire speed it was difficult to get in and out of things because of the baby belly that still made it hard to reach below my waist.

"I'm stuck!" I finally had to call out to Charlotte.

"Well let me in damn it," Charlotte laughed. Apparently she was still subject to the gutter mouth game. I could imagine the horror of the mothers trying to shop with their young children.

I reluctantly let her in the dressing room and picking, as well as putting on a dress was so much easier. When we finally came out Jasper and Peter were leaning against the wall like a couple of beatniks.

"You look very nice," Jasper smiled.

I muttered a thank you and almost ran back into the dressing room. Yes, I could still be painfully shy sometimes.

Every time it went like that. I tried on something with Charlotte's help, we went out to show it to the guys, Jasper said something nice about whatever I was wearing, and I went back into the dressing room.

After about the fourth outfit Charlotte gave Peter a wink. I wondered what that was for.

"Jasper you bastard!" Charlotte exclaimed rather loudly. "Why don't you ever compliment me like that?!?"

Jasper looked confused. "I didn't know you'd want me to, and I'm pretty sure Peter wouldn't. I can start if you'd like, but only if you can keep Peter from skinning me alive."

"Excuse me!" one of the mothers huffed as she made her way over to us. She was a little heavyset and had wire rimmed glasses. She was definitely one of the older people in the section. "I don't know where you think you are, but you better put a lid on that mouth before I call security!"

"I'm sorry ma'm," Peter said, brining out his Texan drawl. "My wife was raised on the range by cowboys with mouths dirtier than sailors'. She doesn't know any better."

"That's still not an excuse!" She then turned and glared at Jasper and I. "I certainly hope you don't let your child around such company."

"It appears we already have," Jasper chuckled.

"You ought to feel better knowing we'll be going back to Texas in a few days," Peter said smoothly.

The woman didn't seem pleased but left anyway.

Peter and Jasper laughed hysterically, but not within human earshot, and there was a big grin on Charlotte's face.

"Good thing we all ate yesterday, that woman's heart was going a million beats a minute," Peter gasped. "By the way, Clara, any side effects from your bear yesterday?" he asked.

I shook my head no. I felt just as fine as if I had had human blood. I was upset that we upset that lady. She was just doing her shopping while we were acting like drunken fools. I had the distinct feeling that Robert would have enjoyed it though. He was always one for practical jokes. I could almost hear his laughter ringing in my head and feel his arms around my shoulders as he told me to lighten up and live a little.

We finally settled on three dresses since I'd have the room in my suitcase for them once we took the majority of the items for the baby to the Salvation Army.

The first one was a solid pink dress with a little jacket you could take on or off depending on where you went or the weather outside. The second one was similar except for the pattern. It was blue plaid and had a white bow near the collar. The third one was my favorite though. It was an off-white color with a pretty floral pattern and the sleeves tied up at the shoulders, making it much easer for me to put on, not having to mess with a zipper on the back. It was my favorite because I used to have one like it before I was turned and Robert always said it was his very favorite dress.

We also got some shoes because mine were falling apart. I was happy to see that I had regained the ability to walk in heels with my new form.

"Jasper really thinks you look lovely," Peter whispered to me as we checked out and left the store. The sales lady glared at us as she checked us out. Apparently she had heard about Charlotte.

"I know, he said so," I replied. I couldn't help but think that Peter was trying to get us together. It was flattering yes, but I really didn't want a relationship with anyone and I could only see Jasper as a friend. It was okay if people thought we were together, I had learned to get used to that when I was with Randall, but I was still in love with Robert and I didn't want anything else to materialize, at least not for a while. I knew that he would have wanted me to move on, but because I had eternity it was too soon.

"You know…" he started.

"Peter, I like Jasper but only as a friend, I'm still recovering from the loss of my husband and I'd like you to respect that."

"Clara, I was just going to say that I'm glad Jasper has someone to wander around with when Charlotte and I get a little too romantic."

"Oh, okay," I said, but I didn't really believe him. I just didn't want an argument.

"Come on, Clara!" Charlotte called. I hurried to catch up with her. I had no idea where we were going next.

"We're going to get your papers," Charlotte explained.

"Don't be surprised if you get a feeling of fear," Jasper added. "It's the only way I can get the paper work without being found out by the government.

We walked up to what looked like an office building. "I have an appointment with Mr. Monroe," Jasper said quietly. It was very mysterious sounding, like the hero of a spy movie or something.

"Oh, yes, Mr. Whitlock. Mr. Monroe's waiting in his office, take the hall, turn left, and it's the third office to your right."

"Thank you very much."

Peter and Charlotte took a seat in the lobby as Jasper and I went back to Mr. Monroe's office. Apparently Mr. Monroe knew Jasper.

"H…Hello Mr. Whitlock, what can I do for you today? Would you like some coffee?" Mr. Monroe stuttered. The fear was obvious in his eyes. What had Jasper done to him?

Then I felt the same fear myself and remembered what Jasper had said earlier about getting the papers.

"I need some paperwork for this young lady here."

"Ah, I see, and would this be Mrs. Whitlock perhaps?"

Jasper thought about this for a second. "Would it be alright with you Clara? I mean, most people think we're married anyway."

It's only a name, I reminded myself. It's only a name. It doesn't mean anything. I nodded.

"I need a driver's license, social security card, insurance papers, the works, made out for Mrs. Clara Finley Whitlock."

We sat there as he worked, typing things out on his typewriter, occasionally asking me a few questions, some of which were obvious.

"Hair color?"

"Black."

"Eye color?"

"Burgundy," Jasper answered for me.

"Height?"

"Five feet, four inches."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-five." I was actually twenty eight now, but since I hadn't aged I couldn't pass for it well.

Thinking of that I realized my baby would be three. There wasn't a day I didn't think about her, but I never realized that she would be a jumping, running, laughing little girl by now. To help with the fear Jasper was emanating I imagined the joy I would have had playing with my little girl. I pictured her. Curly brown hair would be my guess, with Robert's playful green eyes and mischievous grin. She would likely be a handful, running around with her dolly, going outside and getting her dress filthy with dirt, but bringing me a flower she had found so I couldn't get too mad.

Strangely, these thoughts didn't make me sad, they made me happy. I was glad I could imagine. With that I imagined several other things. I imagined Robert coming home from the war to find his little girl happy and healthy. I imagined her laughter as he swung her up in the air and spun her around. I imagined summer cook outs with Stella and James (Stella's husband) and Christmases with Mom and Dad and Linda and Michael and Mary and Daniel.

Could it be? Could the one thing I thought would never happen be happening? Could I be recovering?

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**Hello, this was just a little fun chapter to ease the tension, hope you liked it! As you know, reading and reviewing are great! Thanks!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello my lovely readers! Congratulations to you! As of yesterday the number of hits on this story for this month exceeds the number of hits of my first story Solstice, which remains very well read despite the fact that it was completed months ago. Here is a chapter based off a book series I do not own using characters I do not own. :) **

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Chapter 9.

Wow. That was all I could think. Wow. I'd never been to the Pacific Ocean before, but it was amazing. The colors in the water were so many clear distinct shades of blue for varying depths it was hard to take in all at once. The sand, the waves, the jagged cliffs that plunged down into the sea; I had been to the Atlantic Ocean a few times with my family but it was so different from this. Both were beautiful of course, but this was like nothing I had ever seen!

"I take it you like the beach," Jasper grinned.

"I love it," I sighed.

It had taken us a year and a half, but we made it to the Atlantic ocean traveling by foot. I'd continued drinking animal blood, and as Jasper had predicted, Charlotte always accompanied me, but she only hunted with me the first few times before she apologetically explained that she just couldn't give up human blood. It was fine, I still loved her like a sister and Jasper and Peter were like the annoying brothers I'm glad I never had.

We'd been traveling up the beach for about six months, and even though we couldn't go out on sunny days we were still able to have fun on the beach on cloudy days and had seen dolphins and sharks and the most gorgeous beach sunsets, like they had been taken off a painter's canvas. I had started another photo album because of all the pictures I had taken when we first arrived.

Of course, Peter and Charlotte were often "swept away" in the "beauty of it" and Jasper and I had to spend many a night walking down the beach looking at shells and crabs and baby turtles or sometimes we'd go to the mountains so I could catch a mountain lion or a wolf or a bear.

Jasper wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I didn't mind as much as I used to. "It is beautiful."

I looked at him and smiled.

"Clara, I do believe your eyes have turned brown," Jasper said.

"What?!?!" I exclaimed. I dug in my purse for my mirror.

"Let me see!" Charlotte said, standing on her toes to get the best look. "I think he's right. Your eyes are definitely brown."

Finally I found my mirror and brought it to my face. They were right. My eyes were no longer the ruby color they had been for the longest time. I was fascinated. My eyes were the color of caramel, but why? All the other vampires had red eyes, when they got hungry they got darker until they turned black, but they were never this color. They almost looked human.

"How...how did this happen?" I stammered.

"I don't know," Jasper said softly. "I've never seen this before."

"Maybe she's turning back into a human," Peter suggested.

"I don't think so," I replied. "Everything else is the same, and besides, my eyes were blue."

"Oh. I still don't understand. Maybe it's her power? What's so different about her?" Peter asked.

"She drinks animal blood," Charlotte suggested. "Maybe it's the result of that."

"But animal blood is red too," I argued. How could blood the same color change anything?

"Maybe..." Jasper mused. "Because you are less of a threat to humans because of your diet, that's reflected in your eyes."

"Maybe," I said. We settled back down. There were so many unanswered questions we had about ourselves, but there were so few answers we left the questions alone and just listened to the waves crashing on the beach.

Later that night Charlotte and I had gone out to get soap and shampoo seeing as we were the only ones who used decent amounts of it and the hotels never supplied enough for four people. As we approached the room we could hear Peter and Jasper yelling at each other. They weren't loud enough to wake the neighbors, but we could hear them very clearly.

"Well look what happened to her! It's not normal Jasper!"

"What? Her eyes changed colors? Ooh I'm so scared! It's better than this unnatural red color! Don't you wish people didn't look at us like criminals as soon as they got close enough for eye contact?"

"No, I don't really care! They're just people, they don't matter!"

"They do matter! They all have these emotions, these strong, strong emotions! They have lives and families and they have a reason to live, not just because they can, but they have a real, strong reason which they fight for as we take their lives! They scream and they cry because they have something worth living for and when I take them down I feel their anguish, but I lack the reasoning behind it! I just can't take it anymore! I can't live like this!"

"Do you think you're the only one who doesn't like killing humans?"

"Of course not! That's how Clara figured it out! She didn't want to kill people and she did something about it!"

"You don't know what might happen to her because of what she eats! Sure, she's been doing it for a few years but that's nothing! That's nothing to us! What if she does turn back into a human one day?"  
"Then I'd be glad for her! She can get her baby out and get on with her life! Then I'll know it'll be worth it!"

"Well you take your chances; I'll be right here with the love of my life waiting for you."

"See! Even you have something worth fighting for! I either need to find someone of my own or go to Volterra and end it all!"

We had stopped at the door. Charlotte had a look of horror on her face. I'd never seen either of them so angry and by the look on her face Charlotte hadn't either.

I think Jasper felt our fear and realized we were outside, but Peter didn't have a clue.

"You do have people of your own! You have us! You have me, and Charlotte, and Clara. I think Clara would be very sad to see you leave."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about! I mean someone to love, to have and to hold for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. Like that! And will you get off of that! Clara and I will never become a couple! I don't love her! Now if you don't mind I think I'll be leaving and let the girls in."

The door flew open and Jasper stormed out.

"Jasper!" Charlotte called out after him. I couldn't say anything. I just watched him run down the hallway and out the door.

We just managed to get into the room before Charlotte broke down and started crying. I realized how strange I looked every time I cried. The face looked like it was crying and the appropriate sounds were made, but without the tears it just looked like acting. I held her, still in my state of shock, because she wouldn't have anything to do with Peter and Jasper wasn't there. She cried all night until about four or five in the morning. At that point she thanked me, but asked me to leave so she could yell at Peter. She said I should go look for Jasper, and that I did.

I combed up and down the beach as the sun came up, filtered by a cover of clouds as far as the eye could see. There was going to be a storm today. The wind was already kicking up sand. After I was about a mile from our hotel I spotted him, leaning against a deserted lifeguard stand. When I saw him everything I had been holding back broke loose. I screamed his name and ran into his open arms, sobbing. I didn't care how ridiculous I looked. I just wanted Jasper back.

"You aren't really going to leave are you?" I asked.

"I have to. Like I said, I just can't take it anymore. No offense to you guys, you're like family to me, but well, let's just say that even right now you're blowing me over with emotion. I can hardly think for myself. If it makes you feel better, I'm going to try and give up human blood and try animal blood like you said. You know, go off into the woods with my tent and just be alone for a while, not have to put up with anyone else's emotions."

"But you will come back?"

"I can't say, I guess it depends on what I find out there, but I'll write you even though neither of us have addresses, I'll write you and when we meet again, because chances are that within eternity we'll see each other again, I'll give them to you. Okay?"

I nodded. What other choice did I have? He was going to leave whether I liked it or not.

The rain started to pour and the wind started to howl; we were soaking wet but we didn't care.

"Peter's not too angry is he?" Jasper asked.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I bet he is, but you know how Peter is. We all thought you were coming back. Charlotte's screaming at him right now, now that she's finished crying."

"I feel terrible. Tell her I'm so sorry for upsetting her like that, but really, I'm glad I wasn't there. It would have been the worst thing for me really. I'm sorry for upsetting you too."

"I love you Jasper," I said with the faintest hope it would keep him with us. Who was going to walk around with me when Peter and Charlotte got involved with each other now? Who was going to be there with a little boost of happiness for me when I was feeling down? Who was going to even out Peter's temper? I'd miss Jasper so much.

"I love you too, you know that. I was just angry at Peter when I said that. I love you, I'm just not in love with you, and I know you know exactly how I feel."

I did. I wouldn't change a thing about the way we felt about each other, even if it would keep him with me. I still wouldn't date in respect for Robert's memory, and Jasper didn't need the baggage that was me. It wouldn't even be like we would be able to kick Charlotte and Peter out for a change because of the baby.

I didn't know how long we stayed out there, but we did, we just stood under the lifeguard stand until the storm let up.

"I guess you need to head on back," Jasper said.

I looked at him sadly.

"The sun's going to be coming out soon and we don't want to be caught sparkling now do we?" he asked, lifting my chin so I would look him in the eyes. "Clara I promise I will write every day, and that when you see me again, I'll have those same brown eyes as you."

"Thank you," I whispered. "Goodbye Jasper."

And in a flash he was gone.

I trudged back to the hotel, eventually having to break out into a jog as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds.

"Well did you find him? Where is he? Is he okay?" Charlotte asked the moment the door showed signs of movement. I couldn't say anything. The room seemed so empty without Jasper there.

"Clara, say something," Peter begged. I could tell he was just as sorry as Jasper about this whole thing. They had the same look in their eyes.

I shook my head as the words came out as a cracked whisper. "He says he's sorry he upset you Charlotte, and he's sorry he fought with you Peter, and he said he loves me even though he's not in love with me. He said we were like family to him, but none of that stopped him. He said he had to be alone. I tried to stop him, I did, but he's gone."

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**Thank you for your reading and reviewing, it's really quite great! I'd also like to thank Shelby and Megan for their continual help on this and all my other stories. Speaking of Shelby and Megan you should go check out their stories (see ravenclawblonde1428 and twilight-chick-92). I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey! Well, my announcements will go below, so here you go, don't own Twilight, don't own Clara.**

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Chapter 10.

It was just Peter, Charlotte and I. It would be that way for the next twenty years and I would miss Jasper every day. We each received a letter from him about a year after he left, but none after that. Mine read this:

_Dear Clara,_

_Am I in the woods? No, but I have given up human blood for the most part. I've actually met a coven of animal drinkers. You would like them. The father of the Coven is Carlisle Cullen, a vampire who was turned during the middle ages and learned about animal blood just as you did. He is a very kind man, in fact, he is a human doctor! Imagine! He has to be around human blood all day! He says he has resisted for so long he is no longer tempted. I hope the same comes to you. Carlisle says that your brown eyes are a result of your drinking animal blood, but that will be the only change you will see. Everyone in the coven has brown eyes. They are the color of liquid gold just after they eat and darken as they get hungrier until they reach black. As I expected it is far harder for me than the others who have either had limited exposure to human blood or have not had it at all._

_In addition to Carlisle are his wife Esme, his "sons" Edward and Emmett, and Rosalie, Emmett's wife and Carlisle's "daughter" (all of these he turned, but only on the brink of death)._

At this point I was thinking two things. First, how could he claim he didn't want to be around people because of the emotions, and then go and join another coven? A larger coven at that! Second, how could Carlisle be so good in regards to drinking animal blood, and even healing humans, and yet turn so many? Even on the brink of death it is not acceptable. Death is better than being a vampire right? But if that were so why had I not gone to Volterra and had myself killed yet? I shook my head and read on as if my answers would lie further on in the letter.

_I have also done the second thing I set out to do. I have found the love of my life. Her name is Alice and she is what allows me to exist amongst so many vampires. I actually met her the day I left you and despite all the sadness and hurt I was feeling she shone through the darkness like the beacon of a lighthouse. _

_Because I do not have a proper picture for you I will describe her in great detail. She is very short, about the same height as Charlotte; she's very much like a pixie or fairy of some sort in the way she moves, so graceful, yet full of energy and spirit. She already has the brown eyes of the other Cullens as she has not had an accident since we came to them. Her hair is a little darker than yours, short, and kind of spiky, but she can't remember why this is. She can't remember anything from before she was a vampire. Still, even in her gloomiest mood she is a ray of sunshine to me, even if she is a bit of a pistol. _

_The other thing about Alice is that she can see the future. It is her gift. This is how I knew where to send these letters to as she saw you moving into this residence and receiving the letters. She says the future is constantly changing as people change their mind about things, and that nothing is absolutely set. You may not even get this letter which would sadden me, but I am writing another copy to give to you in person in that case. Also enclosed in here are your documents, redone to fit your original name as I am no longer posing as your husband, and also to fit your eye color._

_In regards to your baby, Carlisle says that he would have you come up here and take it out, but he doesn't know how he would do it. He's been testing metals ever since I told him about you, but none of them cut vampire flesh, so we will have to continue to wait. If he does find something, I will come find you and bring you here. I think you would like it a lot, everyone is very nice and we all get along well. _

_Well, Alice is calling me now. Something about I have to tell her how she looks on some outfit. As if I'll say anything besides that she looks beautiful. I hope you're well and having a good time with Peter and Charlotte and that they haven't driven you crazy yet, haha. I miss you and I'll continue to write you everyday, but I'll just save the letters since you'll be moving around a lot. If you stay in one place write me (the address is on the envelope, we don't move around a lot). By the next time you see me my eyes will be brown like yours, I promise!_

_Love,_

_Jasper _

After reading it three or four times to make sure it was all true, I carefully folded the letter again and put it back in the envelope. I took that and tucked it in my first photo album. The other albums were pretty, they had me and Charlotte and Peter in them, but none would be as special as my first one with Linda, Stella, and Robert.

His letter gave me so much to think about. Could this Carlisle Cullen really take my baby out? Would I even want him to take my baby out? It had been a part of me for so long. It would be nice to be around vampires who had the same tastes as me though. Charlotte rarely accompanied me on my hunting trips now and I spent far more time alone, between being excommunicated from the hotel room and hunting, than I had before. Of course, we met other covens. We had been almost everywhere in Charlotte's eagerness to show me the world. They were mostly nomads like us, but there were a few places where they were set up, Volterra, Romania, Egypt, Ireland, but none of the vampires I met drank animal blood. The only vampires I knew of that did were the elusive Cullens, who we never seemed to run into, and a coven in Alaska many referred to as the Denali clan as they asked me which coven I was from.

Each time they asked it became increasingly clear. I was not from a coven. First I had been with Randall, and we were nomads. I was currently with Peter and Charlotte, we were nomads. I realized a longing I hadn't noticed, a longing to call one place home for more than a few days, to settle down somewhere and stop living in hotels, at least for a while, to not have to hide from the humans because of my thirst. Yes there were occasionally humans who were so alluring that I would have lunged at them immediately had it not been for Charlotte and Peter holding me back, but those were becoming increasingly rare.

Still, that wouldn't be possible because of the baby. I looked as incredibly pregnant as I was before I was turned. People were always asking me when I was going to have her, even vampires. Because Jasper was no longer with us, I had to make up stories of where the father was. Usually, since our alibi was usually that we were travelling, my excuse would be that I had gone to visit them and that we were travelling to my home where my husband was. If we were asking for something, I told them the father had died, which was true, to gain their sympathy.

As ultrasounds became increasingly common people wanted to know what gender the baby was so they wouldn't call her "it" and enrage me (not that I would be enraged). Usually, because I believed so myself, I said the baby was a girl and that we were going to name her Christine. I picked Christine because that was Robert's favorite name, and we would have likely named her that anyway. For a boy we likely would have gone with Liam. The vampire named Liam that we had met in Ireland liked this a lot; he was convinced the baby was going to be a boy.

Every once in a while I thought about what she might be doing were she still alive. Once she was going to her first day of kindergarten, then she was having a sleep over with her friends, then she was going off to high school and Robert was teaching her to drive, she was dating boys and going to school dances, and then she was going to college. In some of my daydreams she had even gotten engaged and married! Not in real life. In real life she was still a little baby, not even born yet, frozen that way for twenty-three years years. Twenty-three years is quite some time for a human, and yet for me, for her, it was like nothing.

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**Okay, so I may or may not get a chapter up tomorrow as I've been a little busy lately. The next chapter will probably be the last for a while because I'll be out of town next week, but I will begin posting again as soon as I get back (this is good because I'm a little stuck plotwise). Well I hope you enjoyed it (if you did say so!)**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey readers! I know I said I might not post today, but by some stretch of fate I managed to finish the chapter so yay! Okay I think we all know about my lack of ownership of both Twilight and Clara. Let's get on with the chapter**

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Chapter 11.

We were on the way to the next hotel when we heard it, a fight in an alleyway.

"What should we do?" Charlotte asked.

From what we could hear there were three people, two of them were beating up the other pretty badly. There was blood in the air which roused Charlotte and Peter's hunger. I had eaten on the way as we were in a city now and there wouldn't be any big game for a while, but Peter and Charlotte were going to go hunting after we checked into the hotel.

"That blood smells pretty good," Peter said. "We should teach them a lesson no?"

"I don't see why not," Charlotte said. It was late at night and no one was out except us and them. "Clara, can you take care of the third guy for us, you don't have to drink his blood, but we don't need any witnesses, you know what I mean?"

"Sure," I sighed. I hated getting rid of the witnesses, yet that was the job assigned to me when I accompanied them on hunting trips.

First Peter and Charlotte went into the alley and got the two guys who were giving the blows. Once their screams were silenced I went and got the third guy. I could smell his blood before I got to him, he smelled like lilacs. I pulled him out of the alley and onto the sidewalk where there was more light. I was going to try and help him escape if I could.

"P…please, please don't kill me," he sputtered.

"Of course not, why would I do that?" I asked softly.

"I…I was just coming back from business," he started, ignoring my reassurance. "I wanted to get my wife some flowers since I'd been gone for two weeks and I was coming in so late, but on the way back to my car these two guys just came up and started beating me up, I think they were going to rob me once I was dead. Please don't kill me! I have to get home!"

"Okay, just let me take a look at you."

He was in pretty bad shape, a black eye, a busted lip, and his leg was broken. I was still trying to place where I knew his lilac scented blood from.

"Come on, let's find your car, we need to get you to the hospital." We passed the hospital as we came into town; it had been tempting to Peter and Charlotte. He was easy enough to support, but I had to try hard not to hurt him further.

"Wait!" he exclaimed as I tried to help him up. "We've got to bring those." He pointed at the squished bouquet of flowers on the ground. I picked them up and he was satisfied. "It's right there," he groaned. pointing to the car, the pain of his leg was starting to set in. I settled him in the back seat and he gave me his keys.

Once we were off the street he started asking me questions.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you're hurt."

"No, but why are you here? Have you been following me?"

"No, my friends and I just got into town and we heard the fight."

"But...why would you help me? You killed my mother."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I felt my grip on the steering wheel tighten. Whose mother had I killed? Was it the child of someone I had massacred at the church that day?

"You should. Twenty three years ago my mother died and you killed her. I saw you."

"It can't be...Daniel...Daniel Walsh?"

"That would be me, 'Aunt' Clara."

"Daniel, I'm so sorry about what I did to your mother, you don't know how much it killed me inside."

"I knew you weren't normal that night, I knew something had changed, but I didn't know you had become a demon."

I slammed on the breaks for a stop-light.

"Daniel Walsh, I don't know where you got such an idea but it is utterly incorrect, I am not a demon and I took absolutely no pleasure in what I did to your mother that night, in fact, it's haunted me ever since."

"Good, because your demon red eyes have haunted my dreams even since!"

"They aren't red anymore," I said, near to a whisper. I missed Linda, I wished she were here right now to calm her son down, to calm me down. "They're brown because I figured out how to stop myself."

"Alright," he sighed, I guess the pain finally got his tongue. "I guess you're helping me now. Can we just not talk?"

So we didn't say another word for the rest of the ride to the hospital, nor as they were wheeling him in, I claimed I didn't know him and let him give his phone number so they could call his wife. Still, he was my nephew and I loved him and felt sorry for him, and he was likely the last I would knowingly see of my family, so I stayed in his room and waited for his wife to come.

"You can go if you want," he finally mumbled once they had gotten the morphine into him, you could tell he was a little loopy from it.

I put my hand on his. "I'm not going anywhere until your wife gets here."

"Okay," he sighed. "I guess I was a little harsh on you, I mean, I know you didn't mean to do it," his speech was becoming a little slurred with the drugs too. "You've always been my favorite aunt."

"I'm your only aunt." It was true, I was Linda's only sibling and Michael had two brothers, neither of whom had married last time I was there.

"No, I like you better than the girl Uncle Freddy married. She still makes me eat lima beans when we come to visit."

I chuckled. I guess at least one of Michael's brothers got married.

"He's right in here," I heard the nurse say. A slight woman with a sleeping toddler in her arms came into the room.

"Hi, you must be Daniel's wife," I smiled.

"Hi, I'm Jill; you must be the woman who saved my husband's life. Thank you so much," she smiled, hugging me. At that moment I felt two lives, I knew she was pregnant, the information shot through me like bolt of lighting, and I just knew it. I looked down at her stomach, there were no signs of pregnancy, but just from that touch I knew she had to be pregnant.

"Honey, this is my Aunt Clara," Daniel mumbled.

Jill laughed.

"He's a little loopy on the pain medication I guess," I shrugged. "My name is Clara though."

"That's likely why he thinks you're his aunt; he did have an Aunt Clara. From what pictures I've seen she looks a little like you too, so that's probably where he got it," Jill explained.

Or it could be because I am his Aunt Clara, I thought to myself, but it was just for fun, I wouldn't let it slip.

Jill finally went over to Daniel and kissed his forehead.

"I got you those Honey, it was supposed to be a surprise," he said, lazily pointing to the beat-up bouquet of flowers sitting on the bedside table.

"Aw, thank you! That's so sweet of you," she said as if she were talking to a child. In his state I guess she was. "Well, I was going to wait a little bit, but I'm going to tell you now. I'm pregnant." She kissed him again.

"That's wonderful!" He took her hand. "Did you hear that Aunt Clara? I'm going to be a Daddy again!"

I nodded and tried to smile. I was right. How was I right? How did I know she was pregnant? It wasn't that I could hear the extra heartbeat. Now that I was listening for it I could, but that wasn't how I knew. . It was crazy. I pretended to accidentally brush against Jill again, and the same jolt came to me. How was this happening?

"Oh, Aunt Clara, you haven't had your baby yet," Daniel noted in his half conscious state.

"No Daniel, no I haven't."

"Isn't that uncomfortable?"

"A little I suppose." It was true, I couldn't run as fast as the others, I could never fit into some of the spaces they did or crouch like them when I was hunting. Not to mention putting on clothes was still so much of a hassle. I loved my baby, I did, but she was just getting in the way. If Jasper called me up right now and told me that Carlisle could take the baby out today I would run to the other side of the world if I had to.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

"Again, thank you so much," Jill whispered before I left. "He means the world to me."

On the way out the police came up and questioned me. I told them that my friends and I had just gotten into town and when Peter and I went to get some food we saw two guys running out from an alley and one guy moaning in pain. I said that Peter went after the other two guys while I went to see if Daniel was okay. I gave them the number to the hotel (thank goodness I made the reservations this time), and they said they would call to get Peter's side of the story.

I needed to get back to fill Peter in on what our story was, so I walked back to the hotel. As I approached our room I heard it. Of course. Peter and Charlotte were making love again. Well it was too bad, they would have to wait. I banged my fist against the door.

"Who is it?" Peter said, obviously annoyed.

"I really don't care what you're doing in there; I will not wander around the street tonight."

"Okay Clara," Charlotte sighed. I heard them getting up and getting dressed, and finally the door opened. I glared Peter in the face.

"Come on, Clara, don't get all hormonal on us," he joked.

"You know very well I don't have hormones and you need to know that at some point the police will be calling to interview you about what happened tonight. We had just gotten to the hotel and we were going to get some food when we heard the fight going on and saw the two men leave the alley. You went after them and I went to see if Daniel, the third guy, was okay."

"Why'd you get to make up the story?" Peter whined.

"Because I already told it to the police man who stopped me outside the hospital."

"What? You took him to the hospital? Why didn't you just kill him? Do you know how much risk this brings to us?"

"Did you want me to just let him sit there and suffer? Or did you want me to kill him to put him out of his misery?" I spat.

"Either would have been fine, but now they know we're here, we're going to have to leave."

"They'll only hunt us down," I countered. "At least answer their questions, then we can go."

"What good will that do? They aren't going to find the criminals, only their dead bodies stuffed into the dumpster."

"You stuffed their bodies in the dumpster? Now that's not suspicious!" I yelled, I didn't mean to, but tonight was getting way too complicated. I couldn't have let Daniel die, or even just left him there, but it brought us all this trouble.

Peter took the call, but the police were suspicious about how we got into town. He said a friend drove into town and that we had walked to the hotel, but that only made the police more suspicious. Why had our friend let a pregnant woman walk almost a mile from where Peter said they dropped us off to the hotel? Peter said I was in very good shape and had run marathons before my pregnancy. Charlotte and I had to hold back our giggles for that one. The police were still not pleased. They said they were coming over.

"Look what you've done now!" Peter shouted, slamming down the phone. Charlotte looked at me sympathetically.

I shook my head. I couldn't deal with this anymore. I loved them, but I needed a break. I just needed a break from all of this.

We left the hotel before the police could get there. Once we were out of town we sprinted into the distance, but we sprinted in different directions.

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**Okay, so I hope you enjoyed the chapter. As I said last chapter I will be at the beach next week so I won't be posting for that week, but don't worry I'll still be brainstorming and writing hopefully I'll have several nice chapters for you when I get back :). Thanks for reading!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey! I'm back! :) Yes, I do have some chapters for you and I will try to continue to post often. Okay I don't own Twilight so you can get to reading.

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Chapter 12.

I decided that I would only be a nomad until I found either the Cullen or the Denali coven, so that I did. It took a few years, I'd go around looking for another vampire and when I found one I asked about the Cullens and the Denalis. _If_ they knew anything I would follow the tip, but usually they had either left by the time I got there, or they hadn't been there at all. At the pace I was taking, settling in a place for a few weeks as that was the most I could stay anywhere without the humans getting suspicious about the baby, then moving on to the next town, it took me about twenty years to finally find the Denali coven in Northern Maine.

They were living in a big blue house off the coast where clouds would often roll in so they could enjoy the beach which I guessed was why they picked the house. Traveling up and down the coast of California, Jasper, Peter, Charlotte, and I found it hard to find a day we could go outside due to the sun. We usually combed the beach and swam in the ocean at night even if the water was a little chilly. A shark had actually tried to bite me once after Jasper had left, but its teeth were shattered on impact.

I was almost afraid to go up and knock on their door, and the fact that I heard a flood Spanish when I did made me even more nervous. I had started to pick up a few languages, but they were mostly during our travels in Europe and we didn't spend much time in Spain. Charlotte wanted to take me to all the touristy sights first. After I left them I had been to poor to travel out of the country and hadn't had the need to speak anything but English, so even the little I learned was rusty. I hoped the Denalis spoke English.

The feeling I had was almost like when I had first learned that the sharks would likely be out when we were swimming. I was naturally afraid. I knew there wasn't any real reason to fear the Denalis or the risk of rejection, just like I knew there wasn't any real reason to fear the sharks, but I still felt it.

The door opened and a vampire with thick black hair and Spanish features smiled at me. "Hello, I am Carmen, welcome to our home."

"Hi, I'm Clara, I heard about your coven and..." I started.

"Oh, yes, it is true, we hunt animals, I bet you wanted to see...well look into my eyes." I did. They were brown just like mine, the milk chocolate color that appeared after a week or so of not eating. When she realized mine were the same she grinned sheepishly. "I guess that is not what you came about. Is there anything you would like? A hot shower, some new clothes, a meal perhaps? Eleazar knows exactly where the biggest animals are this time of year."

"That's all very kind of you and thank you, I'd like that very much," I smiled.

"Well please come in, our home is your home," Carmen said. I liked her, but then, this was the first time I'd been anywhere where the vampires lived permanently. I knew that I was much happier when I had a constant roof over my head and a place to sit.

There were several vampires in the living room. I was introduced to each of them. There was Eleazar, Carmen's husband who shared his wife's Spanish looking features, and three sisters, Irina, the oldest with chin-length hair about the color of Charlotte's, Kate, who looked much like her sister but was more outwardly cheerful, and Tanya, who looked to be no more than seventeen or eighteen and curly strawberry blonde hair. They were more than happy to welcome me. They had heard stories about me from other nomads I had come across and were curious about all sorts of things from how I ate to if the baby had been turned into a vampire as well. I answered their questions easily. They were the same ones I had been asked for the past forty-three years. There was one that tripped me up a little though.

"Will you be staying long?" Kate asked.

I had hoped to. I had hoped to join either the Denalis or the Cullens, and the Denalis were certainly nice, but I didn't want to impose.

"I'm not sure. I'd like to find a place to settle down eventually like you have here, but with the baby it is quite difficult as people are expecting me to give birth at any moment."

"Well, you are welcome to stay with us as long as you like," Carmen smiled. That was good, I was hoping for that.

"Thank you very much. That's very kind of you," I had noticed over the years that my speech had become more and more refined. I had stopped using slang altogether because when I used forties slang people stared at me and I could never keep up with the current vernacular. I had noticed it in other vampires, but never thought much of it until I noticed it happening to myself.

It had been a long time since I had had a hot shower. It had been a long time since I had been able to afford to stay in a hotel. There was a lot more money between four people working odd jobs than just one. The hot water felt so good as it washed away all the dirt. I had been sure to comb my hair at regular intervals while I was a nomad, so with some conditioner it was easy enough to handle. After I was clean and comfortable (no one wore my size obviously, but Carmen was nice enough to wash my current clothes), I rejoined the family for more questioning. The first one threw me off guard.

"What does the Volturi think of this?" Eleazar asked. He had obviously been think about this question for quite some time.

"I...I don't know, I've never seen the Volturi."

"Oh, that's not good," Irina muttered.

"Why?" I asked. They hadn't given me any trouble before and unless I was planning to move to the Italian countryside I didn't see any need to formally introduce myself.

"The Volturi can be very...picky...when it comes to what they think is right."

What would be wrong with me? I would think I would be less of a problem for them because I was an animal eating vampire who generally traveled alone and couldn't stay anywhere for extended periods of time because of my pregnancy. They couldn't be scared of my dead, unborn baby could they?

"Immortal children are punishable by death," Irina stated plainly as if that explained everything. I didn't even know what an immortal child was although I assumed it would be a child vampire as vampires could not have children. I had never seen one, but I had always thought that was because no one could be so cruel as to do that to a child and because children were small and didn't have as much blood as adults.

"I...don't see what you're saying," I said slowly.

"I assume you are familiar with immortal children," Eleazar said.

"Well, this is the first I've heard of them, but I get the concept, it's a child who is a vampire right?"

"Yes," Carmen replied, "but there's a little more to it than that. Immortal children are frozen in their bodies like we are, but they also cannot mature mentally from whatever age they were turned. At one time, thousands of years ago, there were several immortal children, every time one got hungry or upset in any way they would throw a tantrum. Their shrieks would pierce human eardrums and they would take out entire villages at a time. The reason they were not killed for this was because they were so pretty that it was almost like hypnotic. Once you saw an immortal child you could not harm it."

"Our mother," Kate picked up, "created an immortal child with out us knowing. This was when the Volturi outlawed them and began slaughtering them an their protectors. Our mother's child was found and killed, and our mother was killed with her."

Wow, thousands of years ago this happened. Vampires had been around for thousands of years. I had never really thought of that. It made my mere forty three years seem petty. I would likely still be alive if I were a still a human.

"I've only been a vampire for about forty-three years, but I don't think the baby is coming out. At least not naturally anyway. My friend Jasper wrote me saying Carlisle Cullen was investigating it, but that was over forty years ago."

"Jasper Whitlock?" Tanya asked. "So you know the Cullens?"

"No, only Jasper, we traveled together before he found them," I answered.

"Tanya has been in love with Edward Cullen for years, but he always turns her down," Kate explained.

"We consider them extended family," Carmen added.

Irina continued to glare at my baby belly. It was starting to make me nervous.

The conversation drifted lazily like the clouds floating in the Maine sky. We talked about the Cullens, other vampires we knew, how the Denalis had come to Maine, how each of them had been turned and found animal blood, how the Denalis had found each other. It was all very interesting and it took all night. The next day Elaezar took me hunting, showing me the nearby woods as well as the beach since it was a cloudy day and the beach was relatively empty. Ever cheerful Kate joined us and she showed me how I could get a rock to skip about twenty times before it sunk. She said on a lake you could get it to go clear to the other side.

"You know you're welcome to stay as long as you like, Carmen says she likes you a lot although that might be caused by the fact that you volunteered to help with the laundry."

I laughed. I would do all the laundry to stay there, but I still didn't wan to impose, I only knew them a day now. Eleazar had insisted I stay at least for the next few days so that we could work things out with the Volturi, but it would take a while before I felt like it would be okay for me to settle with them despite the fact that everything I had seen made me more sure of it. The shark teeth had shattered and I was no longer nervous. I knew that the Denalis would be kind to me, as long as I deserved it at least. The only thing I wished was that Irina didn't stare at my baby belly every time we were in the same room, but that was petty and a minor concern.

Soon though the sun began to shine and Kate and I had to go back inside.

Eleazar had gone back in some time ago, and when we got back he was at his desk with a sheet of paper and a pen. He called me over and explained that because the Volturi were so old, they much preferred letter writing to the "new" technology that was the telephone, and therefore he thought it would be best if he wrote them about me. He explained how careful we must be in our wording and how the Volturi could easily be mislead to believe that I would give birth to an immortal child, especially due to my young age for a vampire. "Let's begin."

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**Okay, well as always review and enjoy the story! Thanks!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey! I know this is a short chapter but the next one has a special surprise so here you go. No, I don't own Twilight.**

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Chapter 13.

_Dear Aro,_

_I hope things are well in Volterra as they are here in the United States. As you know there are many nomads here who are constantly on the move, going from one place to the next, making them rather hard to keep track of though rumors do spread. We had heard about a pregnant vampire from many, but the implausibility of this made us doubt its truth. Now though, we know it is true because she is living here among us. Clara Finely has been a vampire for forty-three years, and does indeed appear to be pregnant. She was eight months pregnant when she was turned, and this was not changed when she became a vampire. She does have a large stomach, but she says she believes the baby is dead, and that she will not give birth. I personally believe her because of the emotion she showed when telling the story of her first few years of a vampire, which led her to find animal blood much in a way like our dear friend Carlisle. She seems to be no danger at all and is in fact quite is quite pleasant and good at keeping herself inconspicuous. You are free to see for yourself though, and until we receive your reply, she has agreed to stay with us. We eagerly await your reply._

_Fondly,_

_Eleazar_

"Just a warning," Eleazar said as he signed his name. "The Volturi take their sweet time to reply, but you are welcome to stay with us until we hear from them. It may be years."

"Thank you," I smiled. I would enjoy being here for years. It would be nice to be in one place, with the same people, and more than just two. In fact there was only one couple here, and three others, two of which I would feel comfortable being around (Irina still scared me a little). Yes, let Aro take a thousand years if he wanted to, but I wasn't going anywhere.

Eleazar was right. It took exactly five years for us to get a response from Aro. I didn't know if it was because he was old, or if it was the fact that the Denalis had volunteered to keep me that took him so long to reply, but he did respond nonetheless and by that time I had easily become a part of the Denali clan. I had to stay in the house or on the property most of the time. I couldn't go into public for anything. They promised me more outside privileges if they moved to a bigger city where fewer people would recognize me, but in the beach town in Maine it was hard to be unknown. Hopefully we would be moving soon, as the locals were beginning to wonder how the Denalis never aged. They were already looking at places, Europe was a favorite, but Eleazar and Tanya wanted to go to Alaska. They said polar bears were very good although they couldn't hunt them often because they were an endangered species.

Almost everyone had taken me in eagerly, apparently their coven had not had a new addition for hundreds of years. Irina still glared, but she had never been anything less than civil. Kate was always telling me not to worry about it, she said Irina would come around in her own time. Meanwhile I had learned to speak Spanish almost fluently, I was now working on Italian, and I was getting better at the the piano. You had a lot of free time when you weren't constantly traveling and you couldn't leave the house.

One day, I was going out for the mail, they always let me get the mail because most days it was the only time I went out, and there was a letter with perfect script handwriting, similar to Eleazar's, but even more antique looking. It was addressed to Eleazar so I didn't open it, but the return address read Volterra, Italy, so I knew it had to be them.

"It's the Volturi," I said, handing him the letter. I was almost nervous to see what they said. Would they want to kill me just to be safe? From what Irina said they would, but everyone else had been more optimistic, even if it was just to make me feel better.

Eleazar smiled. "Thank you Clara."

I sat down in the chair beside him and read over his shoulder.

_Dear Eleazar,_

_We are all well here in Volterra and hope you and your family are the same. It has been far too long since we have seen each other, and I will be coming in a few weeks, just to see Clara and make sure what you say is the truth and she will bring us no harm. I trust you would tell us if it were anything otherwise, but we will be there soon. You are still at your Maine residence are you not? If you are not then we will find you elsewhere I suppose, though Ciaus wouldn't be very happy about that. Perhaps on your next move you will come to Italy. We would enjoy that very much. If all goes as planned we will be there in a few weeks._

_Fondly,_

_Aro_

"Well, considering the time it must have taken to send this letter from Italy to Maine, I wouldn't be surprised if he came within the week," Eleazar muttered after reading the letter. "No matter though, we have nothing to hide."

I knew this was true. Aro's power wouldn't be able to pick up any inconsistencies, and Eleazar was right, there wasn't anything for us to hide.

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**See, I told you, super short! Well, review if you please! Thanks!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	14. Chapter 14

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Heyo! Sorry this is a little late...and a little short, I didn't realize it was this short...unfortunately I did not spend the time trying to get the rights to Twilight, so I still do not own it.

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Chapter 14.

"They're coming!" Tanya said as she sprinted into the house. She had been out hunting, but apparently ran when she spotted them. Everyone flew into the living room.

"I thought we had nothing to hide," I said. This was slightly concerning.

"We don't, but it is best to be on our toes when they come around. It is very unwise to set them off in any way," Carmen explained.

So we sat there quietly for about half an hour watching the local news before there was a quiet rap on the door. Eleazar went to go answer the door.

"Aro! My old friend," Eleazar said warmly. "I would say it was a surprise, but judging by when we got your letter we were guessing you would be here soon. You certainly aren't one to go back on your word."

"That I am not," Aro said as he walked into the room. The others had described him, but it was hard to comprehend. He looked different from other vampires. Did that come with his age as a vampire or the age was when he was turned? Why was his skin so translucent when his eyes were so cloudy? How could he almost appear feeble when his ruby red eyes suggested otherwise?

There were others with him. Two vampires, similar in looks flanked him on either side, and a few shadowy vampires backed them. I guess the Volturi never went anywhere alone.

"And you," Aro grinned, "must be Clara."

"I am," I felt a little smile coming across my face. This wasn't scary. No, I felt like a little kid going to the doctor. On the way the looming unknown haunts you, but once the doctor comes in with his neat little tools you hardly mind.

"I am Aro, and these are my brothers Ciaus and Marcus. Behind them are Felix, Chelsea, Alec and Jane," each one nodded when named and Aro walked over and extended his hand. I knew what to do, they had told me many times about Aro's gift. I found it fascinating, yet frightening that someone could know every thought I ever had. I didn't even know every though I ever had. Cautiously I placed my hand on his. His face went blank for a second, but soon he smiled.

"You are quite curious and quite brave, but I do not see any evil intentions. To your knowledge there is no danger. Still, I must check the others, I don't know if you have a gift that may interfere with mine." Aro checked everyone else's hand too. "No, you are telling the truth. Every story matches."

It were as if a huge sigh of relief passed through the room.

"But..."

The atmosphere jumped to attention again.

"None of you knows everything, even I do not know everything, and until we know for sure that Clara and her child will not be a danger in any way, she must be watched. I trust that she will stay here for a while of course, but if she chooses she may stay in Volterra or with Carlisle and the Cullen clan. I don't truly trust any of the other clans, but if she would like to stay with them."

"Are you sure Aro? Is it not best that she stay in Volterra with us?" one of the flanking vampires asked.

"Oh Caius, she would be much easier to monitor in Volterra, but I think she would be miserable there and it would be cruel to imprison her if she is innocent, which she appears to be."

"The key word is appears," Caius argued.

"No, the key word is cruel, but we will let Clara decide."

All eyes turned on me. This was the intimidating part.

"If...if they wouldn't mind it I'd like to stay here," I stammered. Forty-eight years of being a vampire, seventy-three years on this earth, and I was still incredibly shy.

"Of course we wouldn't mind!" Kate grinned, wrapping her arms around me. "You've been living here for five years now, and I guess you're not that much of a bum."

Everyone except Aro's flanks laughed. They all knew that I had my heart set on pulling my own weight plus some.

"Then that's very good. I suppose we will be leaving, but there's one thing I'd like to ask you Clara, a sort of favor," Aro said.

"What is it?"

"May I touch your stomach? It could be a way to see if your baby is still alive, but I'm still unsure how my gift would work in your case, there's still a chance even if I come up with nothing."

Was he saying there was a chance that my baby was alive? If he wanted to try and answer a question I had been asking for years he was free to do it.

"Of course." I took his hand and guided it slowly to my stomach, letting it rest there for a minute before he took it off.

"I'm getting nothing but your memories," he said slowly, there was a slight disappointment in his face. "But it proves nothing. I'm touching your skin, and even if it were alive it may not have thoughts or memories that I could see yet."

"That's alright," I sighed.

"Aro," Eleazar said, it was obvious he wanted to change the subject. "Our family has been thinking about moving soon. What have you heard about Alaska?"

Aro smiled. "What I have heard about Alaska I have heard from you. It is cold and desolate and the bears there are good. I much prefer Italy, but I prefer Italy over any place, so if you are looking for adventure go there."

"Thank you Aro, I believe we will," Eleazar said.

"Do visit soon though, you are welcome any time. I trust you will give news if anything," Aro glanced at me, "important happens."

"Of course," Carmen quickly said.

Aro looked at the clock on the wall. "It seems everything is in order. We will go. There is a flight back to Italy in a few hours. We already have tickets."

"I'd be happy to drive you to the airport," Eleazar said.

"Thank you, that is a kind offer. We would appreciate that very much."

"There won't be enough room for all of you to ride in one car, I'll drive as well," Carmen said.

Caius and Marcus both looked at Aro who thought for a second and nodded. "Very well. Caius, Chelsea and Felix will ride with Carmen. The rest of us will ride with Eleazar."

Then we said goodbyes, fondly on the parts of all but Kate, Tanya, and Irina, who had been polite and civil, but not much more, and the Volturi filed out the door and into Carmen and Eleazar's cars. There were five cars in the driveway. The Denalis were not nearly as poor as I was as a nomad, partly because Alice Cullen gave them advice on the stock market, and partly because usually at least one of them worked. Obviously I didn't have a job, but I had put a little money into the stock market, just so I would have some should I decide to part from the Denalis. I didn't have a car either considering I didn't go anywhere, but enjoyed looking at the others' cars. They were all foreign cars, Lamborghinis, Porches, the like, and they were all very nice.

After the cars pulled out of the driveway and turned off of Maple Drive I went back inside, Kate, Tanya, and Irina were already back to business as usual. Tanya was studying God knows what, some quantum physics book Eleazar had brought her the other day. Irina had grabbed one of her many notebooks and was writing furiously in it, and Kate was looking through her CDs, my guess was that she was going to pick Bach or Mozart to listen to.

I went and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder. Out of the coven I was closest to Kate simply because she reached out to me the most. That was how I became best friends with Stella and how I had come to love Robert. They sought me out.

At that thought there was a knock on the door. I went to get it. One of the Volturi had probably forgotten something. I opened the door, but it was not the Volturi, nor was it Carmen or Eleazar. It was the one person I would have never expected to seek me out.

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**Hmmmmmm....I wonder who it could be............you'll just have to wait to find out! Hope you enjoyed the Volturi!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi readers! It's me posting again (sorry, I don't think I'll be able to get back to the everyday thing again, if it helps I've written some scenes for chapters to come). Well, still not owning Twilight and still not owning Clara.**

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Chapter 15.

We said the other's name in shock and surprise at the same time. "Well, come in," I finally managed.

It shouldn't have been that much of a shock. In the course of eternity it was certain we would meet again, but I didn't expect it to be so soon.

"I...I caught the scent of your coven, and I was wondering if you had somewhere for me to take a shower, maybe freshen up a little?" Randall said. It was obvious he was astounded as I was.

"Of course, it's upstairs, help yourself."

"Thank you," he said, hurriedly rushing up the stairs.

"Who was that?" Tanya asked, looking up from her book.

"That was Randall. He created me and I stayed with him for the first year of my existence," I explained.

"Oh," she said lightly as her hair fell back in her face and she went back to her book.

When he came down he was fresh and clean, the dirt no longer covered his face leaving it the normal pale color of vampires. He was wearing one of Eleazar's shirts that I had laid out for him as they were about the same size. It was a little small though and his muscles stood out against the fabric. I felt myself smiling at this.

"So Clara," he said, "I see you still have that bun in the oven."

"I do," I replied, rubbing my stomach, it had become nervous habit of mine. "The Volturi were just here to see."

"And they didn't kill you? Well done."

"They aren't as bad as I've heard."

"They were likely in a good mood or something, if they like you then you're set, but once they decide you're the enemy you have to watch yourself with at least as much scrutiny as they do."

We discussed our differences in our view of the Volturi for awhile, each recounting our experience, but I couldn't help but think of just one question for him.

"Where did you go?" I finally asked. I had always wondered why he left me to kill all those people.

"I was just taking the children to safety and when I came back you were gone," he explained. "Where did you go?"

"I thought you had left me. I realized what I had done and ran into the forest, determined to not eat, and finally I managed to discover animal blood."

Randall smiled. "I noticed your eyes had changed." His demeanor suddenly changed as he took my hands. "Clara, I'm sorry, you have to understand, I would have never left you on purpose. I looked for you for a while, but you could have gone anywhere. I always kept an eye out though."

"Thank you Randall," I said softly.

"You know," he started, I could tell he was a little nervous. "I'd really like if if you came back out on the road with me. You can still eat animals or whatever, I'm just getting lonely and I really loved your company when I had it."

I smiled. "That's a very kind offer, but I can't. The Volturi wants me under the watch of the coven at all times and I don't think they'd trust you. I'm sure you're welcome to stay here though."

He shook his head. "No, I couldn't do that. I'd be imposing."

"Nonsense! We'd love to have you."

"I just couldn't you know? I'd miss traveling too much? Remember when we would go into those farmer's fields and just look at the stars upon stars in the clear night skies?" he asked nostalgically.

"I do, and I would go with you for maybe a year or two, you don't realize how long I've been trapped in here by the baby, but I do like being in one place and I love the Denalis. I couldn't leave them."

Randall sighed. "I understand. So I see I was right. I'm sorry," he said putting a hand on my baby bump.

"It's alright Randall, I've managed to survive this far. I just wish she would have had a chance," I sighed.

"You would have made a great mother," he said softly. He put his hand on my cheek.

"Thanks." Then I began to cry. It was the first time I had cried for my baby for a long time. I remembered how defensive over her I had been back on the first night we had spent together in the hotel. He was only trying to warn me and I wouldn't have any of it. I couldn't have had any of it at that point, I would have died.

Randall hugged me. "It's alright," he whispered. He held me until I had cried myself out. Kate had come in to see what was wrong, but Randall shooed her away which was fine with me. "I'm still willing to take you up on that offer. Should the baby ever come out you just tell me and I'll be there to hold your hand through it."

"Thank you, but I don't think it's coming out soon. Carlisle Cullen has been working on a way to get her out without hurting me too much for years, but he hasn't come up with much."

"I know, I'm just saying, if you need me for anything I'll be there."

"Thank you, Randall." I let my head rest on his chest, feeling it go up and down as he breathed instinctively. He stayed steady, holding me in his firm grip.

Finally when I felt better I got up and showed him around. He said he would stay a few more days if we would like and I told him I would like that very much. I didn't know why, I should have hated him like I did the first time I saw him after being turned, but I didn't, I felt strangely close to him now, I couldn't hate him after he had been so sweet and caring towards me.

Carmen and Eleazar seemed to like him too, he was much more likable than I remembered him. Maybe after years to forgive him for changing me, something that was an accident to begin with, I had finally managed to do that and could now see him clearly.

The days that Randall stayed were nice. Randall didn't leave the house much either and he managed to keep me very entertained with stories of what he had seen and done over his years of traveling. I think he was trying to sway me to go with him when he left, I knew how lonely it was to travel without a partner. He was always smiling too, he always seemed to be happy about something. I remembered this a little from when we were traveling together, but somehow I didn't think it was as frequently. One day though, he finally had to leave. He said he was going to Canada for a while, and that he would stop by and see if we were situated in Alaska if he went there.

We sat out on the front step. It was the first time he had looked sad for a few days.

"I'm gonna miss you doll face," he said softly, swinging our entwined hands in the space between us. He'd kept that nickname since we'd first met.

I looked over and smiled at him. He smiled back and leaned closer. He dropped my hand and placed his hand on my cheek instead. I was a little confused, but it was fine, I didn't even flinch. Then he came closer until our heads touched. Randall put his other hand on my face and brought his lips to mine and kissed me. His lips were soft and gentle, trying not to scare me, but it was too late for that. I was far to surprised to react. Had he really just kissed me? I hadn't thought a single romantic thought aside from acting with whatever man I was with at the moment, but I could tell he was serious. I pushed him away.

"What do you think you're doing?" I nearly shouted.

He looked at me in shock. "I...I just thought...I really care for you and..."

I shook my head. "This is too sudden."

"What do you mean too sudden? We've been flirting for the past several days!"

We had? I hadn't noticed.

"Everyone in the house thinks we're going to start dating, and I personally would like that."

Had it been that obvious. I knew Kate and Carmen had been smiling at me more than usual, but I hadn't thought anything of it.

"Please Clara?" he asked.

"No...I...I can't." I felt so dirty, so disloyal, but who was I being disloyal to? A dead man? Oh Robert, I wished I hadn't killed him. Had I seen that he had gotten another girl, moved on, I would have felt better about this, but he was dead and I was the one who had to move on

Randall seemed to read my thoughts. "I'm sorry I separated you and your husband, but you seem to have forgiven me for that. You need to get on with your life at some point! I don't mean to be rude but you know it's true!"

"Randall!" I exclaimed. I couldn't believe him, I just couldn't believe him. "I have eternity, what does it matter if I grieve for this long? As long as I am carrying his child I just don't feel comfortable seeing anyone else."

Randall sighed and shook his hair out of his face where it had fallen in the heat of the argument. "Alright then. I guess I'll be seeing you. I still love you Clara. Tell the others goodbye for me." He kissed my cheek, hopped off the porch and started down the street. As he left I felt myself falling apart. I sat on the porch and let him go. I couldn't call him back after that. When he was out of sight I buried my face in my hands and cried.

As the night went on questions haunted me. Had I just ruined something which could have been good? Who knew if I would come across another chance to love again? Who knew if he would seek me out again?

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**Okay, well that's that. This is seriously the longest thing I've ever written and it's not even close to finished yet! I'd like to thank my betas, my reviewers, and my readers :) THANKS! **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey readers! I've got another chapter for you (I know, I've been holding out on you...). Okay, I think it is well established that I do not own Twilight...if I did I would have better things to do than write fanfiction. Owning Clara would not have any signficant impact on my life, but my cousin is making me announce that I in fact, do not own her.**

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Chapter 16.

All the boxes were packed and Carmen was chastising the moving men for being clumsy with them.

"That's the fine china!" she called after one of them.

Like we ever used the fine china. A lot of these things were props, beds, cooking supplies, dishes, but some of the things like the towels and couches and books we actually used.

We made it look like we were off to catch a plane as Eleazar gave the men instructions on how to get to our house. As soon as they drove off we started running and didn't stop until we got there. Sometimes we raced, but usually we were all neck in neck.

The house was just about as big as the other one which was a good size. Enough for everyone except Carmen and Eleazar to have their own bedroom and also an extra guest room. It was painted dark brown, almost black, likely to absorb heat on the rare sunny days. Half the year was night here, which suited us very well. Of course, it was the day half of the year now, but it would be the night half in a few weeks, just enough time for me to make appearances in what little public there was before the baby bump could be disguised by darkness. There wasn't a lot of public though. Town Square consisted of a diner, a general store, a funeral home, and a bank.

The locals were friendly. They asked us about where we had come from and we told them. Maine. We said that Carmen and I were half sisters and that Kate, Tanya, and Irina were our cousins. We told them we had inherited the house and needed the room which was why we moved there. They thought it was ironic that our last name was the same as the name of the town. Actually the name did come from a town, but it was in Russia. It was where Tanya, Irina, and Kate had come from. We weren't sure if Denali still existed, it was far too small to pinpoint on a map. Eleazar said we'd go there sometime soon.

Setting everything up was less than fun, but it wasn't hard hard work. Once the moving men had left (it took them a couple of days to get up there), we were able to stop acting like we couldn't lift some of the stuff and got some real work done. Everything was unpacked and the house was basically a home within twenty-four hours of their leaving.

After the last of the knickknacks had been placed on the shelves I collapsed on the couch. Not from exhaustion, I was just making a statement.

"Carmen, you are insane," Tanya complained. "We have all of eternity and you make us decorate the house within a day of us moving into it."

"I like everything complete," Carmen said, defending herself.

"It looks all looks very nice," Eleazar said.

"Suck up," Irina snorted. Eleazar had been putting the beds together and hadn't had to deal with Carmen's obsession with with where each and every little figurine should go and which way it should face, and she changed her mind often. I had heard she was a terror when she was visiting with other covens, commenting on every little detail.

Kate put in a Mozart CD and the mood of the house relaxed. I hadn't really cared for classical music as a human, but with my vampire hearing a good piece of music was nothing less than monumental. It was the same with good art. I could see and appreciate all the little details, although sometimes a picture was ruined by a human unknowingly using the eighth color humans were blind to.

In the calm Eleazar, Irina, and I all decided that we needed to go hunting.

"Polar bears are a delicacy," Eleazar explained as we walked into the field. It was covered in brown grass, killed by an early winter chill, but some of the blades retained their green color, trying to survive. "But because they are endangered we can't eat them too often. However, I feel this is an occasion to celebrate."

The wind blew and I caught several scents. The cold earth, the sea, several smaller animals like mice and rabbits, and then I caught it. It was like the scent of a grizzly bear, but it was much stronger, more pure.

"There it is," Eleazar grinned.

Irina crouched and sprung up, running towards the bears which had just come into sight. There were three of them. Perfect.

Eleazar and I had to follow her quickly or else the bears would run and we would have to chase them further, not that that would be a problem.

The bears had been busy trying to poke holes in the ice and were surprised by our attack, and therefore, easy prey. Eleazar was right, the blood was very good, it was by far one of the best animals I had ever eaten.

When we came back home not much was going on, everyone was pretty much doing the same thing they were doing before except that Carmen was on the phone. When she hung up she called everyone into the living room

"The Cullens are coming to visit," she said. "We all know what that means."

The others all groaned.

"We _just_ set everything up, what more is there to clean?" Tanya whined.

"EVERYTHING!!!" Carmen screeched, her Spanish accent causing the r to roll.

Kate giggled.

"This is a serious matter!" Carmen chastised. "If everything isn't PERFECT by the time Esme gets here I'll never live it down!!!" At that she began barking orders. My job was to clean the already sparkling bathrooms, so I stole one of Kate's cds, as well as her walkman, and closed the door to each bathroom, just sitting there and listening to music for an appropriate amount of time before moving on.

Occasionally I did scrub out the showers and the sinks as we had already used those to wash up before we went into town, but the toilets remained untouched. We just had to flush them regularly so we didn't get a water ring.

I was excited. If the Cullens were coming I'd get to see Jasper, I had talked to him on the phone once or twice, but nothing monumental. Along with that I'd get to meet Alice, everything Jasper said about her was good, so I was looking forward to it.

When I went downstairs to tell Carmen I was finished, I saw no notable changes, everything looked exactly as before, except Carmen was busy running around giving orders that everyone pretended to follow. If you actually followed her orders she would tell you you did it wrong and make you do it again, but she never noticed if you didn't do it at all.

Finally, several hours later it seemed as if everything were done. Every surface capable of sparkling sparkled, you could see your face in the hardwood and tile floors as well as eat off them if you wanted. There was not a speck of dust to be found and the entire house looked as if it had been transposed from a magazine.

"Let's see those girls criticize my house-keeping now," said Carmen. I was actually starting to worry about her a little bit.

"It's fine," Kate told me, "this happens anytime the Cullens come over. She reads into their words far too much and gets paranoid. We call it housewife syndrome. As soon as they leave she'll be back to her normal self."

I certainly hoped so. This Carmen was moody and even borderline mean, but I would put up with it for a few days to see Jasper and Alice for a few days. I was really looking forward to it. I was also hoping to ask Carlisle himself what he had found out about get the baby out.

The phone rang again. I raced Kate to answer it to avoid getting another job. Surprisingly I won.

"Hello?"

"Hi," the cheerful voice on the other end of the line answered. "This is Esme Cullen, is this the Denali residence?"

"It is, this is Clara," I said. Hopefully Esme was a talker.

"Oh, it's nice to talk with you," I could hear the smile in her voice. "We were just calling to say that we were crossing the US, Canada border and that we'll probably be there in a few hours if we don't get something to eat along the way."

"Okay, I'll be sure to tell Carmen and Eleazar. We're really looking forward to your arrival."

"Is that because Carmen is working you like dogs?" a deep male voice asked. He was in the background, but he was loud enough to hear.

"That was Emmett," Esme explained.

"Oh," I laughed. "Well, we're looking forward to it for other reasons as well, but frankly yes."

I could hear several people laughing on the other end.

"Okay, we'll try to sneak up on you. Maybe we'll be able to catch something out of place," Esme chuckled.

"You can try, but I think it's a little late for that," I said. "I can't wait to meet you all."

"And we can't wait to meet you either, well, we've got to get going. Bye Clara."

"Bye."

"Who was that?" Carmen immediately questioned me.

"Esme Cullen," I replied.

"What did she say?"

"She said they'd be here in a few hours if they didn't get something to eat along the way."

"A few hours!!"

"We are NOT doing any more work!" Tanya shouted from the spotless, unused kitchen.

"We're going hunting!" Kate shouted, as she threw on a coat. Not because she would be cold, but in case she ran into any humans along the way.

"Me too," I said, trying to escape the prospect of polishing the silver, something I knew had been done a couple of hours ago, but Carmen would insist be done again, likely by me.

"You just ate," Carmen argued.

"Uh, no I didn't. Bye!" I said, trying to hold back the grin as I grabbed a coat as well and rushed out the door.

Kate, Tanya, and I crept quietly towards the house. Kate and Tayna had eaten, but we were watching for signs of the Cullens. We didn't want to go back in until they arrived. Twice we had been deterred by Carmen's shrieks and Irina's arguing, but this time we couldn't hear much of anything.

"I guess they're here," Kate said cautiously.

"There's only one way to find out," I said.

"Let's go," Tanya finished. She was eager to see Edward although I had heard he had no interest in her romantically whatsoever.

We went inside to find the Cullens, all seven of them, sitting in various locations in the living room.

"Clara!" Jasper shouted, nearly jumping up from his seat as he nearly tackled me in a hug.

"Oh Jasper, I've missed you," I said mumbled into his chest.

He lifted up my chin. "Look, I kept my promise," he grinned. He had. I guess the Cullens grabbed something to eat on the way, because his eyes were the color of butterscotch. The others did as well. I spotted Alice immediately, and as soon as we made eye contact she bounced up and flitted over to us. She was exactly as Jasper described her, very pixie like, very energetic, like a little ray of sunshine with her smile.

"Hi, I'm Alice, nice to meet you, Jasper's told me so much about you."

"Hi, it's very nice to meet you too, Jasper did an excellent job of describing you in his letter."

Alice beamed.

"I still have a few more of those I wrote but never sent," Jasper said. "I'll get them for you later."

I looked back over at the couch. Tanya had squeezed herself as close to teh man I assumed to be Edward as possible even though there was at least three feet of space on the couch when she did that. Jasper and Alice took up the spot, her hand completely covered by his big lanky one. They were so cute together, they made my heart smile, but it also made me wonder if I had chosen the right thing by letting Randall go. I was really wracked with grief over the whole thing. I was sure I had broken his heart, I had seen it in his face as he left. What if he was my soul-mate and I just shooed him away for nothing but a memory?

Well, it was too late now, as he said about me, he could be anywhere by now and I had no clue. Pushing Randall to the back of my mind for now I looked around the room at the others.

I identified Esme by her voice as I had heard it on the phone, and right after she registered Emmett's booming laugh shook the room. He and Rosalie were standing to one side of the room, talking to Kate and Irina, Carlisle I assumed, and Esme were talking to Carmen and Eleazar, and Tanya was flirting with Edward of course.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hello there Clara," a warm voice said from behind me.

I turned around to see the man I had guessed as Carlisle, so when he introduced himself as such, I wasn't surprised.

"If you wouldn't mind it, I like to examine you a bit, ask you some questions, a little doctors visit if you like. I'd just like to know what I'm working with first hand."

I smiled and nodded. "That will be fine. Thank you so much, Jasper told me how hard you've been working to try and get the baby out. I really appreciate it."

"It's no trouble at all, it's been a while since I've seen a challenge in the medical field, and this" he gestured to my bulging stomach, "is truly something."

We laughed a little and discussed a time and place for him to do an examination. He seemed very nice, very calm, I could see why Jasper chose to stay with this coven.

I met the rest of the coven as well and they were all very pleasant. The only one who seemed to hold a grudge against me was Emmett's wife Rosalie. Later Emmett explained that Rosalie had always wanted a child very badly. She had always envied those with children, even before she became a vampire. I wouldn't exactly call my condition having a child. It was more like having a large obtrusion attached my person. It wasn't fun in any way.

Later Carlisle met me in a spare bedroom to do the exam. He had me lift up my shirt to expose my baby belly, and tried to do an ultra-sound, but the vampire flesh was too thick. He listened for any sign of life or movement, but he couldn't hear anything. I knew these things would happen, but he said he just wanted to make sure.

"There is one thing I thought of to get the baby out, but I'm not sure how well it would work. It might be too uncomfortable to be worth it," Carlisle said.

I doubted that. "What is it?" I asked.

"Well, I could try to use my teeth to rip through your flesh and get to the baby, but as I said, it would be uncomfortable. My teeth would cut through your skin about as well as the average steak knife would cut through leather. It would be difficult for me and very slow and painful for you, but I would be able to cut through it."

"How painful?" I asked. I gave him my hand. "Here, test it on my finger."

"I'd rather not," Carlisle said, stepping back.

"Please, I'd do almost anything to get this baby out. Pain is hardly an issue."

"I don't think you understand, so I'll play along and let you see how it feels." He took my hand and took my pointer finger. He slowly brought it to his mouth and jammed my finger onto his tooth, it hurt a little, but it wasn't bad. He took the finger and rubbed it up and down his canine tooth for at least half an hour until it finally came open, by the time that happened my finger was very sore.

He took my finger out of his mouth and let me see it. It had been cut open, but there was nothing coming out. "See, it would take forever for me to cut it open this way, and you would be in a lot of pain."

As the air hit my finger it began to sting a little. I didn't like having it open. Carlisle wrapped it for me, but said that was all he could do.

"If you're willing to wait though," he started. "There is a pack of werewolves who live in Washington. Their teeth and claws cut through vampire flesh much more easily and effectively than I could do. Unfortunately, they were created because of us, and I do not think they would be very willing to cut you open except to kill you. Perhaps in the future though, we could forge a better relationship with them, and one might be willing."

I nodded. That was fair. "I guess I have no choice. I'll wait."

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**Hopefully that will bring some insight to those of you who were curious as to how Clara is going to get the baby out. The theory I am basing the teeth thing off of is that human teeth to human skin is about equal to vampire teeth on vampire skin. You CAN cut the skin with the teeth, but it would be very painful and difficult, and generally not advisable. I hope you enjoyed seeing a little of the Cullens, they'll be coming in a bit more now. Thanks to everyone who helps with this/reads this for hanging in with me, review if you please! :)**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :) **


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello Readers! Well, not much is new, I still don't own Twilight. Enjoy the chapter.

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Chapter 17.

We lived in Alaska for about ten years and the Cullens visited us several times, I saw how we compared ourselves to extended family, we certainly visited each other enough. Frequent trips also helped us keep our cover longer, when we were gone people didn't see us, and they didn't question it when we came back looking the same. By the seventh year we had to go way out of our way to get supplies, but luckily we had stocked up during the first few years and because of the invention of the internet, anything we needed could be ordered online and shipped to our house.

I still hadn't heard from Randall, and while part of me was glad for this, the other part longed for his company and affections. I wasn't sure, but I now thought that in those few days in Maine I had fallen in love with him too. I would just have to wait until we next met to find out what this meant.

Carlisle continued to examine me and sadly, I was informed that the wolves had skipped a few generations. Carlisle theorized that either the vampires would be able to start out with a clean slate with the new wolves, or the wolves would harbor resentment over their condition and relations would be worsened, meaning I would have to wait longer. I sincerely hoped for the former for the sake of both parties. The Cullens had just moved to Forks Washington, the home of the wolves, so the test would be soon begin. The Cullens were doing their best to remain inconspicuous and not slip up as to impress upon the wolves the choice of our lifestyle and how it made life easier for them.

A couple of weeks after they moved there we got a phone call, the caller ID said it was from Edward, so I picked it up.

"Hey Edward."

"Clara? I have to ask you something important," he asked hurriedly.

"Yes? What is it Edward?"

"Would it be okay if I came up and stayed with you for a while? There's this girl who just moved to Forks. Her blood is irresistible to me, I can't even breath around her. I feel the monster in me coming back," he sounded terrified, mortified at his own blood lust.

"Of course Edward, I'm sure, that would be fine with everyone," I said quickly.

"Thank you Clara, I'll be there soon, I don't know how much longer I can go without killing her."

The next day Edward was with us. We all gathered around him as he told us about how he had found what he called his _la tua cantate_. I knew enough Italian to know that translated into blood singer.

After asking Eleazar about it he said that it was blood so tempting and delicious to a vampire that it not only called, but sang for him to drink it. He explained that even the oldest vampires sometimes have not come across their blood singer, and with about six billion people in the world, that was reasonable.

Edward seemed obsessed with the girl, Bella Swan. He described her blood in great detail. An irresistible perfume of lavender and freesia he said over and over, the hunger and desperation of a newborn dancing in his eyes. I had always known Edward to be so calm, so non-chalant, not as friendly as Carlisle, but as, if not more, composed. Seeing him like this was frightening. We took him hunting often, but nothing would parch his thirst anymore, not even the polar bears.

The other curious thing about her was that she was immune to Edward's power. He couldn't read her thoughts. We had no idea why. Edward's power had worked on everyone before this, there was no escaping having Edward know your mind, even if he tried not to listen too closely. Still, this matter was trivial, our main goal was to save the girl from a horrible, terrifying death, or worse.

Kate said she'd help him and started shocking him if he said anything about Bella or her blood. This seemed to help some, but mostly it just made Edward leave the room whenever Kate came in.

Even though she lamented over Jane from the Volturi, who she claimed used her power sadistically, Kate often buzzed people for things like saying something she didn't like, losing a game, and taking down the last elk. It was funny...as long as it wasn't you she was shocking.

After a couple weeks he started to return to his normal self. When he began to talk about wanting to return to Forks we all thought it was only his thirst speaking. Kate zapped him for good measure.

"OW!" Edward shouted. "I'm being serious! I want to return to Forks! I won't eat her! This will be a new test of my strength."

"Uh huh," Kate said lazily and shocked him again.

"Kate, stop, let him talk," Eleazar said.

"I want to go back to Forks. I miss my family and I want to see if I can do this. I'm not going to try anything, I'm hardly going to speak to her."

"That sounds reasonable enough," Eleazar said calmly.

"But what if he can't resist! What if he tries to kill her!" Kate exclaimed.

"Then that would be unfortunate, but the Cullens have dealt with this before. I think if Edward wants to go home we should let him."

"Thank you Eleazar," Edward said. "Kate, I don't want to hurt her. She means more to me than most humans. I'm curious. Not being able to see into her mind makes me so curious. My curiosity for her almost rivals my thirst for her blood. I want to watch her, see what she does. I want to learn about her. It's been so long since I couldn't simply see into someone's mind and know what they were truly like."

"I think that sounds like something rational Edward would say. We should let him go, the others can take care of him," Eleazar told Kate.

"Alright," Kate sighed. She got out her cell phone to call the Cullens and tell them Edward was returning.

"Hello?" Carlisle's smooth voice said. We could hear him through the speaker, which was obviously designed for humans.

"Hi Carlisle, it's Kate, we were just calling to say that Edward's going to be coming back to Forks to stay with you guys. We're pretty sure it's not just his instincts acting conniving, but I would still keep him under close watch. If he does anything fishy then just send him back up here." At that Kate grinned evilly at Edward. Edward grimaced at the thought of having to be around Kate and her electro-therapy again.

"Really?" Carlisle said. "That's quite interesting. May I speak to him please?"

"Of course." Kate handed Edward the phone. We could still hear the conversation.

"Edward, are you sure you want to come back? It's dangerous you know, and if you kill her at the wrong time you may just set off the wolves."

"Yes Carlisle. Being with her may kill me physically, but not being with her kills me mentally. I can't bear it any longer."

"And you're sure about this? Remember Edward, human life is at stake. Alice saw her becoming one of us and her vision hasn't changed yet."

"I know. Maybe it will though. I have to come back! Besides, Kate is shocking me!!"

Carlisle sighed. "Alright Edward, you can come home, but you know what risks you're taking."

Edward sighed in return. "I know Carlisle. It does hurt a part of me to know I'm risking her, but how else am I going to satisfy my curiosity? I'm going to try my hardest."

"I know you are Edward. We'll see you soon," Carlisle said. He chuckled. "Alice is already setting up a homecoming party."

The two said goodbye and hung up.

"I guess I'll go get my things," Edward said. He got up and started toward the stairs.

Just then Tanya came in. "I just finished ordering this month's supplies. I got you a new book Edward," she said.

The flustered irritation in Edward's face was obvious. One girl shocked him at every corner and the other was constantly making moves on him. If she and her sisters didn't go out to the bar to snap up some drunken human men occasionally she probably would have raped Edward by now. No wonder he wanted to leave!

"Thank you Tanya, but I've just gotten approval to go back home. I'll certainly read it when we come back up, or you can mail it to me," Edward muttered, rushing up the stairs.

"Aww," Tanya pouted, slumping into the couch.

"It's okay Tanya, you'll get him one day," Kate said, wrapping an arm around her. "You've both got forever."

"I guess you're right," she shrugged then skulked off, likely to go read something of Edgar Allen Poe's. Tanya always shoved herself into horror books when she was depressed, it was a little scary actually, and we tried to keep her away from the gory stuff just in case.

So Edward returned to Forks. For some reason Bella, being incredibly stupid, was attracted to Edward. Usually a vampire's detached attitude was a turn off to humans, but this one only seemed more attracted every time Edward tried to push her away. It was my personal theory that the girl had a death wish. Finally I heard from Jasper that he and Bella had started dating. At this Tanya was devastated and hid away in her room for days, even refusing her sisters' invitations to go out and satisfy her hormonal needs, something I still lacked for the most part.

Finally we heard that she was being hunted by a tracker named James, and his wife Victoria. I slightly remembered meeting them once in my years as a single nomad, but I also remembered a third man with them. A Frenchman named Laurent. It didn't bother me too much though, I figured he just left them for similar reasons as those I left Charlotte and Peter for. I missed them and wished I could go look for them, just to visit. I hadn't heard from them in over thirty years.

Still, when Laurent came to stay with us, claiming he wanted to change, there was a good amount of suspicion about his motives in my mind. There shouldn't have been, I had done the exact same thing years before, and yet there was always something suspicious about him.

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**Well, there was Edward, the contents of the next chapter should be pretty easy to guess considering I'm using most of the cannon stuff. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks to all the people who made this story possible. Reviews are always appreciated! **

**hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey readers! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but I had it all written out just how I wanted it and my flash drive randomly stopped working. Luckily I had most of the chapter saved on the computer, but there were a few things I had to fix before posting it. Hope you enjoy! :)

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Chapter 18.

"Hello, my name is Laurent. I was wondering if I might take shelter with your coven?" Laurent asked, the stormy night he came. He was tall and lean, but very muscular. His black hair fell past his shoulders in dreadlocks and his skin was very interesting. It was obvious the natural shade of it was very dark, but the natural tendency for vampire skin to pale had muted it, making it almost look gray.

It was a few days after we had first heard from the Cullens that they had killed James and Bella was safe now, so it would be fine for him to stay.

"Of course," Irina replied with a warmth that was unusual for her as she ushered him in.

We all noticed the change in her. It was something that became more and more pronounced as Laurent stayed with us. She smiled more often, she was nicer in general, she even started singing around the house, something Kate and Tanya told me she hadn't done since the death of their mother. All of these things we simply shrugged off as simply a strange mood-swing, but when Tanya finally agreed to go to town with Kate and she refused, we knew something was going on.

Usually Irina enjoyed these expeditions the most, another reason we were never the best of friends. I thought it was both immoral, and risky to our cover for them to go out year after year and have sex with the same men at the bar. It wasn't even like they were sleeping with different men as there wasn't a great variety here. Still, as much as I told myself it was wrong, I knew that if I weren't pregnant I would have gone with them at least once, just to try. Now that my thirst was basically under control my other hunger kicked in quite frequently. I was lonely after sixty years of staying loyal to Robert, and I dearly wished I hadn't sent Randall away. Because I had though, I made them think I didn't approve to hide my jealousy. The fact that Irina had chosen not to go meant something drastic had happened.

"Irina, what's going on with you?" Kate would ask.

Irina would look at her innocently and shrug. "I don't know what you mean," she would say lightly and go off to do a load of laundry or polish the silver.

"Irina, why have you been acting so lively lately?" Tanya would ask as Irina would come down the hall singing.

"How else is there to act?" she would say, then skitter off to some unknown room.

One night we were all in various places. Carmen was on the phone, speaking to Maggie of the Irish coven, Eleazar was on the couch, watching a documentary on the jungles of South America, Kate was figuring out how to use her new ipod, and Tanya was in the corner with a book on astrology. The astrology book reminded me of Randall, and having read all the botany books we owned, I decided to see what Randall had been talking about every night.

I picked the slimmest volume on the subject from our extensive library and headed up to my room to read it. I had the comfiest arm chair in there from which it was no bother getting in and out of. Coming down the hall though, I heard something coming from Irina's room. I went closer to investigate and immediately wished I hadn't. From what I could hear she and Laurent were having intimate affairs. If I could have blushed I knew I would have done so wildly. So that was what Irina was up to. That may have even been why Laurent didn't leave after the storm passed. I was still slightly suspicious of him, but he was always polite and since Irina seemed fond of him I never said anything. I just didn't know how fond they were of each other. How they could be in love so quickly I wasn't sure of, but love was strange and mysterious in its ways.

I took my book into my room and tried to read, but I could always faintly hear them in the room down the hall. I thought about knocking on the door and telling them I could hear them, but decided against it. I would have gotten up and moved myself, but I was far too comfy to get up. Finally though, I couldn't take it any longer and left to go back to the living room with everyone else.

As I walked down the hall way the noise increased, there was murmuring and the heavy rustling of fabric. One of them slipped off the bed and I heard footsteps coming to the door and the knob being turned followed by more footsteps. I turned my head out of instinct and saw her standing there in shock, scuttling down the hallway wrapped tightly in a bed sheet. When our eyes caught she stopped and stammered.

"Clara! I...I can explain!" Embarrassment was written all over her face and she was petrified to the spot she was standing.

"Irina...it's okay if you love him." I decided not to torture her further and quickly made my way down the stairs to continue my book. It was really quite interesting. I never realized that there were not just a few stars in the sky, but billions which we couldn't see. The ancients were so creative with how they explained the night sky and how they managed to make such intricate systems of trying to find out who one was. That was the human question. Who am I supposed to be?

Later, I had returned to my room to finish the book as Irina and Laurent had come down and Irina was constantly looking at me, pleading for me not to spill her secret. I didn't see why it had to be a secret, but I kept it private for her. Laurent had been nothing but nice since he arrived and he had even hinted off the Cullens about James. He hadn't requested to try our lifestyle yet, but we all thought he would come around sometime.

The footsteps began softly and I thought they were going to another room, but as I heard them turn at my door I looked it. The door creaked open and Irina peeked in sheepishly.

"May I come in?" she asked softly, as if she were afraid to talk too loudly.

"Of course." I put my book on my lap.

Slowly she came in and sat down on the bed. There was really no reason for me to have one as I didn't sleep, either in the literal sense or the new slang sense, but sometimes it just felt good to lie down for awhile.

"I wanted to thank you for earlier...I do love him, but I don't know how long he's going to be around. I don't think he wants to try our lifestyle. I didn't want to get everyone's hopes up unnecessarily."

"It was no big deal."

"I'm sorry if I wasn't exactly kind to you in the past," she said looking down. "It was nothing against you personally..."

"Your sisters told me and it's fine."

"No, it's not fine. I was rude to you for no good reason and when you finally have a chance to pay me back for it you choose not to. You're really not vicious enough."

I laughed. "I'm plenty vicious for my tastes."

Irina laughed a little too, but she kept staring at my baby belly. I wouldn't have minded, she did it all the time, but if she were really going to try and be better then she would need to stop.

"Irina...well, um...would you mind not staring at my baby bump so much? It makes me nervous."

Her eyes flew up and she looked slightly mortified. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that it made you feel that way. I won't stare anymore, but can I ask a favor?"

"Of course." What kind of favor could she possibly want?

"Can I touch it? I know it's not alive or anything, but still, I've been wanting to touch it for a while, just to see."

"Alright," I said. Because it had been awhile since I had been out in public it had been awhile since anyone had asked to touch my stomach. Sometimes I was even able to forget it was there, but usually it was within my lower peripheral vision and I could see it, a constant reminder.

She very slowly, very cautiously put her hand on my stomach. It sat there for a few long minutes and I watched. Once she was satisfied her hand came off and returned to her lap.

"Thank you," she said. "I've always wanted children."

"So have I," I said, my voice barely over a whisper yet laced with sarcasm. We both chuckled at the irony of it.

We sat there silently for a while, and then the curiosity got the best of me. I had to ask.

"Is it true that the French are the best lovers?"

We both laughed. "I'm not sure, they're certainly up their with the Italians and the Spaniards, but only human wise. Being with a vampire is simply...different...but if Laurent is anything like the rest of the French then yes."

I felt the smile leave my face as I prepared to ask a more serious question. "If he leaves," I started slowly, "will you go with him?"

Irina sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. I love him, but I love you all here too, but I don't know whom I would choose should he leave, and I have a feeling he might very soon. He was talking to one of his friends on the phone the other night."

"That doesn't mean anything," I said. I talked to Jasper often, but that didn't mean I was going to switch covens.

"He told her he would go and do 'it' if she couldn't. I don't know what 'it' is, but I'm afraid if he leaves to do it he won't come back."

"Irina, if he leaves you here and never comes back for you then he doesn't really love you," I said.

"Randall loves you and I don't see him around here," Irina countered.

"That's because I told him I didn't love him," I said softly, "but I think I do. I just don't know."

"Oh," Irina said.

I nodded. How could we both be so lost with love?

Laurent stayed a few more weeks, and Irina and I thought he was going to stay. Everyone was gathered in the living room that day, so Irina was going to tell them she and Laurent were a couple.

"Excuse me," someone said, but it wasn't Irina. Laurent stood up and cleared his throat. "I will be leaving tomorrow to attend some business with my old friend, but I would like to come back, if it wouldn't be too much trouble for you."

"Of course, you may come back any time you like," Carmen said calmly.

I smiled at Irina who was beaming ear to ear.

"Then I will be back for you ma cherie," he said, kissing Irina's hand and going upstairs, presumably to pack.

Tanya and Kate squealed simultaneously, but Kate was the first one to get to Irina with a hug. They fussed over her so much I could see how she didn't want to tell them. If he left her without coming back they would either be crushed, or go chasing after him with the persistence only to be matched by a hungry newborn to kill him.

Laurent was very well behaved as he came back down and bid us goodbye, promising Irina he would be back within the week and that he would call when he could, as well as gracefully submitting himself to Kate and Tanya's interrogations. He kissed Irina one more time before he slung his back pack over his back and started to run south.

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**Well, as always thank you to my loyal readers and reviewers, I appreciate you reading my story. :) Also thanks to my betas for looking over all my stuff as I misspell many things. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello readers! Here is your new installment! I hope you enjoy it!

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Chapter 19.

He called her the first and second days and all was well. Kate and Tanya were already secretly planning the wedding behind Irina's back. The third day though, we didn't receive a call, and Irina started to worry a little, but everyone else shrugged it off. As more days passed without a phone call, Irina worried more, and when Kate and Tanya weren't trying to comfort her they were making plans to interrogate him about where he had been and what he had been doing.

Finally a week passed and he hadn't come home. By this point we tried nearly everything to keep Irina's mind off of him. Five thousand piece puzzles were finished in thirty minutes, she engulfed the entire Harry Potter series in two hours, and we had taken turns watching nearly every horror, action, or adventure movie on pay per view. There was simply nothing that would keep her thoroughly distracted. Once the week was up she was all over the place, the first few days she waited by the door like a puppy dog and guarded the phone as if Laurent were going to erupt from it like a genie in a bottle. After that though, it varied. Some days she'd be by the door, but for most of them she was convinced that he had left her and kept herself locked in her room. It _was_ strange how we never heard from him, but I at least thought he was coming back. As we never slept our sense of time in the way of days was sometimes off. Occasionally I'd forget the date, and when I guessed, and checked it on the calendar, I was weeks off.

Kate and Tanya were the only ones Irina let in, and even the times she did that were few and far between. We did manage to get her to go hunting with us one day, but immediately after that she ran straight to her room.

About three weeks after he had left we I was getting ready to go take a shower when the phone rang. I realized the only phone that Irina _hadn't_ stolen was in my room as I had just used it to call up Jasper. The Cullens had moved from Forks after Jasper had nearly killed Bella after she received a paper cut, and Alice told me it was the general consensus that the entire thing was stupid, or at least as stupid as a life threatening situation could be, but that Edward and Jasper were both completely torn up about it. Now they were staying in South America, which was next on their list of destinations. The Cullens' list of destinations was about forty places long. When someone had a place they wanted to live next they put it on the list and eventually it would be gotten to, apparently Esme had wanted to go to South America so she and Carlisle would be in close proximity to the Isle Esme.

"Jasper?" I saw that the caller id said it was him and thought it was strange he was calling back so soon.

"Clara, I've got some bad news, Carlisle just told us."

"Oh no, what is it?"

"We just received a phone call from Samuel Uley, the Alpha of the wolves who live in Forks. A vampire, who fits the description of Laurent, went after Bella. The wolves killed him. We think he was in it with Victoria although they didn't see her. I'm sorry Clara, I think after this we're going to have to wait at least another generation before approaching them about your baby. They're all very resentful towards us."

I felt my stomach drop. Laurent was dead. Irina could wait all she wanted, but he wasn't coming back. "Oh no," I whispered.

"Don't worry, we'll find some way to get your baby out," Jasper reassured me.

"No, it's not that. Do you remember how Laurent stayed here after he separated from Victoria and James?"

"Of course."

"Well, in that time, he and Irina fell in love. Everyone thinks they were soul mates and she's been so torn up about his being late. I don't know how she's going to take this."

"Oh...wow..." Jasper said. "I don't know Clara, that's tough. Tell Irina that we're all sorry for her loss." I heard murmuring in the background. "And Esme says to give her our love."

"I will, thanks for calling Jasper."

"It's no problem. I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

We hung up the phone and I didn't know what to do. After fifteen minutes of pacing the room, trying to decide what needed to be done, I went to take my shower and give Irina another half hour of hope, because she had that even on the days like today when she locked herself in her room, before I broke the news.

When I was clean and dressed again, I slowly made my way to Irina's room and knocked lightly on the door. "Irina, may I come in?" I asked softly.

"I'd rather you not," she sniffed from the other side of the door.

"Irina, it's important, and as much as I hate to, I have to tell you this."

"Clara, I just want to be left alone right now."

"Please!" I begged. "If I don't tell you this now I don't know if I'll be able to at all, and you need to know! Please Irina! Let me in!"

I heard shuffling feet and the click of the lock. "Come in," she said.

I slowly followed her into the room. The room was dark seeing as it was the winter and not even sunlight could seep through her closed blinds. The only light was a dim lamp kept by her bedside. She looked at me with unfed black eyes that seemed tired although she needed no rest and my heart started to break for her. I would have done almost anything to not have to tell her this.

"Well, what is it?" she finally asked. I had been sitting in silence, biding my time as much as I could before I broke her.

"I don't know how to say this," I fretted. She started to look worried. I didn't know if it was better to keep stalling, and let her suffer the anticipation, or to simply shove the knife of news in her and get it over with as quickly as possible.

"I'm sure whatever it is I can take it now," she said, resembling her former self, so strong and unyielding. I prepared for the heartbroken mess she would become as I took a deep breath.

"Well, I just got a call from the Cullens," I started. "They said that they received a call from the Alpha of the wolf pack near Forks. You do know that they left Forks."

"Yes," she said simply. I knew she was wondering what this had to do with anything.

"They said...well they said that there had been a vampire down there, and that he went after Bella Swan."

"Oh no!" Irina gasped. "Does that nix the plans for the baby?"

I shook my head. "That's not really the main concern, but yes, it does for now. Irina, we think that the vampire who went after Bella was Laurent."

"It couldn't have been!" she exclaimed. "He just said he was going to be doing some business with his friend."

"Victoria was his friend," I said.

"Well, what happened?" Irina begged. "Is Bella alright?"

"Bella's alright," I sighed. "But Laurent's not."

"What...what do you mean he's not? There's only so many things you can do to a vampire."

"The...the wolves...well, I guess they were trying to do their duty or something, but they killed him. Laurent is dead. I'm sorry."

"NO!" she screamed, throwing her fist down on the bed. I got a flashback of doing a similar thing to my parents' front porch. "No!" she whimpered much more softly. "This can't be happening."

"I'm so sorry Irina, I wish there was something I could do, I really do." I reached up and gently smoothed out her hair, which had become slightly messy during her time of hiding herself away. At that she collapsed into my arms and sobbed.

This didn't last for fifteen seconds before Kate was kicking down the door.

"What happened?" she asked as the light poured in, illuminating the dust specks from where the door had torn from the wall as they danced in front of her. It was like something from those action movies we had been watching.

Irina simply sobbed more at the question.

"Laurent has been killed," I said softly as Irina buried her face into my shoulder.

Kate's eyes flew open, and Tanya came skidding in behind her. "Oh my God," Kate gasped. They both came in and sat down on either side of the bed. We were all like that for a moment, quiet in respect for Irina's mourning, maybe even in our own mourning, it was just so hard to tell.

Irina cried and cried and there was nothing we could do. The feeling was so strange. Death was so rare in our bubble of immortality. The feeling was strange, and yet I was able to dig up empathetic memories from when I had first been mourning for Robert. It had been so horrible, so heart and gut wrenching. I remembered just wanting to die with him and be done with it. We couldn't do that though. There was no reassurance in our own eventual deaths as we would have none, there was only the small flicker of hope that we might, somehow, be able to continue without them. In those first moments though, none of that is visible.

We all stayed with her for God knows how many hours, or maybe it was days. There was no daylight to judge by and I at least, hadn't bothered looking at the clock, either now or when I had first come in. Eventually though, we did have to get up and leave. Tanya left first, getting up to answer the phone as it was ringing, likely Carmen and Eleazar who had gone out shortly after I had gotten out of the shower. Then Kate left as well and I was left. The only reason I was still there was because Irina was still leaning heavily against me.

I waited for several more hours, as I had now started to keep track, until I finally felt I had to leave. I had originally been planning to hunt after my shower, but that obviously didn't happen. I had the feeling that we had been there for days as the burn in my throat was starting to bother me worse than usual. I shifted my weight.

"Please...don't go," Irina choked out.

"You have to be hungry," I replied. "Come and hunt with me."

"I can't."

"You can," I said. I knew what I'd have to say. I knew I'd have to admit I was wrong and that I had acted foolishly in sending Randall away. I knew it would hurt, but I had to do it. "He would want you to move on."

"Not this soon," she said.

"It's only hunting Irina. You have to eat, starving won't kill you. I've tried."

She hung her head and slowly got up. From the dim lamplight I could see her eyes had become even darker, her pupils were no longer distinguishable from her irises.

"Come on," I said gently, taking her hand. We both had to squint a little going into the fluorescent lights in the hallway, but we soon got used to it. Kate and Tanya were in the living room, working on various things. "You want to go hunting?" I asked as we entered.

"No thank you, Clara," Tanya said. Her eyes were a light brown and I noticed that Kate's were a color to match.

We went out and hunted, I let Irina have a polar bear we spotted in the hopes of her feeling better, while I myself had a seal. As we were walking back I saw her wince with fury. For a second I couldn't imagine what she could be thinking about to make her so upset, but then I heard it as well. Under the distant starry sky, the Alaskan wolves cried up to the full moon.

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**Alright, so Laurent is gone, but what will happen next? If you have anything you'd like to see them do or any aspects you'd like to see explored that take place between New Moon and Eclipse, do say, otherwise I'll be skipping that time. Okay, thanks to Shelby for proofreading (apparently agonizing is not a verb lol) and thanks for reading!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :) **


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi readers! Sorry it took so long, the site has been down for the past two days, so I couldn't post. I don't own the Twilight Saga or Breaking Dawn, but I do quote from it. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 20.

As things somewhat settled down on our end after Laurent's death, life was a whirlwind for the Cullens. First, Victoria returned with an army of newborn vampires, just like Jasper had witnessed and been a part of as a young vampire. They asked for our help, but we all knew that this was not our battle, and it would be best for us to avoid affairs that would upset the Volturi, especially with me around.

Shortly after that Edward proposed to Bella, knowing that he would have to turn her soon, and we were invited to the wedding. They were planning to use college as a ruse for Bella's transformation, so the wedding was in late summer, we were all invited. I was especially happy for an opportunity to get out of the house and visit Jasper, but Irina opted to stay home, still in her mourning.

We arrived the day of and helped Esme and Alice set up the living room, transforming it into an area suitable for a wedding. Of course, Esme and Carmen argued on every detail, usually after Carmen made some remark after Esme giving one of us some instructions, but it went quickly enough, and in the course of a few hours everything was finished. Although it was gorgeous already, their living room had become a wonderland of flowers, white roses and tulips threaded with gossamer ribbons were hung everywhere until I supposed the scent of so many humans wouldn't be a problem, all overpowered by the scent of the flowers, and the couches and coffee tables were replaced with rows of chairs and an alter. When everything was finished Esme shooed us off to Alice and Jasper's room to get changed.

We were all excited. We had never seen Bella before, and we were looking forward to meeting her considering she was going to be becoming a part of our extended family very soon. Because she knew about us, the Volturi made Edward promise he would turn her very soon. The wedding marked Bella's last days as a human. Before I knew it we were in our seats, Rosalie playing Wagner's traditional wedding march, plus many, many embellishments. Bella and her father, Charlie Swan, slowly came down the steps. Bella looked amazing, her mahogany hair held up by two sapphire encrusted hair combs, her dress shining and swishing as she walked down the aisle. Alice did an incredible job on her, but she also looked as if she were going to pass out at any moment.

The ceremony was short, just the traditional things, and soon we were at the reception, conveniently held in the Cullens' backyard. After giving his congratulations to Bella, Jasper came over to me. "You see that guy?" he whispered gesturing to a tall boy with russet skin and short dark hair who was congratulating Edward and Bella. "That's Seth Clearwater, he's one of the wolves; he's actually the only one on decent terms with us right now. He's our best bet for getting your baby out."

I nodded. I watched him as a few other friends went to greet the newlyweds, he seemed to be with two older people, possibly his parents, who seemed to have less than approved this union. Seth didn't seem like the murderous type, all smiles and happy chatting. He accidentally bumped into me on his way to get some food, and I noticed his skin was blazing, even compared to the warm touch of humans. It must have been a wolf trait like the horrible smell that emanated from him. Even in someone as hot as he was there was no way body odor could be that bad.

"Excuse me," I said tapping on his shoulder.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning around.

"Look, I don't know how to say this," I said, lower than human ears could hear.

"Yes, I am a wolf," he grinned.

I nodded. "I know…"

"SETH!" his mom called across the room.

"Sorry," he said, shrugging. "I'll catch up with you later okay?"

"Alright," I sighed, watching him go up and argue with his mom for a second.

Soon enough though, it was our turn to finally meet Bella and I had to focus my attentions elsewhere.

The first thing Tanya did was hug Edward, but that was to be expected. "Ah, Edward," she sighed. "I've missed you." She stayed in his arms as long as possible. I remembered that when Edward announced to us he was going to propose to Bella she had pouted for three weeks.

Edward chuckled and pulled away, not wanting to look too promiscuous on his wedding day. "It's been too long, Tanya. You look well."

"So do you," she replied. It might take her a while to get out of her old flirting habit.

"Let me introduce you to my wife," Edward said, a huge grin on his face. "Tanya, this is my Bella."

Tanya reluctantly took Bella's hand and said, "Welcome to the family Bella. We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am_ sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"

"Of course," Bella breathed, seeming overwhelmed by it all. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" she said, grinning at Kate. I found it slightly strange for her to say that so soon after Laurent's death, but Irina wasn't there so I didn't say anything.

"Keep the dream alive," Kate said rolling her eyes. Apparently she agreed with me on Tanya's air headedness. "Welcome, Bella," she said gently, taking Bella's hand from Tanya.

"I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar and Clara. We're all so very pleased to finally meet you," Carmen said. Luckily she knew I didn't really want to say anything myself for now. I was starting to feel shy again, with so many people around. I hadn't seen this many humans for years.

"M-me, too." Bella only glanced at me for a second, and I don't think she noticed my stomach as I was standing behind Carmen and Eleazar.

The line was starting to lengthen, so we bid farewell to them and took our seats. We enjoyed watching Bella and Edward as they did all the traditional things, cutting the cake, throwing the bouquet, removing her garter. Because I hadn't seen Edward since he last came, obsessing over how much he craved her blood, I was surprised to see the ease with which he stayed with her, even removing her garter with his teeth.

After dancing with Alice for a while, Jasper came over to our table. "Hey Clara," he said playfully. "You want to see something?"

"Sure," I said warily.

He took my hand and we went back towards the back door. "Don't look now," he said under his breath. "But over there is Jacob Black. He's one of the wolves as well. Seth is still our best bet, but Jacob fell in love with Bella while we were in South America. We might be able to convince him to help you, he's the beta of his pack, so it would be less risk for him, but…it's just not likely, he's kind of angry that we're going to have to turn Bella."

When Jasper finished his sentence I looked over. Through the window I saw a dark haired man, taller and more muscular than Seth, standing in the darkened corner. I understood how he felt. If I was informed that someone I loved was going to be turned into a vampire I would be horribly upset as well. I had killed Linda to keep it from happening to her. It was an awful fate, even if one learned to enjoy it.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught Edward leading Bella through the room and silently took Jasper's hand and pulled him away. "Give them some privacy," I whispered.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "They'll get enough privacy on the honeymoon."

I had heard they were gong to Isle Esme. That would be fun for them; I still wasn't sure how Edward was going to do it though. The last time I had done anything like that I was a human, but I remembered how easy it was to lose myself. I just hoped that worse didn't come to worse. It was strange how even in the world of immortality there was always the possibility for something unexpected.

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**Okay, so I think you all know what's going to happen next so I won't ask. Thanks to Shelby for betaing, and thanks to you people for reading! **

**Hufflepuffbrunette**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey readers! Sorry this took so long, first my computer died about half way through the chapter so I had to redo it, then I had some slight edititing issues, but enjoy because I still don't own Twilight.**

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Chapter 21.

We thought it was strange that when we got home from the wedding the door was locked. We knew we had left it unlocked when we left because Irina was going to be there and we didn't plan on being gone more than a few days. We had only been "robbed" once, and while we didn't kill him, I doubted that the robber would go back to a life of crime. So it would be odd, that Irina would leave the door locked. Carmen muttered something about her holing herself up and how she needed to get out some as she jammed her keys in the door and unlocked it with a few quick flicks of the wrist.

"Irina!" Kate called into the seemingly empty house, causing a little echo. There was no answer.

"We're home!" Tanya shouted, but there was still no answer.

"That's strange," Eleazar said as he started into the living room. We set out on a full search of the house for Irina, but she was nowhere to be found, nor was there a note of explanation, or any sign of where she may have gone.

"She probably just went hunting. She'll be back soon," Carmen said.

Kate and Tanya were beginning to worry, so Carmen set them on some housework to ease their minds as was her remedy to all problems. The hours passed and soon the possibility that she went out on a hunting expedition or even a trip to see the town's men was becoming more and more slight. As afternoon turned to evening Tanya and Kate went out to look for Irina in the fields surrounding our house, but even they knew they wouldn't find her. Where had she gone? We could only guess. I tried not to say aloud my suspicion that she had gone to Voltera to have herself killed in the absence of her soul mate. Of course, there were equally as dangerous things she may have set off to do such as going to face the wolves that killed Laurent.

After Kate and Tanya returned from their tireless search empty handed and unsatisfied with how things had turned out, they proceeded to call every vampire we knew and asked them to be on the look out. For a while the Cullens called daily to say they hadn't seen her, but about two weeks in they stopped. Our main relief was that we didn't receive news from the Volturi saying they had killed Irina, especially at her own request. They had refused Edward's pleas, but Irina had no power to offer them, they would lose nothing but perhaps our friendly regards were they to kill her.

The days passed into weeks and the weeks passed into months. Slowly our hopes of her return were fading, and Kate and Tanya were gradually moving from worrying to grieving.

I was playing chess with Kate one day, about three months after Irina's disappearance. She was beating me, but it was okay because as long as she was winning she couldn't shock me. The phone rang, but Kate kept her concentration as Tanya rushed to get it. It used to be that they would run to get it and sometimes even fight each other. Then we heard Tanya's shriek pierce the walls between us.

"IRINA!!!"

Kate flew up and ran towards the kitchen, where Tanya had taken the call, knocking over the chess board in the process. While I didn't bother to pick it up either, I walked at a leisurely pace to the kitchen where Kate and Tanya were having a tug of war with the phone. I hoped they hadn't hung up on her, but then I heard her ask if anyone was there. I snatched the phone with relative ease and ducked a punch from Tanya.

"Irina?" I asked, making sure it was really her.

"Hi Clara, look, I'm really sorry about leaving like I did. I just needed to go out and think, but I hope to be back soon. I might stop by to see the Cullens and make amends for not going to the wedding, but I should be back in a few days at the most," Irina explained.

"We're just glad you're okay," I said. Kate waggled her finger at me. "I have to go. Kate is threatening to electrocute me if I don't give her the phone."

"Alright," Irina laughed. "Give Carmen and Eleazar my love as there's no chance they'll get the phone."

"Okay, I will, bye," I said, making a point of the bye as I tossed the phone to Kate and scrambled out of the room before she could zap me.

I wandered up to Carmen and Eleazar's room. Walking by I could see they were making out, but the door was open so I interrupted them. "Irina called. She says she's sorry she was gone so long and that she'll be back in a few days. She sends her love," I told them.

"Good to know," Eleazar said. "Thank you, Clara." He then got up and closed the door.

I figured that they would react more later when they weren't so distracted. Carmen would probably make us clean the house even though Irina lived with us. When I decided to risk being killed to go back into the kitchen, I found that Kate and Tanya were now off the phone.

"You want to go back to our game?" Kate asked.

"Only if you remember how the board was set up." I remembered how it was set up, but I didn't want her cheating, and I didn't want her thinking I was cheating.

Kate smirked. All the worry that had been lurking in her and Tanya's eyes was gone now and they were filled with joy and laughter. "Of course I remember how the board was set up." We went back to the living room where we set up the board, and then she towns proceeded to kick my butt.

A few days passed, and although Irina wasn't home, we weren't too worried. She was with the Cullens, which was one of the safest places she could be. Our only concern was that she would go after the wolves, but we figured Edward, back from his honeymoon, would be able to catch her and stop her should she decide to do that. Kate and Tanya had perked up considerably, and were now acting like their normal selves. After losing all prospects of marrying Edward herself, Tanya had taken many trips to the neighboring to get rid of her angst, and once she knew Irina was okay, Kate accompanied her. Still, each day that passed they became just a little more anxious. We had been expecting her to be gone for three days tops, and yet, it had been a week and we still hadn't heard from her.

As usual, Kate and Tanya raced for the phone as it rang on the seventh day after Irina's call. They kept waiting for some news from her, but so far the phones had been silent.

Using her power to her advantage, Kate won out and answered. "Hello?  
Oh, hi, Carlisle," Kate sighed.

Tanya slumped a little and started to walk away.

"Is everything okay?" Kate asked, her expression filled with concern. Tanya spun back around and we waited for his response. He asked us to come to their house, but he wouldn't tell Kate why. This triggered red flags in all of our heads. "What about Irina?" Kate asked. "What do you mean you haven't seen her?" Kate shrieked. "She said she was going to visit you!"

Kate and I scrunched in closer so we could hear what Carlisle was saying.

"Oh, yes, Alice did see that, but she must have changed her mind. Perhaps you can look for her while you're down here," Carlisle said quickly. The urgency in his voice made us think he might not be telling the truth, and yet the Cullens were our closest friends, and we had never had reason not to trust them before.

"Carmen and Eleazar are out hunting, but can we call you back?" Kate finally asked.

"Certainly, but I must remind you, this is an urgent matter and we wouldn't ask you if we didn't trust you as our friends, please reply quickly. The sooner we can have you down the better," he said. The worry in his voice was uncharacteristic of him. We had to wonder what would throw the normally even keeled man off so badly.

When Carmen and Eleazar arrived back home we told them about the call. They also seemed concerned that the Cullens would call with such urgency, but Carmen suspected it might be about Bella. Edward had been planning on turning her soon, and perhaps they needed help handling a newborn though I couldn't imagine why. Yes, a newborn was unpredictable and difficult to control, but with the seven of them, including Jasper and Alice whose powers did affect her, I didn't think they would have that much trouble. Bella must have one heck of a power.

Finally it was decided that everyone except for me would go to see what the Cullens wanted, and that I would stay here just in case Irina showed up. Kate and Tanya had actually fought for my spot, but Eleazar managed to convince Kate that her power would be needed, and Carmen told Tanya that Edward would be there, and if Bella accidentally ate someone he would need comforting. Mainly we didn't want for me to come because, should the Volturi come along to be sure Bella was in fact a vampire, we didn't want my presence to aggravate them further. Should they ask, we would say that I was at home and that Irina was watching me. The Volturi knew how strict Kate, Tanya, and Irina were with the law, especially since their mother, which was the only reason they trusted them with me, but we didn't want to risk that. It would be dangerous to both the Cullens and myself.

Not knowing how long they would be gone, they each packed a bag (or two in Carmen's case), before they left. Tanya packed Irina a bag as well in case she was there. I almost told her that it would be useless, Alice and Esme would have already bought anything needed, but I decided against it as she was almost finished when I saw her and asked.

They all waved as they left, and I settled down to enjoy some time by myself. In the past few years especially there was always someone else in the house, and even though I could often find an unoccupied room, it would be nice to have the whole house to myself for once.

I had borrowed Kate's ipod and was listening to some music. I was in the middle of a movie score when, just barely, I heard the blare of the phone over the music. Human ears may not have picked it up, but the pitch of the phone was completely out of place with the song, so I knew it wasn't in the music. I had the phone sitting next to me, and expected to see the Cullen's number on the Caller ID as Carmen had promised to call when she got there, but I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I said cautiously, not knowing who may be on the other end of the line.

"Clara?" Irina asked. Her voice sounded far off in the phone. I breathed a sigh of relief for a moment before she spoke again. "Are Tanya and Kate there?"

"No," I answered. "They all just left to see the Cullens. Some urgent business, but I stayed home, so if you want to come home I'll be here."

"They went to the Cullens?" Irina asked, slight panic rising in her voice.

"Yes…as I said, urgent business, and you said you were going to visit them. What is it?"

"It's…it's…" she stammered. "Well, I suppose they'll see when they get there."

"What?" I begged. I wasn't going, so I wouldn't see. I didn't want them getting hurt. I could try to catch up and warn them if necessary.

"You don't need to worry about it Clara. They'll see when they get there and…" she paused before carefully phrasing her next statement, "I think it would be easier for Carmen or Eleazar to tell you what they've done than it would for me."

I shook my head despite the fact she wouldn't be able to see the gesture. "Alright, I'll wait for them to call. Do you have anything you'd like for me to tell them?" I asked.

"Not particularly," Irina said. "Just tell them I'm sorry I was late. I'm sure they'll understand after they see what the Cullens have done. I'll come back home when it's all over, okay? I'm glad you didn't go, it would be dangerous for you to have gone with them, especially with the Volturi coming."

"The Volturi? Are you in Italy?" I asked, the shock washing over me.

"I am. As much as I love the Cullens I had to tell the Volturi. It's too important to ignore."

She had flown all the way to Italy to report the Cullens crime to the Volturi? This had to be serious. Although I wanted to keep talking to Irina, I had to keep the line open in case Carmen called. I was dying to know what had happened now. "So I'll see you in a while then?" I asked.

"Probably, I know the Volturi are slow moving, but they'll want to move quickly for this."

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**Alright, I hope you liked it. I'd like to thank you all for being such good readers and reviewers, and say that although I start school on Tuesday I hope to continue to post within reasonable amounts of time. Thanks :) **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hello! I know, long time, no post. School started for me and since I'm a junior in high school taking 3 AP classes my homework has taken all my writing time (I've missed my characters terribly), but luckily this weekend I found some time to write this chapter. :) Hope you enjoy.

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Chapter 22.

I eagerly waited all afternoon for Carmen or Eleazar to return my messages. As much as I had wanted some alone time, I was completely bored about five hours after Irina had called, and I thought it was a bit late for them not to have arrived. Yes they were running from Alaska, but it generally didn't take more than eight hours to run there. Vampire running was about as efficient as flying unless one was crossing large oceans. Therefore, when there was a knock on the door, I was more than surprised. I would have thought Carmen would have at least called if they were returning unexpectedly, and Irina was in Italy.

"Who is it?" I asked; low enough that if it were a human visitor such as the post man or a robber, he wouldn't hear me.

"It's me, doll face," the voice behind the door said. I could almost see the smirk on his face as he said it.

I smiled. I never thought he was coming back, yet there he was, on the other side of the door. Flinging the door open I jumped into his arms. "Randall!" I squealed.

"I see you missed me," he grinned.

"I missed you a lot," I corrected, looking up at him. "Did you hear about the Cullens?" I asked.

"That's exactly where I was heading," he said, a small grin on his face. "They say that they have an immortal child."

"Irina saw it," I told him. "She went to the Volturi."

"That's what I've heard. Strange, huh?" he asked.

"No, immortal children irresponsible and a danger to everyone around them, not to mention that turning a child into a vampire is a horribly cruel thing to do."

Randall cocked his head to the side a little. "I would have thought you would have thought about it differently than them. After all, had yours been born it would have likely been an immortal infant."

That took me by surprise and my hands unconsciously found their way to their familiar places on either side of my stomach. It had been a long time since I had thought in terms of had I given birth to the baby after my turn. I knew that an immortal child was a danger; vampire strength did not work well with a child's mentality, but what about an infant? Infants simply weren't built to be mobile just after coming out of the womb. I played with images of demon cherubs running around in my head, but nothing seemed to work. An immortal infant would have to be bottle fed, and while this would be a burden, how often and what it ate would be up to the caretakers. Instead of killing people, it might just burst ear drums with its crying.

With that I was able to take a stance I was comfortable with. "That's different."

Randall shook his head, his hair falling into his face. "Sure it is Clara, sure it is." He pulled out a hair tie from his pocket and pulled his hair up into its familiar short pony tail. It made me think of revolutionary times although he was born after the Revolutionary War. "Well," he said, "we better get going, we've got a lot of land to cover and I know you're not used to traveling?"

"We?" I asked. There was no "we" going to Forks.

"Of course! You don't think I would leave you here by yourself, do you? You have to be under constant supervision, and well, no one seems to be here but you."

"You could stay," I suggested. I really wanted to try again with Randall, I felt bad about how I had rejected him before

"We don't really have time for that," he said. Then I spotted a female vampire running up the hill. First she was just a dot in the distance, but as she came closer I could see her wavy black hair flying up above her head.

She smiled as she ran even closer and grabbed Randall's hand. "Hi, I'm Mary."

"Clara," I said warily as she continued to hold his hand.

"Randall's told me a lot about you. So are we ready to go?" she asked.

"Just about," Randall smiled, kissing her cheek. "So are you coming with us?"

Did I really see what I thought I had just seen? Randall said he loved me the last time we talked, and in the matter of a few years he had found someone else? I knew that it was my fault. I had told him that I wasn't ready; in fact, I told him that I wouldn't be ready until after my baby came out. Using this logic, it was perfectly acceptable for Randall to have a relationship with Mary, but I had been wrong in my thinking. I had been ready then, I just didn't want to accept it, and now it seemed that it was too late.

"Yeah," I said. "Just give me a second." I ran up and packed a small bag with clothes, my cell phone (they made me get one for when I went hunting alone), key to the house, a hairbrush, I stole Kate's ipod again and packed it, just in case we had to stop anywhere and I didn't feel like listening to Randall and Mary being romantic. Thinking of that I also took a large wad of cash I kept in my sock drawer, just in case I should need to pay for a separate hotel room. While upon Carmen and Eleazar's insistence I did have money in the bank, I didn't trust banks. Maybe it was just that I grew up during the end of the Great Depression, but I did not like the thought of not physically having money.

After I had packed everything, I came back down the stairs where Randall and Mary were making out on the couch. As soon as they heard me they stopped, but I had seen them. "I'm ready," I said a little impatiently, slinging the strap of the suitcase over my shoulder. Randall and Mary carried nothing, but then, they were nomads. I remembered Randall nagging me about my suitcase when we traveled together.

"Alright," Randall said, getting off the couch.

I managed to make small talk with them for the first several miles, but by the time we got to Canada it was quiet. Every now and then I would glance over and see Randall and Mary exchanging smiles or mouthing words to each other. I had two main reactions to this. My first one was to be disgusted and look the other way, but by the time they were out of my view, my imagination went on autopilot and I was pretending that Mary wasn't there, that it was just Randall and I, and that I was the one he loved.

While I was in the middle of one of these fantasies, I felt something wet fall on my head. It was cloudy out, but still, I looked up in hopes that there would be a bird nearby. Frankly, I would much rather have bird poop on my head than have to be cooped up with the lovebirds. I had gotten used to Carmen and Eleazar be relatively secretive about their love life, and it had been a while since I had been kicked out so people could make out. Unfortunately, there wasn't a bird to be found, and soon Randall and Mary also noticed the rain.

"You want to stop somewhere?" Randall asked.

I sighed. I was starting to wear down a little. I was having trouble keeping up with them and a little breather would be nice. "If you want," I finally said.

"Alright, we'll just stop there for a while," Randall said, gesturing to a small-town restaurant just up the road.

We slowed down to a human's walking pace before we got there and walked in, a little bell ringing as we opened the door.

The waitress, a girl who may have just graduated high school, smiled at Randall and seated us. "Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, only looking at Randall.

"No, we're fine," he said, smiling.

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but my manager will kill me if I let you just sit here without buying anything."

I didn't see why. Only one other table was taken, and at it was sitting an elderly couple, eating slowly on their meal.

"What if we paid for someone else's food? You see, our car broke down, it'll be a while before it will be ready and we just wanted to get out of the rain," Randall lied smoothly, a slight smile coming across his lips. There had been a service station just up the road.

"Oh," the waitress said. "I suppose in that case I could let you stay."

"Great, we'll pay for their food," Randall said, gesturing towards the elderly couple across the restaurant.

"That's very generous with you. I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Johnson would appreciate that very much. I'll be back to check on you all in a little while." The waitress walked off.

"I'll pay," I said, pulling out my wad of cash and pulling out a twenty. By the look I had gotten at the menu I figured that would be enough.

"I couldn't let you do that," Randall said, reaching into his own pocket.

"I want to," I said. Seeing Randall always reminded me of my first few years of being a vampire, and seeing them made me think of my massacre at the church. I remembered not caring as I killed an elderly couple, and the very least I could do now was pay for this couple's meal.

"We'll wait until the waitress comes back," Mary said, trying to settle the dispute. "So, Clara, I've heard about your diet. Is it harder?"

I shrugged. "It's not that bad once you get used to it. The blood isn't as good, but it does the job. The main benefit is that you aren't killing people and can settle. Of course, I still can't be seen anywhere for a particularly long time."

"Mary and I have been thinking of switching over, maybe starting our own little coven should there be anyone else who wants to join us. We're kind of hoping to get some recruits while at the Cullens' there should be a lot of vampires there, maybe you could give us some pointers." Randall said, wrapping his arm around Mary.

I had to imagine he was wrapping his arm around me to get myself to smile. "You should do that," I said softly. What I meant was "You should do that with me," but I didn't think that would go over very well.

Randall and Mary told me their plan to move to small town Arkansas to get started. They actually had a lot of the detail planned out. By the time the rain let up and I had snuck the money to pay for the food of the elderly couple to the waitress so that Randall wouldn't stop me, we were ready to go again. The conversation had fallen a little flat. I would have talked more if it was just Randall and I, but Mary almost seemed to be a buffer to my thoughts. My wish that she wasn't there distracted me from thinking of other things. Therefore, the run through Canada to Forks Washington was quiet to say the least. Randall tried a couple of times to get conversation going, but nothing happened.

"Are we lost?" Mary asked after we had run a couple of laps around Forks. I'd been to the Cullens' a few times, but I hadn't memorized the route yet.

"No," Randall protested. "I know exactly where we're going. Emmett gave me directions."

"Right…" Mary said sarcastically, but then the scent of vampires was evident. There had to be a lot of them there for it to be this strong.

We ran towards them and soon the Cullens' white house came into view. The door opened, and Edward came out.

"I'm glad you all could make it," he said. "Now, I know you've heard things, but I need you all to keep an open mind. She's not what you think."

For a moment I was confused. Then I saw the door opened again. Bella, as a vampire, came out, and she was holding the child, a pretty little girl with reddish brown ringlets and a slight flush to her cheeks. Despite her apparent youth, not looking over a year old, looked at us and deliberately smiled. I stopped thinking as the world turned upside down.

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**I hope you people aren't to angry with me for leaving you with a cliff hanger like that. I know you've been looking forward to next chapter since I brought up cannon Twilight. I'll try to get it finished as quickly as I can! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Also, thanks to Megan for letting me brainstorm on her and proofing the chappie. **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey! Here's the new chapter, I'm proud of myself for getting it up in a decent amount of time :D . I really really really hope you enjoy it. It's kind of a high pressure chapter for me as you all have been asking about it in your reviews since I mentioned cannon Twilight. Enjoy!**

**One more note: Jacob does not imprint on Renesmee in this story. It is a part of my not owning Clara. I'm sorry if you are an infamous Jake/Nessie shipper and are horribly upset.

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Chapter 23.

The child in front of us was not an immortal child. There were too many things that weren't characteristic of a vampire. The flush to her cheeks, her rapid heartbeat, her mature gaze, all of those things said that she wasn't a vampire. And yet. And yet she looked like a fair mix of Edward and Bella. She looked like she could be their daughter. Her heartbeat was not that of a human's, and even if she wasn't an immortal child she was still enchanting, far too enchanting to be human. It was almost as if she were a fairy or a pixie, and considering there were vampires and werewolves, there could be pixies and fairies, right?

"This is our daughter Renesmee," Edward said, gesturing to the child.

"Your...daughter?" I said quickly, my voice filled with disbelief. There was no way Edward could father a child. Vampires couldn't have children, I knew that better than anyone.

Edward's response was confident. "Yes."

"How?" Randall asked. "Vampires, can't have children," he said, echoing my thoughts.

"Bella was human when she became pregnant, yes, by me, and she was human when she gave birth," Edward explained.

How was that fair at all? Male vampires could father children, but female vampires couldn't be the mothers of them? To my knowledge, Edward and Bella had never even wanted a child.

What did the wolves think of this? Would this delay our friendly relations further? Would Edward and Bella's miracle baby keep me like this indefinitely?

I knew these were selfish thoughts to have, and that Edward could hear every one of them, but at that point I didn't care. I had just run all the way here to see an immortal child, and instead right in front of me is the proof that vampires could have children, and that if my baby was dead then it was my own fault.

"Why should we believe you? How do we know that it's not just an illusion?" Mary asked warily. I hadn't thought of this. It gave me a slight hope that it was all a sham. That she was appearing to be part human in an attempt to try and get us to accept the her, like a venus fly trap using it's scent to lure in its victims.

"She'll show you," Bella said. I was almost startled. The last time I saw Bella she was a human, but now she was one of us. It was an adjustment. I wondered how she was able to hold the child with a pulse and not devour her. Of course, she didn't exactly smell like food, but the blood did smell human enough to be edible, and Bella was a newborn. There had to be a risk. Mary could be right, this could be a trick, either created by Bella, or by the child herself.

Renesmee reached out to us and Randall cautiously took her into his arms. She smiled, her smile was like Edward's, very mischievous. She softly put her hand to Randall's cheek and he gasped. "What's this?"

"That's her power, it's the opposite of mine," Edward chuckled.

"You have to see this," Randall said, handing Renesmee to me. Her little body fit nicely over the baby bump. Her skin was warm, it almost reminded me of that of the wolves. For a moment I wondered if Renesmee couldn't be the child of the wolf that Bella was so close to, but Edward frowned immensely at this thought and shook his head.

Having her in my arms brought feelings I hadn't felt in a long time. There was a warmth, other than her physical body heat, that came made itself felt. I couldn't help but smile gently. I was still conflicted about whether I was actually feeling this, or it was just part of the illusion, part of the way an immortal child uses its charm.

Renesmee took her hand to my face and suddenly I saw something. It was like a thought in my head, as I could see everything around me, but I saw our arrival in great detail, down to the fact that Renesmee thought Alice was going to make me change my shoes. Immediately after that the image of Renesmee's birth came into my head, bloody and violent, let laced with relief and love. Showing thoughts, the opposite of Edward's power.

"Wow," I finally managed, looking down at her. She smiled and put her hand on me again. She showed all the other vampires arriving. From what she showed me there were a lot of vampires here. I wondered if they knew about Irina, if Carlisle had simply called us here to show off his granddaughter, or if he knew that Irina had seen, if, from knowing her, he deduced that she had gone to the Volturi.

Mary reached out, now curious to see Renesmee's power, and I let her take Renesmee

My arms felt strangely cold in Renesmee's absence. I wasn't used to holding warm things. Edward caught my eyes for a moment and smiled a little. Bella caught my glance as well, but she didn't smile, she actually frowned slightly. That caught me a little off guard.

Before the Volturi's mandate, there had been much debate among the Cullens about whether Bella had to be changed or not. Some believed that if Bella wanted to change that Edward should let her, but others, myself included, thought that she had no idea what she was getting into. All she saw was the strength and the speed and the sparkling skin, she knew of our thirst, but she had never felt the blistering ache in her throat. She knew of the grief that came with immortality, but she had never watched everyone she knew and loved die. She knew that we didn't age, but she didn't know the longing to change, to grow old and die. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't know what she was asking for.

With a child though, because I assumed that Edward's genes would make her immortal, or at least expand her life span far beyond that of a human, Bella had something to endure all the pain for. There was Edward and the Cullens of course, but a child was something else altogether. A child was a part of her that she would sacrifice the rest of herself for. She had that drive. She had no reason to frown.

"Please, do come in," Edward said, formally as ever.

Mary handed Renesmee back to Bella and we went inside. There were somewhere between fifteen and twenty other vampires there, many of whom I didn't recognize. Apparently, they had all heard of me though. I got very few stares, but whether that was more because of politeness or knowledge I didn't know. Finally after searching half the house I found Carmen with Esme, she was touring the house although we had already seen it multiple times.

"Carmen!" I called as she was inspecting some of Esme's china. Esme looked over first, more grateful for my presence than surprised by it.

"Clara?" Carmen asked, walking over to me. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"I certainly hope so,"' I said. "Irina called, she went to Volterra about Renesmee, so Randall brought me here."

Both Carmen's and Esme's eyes went wide for a moment, but they regained her composure quickly, Esme first, her face quickly switching between looks of knowing and shock.

"Perhaps we should talk about this later...with the rest of the family?" Carmen asked.

"I think that would be good," I agreed.

"I'm not sure where the others are, but I know Kate is out somewhere with Garrett if you'd like me to go get her," Esme offered.

"That's alright Esme, we'll get them all together eventually. We'll let her and Tanya have a few more moments of peace. I'll tell Eleazar you're here though," Carmen said, leaving the room.

"By the way Clara, we're so glad to have you," Esme said. "As you may have guessed, things have been a little hectic around here," she added, giving me a strained smile.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

Esme thought for a moment. "I don't think so, but I've set Alice and Rosalie on most of it."

Suddenly there was a large crashing from the next room. Esme and I rushed to see what it was and were greeted with the sight of Esme's silver all over the floor. In the corner, banging what appeared to be two candlesticks together and giggling with delight, was Renesmee.

Esme gasped and rushed over, snatching the candlesticks from her. "No! We don't play with that!" she exclaimed. I could tell she was close to her tipping point.

"Don't worry Esme, I'll take care of it," I offered.

"No," Esme sighed. "I'll do it, this is the 17th century silver Carlisle gave me for our 50th anniversary. I like it organized in a particular way. Can you just watch Renesmee for me?"

I nodded. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to be around her, she was a reminder of what I could never have, but I supposed it would satisfy some sort of internal curiosity. I picked her up before she could get to anymore of the silverware and took her out of the room. Once we had settled down on the living room couch, she put her hand on my cheek, again I was surprised by the warmth. The thought like images came and I saw Esme and I coming into the room, but the focus was mostly on Esme's face, slightly horrified at the sight of the mangled silver, then skipped directly to the scolding. When she removed her hand I saw her eyes were asking. It was likely no one had ever scolded her before.

"She's just stressed," I reassured Renesmee.

She sighed exasperatedly and leaned her head on my chest, lazily throwing her hand to my cheek again. It was a repeat of all the vampires coming, quickly followed by a longing memory of what I supposed was right after she was born, when only the Cullens occupied the house.

My thoughts immediately went to Irina. The Cullens had to have known that Irina saw Renesmee, why else would they congregate an army of vampires. From what Renesmee showed me they certainly hadn't been planning it before.

How Irina had mistaken Renesmee, with her rosy cheeks and heart beat for an immortal child, I didn't know, but I hoped the Volturi would be merciful because she was something the world had never seen before.

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**Okay, as I have said, I really hope you liked this chapter and that I didn't screw it up. If it makes you feel better I will continue to build the whole Clara/Renesmee relationship throughout her stay with the Cullens, it's sort of a thing that builds up. Anyway, review if you please, and thanks to my betas and readers. :D**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi readers, I'm really really really sorry about how long this chapter took, this year is kind of crazy with my classes and writing time is precious :P. Because I've been getting a lot of comments on it, I'd like to make it clear that I have not read Breaking Dawn recently and while I do do reasearch when I am not sure about something specific, I do get the facts and timing wrong sometimes, any inconsistencies with the book are my mistake and I apologize. Hope you enjoy this chapter. :)**

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Chapter 24.

Finally, as the sun was setting that evening, everyone was at the house at the same time and we had managed to have a family meeting. Carlisle and Esme had loaned us Carlisle's library, shutting it off from everyone else, and we were now all seated. I had explained to Kate and Tayna why I was here, and now we were going to try to figure out what we were going to do.

"We need to go to Volterra and get her before she makes a huge mistake!" Kate exclaimed.

"They'll already be gone by now," Carmen sighed. "It'd be nearly impossible to find them in time."

"What do you think they'll do?" Tanya asked. As the youngest sister she was the most anxious about this, sitting on the floor in the corner, eyes wide, biting her lower lip, knees pulled up to her chest.

None of us knew. Even Carlisle, who had lived with them for several years, couldn't read their disposition at any given time. There was the possibility for them to see this as a positive, progress, and leave the Cullens to their business once it was proved Renesmee wouldn't hurt anyone. On the other hand, they might not want to listen; they might just want to kill her to be safe. It appeared to me though, that good results for the Cullens would mean bad results for us. If they thought Irina had called them out for nothing and were going to leave the Cullens be, then they would kill her, but if they decided to spare, or even reward her, they would likely either kill Renesmee or take her away for experimentation.

"It's easy to see that she's not an immortal child," I started slowly. "But it's also easy enough to see how someone could mistake her for one, especially if they weren't told otherwise," I said, trying to rationalize a win-win situation.

"I doubt they'll care about that," Kate interjected; there was a dullness in her voice, a loss of hope. "They hate being all riled up for nothing."

"You call this nothing?" I asked in disbelief. "A human and vampire hybrid has been created. This challenges almost every assumption that we've made about ourselves. This is almost equivalent to Carlisle's discovery of animal blood." If there was the possibility of a male vampire spreading his sperm to human eggs and fertilizing them, then maybe there was some sort of hope for my baby, maybe the venom simply preserved her life, paused it, instead of taking it away.

"It's not what they're expecting," Kate sighed.

"What do you want us to do, Kate? Create an immortal child so they can kill it?" Eleazar asked. Kate got a strange look on her face. "That was a rhetorical question," he quickly added.

"Have you been able to get any contact with her?" Carmen asked.

I shook my head no. "Irina left her phone at home, she called me on a pay phone, and you know the Volturi are too set in their ways to adapt to the twenty-first century."

"What do we do then?" Tanya asked.

"I don't think there's anything we can do," Carmen sighed. "I suppose we just have to wait and hope for the best."

With that, Tanya began to cry. Kate walked over to comfort Tanya, but before she reached Tanya she had begun to sob as well. Carmen, Eleazar, and I glanced at each other sadly. They had already lost their mother due to the Volturi's law against immortal children, and were now facing a stark possibility of losing their sister to it too.

"Girls, she wouldn't want you to cry, everything will be fine," Carmen said gently.

"W-what if it isn't?" Tanya started before dissolving into sobs again.

"Then what can we do?" Carmen asked, more firmly this time. "There's no need to torture yourself, if there's anything we need to do, we'll do it when the time comes."

This was the final verdict and no one else said anything after. After about an hour of silent thought we left one by one. Eleazar first, muttering something about meeting Carlisle, then Carmen, who left silently. Finally I got up and walked away. Carmen was right, there was nothing we could do for now.

As I came down the stairs I saw a flash of silvery blonde hair from below. At first I thought it was Irina and was going to scream out her name, but then I realized it was someone else. "Charlotte!" I called.

She spun around and squealed. "Clara!" She ran to hug me. "Peter and I missed you so much! How are you?"

"I'm fine," I smiled. "I've been living with the Denali coven since '91. They're very hospitable and I've become part of the family so to speak. What have you and Peter been up to?" I asked. "Besides the obvious," I added as Charlotte had gotten that look in her eyes.

"Well, you know, the same, wandering, just living, it's getting harder to find odd jobs…we really have missed you though."

"Maybe we could get Jasper and Peter and do something together, like the old times," I suggested.

Charlotte looked down. "Jasper kind of left."

"What?" I asked. Perhaps I hadn't heard correctly. Even if I had I didn't understand. Jasper had left where, and to do what? I was afraid for the worst news, a permanent leaving, the kind that can only be caused by another vampire or the wolves.

"He and Alice just up and left before we got here. Something about how it wasn't in their best interests to stay. It doesn't seem like him to me, but he obviously did it. He's not here," Charlotte explained.

"But Renesmee showed me…" I started, remembering how she had thought Alice was going to make me change my shoes. I hadn't seen Alice, but I thought that was mere coincidence.

"She probably just misses them," Charlotte said. "They're all pretty upset about it. Jasper chose a good coven; they care about him a lot. That's why it doesn't make sense to me that he would leave them."

She was right, that didn't make sense. Jasper not staying to defend his own niece when so many who hardly knew her were willing to do so? How could he do that? He had seemed slightly stressed the last few times I talked to him, but he never seemed discontented with his family, he hadn't given any hint of his wanting to leave. It was just out of character. Something was up, but I had no way of knowing what it was. Hopefully he would return with a good reason for his leaving when this was over.

"So I know it's been awhile and everything, but if you ever want to come on the road with us you're certainly welcome to," Charlotte said after a few moments of silence.

I sighed. "Thanks, but I kind of can't leave my coven, orders from the Volturi…besides, it just wouldn't be the same without Jasper."

"I know," Charlotte said.

Just then Randall and Mary walked by, hand in hand. "Hey, isn't that Randall?" Charlotte asked.

"Yes, he came and brought me." I stared after them; my hand longed to be in his and I let my fingers curl, pretending they were wrapping around his.

Charlotte gave me a knowing look. She took my hand and dragged me into the kitchen. "You like him don't you?" she asked.

"No, he has a girlfriend." I couldn't like him if he had a girlfriend; that would be rude.

"He's not here, you can tell me," Charlotte said.

I sighed. I wasn't going to get out of telling her, she already knew, she just craved the confirmation. I also hoped that should Randall hear that I was interested, he might want to try again. "Apparently, he'd liked me for a long time, and not long ago, maybe ten years ago, he told me so, but I told him I wasn't ready, but seeing Irina lose Laurent like she did, and settling down and the possibility of getting my baby out…"

"You might get your baby out?" Charlotte interrupted.

"Well, considering it was dependent on the wolves, not anymore. But yes, there was the possibility. Anyway, my point was, that I realized that I had fallen for him, but now I'm just afraid it's too late."

Charlotte sighed and rubbed my shoulder. "Just be patient, if it was meant to be it'll happen."

"What'll happen?" a familiar voice from behind us asked.

"None of your business," Charlotte said.

"Clara? Is that you? And you're still pregnant?" Peter asked. At first I thought he was kidding, but he had a look of pure seriousness and shock on his face.

"Peter!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Going with my gut instinct I rolled my eyes. "No Peter, I just can't get rid of this damn baby-fat."

Charlotte and Peter exchanged glances. "You haven't heard the rumors yet?" Peter asked.

"No…" I said slowly. "What rumors?" I couldn't think of anything particularly scandalous I had done aside from being pregnant, but I thought that the initial shock wave had passed by now. I had met a fair number of vampires, particularly nomads. Perhaps coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Well," Charlotte started. "Some people think that Renesmee is your child. There's this whole conspiracy theory about how you all and the Cullens are in cahoots trying to legalize the creation of immortal children."

"That's ridiculous!" I exclaimed. "Obviously I'm still pregnant! Why would we be in cahoots with them if Irina was the one who went to the Volturi about it? Who would make up this stuff?"

"I know," Charlotte said softly. "It _is_ ridiculous. That's why no one here believes it." She seemed to be saying it more to Peter than me though. She continued to glare at him until he looked down.

"I'm sorry I even considered believing the conspiracy theory," Peter mumbled. "Are you satisfied?" he asked Charlotte under his breath.

"It's okay Peter; I haven't talked to you guys for so long, you really had no way of knowing what I was up to."

"PETER! CHARLOTTE! IT'S YOUR TURN!" We heard a shout come from upstairs. Peter and Charlotte both grinned mischievously.

"Since there's so many of us we have to take turns you know…using the beds," Peter said.

I groaned internally. Peter and Charlotte laughed and raced upstairs. I was thinking the Cullens would have been better off renting out the entire Holiday Inn for all of us to stay at, but then Rosalie and Emmett came downstairs and I realized who the room hogs were. At least thirty vampires, five bedrooms, rumors and drama (although I do admit those were brought about by me), an indefinite waiting period, this was going to be interesting.

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**Okay, I'm sure you know the drill, thanks to my betas, readers, and reviews, please fall into two of the three categories haha. **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi readers! Surprisingly I was able to write this in a day :) . Obviously I don't own Twilight because if I did I wouldn't get something wrong in every chapter that that has direct relation to cannon Twilight. Sorry about that by the way. Hope you enjoy it!**

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Chapter 25.

It was official, Mary hated me. I hated her too of course, but although she didn't know it she had better reason. It started a few days after I had arrived. Every time I saw Randall and Mary together, it seared the regret of my not taking him when he had wanted me right back into my heart. At first I tried to avoid them, doing everything I could not to be in the same room as them, but sometimes it was hard to avoid. One of these instances was when Amun and Carlisle had their falling out. As always, the rooms were pretty crowded, and when Amun began to scream that Carlisle was stealing his coven, the tension in the room was too thick to move through. As he and Benjamin fought about Benjamin's loyalties, I kept my gaze away from them, hoping to avoid getting myself into the altercation. From what I had heard, Amun agreed with the Romanians in being undecided about the rumors even though I was obviously still pregnant. Apparently the conspiracy ran deeper than Charlotte knew.

Of course, with my gaze away from the action, Randall and Mary were the only other people who caught my attention. Randall had his arm wrapped around Mary's waist, her hand rested on top of his, holding him there. He caught my gaze, raised his eyebrows; his message was clear enough, "People are crazy, huh?" I nodded and he went back to Mary, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

I tried to find something else to stare at, but unless I looked at the floor or the ceiling, I was staring at something, not only were there people in the room, but there were people who had crowded in the doorways, trying to see what all the commotion was about. Somehow, my eyes always found their way back to them, and Mary caught me looking. Her expression rapidly changed from confused to an angry scowl back to confused, she finally settled back to her contented look, turning her head away to look at Randall.

Finally the fight began to simmer down and the crowd dispersed. I was able to get out of the room and away from Randall and Mary. Or Randall at least. Mary followed me through the hall, the kitchen the dining room, up and down the stairs, and finally outside. I walked far enough into the woods that we could have a private conversation. "I guess you want to talk to me?" I asked her, turning around by the river that ran a couple hundred yards from the Cullen's house.

"Yes, I had a question."

"Alright…"

"Is my hair doing something crazy?" she asked very deliberately.

I was confused. Did she follow me all the way out here to ask that? By her tone I thought she was going to yell at me. "No," I answered.

"Does my outfit look insane?"

"No." I didn't like where this was going.

"Did you have any reason at all to stare at me?"

"No," things were becoming clearer. "I didn't mean to stare, there just weren't that many places to look, I was bound to be staring at someone," I said.

"Is that right?" she asked impatiently. She looked like she was about to explode with anger.

I didn't know what to think, so I just stared.

"I know, Clara," she said flatly.

"Know what?" There wasn't much to know. I thought I had hid my love for Randall pretty well, and she said I was staring at her, not Randall.

"I know how you turned him down, broke his heart. You had your chance, so don't come looking for him now because he's moved on!"

I sighed. That hurt more than I had expected. "I know. I'm not expecting anything. I just regret my decision."

"Then stop staring at the two of us if you know it's your fault! I'm getting sick and tired of your _golden_ eyes following us around." For a second this comment confused me, but then I realized what she was saying. Randall and I were different, I hunted animals, but he had yet to make the switch, she was implying this was why we didn't belong together. Somehow, I couldn't believe that. I knew the only reason it wasn't me in his arms was that we had never gotten the timing right. We belonged together, I knew it, but it seemed like we weren't meant to be. Mary stared me down with her fresh red eyes. "It's me and him. Get over it."

"Alright," I said defensively. "I'm sorry that I made a wrong decision to your benefit, but perhaps I wouldn't stare as much if you weren't all over each other at every possible opportunity!" If she didn't want me to be jealous, she shouldn't flaunt her boyfriend in my face. If she already knew I liked him, she could at least have the decency to respect that I didn't like to see the man I loved with another girl, even if it was my own fault.

"In case you hadn't notice, every couple does the same thing, some more so than us." She turned around and started to walk away, but then she stopped. Her head swung back to face me and she smirked. "By the way, you're not really pregnant if the baby is dead, you're just fat."

Did she really just say that? I was stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't even think to chase after her and kick her ass, much less think up some sort of come back. How could she even think to bring my baby into this? I was frozen to the spot, even when my legs collapsed under me and I was in the cold wet snow. I was too stunned to move until the sobs came. Once the sobs came that was it, there was no going back, if I had to I would stay here and cry forever, but there was no way I was going to go back to that house where people thought my pregnancy was a hoax, my baby no more than permanent body fat.  
I had been in the snow for at least an hour when I heard footsteps. The snow had soaked my clothes and my hair, but I knew I wasn't going to get sick, so I didn't care. My sobs came so quickly that by human standards I would be hyperventilating, but it wasn't like I needed the oxygen. Still, when I heard the footsteps, I was curious. Mary was the only one who knew I was out here. Was she coming to apologize or was she coming only to wound me more. I sat up looked to see him. He didn't see me at first. It seemed like he was just strolling, there was the easy rhythm to his step that he used when we used to walk though crowded city streets. When saw me, he quickened his pace and sat down beside me.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

How was I supposed to answer that? How was I supposed to tell him that no, everything was not okay and that it killed me to see him with Mary, and that even though I knew it was wrong I still loved him? How could I tell him about how the girl he loved had hurt me so much, and knowingly done so? I didn't know. So I didn't. Instead I started to cry again.

"Please, tell me what's wrong," Randall begged, wrapping his arms around me. His embrace felt so right, but Mary's words echoed in my mind. _"It's me and him. Get over it."_

I shook my head. It was too late; I was too dissolved to explain now. I just shook my head and let myself sink into his arms.

"Whenever you're ready," he said softly.

There was no ready. I would never be ready to hurt him by telling him what Mary did to me. I couldn't hurt him by making him choose when he had already made his choice. "It's not…I can't…I don't know how…" I finally stammered.

Randall looked down at me. "This didn't work last time, and I know I'm going to regret it later, but I have to do it."

He moved his hand to my cheek and leaned closer. I knew it was coming this time. I couldn't believe it was happening, but I knew it was coming. He pressed his lips to mine and it was magic, the kind of magic I hadn't felt since Robert. It was love.

This time I was not the one to pull away, it was Randall.

"No, wait, this is wrong, I have a girlfriend," he said although more to himself than me.

"I love you," I said softly, knowing it would do nothing.

"I…I love you too, but…I can't do this right now, not when I have…I'm sorry," he shook his head, got up, and left. He walked away, and I didn't chase after him. I wondered why I was so stupid, why I didn't get up and go after him, why I didn't defend my feelings, but then I realized it. I loved him just that much. I loved him just that much that I would let him walk away from me without a struggle if that was how I could avoid hurting him.

I looked around, there was nothing here. I got up, brushed off my clothes, and walked away. I heard the footsteps again. The crunch of the snow was unmistakable. Two people walking, one of them was short. I headed towards the footsteps until I saw Bella and Renesmee on the horizon. Bella's eyes were that just fed golden color, and Renesmee had a satisfied grin on her face, she seemed a little tired from her hunt.

"Clara!" Bella called.

As much as I didn't want to talk to anyone, I made my way over to them. Do you think you could watch Renesmee for a little while? I have to talk to Edward about some things." When Renesmee's back was turned she mouthed the words "Christmas presents."

I nodded. Being with Renesmee did make me feel better, much like Rosalie I liked to pretend that Renesmee was my child.

"I'll be back in a little while, honey, just stay with Clara okay?"

"Alright Momma," Renesmee said. Her voice always enthralled me. Her charm was almost unreal. She had grown an inch and a half since my arrival and she grew mentally by leaps and bounds. Bella and Edward were worried she would live and die within the span of a few years. Bella ran off and Renesmee grabbed my hand and we continued to walk. "Clara, I have a question for you," Renesmee said.

While the last time I heard this, I didn't want to know, I felt much better with Renesmee around. "Yes, what is it sweetie?"

"When are you going to have your baby? I don't mean to say that I don't have fun with everyone here, but I kind of want someone my own age to play with."

I sighed. "Renesmee, your mother carried you for about a month, and I've been carrying my baby for fifty-eight years, I don't think I'll be having my baby."

"Why is it taking your baby so long?" Renesmee asked. She stopped me and called into my stomach. "Hello in there! Hurry up and come out! We want to play with you!" She pressed her hand to my stomach and I saw the smiling images of everyone at the Cullen house.

"Renesmee, I don't think the baby can hear you. Do you know how your mom and dad make their kills?"

"They use their venom," Renesmee answered.

"And what happens when they use their venom?"

"The animal dies and they eat it."

"Exactly, and you see, there's venom inside me too, and while I survived it, the baby might not have."

"So you might never have your baby?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry," she said, hanging her head and shuffling along like she wished she had never asked.

"It's alright Renesmee, fifty-eight years is a long time, it's not so bad anymore."

We walked silently for a little while before Renesmee stopped again. "I'm sleepy," she yawned.

"That's what happens when you have a full tummy and you can sleep," I chuckled. She reached for me to pick her up and I obliged, carrying her back to the house, she was asleep before we got there.

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**Alright, so as always thanks to Megan and Shelby for Beta-ing, thanks to all my readers and reviewers too, you guys really are helping me decide some things about the future plot...I might put a poll relating to this up on my profile since from just asking people I know I've gotten a 50/50 response, so please vote on that if I end up putting it up. Thanks again!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hello readers! So last night instead of having a life and doing something for Halloween, I decided to stay home and write this for you. Don't you feel special :D ? I actually did use the book to write this chapter, so everything should be fairly accurate, but if it's not then sorry. Hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 26.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Eleazar asked.

I nodded. It was only logical, if rumors were spreading among those the Cullens most trusted, then they would surely be regarded as fact among their enemies. Even though Aro would be able to see the truth through a touch of anyone's hand, he would still be suspicious, besides, I had been ordained to stay with my coven, so if they saw my entire coven without me, there was sure to be trouble.

"Okay, I think we'll be heading to the field in about fifteen minutes."

Carlisle and Edward had been waiting at what Alice had seen as the battlefield for two days, and now that the snow on the ground matched the scene of the battle Alice envisioned, we were preparing to fight. Everyone had gone to eat, whether it was human or animal blood, so we could be at our strongest. At the battle field Edward and Carlisle were going to arrange us into a formation they saw fit.

"I'll meet you there," I said as he turned around and left. There was something I had to do first, some things I had to address.

For the first time in fifty-eight years I truly felt as if the end of my time on this Earth was coming to an end. I found it interesting that if I hadn't been turned I would still be facing the end of my life. Even with the medical advancements that had been made since my change eighty-three was around the average life expectancy. If things came to a battle today I knew I would be a main target. Not only did I break their rules by my very state of existence, I wasn't as fast as the others, and among the vampires my strength was only average. I was an easy target for any of the guard members.

The house was beginning to clear out and one could tell the difference. It was much quieter without the constant chatter as those who were still here were deathly silent. The only conversation that could be heard was the barely audible whispers of Kate and Garret, who had become fast friends, and from what I could tell maybe more, from the next room. It was because of this near silence that I could hear him coming up behind me. I knew he would come, if he felt the same anticipation of doom that I did then he would come.

"Sit with me?" he asked. I let him lead me to the library and we sat down on the couch. "Are you going?" he asked once we were settled.

Why did people think I wasn't going? I was pretty sure it was because I was technically pregnant, but the baby wasn't alive, so what difference did it make? Peter and Charlotte, Randall, even my own coven had thought I was going to skip the battle. Well I wasn't. I loved Renesmee just as much as any of the other visiting vampires here and if they thought I wasn't going to fight for her they were wrong. Even if I wasn't as fast or strong as the others I would fight for her like I would fight for my own child. "Yes, I'm going," I replied.

"Don't go," he said softly.

"Why not?"

"I love you."

"That's not a reason for me to stay. That's barely even true."

"Yes it is, Clara, I don't want to lose you." He put his hand on top of mine which had been resting in my lap.

"Then why would you stay with her? Why would you even go out with her to begin with?" I loved him, but he obviously loved someone else, so I struck a bargain I knew he couldn't agree to. "I'll stay here if you stay with me."

"You know I can't do that," he sighed.

"You know I can't say I'll stay if you leave her."

"Would you?"

I had to think about that. Would I leave the fight to be with the one I love? I couldn't decide. The pleading in his eyes as I weighed my thoughts simply reminded me that I didn't want him to go either. "What happens if I stay and you…you die?"

He looked down and bit his lower lip. "You'll be okay. I was never much of a catch anyway. I mean, think of all I've put you through, even now."

It was true that Randall made this way, turned me into a vampire, left me to kill my family as well as others. He went after me when I didn't want him and was unavailable when I needed him. Still, I didn't want him to die. I loved him. He comforted me when I was grieving, taught me what I needed to know in order to survive this way, came looking for me years after we had parted ways, and even when it seemed he had put aside all feelings for me, he begged me to stay here and save myself.

"Randall," I sighed. "I have to go. There's too much on the line if I don't."

Randall looked at me with frustration. He shook his head. "If you insist, just know that I'm going to throw myself in front of anyone who tries to come after you."

That almost changed my mind, but I knew if he died trying to save me I would end up going down with him. It was a risk we had to take.

Suddenly Randall looked up, his eyes went wide. I looked behind me to see Mary, standing in the doorway.

"Go on, it's not like I wasn't listening before. Keep going, I'm not going to keep you from saving her you cheating son-of-a-bitch," she spat.

Randall sighed. "Mary."

"Don't 'Mary' me! Looks like you've made your choice," she huffed as she flew out of sight. Only a few seconds later we heard the slam of the front door.

Randall gave me a half sad, half wicked smile. "I think I made the right choice," he weakly chuckled. "Are you still going?"

"I am." How horrible was it that just when all the pieces were coming together the end of our lives was likely approaching?

He nodded somberly, stood up, and offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me up. Before I could stop myself I tackled him in a hug. "Please don't die," I whispered.

He chuckled. "We're immortal and you say 'please don't die.' There are bigger things for you to worry about doll face." I knew he was just saying that so we didn't dissolve before the battle, so we could keep brave faces as we marched to our possible doom.

The air at the battlefeild was so thick with tension that not even a knife could cut through it. Carlisle put Carmen, Esme, and I very close to Bella, Benjamin, and Zaphrina. Kate, Tanya, and Eleazar made up the front line with the rest of the Cullens. Randall asked to stand with us and when Mary didn't show up Carlisle let him.

"Way to stay true..." he muttered sarcastically. I giggled in my head. As wrong as it was, it was very satisfying to hear Randall say bad things about Mary.

The low murmur turned to silence as the Volturi approached. As the rhytmic shuffling of their feet became audible Randall grabbed my hand again. Carmen noticed and looked at us strangely, then stepped closer to me and mouthed something so quickly I couldn't catch it. She broke eye contact with me as the grey mass of the Volturi guard unfolded before us. I was unable to tell which of them were in the guard and which of them were there only to witness our deaths. The battalion robed in grey approached us slowly, with no fear or apprehension, or anticipation or excitement. Their faces were smooth and blank. We appeared a rag-tag army in front of the guard.

"Where's Irina?" I heard Kate whisper to Tanya.

"Maybe she escaped," Tanya shrugged.

Edward was whispering to Carlisle.

"Outnumbered?" Tanya asked incredulously.

"They don't count their witnesses," Edward explained. "They are nonentities, meaningless to the guard. Aro just enjoys an audience."

He didn't bring an audience with him when he came to investigate my case. Perhaps that was because he didn't think he knew what he was dealing with.

Suddenly Carlisle stepped forward. "Aro, my old friend. It's been centuries."

The field was silent until Aro stepped forward. The Volturi ranks crouched and scowled at us.

"Peace," Aro said, throwing up his hand toward them. Coming even closer to us he turned his head to the side curiously. "Fair words, Carlisle. They seem out of place, considering the army you've assembled to kill me, and to kill my dear ones."

Was Aro serious? Did he really think our rag-tag army could defeat his well trained forces. Not even all of us who were here were willing to fight.

Carlisle reached out his hand. "You have but to touch my hand to know that was never my intent."

"But how can your intent possibly matter, dear Carlisle, in the face of what you have done?" Aro asked with a light chuckle.

"I have not committed the crime you are here to punish me for," Carlisle said, slowly and surely.

"Then step aside and let us punish those responsible," Aro said, he glanced through the group until he saw me. His eyebrows flew up in slight surprise. "I did not expect you to be here," he said to me.

"Here I am," I said, the hand Randall was not holding slid over my stomach, as if to protect my baby.

"From what I can see I no longer have reason to suspect that your sister was trying to protect you by blaming the Cullens for the birth of your child though the truth will be revealed soon enough."

"None of us have anything to hide, Aro," I said. "No law has been broken."

Caius flew to Aro's side. "So many pointless rules your kind creates," he said, almost mockingly. "How is is possible that you defend the breaking of the one that truly matters?"

"The law is not broken," Carlisle argued. "If you would only listen..."

"We see the child Carlisle," Caius snapped. "Do not treat us as fools."

Carlisle argued yet again that Renesmee was not immortal, but Caius interjected again.

"If she is not one of the forbidden, then why have you raised a battalion to protect her?"

"Witnesses Caius, just as you have brought. Any one of these friends can tell you the truth about the child. Or you could just look at her, Caius. See the flush of human blood in her cheeks."

"Artifice! Where is the informer? Let her come forward!" Caius roared. He looked back. I followed his gaze to see Irina, standing in the very back, looking as if she were in some sort of stupor, staring at us, her gaze shifting from Kate, Tanya, and Eleazar, to Carmen and I. "You! Come!" Caius called.

When Irina wasn't quick enough to move Caius snapped his fingers and one of the huge body guards pushed Irina forward. Her gaze did not move, even as she stepped forward to where Caius and Aro were standing.

Caius quickly moved towards Irina and slapped her. Carmen gasped and grabbed my arm, Kate and Tanya hissed, I couldn't do anything but stare. Why would Caius even bother? It wasn't like the slap had hurt her, yes, it had brought her to look at him, but it felt so violating, like Caius was trying to have a show of superiority.

"This is the child you saw?" he asked, pointing at Renesmee, clinging to Bella closely.

Confusion came upon Irina's face as she examined Renesmee. She had grown since Irina had last seen her, in fact, she had grown since last night! Irina started to sputter about how she wasn't sure if Renesmee was the child she had seen. Before Caius could slap her again, Aro came up.

"Be composed brother. We have time to sort this out."

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**Ooooooh...another cliff hanger...okay, well the battle continues next chapter, hope you liked it! Thankies to Megan for betaing this chapter and to the readers for reading and reviewing it.**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello readers! Now for part 2 of the battle! Woo! However, I did not realize how long the battle actually was until I started writing this, so not only is this a long chapter, it is also heavily edited. Hope you enjoy anyway! Oh, yes, and I do not own Twilight.

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Chapter 27.

"Now sweetling," Aro cooed. "Show me what you're trying to say."

Irina touched his hand warily, but he pulled away after only a few seconds.

As Aro and Caius started to talk again, Irina dared to look at us again. "Why are you here?" she asked me silently.

"I have to be," I mouthed back.

"Why?" she asked.

"To prove Renesmee isn't mine."

She looked confused again. "Who?"

"Edward and Bella's daughter," I casually gestured to her, clinging to Bella.

"You're going to get yourself killed," she chastised.

I shrugged.

"What's she saying?" Carmen whispered.

"She says I'm going to get myself killed."

"Tell her that she's the on the more dangerous side. Tell her to be careful," Carmen said. I wasn't sure why Carmen didn't just tell Irina to be careful herself, but I noticed her looking away. Kate and Tanya were doing the same thing.

"Carmen says be careful," I said after getting eye contact again. Irina had been trying desperately to talk to Tanya or Kate, but to no avail.

"I will," she mouthed back.

"Quiet!" Aro demanded.

Randall's hand tightened around mine.

Aro inconspicuously ran his hand over Irina's to see what we were saying. Apparently not upset by our conversation he let it go. He continued what he was saying to Carlisle. "Be that as it may, I _will_ have every facet of the truth, and the best way to get that is to have the evidence directly from your talented son," he bobbed his head towards Edward.

All eyes trained on Edward as he left Bella and Renesmee with a kiss and stepped forward. The tension was beginning to get to us. Esme whimpered, worry written all over her face, and Carmen pulled her closer into our cluster. Bella suddenly laughed and we all stared. Had she lost her mind? Even Renesmee looked at her with concern. But soon it appeared to be over, Bella's face back to a serious stare, focusing on keeping her shield over what area she could.

Then Aro took Edward's outstretched hand and everything was revealed. I realized why Aro wanted Edward as opposed to anyone else; he had all of our thoughts. The secrets of everyone except Bella were revealed in the examination of Edward's memories.

As the information passed from Edward to Aro and back again, the Volturi guard grew restless, one could tell they thought they were coming for a fight.

"Control yourselves!" Caius yelled. It was obvious he was blindly grasping for control of anything.

"You see?" Edward said calmly a few minutes later.

"Yes, I see indeed. I doubt whether two among gods or mortals have ever seen quite so clearly. You have given me much to ponder young friend. Our world, which we thought we knew well, has been confounded twice even in the last century!" Aro exclaimed. "I will be very curious to see how all of this resolves. May I meet her?"

"What is this about Aro?" Caius snapped. He was incredibly unhappy not knowing what was going on. I felt we had more to fear from him than Aro, as the frustration could be heard in his voice and seen on his face.

"Something you've never dreamed of my practical friend," Aro said elusively. "Take a moment to ponder, for the justice we intended to deliver no longer applies." There was a murmuring among the guard, who seemed just as shocked as Caius was over these words. "Peace, brother," Aro said soothingly and the crowd hushed. "Will you introduce me to your daughter?" Aro asked Edward again.

Edward nodded reluctantly.

"I think a compromise on this one point is certainly acceptable, under the circumstance. We will meet in the middle," Aro said, releasing Edward's hand. The guard growled and Aro reassured them we meant no harm, still to sooth them Aro brought Felix and Demetri to protect him.

"Bella, bring Renesmee…and a few friends," Edward called.

"And Clara, do come with them, I'm quite curious to see your take of things. Even the mind of young Edward cannot show every thought you've had since I last saw you," Aro said.

Randall gripped my hand even tighter.

"There's nothing to fear from this," Aro insisted. "This is just curiosity."

I looked up at Randall and mouthed, "Let me go."

He squeezed my hand tightly, and then released it.

"Emmett…um…Zaphrina," Bella said softly, clutching to Renesmee. Emmett grinned, Zaphrina nodded, the guard grumbled.

We walked up to Aro and Edward. Although I knew Edward wouldn't let us come if Aro had intentions to harm us, I was still nervous. Irina's eyes were wide, she couldn't decide if she'd rather watch Renesmee as she came even closer, her error more exposed, or if she wanted to watch me and make sure nothing happened.

"Hello again, Bella," Felix grinned.

"Hey Felix," Bella said with a wry smile.

"You look good, immortality suits you."

"Thanks so much," Bella said with the lightest lace of sarcasm.

"You're welcome. It's too bad…" Felix said before stopping himself. We all read into his words, "It's too bad we're going to have to obliterate you."

"Yes, too bad, isn't it?" Bella mumbled.

"I hear her strange heart," Aro murmured, "I smell her strange scent," he continued, "in truth, young Bella; immortality does become you most extraordinarily. It is as if you were designed for this life."

Bella nodded.

"And you," he said, turning to me, "are much the same as you were before, you look radiant my darling, a mother's glow, it's almost a good thing Carlisle hasn't been able to get the shape shifting wolves to treat you yet."

The guard and even some of the vampires on our side began to chatter. They weren't sure what to think, most of them didn't even know about the wolves. I could hear some of them.

"Wolves!" one shouted. "I thought we had killed them off!"

"It's an abomination!" another grumbled.

"They breed mutants of all kinds here," a third hissed.

Aro raised his hand yet again. "Keep your minds open, these wolves are not our enemies in Europe. From what I have seen they could just as easily taken the form of a hawk or a bear or a panther. They are not here, they mean us no harm if we are peaceable."

"How do we know this is true?" Caius demanded.

"I saw it in every one of their minds," Aro said calmly. "Is there any way we might meet these curiosities?" he asked Edward.

"No," Edward said firmly. "They want nothing to do with this. It's a miracle they themselves did not kill Renesmee."

The crowd mumbled again. "Would have saved us a lot of trouble."

"SILENCE!" Aro shouted. "Young Renesmee is a miracle, half human, half vampire, and while we face her future with uncertainty, she is not a life to be thrown away."

"But Master, wat do we know about her?"

"We know all her family knows, and soon we will know all she knows. Yes, young Renesmee? Will you give me your hand?"

She looked to Edward for approval first, Edward nodded. Renesmee outstretched her hand, and Aro wrapped his around hers, enveloping her warm light pink skin in his cold white hand. A few seconds later he chuckled. "You do not need to show me Renesmee, I can see clearly on my own."

"Now may I see yours?" he asked. "I trust that there had been no change in your child, but I must see to be sure."

I gave him my hand and was silent as he examined my mind again, every memory I had. I realized this involved all the drama with Randall and became quite embarrassed, wanting to pull my hand away.

"It's alright, dear," Aro said softly. "I've been through worse secrets than yours."

Suddenly Renesmee's warm hand was on me. Images of a violent battle flashed through my mind, the word no resonated through them all. The images were not directed towards me, she explained in her images, I was simply closer. "Please?" she asked, removing her hand.

"Of course, I have no desire to hurt your loved ones, precious Renesmee," he smiled.

For a moment I believed him, but then Edward grimaced and Maggie hissed, it was then I realized Aro's peace was all a lie, that we were bound to die. Aro dropped my hand immediately. I had forgotten he was holding it. He looked at me and frowned.

"You shouldn't think that we mean to harm you," Aro said warningly. "Have we not treated you kindly before?"

"It...it just seemed like...they...and..." I stammered. I could barely think straight, much less speak coherently. Had I just gotten us killed?

"Enough, there is much to discuss now. Your future is on a fine line, we will decide what is to be done from here," Aro said, waving his coven over. We retreated back to our places, less than fifty yards between us and the Volturi now.

Randall immediately wrapped his arm around me protectively as I returned.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Of course," I whispered back. "I'm just glad I didn't get us all killed."

"If they killed us it wouldn't be your fault, it was their plan all along," Randall hissed.

They huddled and whispered, the witnesses, startled and confused, now separate from the guard. Their whispers could be heard clearly, Aro informed them on the wolves, what he knew about Renesmee, everything he had learned at our interaction.

Randall continued to hold me gently in his arms.

"Are you two together?" Carmen suddenly asked us.

"Where have you been the past few days?" Esme hissed at Carmen. I wasn't aware our relationship was that public.

Before I could answer Caius' booming shout filled the field. "I want to talk to the informant!" he declared, turning his glare to Irina.

Once again Irina wasn't paying attention, still trying to get eye contact with Tanya and Kate. She knew just as well as we did that we were meant to die. Her fate was the unsure one, whether she would be rewarded for giving them a reason to kill us, or be killed to prevent an uprising of revenge was uncertain.

"Irina!" Caius called again.

She looked up and Caius snapped his fingers as if he were calling a servant or a dog. I gripped Randall's hand more tightly to keep myself from hissing at him, how dare he act so high and mighty? The Volturi was nothing but a large-scale playground bully.

Slowly she made her way to where Caius was standing.

"So you appear to have been quite mistaken in your allegations," Caius said simply.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her lower lip quivered for a quick moment. "I should have made sure of what I was seeing. But I had no idea..."

"Dear Caius," Aro interrupted. "Could you expect her to have guessed in an instant something so strange and impossible? Any of us would have made the same assumption."

"We all know you made a mistake," Caius said, ignoring Aro's comment. "I meant to speak of your motivations."

Irina waited nervously for a moment, then repeated him as if she did not understand. "My motivations?"

"Yes, for coming to spy on the Cullens. You were unhappy with the Cullens, were you not?"

She turned to look at Carlisle, her face was pained. "I was."

"Because...?"

"Because the shape-shifters killed my friend and the Cullens sided with them, they wouldn't let me avenge him?" she whispered.

"If you'd like to make a formal complaint against the shape-shifters--and teh Cullens for supporting their actions---now would be the time," he said, an evil grin coming across his face. It was a trap. Irina could choose to get her revenge, or she could anger Caius, neither of these actions had a good result.

Irina took a deep breath. "No, I have no complaint against the wolves, or the Cullens. You came here today to destroy an immortal child. No immortal child exists. This was my mistake, and I take full responsibility for it. But the Cullens are innocent, and you have no reason to still be here. I'm so sorry," she said, facing us. She finally got eye contact with Kate and Tanya, who seemed as if they would dissolve into a puddle of tears if they could. "I love you," she mouthed to them. "There was no crime," she continued as if she hadn't addressed her sisters. "There's no valid reason for you to continue here."

Caius raised his hand, revealing a small metal object. Suddenly three of the Volturi soldiers attacked Irina, she was completely hidden beneath their cloaks, but her screams could be heard. Caius entered the fray and it was as if someone had set off a fire cracker. A shower of sparks and flames filled the air along with the scent of burning flesh. The churning of my stomach was my only reaction. I realized what was happening but I was numb. I knew it could happen, but I had never expected it to come so quickly. My sister was gone.

A gasp rippled through the crowd of witnesses to the Volturi, but we were too stunned to even do that.

Caius grinned. "_Now_ she has taken full responsibility for her actions."

For the slightest moment Kate and Tanya were still, full of shock like the rest of us, but then their intent was clear.

"Stop them!" Edward cried, jumping to grab Tanya's arm as she leaped towards the Volturi, screaming in rage. Soon Carlisle was there to help him.

Kate was further ahead. She had evaded Rosalie's attempt to stop her. Emmett got her to the ground, but she up back up just as quickly. Finally Garrett tackled her. He kept his hold on her even as she shocked him again and again.

Randall grabbed my shoulders as I crouched and growled, but I wasn't going anywhere and he knew it. Yes, I'd like my chance to take Caius out. I'd relish the moment with the same vindictive glee he had for Irina's death, but I knew it wasn't possible.

Felix jumped from the guard to join the fight and protect his leader.

"Zafrina!" Edward called.

"Alec!" Caius shouted.

Suddenly Kate and Tanya's eyes went blank. Kate started to moan and Tanya stopped struggling. "Give me my sight back," Tanya hissed. I realized what Zafrina had done.

Not a second later Felix fell to the ground completely limp. Alec had used his gift as well.

Bella must have had better control of her shield than we had thought as although Kate was still blinded, Garrett seemed unaffected by her shocks now.

"Alice, I think this would be a good time for you to join us," Edward grumbled. "I think your need to be dramatic is less important here."

"Alice?" her name echoed through the crowd, both ours and theirs. Was Alice here? What was she doing? She had left us, abandoned us, run away.

But here she was, dancing into the clearing, Japser and three others shortly behind. The first two I recognized as vampires from the Amazon. Their skin was vampire light, but with an olive tone, but the third was a mystery. His skin was dark and his eyes were a color not seen in vampires, but he ran near their speed and he was far too graceful to be a human. The Cullens reached out to touch Alice and Japser's arms as they passed.

Everyone stared in shock at the newcomers, especially the third one.

"I've only been here fifty-six seconds, Edward, goodness," Alice huffed as she passed Edward. "It seems the time is pressing so I will be quick. This is Nahuel and his aunt, Huilen, and I'm sure we all know Kachiri. I've brought them here to witness. Ask them what you like," she said, addressing the Volturi.

Aro stepped forward curiously. "What are you Nahuel?"

"I am like the Cullen child, I am half vampire, half human. My father is Joham, my mother, Pire, a human, she died at my birth though."

It made sense, he looked similar to Renesmee in his odd appearance, his mesmerizing voice was similar to hers.

"Interesting," Aro said quietly. "Might I test this statement?"

"Of course," Nahuel said, offering his hand.

"Hmm..." Aro sighed as he took Nahuel's hand. "I see, we have no business here. All the questions are answered."

"What is this?" Caius hissed.

"I will explain it to you later, dear brother, but now it is time to go, we have put our dear friends through enough grief today." He held out his hands apologetically. "My friend, Carlisle--how pleased I am to call you friend again! I hope there are not hard feelings. I know you understand the strict burden that our duty places on our shoulders."

"Leave in peace, Aro," Carlisle said firmly. "Please remember to keep your guard from hunting here, it would be in no one's best interest, remember the shape-shifters."

"Of course, Carlise. I am sorry to earn your disapproval, my dear friend. Perhaps, in time, you will forgive me."

"Perhaps, in time, if you prove a friend to us again," Carlisle said.

The Volturi mass left, not quite as organized as when they came. I noticed several of their witness had fled. The shuffling grey flower of robes faded into the distance.

"Are they really gone?" Bella asked.

"Yes, they've given up," Edward grinned.

Everyone was still stark still.

"Seriously people, they're not coming back," Alice laughed.

We remained silent.

"Of all the rotten luck," Stefan muttered.

Then it hit. We had won. We had really beat them. Our rag-tag army beat the Volturi! The whole crowd erupted into cheers. All except for Kate and Tanya that was. A bittersweet victory, how was it possible for us to win, and yet lose so much in the same moment? I stepped forward to try and comfort them, but I was interrupted.

"We did it!" Randall screamed, grabbing me around the waist and spinning me around in the air. Then the smile slowly grew on my face. I knew I should be grieving the loss of Irina, who had become my sister in the years I had known her, but the grin that came from Randall holding me came all the same. The electricity in his touch that made my skin tingle was there, even after this. I realized the time to grieve would come later, but we had to allow ourselves a small victory.

"Stop!" I laughed as he continued to twirl me as if it were nothing. I hadn't felt so alive in years.

He put me down and kissed me. It was wonderful. It was wonderful to be alive.

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**Yay! Don't worry, the few loose ends of the battle will be resolved (ie, Irina's death, why the Volturi left so quickly), then we are off to another adventure that I think you will enjoy :D. As always reviews are appreciated!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Yay! We're coming to the end of the cannon Twilight series! I know this may dissapoint some of you, but I personally prefer writing after cannon because there's less potential for factual errors. Don't be sad though, this isn't the last you'll be seeing of the Cullen clan, so enjoy!**

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Chapter 28.

So there we were, adjourned in the library for our second family meeting since we had arrived. It wasn't so much a meeting as a place where we could avoid the festivities; it was hard to see everyone celebrating when we had just lost a loved one. Tanya and Kate, who hadn't stopped sobbing since Zaphrina returned their sight, were clinging to each other, and Eleazar, Carmen, and I just looked at each other hopelessly. I wondered we would do now.

"What are we going to do now?" Kate wailed, echoing my thoughts.

"What can we do dear?" Carmen asked, resettling herself in Carlisle's favorite armchair. "It'll get better," she tried feebly.

It seemed as if they couldn't hear her. Eleazar sighed, "She wouldn't want you to cry like this, girls. She had over 900 years to live, and in that time she only found one true love, and now she's with him. She wouldn't want you to cry for her now."

This seemed to help them some, their sobs began to subside.

Tanya was the first to compose herself, "You're right," she said although her voice cracked. "Come on," she stood up and took Kate's hand, pulling her up as well; they joined me on the couch.

Kate still looked forlorn, she looked me in the eyes, looking as if she were about to cry again, before she leaned against my shoulder and slumped into the couch. She threw her arms around me in a somewhat awkward half-hug, her hand came to rest on my stomach.

That moment a flood of memories came to me. They weren't in any sort of order, just short scenes coming to mind, one after the other, playing out like a movie. It started with Irina first asking to touch my baby belly, us laughing about wanting children and French lovers. Next she was bouncing around the house cheerfully during the time Laurent was there, and then we were comrades when Carmen went on one her many crazy cleaning rampages, sneaking out pretending to hunt or run errands even if these acts were irrational at the time. After that I saw the looks on Kate's and Tanya's faces at Irina's first call home after her disappearance, and felt my own despair at finding out her claim was false. The final images were the looks of horror and despair on her face as she saw us all, presumably to die. But no, we were still all here; she was the one who was gone. She was gone.

It had been slow as compared to the others, but the grief did come. I felt myself break down as I collapsed into Kate's arms and started to cry as well. My second time losing a sister was no easier than my first. Even though I knew there was nothing I could have done, I racked my mind over and over, replaying the scene, searching for something that could have changed the outcome. Nothing came to mind, and each time the scene was repeated Irina's screams were even louder.

At my outburst Kate began to cry as well, and Eleazar sighed as if his battle to calm us had been lost. We all turned our heads as the door creaked open, Garrett poked his head in.

"Do you mind if we come in?" he asked softly.

"No, it's fine," Kate whispered.

Garrett came in and Kate left me to sit with him in the loveseat across the room. After Garrett's entrance Randall quietly walked over and took Kate's spot on the couch, gently wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head. I buried my head into his chest as I continued to cry and he held me closer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry," he whispered over and over.

Finally as my sobs subsided I looked up at him. "What are you sorry for?" I asked. I knew he was only trying to be comforting, but the way he kept repeating it over and over without saying anything else made it seem like he did something.

He glanced over at the others; Garrett was speaking to Carmen, Eleazar, and Tanya. "I'm sorry I did this to you, made you like this, tortured you like this. I've been thinking about it and I haven't done one good thing for you and you know it; so why, may I ask, would you possibly want me?"

"Because I love you," I said softly.

"I still plan to make it up to you, you know."

"Is that even possible?" I chuckled.

"I'm damned well going to try."

"Stay with me? Stay with me and never leave, that can be your retribution. Stay with me because you love me and I love you back."

"Of course, Garrett's taking care of that right now," he smiled.

I looked back over, Carmen smiled at us, Eleazar nodded, but Tanya was glaring. I wondered what the purpose of Tanya's glare was. Was it just the grief, or was it the proposal that bothered her? Was this too much change for her in a world that hadn't truly changed for her since my arrival?

"How could you two do this?" Tanya growled.

"Do what?" Kate asked.

"How could you fall into those same mistakes? You know Irina only did what she did for love! How could you be so stupid as to put yourselves into the same trap not even a day after seeing the repercussions?" she said, her voice growing louder with each question.

"Love isn't a trap, Tanya," Carmen said softly.

"It is!" Tanya exclaimed. "Has anything good come of it in the end in any of your experiences? No! Love like this is only ephemeral, only our sisterly bonds can survive, but we can't have those if the two of you are dead!"

"Who said we were going to die just because we're in love?" I asked, not even believing I had spoken up. Now I was afraid of Tanya's response.

Before Tanya could shoot something heated back at me Kate interjected. "It's not like we're not going to be your sisters just because we love another."

"I suppose I'll have to pleasure myself alone then? Go out into the towns a lonely whore!"

"Don't be silly," Kate said, "I'll still go with you, maybe I won't go with the men, but I'll go into town with you."

"It won't be the same!" Tanya screeched. "It' won't ever be the same! Just…just get out!" she cried before breaking into sobs again.

Carmen looked at us sympathetically and mouthed "You should probably go," discreetly motioning towards the door. Randall helped me up and Garrett took Kate by the hand and we left.

Kate looked heartbroken, and she and Garrett went down the opposite end of the hall from us, probably to take one of the bedrooms to themselves. Randall and I, on the other hand, not really being able to do such things, went downstairs and sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry again," he half chuckled.

"Stop being sorry, it's not your fault," I sighed.

Most of the crowd had cleared out, ready to go home now, and there were only a few covens left. I noticed that the Amazon coven and Nahuel were among them. Suddenly Randall stood up; I looked over to see Eleazar motioning for him to come.

"I'll be back doll face," he said, kissing my cheek before going to see Eleazar. Now I had nothing to do but watch everyone in the room.

Nahuel had been staring at me a while before he approached me. Bella had noticed his staring too; I had overheard her ask Edward about it although I didn't catch Edward's response. He had been staring at the two of us almost non-stop, but only an hour later did he approach me.

"Hello," he said softly, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"Hi," I said. He smiled gently. He didn't seem to be of any harm to anyone. Just like Renesmee.

"I don't mean to be rude, I'm sure you're asked this a lot, but how did you become pregnant?" he asked.

I smiled, he was right, I did get that question a lot. "I didn't; I was pregnant before I was turned."

"Is that man…Robert I think his name was…?"

"Randall," I corrected him. How eerie that he would confuse the name of my late husband for the name of my new love.

"Randall," Nahuel repeated, "is he the father of your child?"

"No, my husband died a long time ago, when I was still a newborn."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry," he said.

"It's alright. If you don't mind though, I have a question for you," I replied.

"Yes?"

"How did you come to be? I heard about Renesmee, but were you any different? I know Bella only survived because they were prepared, was it the same for you?" I asked.

"No, it wasn't," he said, looking down. It was obvious he blamed himself for what appeared to be an unhappy ending.

Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my arm. I looked down to see Renesmee standing beside me, I hadn't heard her coming up.

"Hello little one," Nahuel smiled.

"I'm not little," Renesmee insisted. "I'm almost up to Uncle Jasper's waist, and I'm growing every day, thank you very much," she pouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you were so big," Nahuel grinned, "must have been my imagination."

"Daddy says that you stare at Momma and me because..." Renesmee started.

"Renesmee!" Bella exclaimed, rushing over to clamp her hand over Renesmee's mouth. "That isn't polite to ask," she whispered, gently lifting her hand.

"That's alright, I'm sure she was just curious," he chuckled. "I think I was about to answer her question anyway. Please, join us, I'm sure you're curious as well, Bella."

Bella sat down and Renesmee climbed up on her lap.

"To answer your question, Clara, my father, Joham, wanted to create a race of hybrids to overthrow the Volturi, of course you can see how that was of more concern to them than Renesmee. I wasn't his first experiment, he knew how to make children. He seduced my mother and left her, thinking he had failed, but he hadn't. My mother was pregnant, and like Bella she managed to carry me for a month before I tore my way out of her," at this he grimaced, as if ashamed of himself. "I didn't know she was so weak, I didn't know the difference between human and vampire then, I just knew that she smelled delicious, and from there I took my first drink. She died of course; my venom was too much for her."

Bella interrupted him. "How are you venomous? Renesmee isn't."

"I'm not sure," Nahuel shook his head. "It might have to do with gender; my sisters are not venomous."

"Your sisters?" Renesmee asked, curious about possible companionship.

"Yes, when Joham returned and saw that I was a success, full grown by the age of seven, he went off to have more children, I'm his only son."

"If you weren't full grown until you were seven, who took care of you?" I asked. His mother had died; his father didn't arrive until after he was grown, had he raised himself?

"My aunt, Huilen, did. She came here to witness as well as you probably know. She cared for my mother and me during her pregnancy, as we would have been killed for my mother's impurity, she was unmarried. Although I was quite full after drinking my mother's blood, I couldn't resist trying the other flavor of blood. I didn't kill her though, so she merely turned into one of you."

Bella nodded somberly, Renesmee had nestled herself into Bella's side quite easily and was beginning to drift off.

"Truly, I'm joyfully surprised that you survived, if I may say so, it makes Huilen and I feel better about my mother's death; that short of changing her there was nothing we could have done."

"I'm glad," Bella said cordially, she held Renesmee's hand in hers and I noticed the slight gaze over her face as she was paying more attention to Renesmee's dreams than what Nahuel was saying. Soon enough she got up to go put Renesmee to bed.

Nahuel smiled back at me. "I'm interested to hear how your child turns out. I overheard something about the local wolves taking it out."

"Yes," I said warily. "If we could ever get to a point where we could convince them to be kind enough to help me then they would be the ones to take it out."

"I see, I suppose we wouldn't have good relations with them considering we're the reason why they're the way they are," Nahuel said.

"Nahuel!" Huilen called. "We're leaving, we wouldn't want the Volturi to come back for us now would we?"

Nahuel called out something in a foreign language, it almost sounded like a scolding. Huilen shouted back in the same language. "I have half an hour more, but there are a few goodbyes I have to make, so I should be going," he said sadly.

"I suppose so," I said.

"It was very nice meeting you Clara, I hope we meet again soon," he smiled.

"It was very nice to meet you too," I said.

Nahuel stood up and ran with his semi-graceful gait out the door. I supposed he was going to say goodbye to Edward, Bella, and Renesmee.

A few minutes later Randall came back, the smile on his face was huge. "Guess what?" he asked.

"What?"

"I'm staying! And guess what else?"

"What else?" I asked, feeling the smirk coming upon my face.

"We're going to one of my favorite places."

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**Hmm...I wonder where they could be going? Well, we'll find out in the next chapter. Thanks again to Megan for proofreading, and my readers for reading and reviewing. **

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello readers! Meant to put this up this morning but forgot...I'm excited for Thanksgiving break! Lots of time to write and I get to see Shelby :D. Okay, well I hope you enjoy this chapter, I warn you now, there is a lemon wedge!**

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Chapter 29.

Kate beamed as she came down the stairs shortly followed by Garrett. Tanya glared at them. Between Kate and Garrett and Carmen and Eleazar, things were pretty loud at night, and Tanya didn't like it.

The spacious white house we had bought on the English countryside was obviously not spacious enough to quiet the racket of love-making if you had vampire hearing. Not that the house in Denali was any better, but at least there was only one couple and three of us to drown them out, now there were two couples, but still only three of us to drown them out, and Kate and Garrett were much louder in bed than Carmen and Eleazar. Carmen said they would calm down after they had been together for a while, but this didn't satisfy Tanya, she still disapproved of Kate's and my own new found love.

"Do you mind not being so loud?" she asked.

"Sorry Tanya, didn't realize we were being loud, you guys can really come knock at the door if we're being too loud," Garrett said amiably. The guys were trying to get on Tanya's good side, but Kate and I knew that was impossible and planned on ignoring her until she got used to it.

Randall looked up and winked at Garrett, Garrett winked back. Randall looked at me. "I'll be back in hour or two, okay?" he said, getting up and kissing me on the cheek.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

He hadn't expressed any need to go anywhere unless he was going to go grocery shopping to keep up the image that we ate food. In the small community people would notice that a family of seven never went to the grocery store. Technically we didn't try to pass ourselves off as a family this time, but three. We used the same general ruse we had in Alaska with a few modifications, Carmen and I were still half sisters, and Kate and Tanya were still our cousins, but Kate and Garrett were engaged (which at this rate they likely would be soon anyway), and Randall and I were pretending to be married due to my pregnant state. We had to procure several rings to pass this off, but luckily Carmen enjoyed switching out engagement and wedding rings every time we moved and had plenty to spare.

"I have a few errands to run, and then I have a job interview," he smiled. "Don't want to seem like a bum of a father," he chuckled. We had just arrived a week ago after struggling to sell our house in Denali for a few months, and had spent several days cleaning the house to Carmen's specifications before we were allowed to do anything else.

"What kind of errands?" I asked, maybe I could come with him before I had to be shut up in the house for the rest of our stay because my baby was supposedly born. We had managed to push back my due date four months by pretending I had an abnormally large baby and claiming that I was only five months pregnant, but four months still wasn't a long time.

"Secret errands, you'll see later tonight," he grinned.

"You said it would only take a few hours," I pouted.

"It will, but the errands I'm running now will only take a few minutes, but the interview will take an hour or two." He picked up a briefcase filled with all sorts of fake documents about his former job and why he had to move to England and person information of that sort made out by J. Jenks. I worried for him though. Getting an office job just after making the switch between human blood and animal blood was tough. I had faith in him, but realistically there was no way to know how long he could last in a work place completely comprised of humans. What would happen if someone was bleeding? When Bella got a paper cut Jasper nearly killed her, and he had been in the practice for decades. And it wasn't only Randall with us, Garrett was making the switch as well and he seemed interested in melding into human society like the rest of us.

Soon after Randall left, Tanya grudgingly got up and began to put on her uniform, showing no extra modesty despite the fact that Garrett was in the room. Posing as Kate's seventeen year old sister, whom Kate had gained custody of after their parents died; Tanya had to go to the local high school, something else she was unhappy about. At least the Cullens went to school together, but Tanya was the only one young enough to pose as a school girl as the rest of us were turned in our mid to late twenties.

"Maybe now you'll be doing your homework at night, and we won't bother you so much," Garrett offered softly, he and Kate sitting down beside me on the couch, continuing to cuddle.

Tanya glared at him. "First, I will finish my homework before you two even head off to do whatever it is you do up there, second, why do I have to be a school girl? I've passed as older before, and now I can't go to the bars and get my own fix. Don't I at least deserve that?"

"Someone's growing a little too big for her britches," Kate teased, walking over to Tanya and pulling the elastic wait band of the skirt of her uniform, causing it to fly back against her skin with a loud snap. "Maybe if we send her to college we can make her get a dorm room. What do you think?"

"You are not my mother," Tanya growled, throwing a heavy looking book at the back of Kate's head. As it hit the back of Kate's head and fell to the floor I noticed it was by Ambrose Bierce, it wasn't surprising; one of Tanya's favorite pastimes when she was upset was reading horror stories. It didn't make sense to me, but if it kept her from killing everybody herself it was okay. "Don't forget I'm older than you," Tanya muttered.

"Only by a few years," Kate said in a sing song voice as she put the sheets from her and Garrett's bed in the washer and searched for the detergent as Carmen had moved it since she had last used it. **(A/N: I know one of you reviewed saying that Tanya was the oldest of them, but my research has shown that Kate, Tanya, and Irina were all turned in about 1,005 A.D.)**

"Doesn't matter, I should still make you two do it in the barn where no one can hear you," Tanya shot.

Yes, we had a barn. No animals of course, but we did have a barn. Luckily for us Carmen thought it looked rustic the way it was and didn't make us clean it. The overgrown farm that we lived on was originally abandoned as a farm because it was cloudy so often crops didn't grow well. We bought it from some renovators looking for a quick profit fixing it up, and although they said they were planning to do more with the landscaping, we said we wanted the house as it was. The dense forest which had encroached upon the farmland was perfect hunting territory for us, plenty of deer and even some bears, and our neighbors, though most of them were at least a half mile away, herded sheep, so we all decided that if one wandered onto our territory while we were hunting, then it would be fair for us to eat it.

Soon it was 7:30 and Tanya had to run to school, we all wished her good luck and she glowered at us. At around 8:30 Kate and Garrett went back to bed, and Carmen offered to take me with her to the grocery store. I accepted and enjoyed what I had been missing for the past ten or so years. Society had certainly changed since the last time I had been in it, almost everything about it. The cars were different, smaller, sleeker, rounder, more fuel efficient, some of them even hybrids. The styles were different. It was mid-March, but a sharp decline in modesty had made itself evident starting around the 1970s, and I noticed that trend continue as we walked around the grocery store.

The one thing that had not changed was people's curiosity.

"When are you due?" the man restocking the refrigerated section asked.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" a curious little boy, shadowed by his younger sister, asked me.

"How far along are you?" the woman at the cash register asked me, although she did not believe Carmen and I when we said five months, saying that with four children of her own and countless nieces and nephews, she knew that no one was that big at five months, and suggested that I inquire into the paternity of my child, all the while muttering under her breath about filthy Americans.

Despite the fact that Carmen and I laughed hysterically at this once we were outside, we decided that we wouldn't be visiting that grocery store again. I decided that maybe being locked up in the house wouldn't be such a bad thing.

We then drove directly to the food bank to donate all that we had just bought, and went home.

Later that evening, Randall had snuck out on his secret errands again, and Garrett approached me.

"I'm sort of hungry, but Kate doesn't want to go hunting, and I don't want to go by myself, will you go with me?" he asked.

"Sure Garrett," I said, getting up off the couch. Today had been busy, for me at least, but I liked it, it would make settling down again feel so much more relieving.

When I came back to the house, it smelled incredibly different. There were flowers. Lots of flowers. Flowers and candles. A closer inspection led me to believe that there were peonies and roses, and vanilla scented candles.

"What's that?" I asked Garrett.

"I don't know…maybe Kate went crazy?" he suggested weakly.

He tried to keep me away as I headed up the stairs, but I was too curious now. Why was the house so heavily scented? Following the scent to Randall's and my bedroom, the scene I encountered confused me more.

Randall didn't notice me poke my head through the door, so I watched him as he lit the last candle. Scattered about the room were flowers, and there was a candle on nearly every surface. I had no idea what Randall planned to do with these things. The only reason I could think of to so heavily scent an area was if humans were coming, and it would have to be a lot of humans like at Edward and Bella's wedding.

As Randall turned around he saw me and jumped nearly three feet into the air. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "You…you weren't supposed to see this right now," he muttered. "I knew you liked these flowers, and you know, I figured candles were a nice touch since it would be sort of special for you. Do you like it?"

"What is it?" I asked, stepping into the room. I had a guess, but I simply couldn't believe it. I had assumed it impossible, but apparently Randall didn't.

"Well," he said shyly, "I was hoping that tonight we might try to...make love?"

I stepped over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "Dear," I started; I wasn't quite sure how to break the news to him. "Do you really think that in my state we can do it?"

"On the contrary, I would think that having been deprived of it so long you would want it."

"I do...I really, really do, but I don't know if I can Randall. I mean, look at me, I'm huge!" Yes, fifty-eight, almost fifty nine, years was a long time, and being pregnant did not exempt me from a vampire libido, but there was obviously a reason I hadn't gone into town with the others, and I knew it wasn't just because of my principles. The Volturi could be as uptight as they wanted, but when you were around at least one vampire couple, and often more considering how often the Cullens visited us, old impressions fashioned by a conservative upbringing do begin to fade.

"Doesn't matter," Randall chuckled. "It's been a few months for me and I want some. Even if I had gotten some yesterday it wouldn't matter though; I still think you're beautiful and frankly, if a vampire wants to be excited, he can become excited."

"That's not what I meant Randall," I said softly.

"At least give it a try love, if you don't like it then we'll stop okay?" He didn't give me the chance to answer before he started to kiss me.

I struggled a little at first, still shocked by it all, but soon I was just as swept away in emotion as he and we seemed to tumble to the bed in a heap of passion. Soon I found myself ripping away his clothes, the fabric tearing like tissue under my hands. Without missing a beat he was able take off mine as well. The whole process was much smoother than I remembered. My human memories were dim and had holes in them, but there were certain things I remembered clearly, and I knew this hadn't been as seamless when I was a human. Buttons were fumbled with, zippers got stuck, we had to breath eventually. Maybe those things had added to the charm of it, but this simple, almost primitive, tearing of clothes and getting straight to it felt so much better to me, much more natural.

Suddenly though, something didn't feel right. At the moment here was a pause, a pause that wasn't supposed to be there.

"Randall?" I asked quietly.

"I know," he said softly. "I'm sorry, that was my fault, wasn't thinking, have to get the right angle," he noted, more to himself than me.

It was a relief. I could go back to the blissful moment. I closed my eyes, let the passion overtake me again, and waited. Finally I felt what I was supposed to feel. The tingling rush surged through my body and I moaned. My eyes fluttered over to look up into his, but they weren't there. I felt him, but looking up I couldn't see him. Randall continued at a pace much faster than what I had been used to as a human, probably faster than what a human could take without breaking, but it was so much better.

By the end it was like a high. A vampire high, no wonder the other couples were so horny all the time. Still, there was something missing. Randall had been practically out of sight the whole time. He had to practically sit up and do it as his body wasn't long enough or flexible enough to bend around my belly. I missed his lips on mine, his hands running through my hair and mine through his. Everything above my hips felt utterly useless.

It was nice to see his face up close again as he finally collapsed on the bed, a simple smile on his face and a loving look in his eyes. After a few minutes of just looking at each other contentedly he asked. "Was it okay?"

I chuckled. "Yes, it was okay."

"It wasn't good?" he asked a little mock concern in his voice.

"It was good," I consented.

"Say it, say it wasn't the best you ever had, I dare you," he teased.

I rolled onto my side and sighed. I really wanted to roll onto my stomach but the baby belly was in the way. "You know I want to, but I missed you too much."

"Yeah, it was a little lonely up there, and it was hard to tell if you really liked it."

I put my hand on my stomach. "I want her out, Randall," I whispered.

Randall rolled onto his side was well. Finally we were face to face. He leaned in and kissed me over and over again whispering, "I know you do. I know you do."

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**Alright, so we're beginning to settle down a little? Or are we? You'll never know because we have now surpassed cannon Twilight and the only document that could reveal the end is left unpublished with miles to its posting! Haha, now that I have taunted you I would appreciate your reviews!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hello readers! Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving (I know several of you don't live in the US, so to you I just hope you had a nice Thursday), anyway, I did and the story is coming along nicely and I'm actually a bit ahead so I might post an extra chapter or two randomly throughout the week, we shall see. Anyway, still don't own Twilight and still hope you enjoy.**

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Chapter 30.

"Someone's coming!" Kate called through the house. We scurried to make the house look lived in before the visitor came. Yes, when we had vampire visitors there wasn't a speck of dust on the floor, but when the visitor was human we had to make the house look as if it hadn't been torn from a magazine. For the most part we cleaned up after ourselves, and while to our sensitive eyes things could look a mess, to the human eye our clean would seem sterile and unnatural.

We moved a few knickknacks to be asymmetrical, Garrett went outside, got some dirt on him, and ran through the house, something he seemed to enjoy as Carmen shuddered. We splayed papers across tables and put pens and coins in various locations, Tanya put some school books on the table and pretended to be doing homework.

It took a few minutes, but the doorbell finally rang. I sat down on the couch with Randall as Carmen went to open the door. "Hello, how may I help you?" she asked. I couldn't see who was at the door since the couch faced the opposite direction, but I heard a woman's voice with a slight southern accent that seemed foreign for this part of England, reply.

"I've brought a home-warming gift. My name is Sarah Lampkin and this is my son Nathaniel, we live at the farm next door."

"That was very thoughtful of you," Carmen smiled, opening the door wider. "Please, come in."

The woman, who appeared to be in her mid-forties, with skin that seemed to have been tanned by the sun over the years, and waist long hair like Rosalie's, only light brown, stepped in. Her son followed, his dark brown hair was spiked with hair gel and his sideburns were long and thick. He probably thought it made him look tough, but he couldn't be older than eighteen. Sure, he was muscular, but under his sideburns he had a young face and bright brown eyes that crackled with the fire of adventure. Robert had had eyes like that. Robert's were green of course, but they did sparkle like that.

Sarah handed off the red tin that contained cookies and brownies from the smell, to Carmen, but Nathaniel sauntered over to where Tanya was standing.

"Well hello beautiful; I didn't know we were neighbors," Nathaniel smirked.

"Nate, you just met the girl," Sarah chuckled.

"No ma'am," Tanya muttered. "We know each other from school." She looked up at Nathaniel. "Hello Nate."

"Well, well, well, Tanya," Kate said, a teasing grin on her face. "I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

"I'm a horny seventeen year old, what did you think?" she growled under her breath.

What she meant was easily understood. She was only seeing him for the sex. She planned to break his heart whenever it was convenient for her. Sure, she couldn't go around through bars, but she could easily date a boy who had the libido of a vampire, which was how it appeared just by the way he looked at her.

Sarah seemed unfazed. "Anyhow, we were just wondering how you liked Normen. We've been living here a year ourselves."

"We've been enjoying it very much, thank you," Carmen said. "Let me introduce you to our family. I'm Carmen, and this is my husband Eleazar. My sister Clara and her husband Randall are over there," she said casually gesturing towards us, "and our cousins Kate and Tanya," she said as her hand moved to where they were standing.

Nate wrapped his arms around Kate and Tanya. "I like the ladies," he said. This kid was a little hard to believe.

Luckily for Kate, Garrett walked in at that moment; he had gotten dirt all over his clothes in our un-cleaning and Carmen made him go change.

"And this," Carmen said, the minute details on her face showed that she was going to get just as much satisfaction out of Garrett's reaction as I was, "is Kate's fiancé Garrett."

Garrett was not at all happy that a teenager was flirting with his fiancé. He looked at Nate and flashed his teeth and Nate nervously took his arm off Kate, wrapping it around Tanya instead.

Sarah seemed to sense the tension in the room, and tried to distract from it by asking another question. "So, what brings you to Normen?" she asked

Eleazar spoke up this time. We had rehearsed this so much that it seemed natural to lie to people when they asked. "My job, I was transferred," Eleazar said simply.

Kate went on to explain why she, Garrett, and Tanya were there, according to our story. "Garret and I were having a hard time getting started out in the States, the economy is getting rough over there, and we feel a small town is a better adjustment for Tanya."

Then Randall spoke for us. I was a little surprised; it had been a week since we had last hunted, so I didn't think he'd want to talk around humans, and I wrapped my arm around his just to be safe. "We just thought it would be good to be able to raise the little one here," he slid his hand over my stomach, "around family, and like they said, it's a tough economy over there."

Sarah chuckled. "We know that for sure. We're from the States ourselves, isn't that right Nate?"

"Good old Tennessee, born and raised," Nate agreed.

Garrett nodded and wrapped his arm around Kate protectively. "We're from Alaska ourselves. It was a tight knit community, that's why we wanted to transition to a small town, of course, we didn't expect to be this isolated in a small town, but we've got enough people here to keep ourselves company."

Sarah nodded, I had noticed her wide eyes when she first walked in, and I supposed we were a sight to see. "I bet," she muttered under her breath. Of course, all of us could hear her.

"I'm really glad you did move here," Nate said, suddenly turning sweet, looking lovingly at Tanya like he actually cared for her.

"We are too," Tanya said, just like a love struck teenager, taking his hand gently, a simple smile on her face.

"So what do you all do?" Eleazar asked Sarah. "We've been job hunting, but jobs seem a little scarce around here too."

"Well I go to school," Nate said bitterly.

"Oh, hush," Sarah chastised. "I home school my daughter, Lindsey, and my husband owns the local Texas Roadhouse. The company wanted to expand, so here we are. My husband is really popular with the locals. I'm sure he can put in a good word for you."

"We appreciate that very much," Kate smiled.

It was quiet for a minute, but then Nate looked directly at me. "So how long have you been preggers, Clara?"

"Nate, that isn't appropriate to ask," Sarah said, raising her eyebrows warningly.

Kate looked at Tanya as if to say "and this is the scum you're dating?"

"What? Like you and Dad didn't want to ask?" Nate replied.

Randall gritted his teeth and tightened his grip around my arm. I started to worry about him, I didn't want him to blow and eat the company, so I tried to make a joke out of it.

"Fifty-nine years," I replied, putting on my best crooked grin, trying to imitate Edward's.

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

"Just kidding," I finished with a chuckle. "It only seems like fifty-nine years, I'm actually five months along, it just seems like forever."

The rest of them relaxed although Randall still seemed irritated. "It's okay," I whispered to him, but he didn't respond. Being older than me, he was more appalled at the "decline of manners and decency" that appeared to be taking place in society. Of course, in his day it was a scandal for a woman to show her ankles in public.

Sarah also seemed tense. "Well, we should probably be taking off," she said nervously.

"Why don't you stay Nate?" Tanya asked, still holding his hand. "I'm sure my family would love to get to know you better."

"So much for your not falling in love sentiment," Kate muttered under human hearing.

"Do you see how he acts?" Tanya hissed. "I am NOT in love with him. I'm in lust with him. There's a difference."

"Well see about that," Kate said before returning to a voice humans could hear. "Yes Nate, we'd love to have you."

"Can I, Mom?" Nate asked eagerly.

"I don't know…" Sarah said warily.

"Come on! I'm seventeen! I can run home!" Nate argued.

"We'll have to talk to your father later, but yes, you can stay," Sarah finally relented.

"Don't worry, we'll make sure he gets home on time," Tanya reassured her.

Sarah nodded quietly and let herself out. That was strange, she had seemed so friendly before, and yet she had grown more and more distant as we continued to talk, but the joke about the pregnancy was what seemed to have set her off. It was strange, but nothing to worry about I supposed, she could have easily have just been mortified by her son's behavior.

"So," Nate said to Tanya quietly, he probably thought we couldn't hear him. "You want to go somewhere quiet?"

Tanya nodded silently and tried to sneak him out, but Kate stopped them. "Where do you think you're going?"

"We were just going to talk," Tanya said innocently.

"Oh no you weren't," Garrett said, taking great joy in grabbing Nate's muscular shoulders and dragging him back into the living room. "Come, get to know the family."

It was time for the grilling. We had agreed that Tanya could bring home boys as long as we could sufficiently scare them to death first, just so none of them got any ideas to just pop over whenever or to mess with any of us.

Nate was certainly intimidated. He swallowed hard and nodded. "Uh…okay…what do you want me to know?" he asked nervously.

"It's not what we want you to know about us, it's what we want to know about you. So, Nate, what do you do in your free time?" Garrett asked.

"I play rugby at school," Nate said, "like football without the padding, rough stuff," he explained.

It was obvious Garrett was too much for Nate, so Eleazar came to his rescue, pulling him from Garrett's grip. "So how old are you?" Eleazar asked.

"Seventeen, at least, that's what my driver's license says," Nate chuckled nervously.

"So your age is different than what your driver's license says?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"Er…no," Nate said. "I was just making a joke."

"Of course you were," Carmen said soothingly. She and I were the only ones to oppose questioning Tanya's boyfriends. "Don't mind them, they're just pleased that they all get to take part in making you squirm, don't take it personally."

"Thanks ma'am," Nate chuckled.

"Anyway, you're from the south, what's your opinion on being a southern gentleman?" Randall asked, continuing the interrogation.

Nate took a deep breath. "I think that guys should treat their ladies right if they want them to stick around. I do things like hold doors open for women, pay for food, things that men should do, all the time."

"He's pissed because you called his wife preggers," Tanya hinted to him quietly.

"Sorry about that Randall," he said looking down. "That's just a term I heard in the US, I won't use it again, I promise."

Randall leaned back and pouted. It really wasn't a huge deal. He was a teenager, a real one, not one of the Cullens who had been around for decades, what were we supposed to expect? When Randall failed to respond I spoke up.

"It's alright, he's just sensitive," I said rubbing my hand up his arm. "And stubborn," I added for good measure.

Nate took a deep breath. "Well, if that's all, can Tanya and I have some privacy?" he asked.

"Sure," Kate shrugged. "But remember," she tapped her finger on the wall, "thin walls, we can hear you."

Despite Kate's warning, Nate and Tanya headed to the back anyway, and well, Kate was right, we could hear them quite clearly.

Later that night, Randall and I went hunting. Randall was still upset with Nate and the fact that Tanya was dating "scum like him" and even suggested that after she was done with him she ate him. We didn't want him going into work like that, so we figured that blood might calm him down some, and it had been a while since I had hunted as well. I finished first and looked up to see a pair of yellow eyes piercing through the night air. Never before had I seen an animal stare so daringly at us, but when I finally got Randall's attention and looked back up, the eyes were gone.

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**Okay, I'd like to thank Shelby and Megan for helping me out with this chapter and the chapters to come. Not much to say for this chapter except that we will be seeing the Lampkins again. As always reviews are appreciated!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey readers! Well, I think you'll like this chapter, even if only when you get to the very end. I must say, the prospect is...interesting and I thank Megan for helping me with it. Sorry about not doing a spontaneous post, but I realized that with the holiday season coming up I'm going to be VERY busy with chorus, so I'd like to save my pre-written chapters for a time when I have no time to write. Well, again, hope you enjoy! Oh, yes, I still don't own Twilight.

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Chapter 31.

The sounds that were coming from Tanya's room were suspicious. Their usual commotion was now interrupted by rapid movement, feet hitting the floor, hushed voices talking worriedly. The footsteps rushed down the hall and soon Nate appeared at the doorway.

"Bye guys...I have to get home soon," Nate said, shoving his feet into his shoes and scurrying around to get his school things gathered. He didn't even seem to notice that he was shirtless. Not that that was a bad thing, Tanya did have good taste.

Tanya arrived shortly afterwards shouting after him. "Nate! Your phone did NOT go off, and you forgot it by the way!" she waved it around in the air

Nate seemed frantic, "I'll get it later!" he shouted despite the fact that Tanya was right behind him. "I have to…" he paused mid-sentence as his back seemed to spasm in a smooth ripple down his spine. "Shit," he managed to mutter before his feet fell from under him and his hands and feet hit the floor. I couldn't help but stare as his skin erupted into a coat of brown fur and his body seemed to contort into an unnatural shape. By the time he was finished he looked like some experiment gone awry in a horror film of the fifties.

"What the hell is that?" Garrett shouted.

Tanya gasped and ran about three steps backwards before bumping into a chair.

"Oh my..." was all I could manage to get out as Randall grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back.

Carmen was also near speechless. "How?" she stammered.

"I thought we killed them off centuries ago!" Kate exclaimed

"I'm sorry," Nate said to Tanya, his voice sounded strained, more guttural, and deeper.

"I don't know what to think," Tanya said slowly.

"Neither do I. Am I the only one who has no idea what's going on?" Garrett asked.

"No," Randall and I said simultaneously. I had never seen anything like this before. This was not how the Shape Shifters in Forks had been described. Instead of on all fours, Nate was bipedal, standing hunched over in the living room. His long tail waved back and forth unconsciously like a cat's. He looked more like something from a collection of scary stories than an actual wolf.

"On every night of the full moon I become this. I am a Child of the Moon, a werewolf," he said.

"A werewolf you say?" Randall asked curiously. It was a friendly curiosity. I wondered for a moment if Randall knew more than he was letting on, but his unrelenting grip on my arm didn't support that.

"Kate is right; the Volturi killed your kind a long time ago," Carmen said, the confusion written all over her face.

I finally realized that these were the wolves that had had the Volturi witnesses in uproar. But they were not killed off. They were still alive, Nate was evidence of that.

"The Volturi?" Nate asked, cocking his head to the side. "What are you guys anyway?

Then Eleazar finally spoke. "I'm suprised you don't know. Your alpha surely said something about us to you; it's hard to believe you couldn't keep your cover without knowing who to keep it from. Don't you know what the consequences for your family would be if we turned you in?" His tone was warning, I was afraid of what Eleazar might do, and Tanya seemed to be as well.

"My alpha? I have no clue what you're talking about! What are you?!" Nate exclaimed.

"Your alpha," Eleazar repeated, "your leader, surely to have survived us he had to know how to recognize vampires."

"Vampires? Is he serious?" Nate asked Tanya. His eyes seemed hurt and worried.

Tanya sighed. "Yes...I'm sorry."

"Look...whatever you do...don't hurt me...and don't turn me in," Nate begged. I wasn't sure how much we could keep of that promise. If the Volturi knew we were hiding Children of the Moon they would have cause to come after us again and I, not to mention Kate and Tanya, didn't want to lose another family member, but Tanya really seemed to like Nate. Kate and I had been wondering if he was her soul mate, like Edward had had Bella.

"No," Eleazar finally answered. "The Volturi are not our friends right now. May I ask though, what is your father's name?"

"Why would you want to know that?" Nate asked defensively.

"I think your father and I might be old friends," Eleazar smiled.

"His name is Chris...Chris Lampkin," Nate said cautiously.

Eleazar's face lit up with recognition at the name. "Ah, Christopher, we were good friends back in the days before the Children of the Moon were our enemies, when they all ran with decency. I'm glad to hear he is still safe."

"You...know my dad?" Nate asked, confusion written on his face. "How old are all of you?"

"All of us?" Eleazar asked, he seemed to have no inhibitions about revealing ourselves to Nate. "To be general, I'd say that Carmen and I are about three or four hundred years old, Tanya and Kate are each approaching a millennium, Garrett and Randall are both about two or three hundred years old, and Clara is...eighty-five...isn't that about right?

I nodded and whispered. "Yes." It sounded strange. I didn't look eighty-five, I didn't feel eighty-five, yet I was eighty-five, an old woman by anyone's terms. A century or a millennium is unfathomable in human years, there was no look to match it, but eighty-five was just old.

"A millennium...wow," Nate whispered.

"Yeah. Quite the age difference huh? But you can't be as young as you say either; your Dad is three hundred years old too," Tanya argued.

"You heard me?" Nate asked in disbelief.

"It's hard NOT to hear you," Garrett said, rolling his eyes. "Especially when you're doing…whatever it is you do in there."

Even under his coat Nate seemed to blush at this, and Tanya covered her face with her hands. "Heh heh...anyway...to answer your question, my dad may be three hundred years old, but I am seventeen. He and my mom waited a while before they had kids."

"He's telling the truth," Eleazar said, "his claws are those of a juvenille, he'd have to be twenty-five to have his adult claws, only adult claws can cut through vampire skin, I remember Aro always told us to start with the young ones because they can't fight back." He looked down and started rubbing his arm. Carmen made her way over and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"My family is probably wondering where I'm at," Nate finally said.

"Are you coming back?" Tanya asked worriedly. "Are you going to move because we found out about you? We won't hurt you, I promise! I won't let them!" She seemed to be getting worked up about this. I had thought she only wanted him for the sex, but it was now clear that that wasn't her reason for keeping him around.

Nate looked at her with concern; it seemed like he wasn't planning to leave, so Kate stepped over and grabbed Tanya's shoulders. "Go to your family, she'll be okay."

Nate nodded gently and bolted out the door.

"Well, that was…interesting…" Carmen said slowly once he was gone.

"Eleazar? Exactly how sharp are a full grown wolf's claws?" Randall asked.

"Pretty sharp, probably just as sharp as those of the Shape Shifters back in Washington, that was why the Volturi went after them. See, just like us, the Children of the Moon can eat animals and be just fine, also like us, many preferred human flesh. It started out as a small faction, but as a taste for human meat grew among their kind, the Volturi began to feel threatened. Then it happened. A vampire was killed competing with a Child of the Moon for a meal. That was what caused the massacre. Caius decided that enough was enough, and that we needed to put our foot down before it got out of hand. I'm afraid however, that we got a bit out of hand, and killed them regardless of their loyalties. Men, women, children," the pain on Eleazar's face was evident, as he continued. "Christopher and his family only eat animals though, and I have no intention of turning him in."

"I see," Randall said. There was a small grin on his face. "Clara, may I speak to you privately?" he asked, taking my hand and squeezing it.

I followed him up to our bedroom and by the time we had gotten there he was beaming.

"May I ask what is so wonderful?" I asked. I for one still had images of the merciless massacre of Children of the Moon in my head.

"Clara, I think we can get your baby out, and the answer is right next door."

If my heart were still beating, a beat would have been skipped. "What are you talking about, Randall?" I didn't want to get my hopes up, only to be let down again by something impossible.

"The Children of the Moon, Clara, they can take your baby out!" Randall exclaimed. His excitement seemed comparable to what I had felt when I had first discovered animal blood.

"Why would they do that?" I asked.

"Well, Eleazar said they were friends, maybe he could convince them," Randall suggested.

"Eleazar was also part of the Volturi; what if they still hold a grudge?" I asked return.

"Then we can go back to the original plan and wait out the Shape Shifters, but it's not going to hurt to ask."

I sighed and he wrapped his arms around me. I turned in his embrace to face the window and the reflected sunlight from the full moon made our skin shine like gems. "Alright, we'll ask," I said. I didn't want to get excited until I knew for sure, but it was interesting for me to think what the future may hold.

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**Hmm...I wonder what shall come of this (I already know of course, but I'm sure you're wondering). Okay, well, that's it, thanks to the people who helped and to the people who read and the people who review...or I could say the people who make this story possible. :)**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**Okay, so I've seen 20 hits before I even posted, so I'll go ahead and let you start reading, just wanted you to know that I do not own Twilight or Clara. Hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 32.

The phone blared loudly, interrupting Randall and I. After much trial and error, we found that things worked a lot better if I was on top, and it was _almost_ worth it now. It was hard to see his face sometimes, and occasionally my baby-belly would get in the way, but who could get away with taking a high like _that_ only once?

We heard Tanya answer the phone from the next room. She couldn't complain about our noise anymore because we had to put up with her and Nate nearly every night now days. "Hello, Denali residence."

"Oh, hey! We're fine...how are you?" Tanya said

"Good...and guess what? I'm coming over....well...." Nate's tone dropped a little. "We're all coming over. I told dad about changing at your house. He's not so thrilled...we're waiting for him to come home from work," we heard Nate say as Tanya approached the wall that adjoined our rooms.

Randall and I grudgingly got up and started to get dressed again, by the way he said it, it sounded like he was coming soon. Once I was dressed I walked into Tanya's room to get a better listen.

"Okay, does everyone need to be here? I'm sure I can call a family meeting, Eleazar, and Kate should be coming home soon, Randall and Garrett just got back, Carmen stays at home and does house-wife stuff, and Clara's home because she's going to have to go on 'maternity leave' soon. The lazy bum," she winked at me and I hit her in the arm.

"Yeah...I'm sure dad would calm down once he saw Eleazar. He doesn't know yet," Nate said.

"Well, Eleazar is excited to see him again, so come on down any time," Tanya said.

"I can't wait to see you...he's home. See you in about five minutes! Bye baby!"

"Bye," Tanya smiled, hanging up the phone. The smile on her face was _that_ smile. The smile that Irina wore when she secretly loved Laurent, the smile that Kate wore whenever she had just been around Garrett, the smile I knew I had when Randall came home from work.

"Kate is right, you love him," I teased.

"Kate is wrong. He's okay, but I don't 'love' him," she said despite the love struck grin on her face. She then proceeded to hit me. "That was for earlier," she explained, "you _are_ a lazy bum."

"If I'm such a lazy bum you try going two weeks without me washing any of your clothes." Carmen did most of the housework, but unless somebody wanted something washed immediately laundry was my official duty. It had been my job to make sure everyone's clothes were neat and tidy since I had first arrived at the Denalis' doorstep and offered to do the job. It wasn't one of Carmen's favorites.

"I think I will, Alice and Rosalie manage not to ever wear the same outfit twice," Tanya pouted.

"And you'd like to be compared to Alice and Rosalie Cullen?" As much as we loved them, the girls and I agreed that Alice and Rosalie went a bit over the edge when it came to their wardrobe. It was harder to look inconspicuous if you wore Italian designer everything all the time. "Besides, you still have to wear your uniform every day," I reminded her.

"Well, I've got to get everyone ready for when the wolves come over. See you later bum," Tanya said, walking out of the room

"I am not a bum!" I shouted after her.

Tanya stopped and turned around; a grin came across her face. "Oh, right, I see now, you're just a hormonal pregnant woman."

I shook my head as she walked away. She would pay for this, maybe not now, but sometime. I would exact my revenge.

"Come on Clara! We're not going to be downstairs in time if you don't hurry up!" Randall called. "We need to discuss how we're going to go about asking!"

I sighed and walked down the stairs and into the living room, plopping down next to Randall on the love seat. "We can only go about asking," I started, leaning against his chest, my fingers moving their way up his chest, "if they're willing to listen."

Randall and I had discussed this with everyone else, and they all thought it was a good idea as well, especially Eleazar. He said he'd rather have an old friend take out my baby than someone he didn't know. If there was the possibility of making a treaty with them, that was going to be one of the definite conditions. I wasn't sure how I felt about this, on one hand, I was ecstatic, after nearly sixty years I would have my baby out at last, but on the other hand, I didn't want to strain relations between the Children of the Moon and ourselves, and for some reason my stomach tossed and turned at the idea, figuratively of course.

"I know," Randall said. "What's your point?"

"Well, you know how you can lose your temper sometimes, and since it's not the full moon and they can't protect themselves I don't want anyone getting hurt."

"You don't need to worry about that sweetheart, I know whatever happens will happen, if we get to spend more time with the little one so be it. As long as you're happy I'm happy."

Just then we heard them coming up the front walk.

"God damn vampires, eating my sheep and demanding for us to visit them, I'll give them a piece of my mind," a deep voice from outside grumbled. It was obviously the father, Christopher.

"Oh hush, Christopher. I'm sure they're nice people," Sarah's now somewhat familiar voice chided gently. She had called telling Nate to come home many times.

"Especially if one of them is Nate's girlfriend, ooh-la-la!" the voice of a young girl giggled, her light footsteps could be heard, tennis shoes slapping against the sidewalk in a rhythmic pattern.

"Shut up!" Nate hissed at her. Finally their footsteps came to a halt as they reached the door. A few seconds later the door bell rang.

Eleazar walked over and answered the door, a smile on his face. "Christopher! So nice to see you again, please, come in!" he said. "Feisty as ever I see," he added in reference to his comments coming up the walk.

Upon seeing that it was Eleazar who was answering the door, Christopher smiled back and his gruff demeanor vanished. "Eleazar, dear old friend, I'm happy to see that you got away from the Volturi."

"As am I, as you can see, I've managed to be able to live with the love of my life thus far and, well, we've established a family," Eleazar explained.

Christopher nodded, but then cocked his head to the side. "Ah, I see now Nate, his eyes are golden. I assume this is a result of your diet as Nate has told me."

At this Nate snuck past both Eleazar and Christopher and pecked Tanya on the cheek. Tanya smiled and grabbed his hand. "You're in loooooove with him," I mouthed again.

"Shut up," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, that's correct," Eleazar said, interrupting Tanya's and my silent conversation. "Children of the Moon aren't the only ones who can survive on both humans and animals. Of course, it's not quite as common for us to eat animals, but it's possible."

"Perhaps that's where my sheep have gone," he chuckled, winking. "You aren't the only one who started a family. Roughly 200 years after you helped me escape, I found Sarah," Christopher said.

"What is this about escaping from the Volturi?" Garrett asked curiously. He was always one for a good war story, he kept the History Channel on constantly and in the few months he had stayed with us, he had acquired many books. "I thought that was impossible with their tracker...Demetri was it?"

"Well, I was captured by the Volturi after I...made a proposition to Caius on behalf of the Children of the Moon who fed on animals, and he declined. I was thrown in their cell because I took a swipe at him," Christopher smiled. This seemed to be a fond memory for him. "They wanted to wait until the massacre was done, that way they could torture me with their witch twins, but, thanks to Eleazar, whom I known before we even knew what the other was, I was able to escape."

"What about Demitri?" Randall asked, leaning in for more of the story.

"You see, just about that time I found Carmen. I had been planning to leave the Volturi anyway, so as a final act I slipped Christopher the key, he was my friend; I couldn't have him tortured while I stood aside and watched. Shortly thereafter I gave Aro my resignation. Before he could see my memories himself I suggested that he have Marcus and Chelsea prove that I was not lying, that Carmen truly was my soul mate." Eleazar explained. "He did, and of course, they saw the truth, that Carmen and I were bonded beyond a doubt. Seeing as they were busy with the massacre, and about to feed, Ciaus shooed me away before Aro could check my memories. By the time they realized they had an escaped prisoner, there were others who needed to be locked away in the same cell. They decided it wasn't worth their time to hunt down a single Child of the Moon."

"And I'm glad they did," Christopher said as he took a few more steps inside, I could see him clearly, and apparently I came into Christopher's view for the first time. He stared and gaped at me. "A...pregnant vampire? Is that even possible?" he asked softly.

"I would suppose so since I'm sitting here with my fifty-nine year old baby," I said. The question "how?" would have been more appropriate, but asking if it was possible while he was looking at me was just stupid. It might have come off a bit strong, but after a while that question got really annoying.

"She was changed like that, it's unique, but nothing particularly confounding," Eleazar said.

"Odd..." Christopher murmured. "Do the Volturi visit you often? I'm sure Aro finds you...quite intriguing...he's always liked the unique."

"They've only visited for the purpose of checking up on me once, so I don't think that you're any danger from them if that's what you're asking," I replied.

"So will you stay?" Eleazar asked. "I've heard from Nate that you've been thinking about moving because of our presence?"

Christopher crossed his arms across his chest and looked around the room as if he were surveying us very carefully, as if one of us was a time bomb, waiting to explode, and he was waiting to find out which. "I'd like to trust you, friend," he finally said to Eleazar. "But unfortunately I cannot put my children at risk. My son here," he looked disdainfully towards Nate, "may choose to stay with you if he wishes as he will have it no other way, but I plan to relocate the rest of my family."

"No!" Randall exclaimed suddenly. Everyone turned to look. "We don't mean to make your family up and move. If need be we'd be willing to leave…right?" he asked. I knew that even though we all had equal say, it was risky for Randall to make an assertion like that.

Luckily Carmen agreed. "Of course, it would be rude of us to make you move, you were here first after all."

"But I'm sure an arrangement can be made," Randall piped up again, squeezing my hand.

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**Alright, hope you enjoyed that. Thanks to Megan for helping with the COTM and special thanks to my faithful reviewer noamg for helping to beta this chapter. Don't forget to review and I'll see you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	33. Chapter 33

** Hey readers! Well, here you go! Still don't own Twilight, still don't own Clara, hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 33.

_A Treaty between the Vampires and Children of the Moon Living in the Town of Normen England_

_This treaty does hereby certify that the Children of the Moon and the vampires living in Normen England, beginning in the year 2007 A.D., and continuing as long as both parties reside in the area, will coexist peaceably in the best interest of both parties, and the humans living in Normen._

_On the part of the vampires, no humans will be eaten willingly and purposefully, nor will any Children of the Moon be harmed during hunting, or any other time. The livestock of the Children of the Moon will also not be eaten by the vampires, and the consumption of the livestock of the humans will be kept to a minimum. The vampires will not call upon the Volturi in relation to the Children of the Moon, and if the Volturi are called upon for other reasons, or arrive upon their free-will, the Children of the Moon will be notified and protected from harm. _

_The vampires will be allowed free range of the town, and will be able to participate in public activities if they should so choose, and Tanya Denali will be allowed to attend Saint Catherine's Catholic School in Normen, until she graduates or has other cause to no long attend. The vampires will not be allowed on the premises of the Texas Road House while it is owned by Christopher Lampkin unless expressly invited to do so._

_On the part of the Children of the Moon, there will be no attacks made upon the vampires. The Children of the Moon will consume only their own sheep to allow enough game for the vampires without causing damage to the environment. Should other Children of the Moon become aware of the vampires in such close proximity, the Children of the Moon will try to the full extent of their power to prevent an attack and protect the vampires._

_The Children of the Moon will be allowed free range of the town, and will be allowed to participate in public activities if they should so choose. Nathaniel Lampkin will be allowed to attend Saint Michael's Catholic School in Normen until he graduates or has other cause to no longer attend, and when she comes of age Lindsey Lampkin may attend Saint Catherine's Catholic School in Normen until she graduates or has other cause to no longer attend. The Children of the Moon will not be allowed in the woods on the Denali's property unless expressly invited to do so._

_Both sides will keep the secret of the other, and will respect the other as brothers in secrecy. Romantic relationships between the two sides will be allowed so long as the treaty is upheld._

_Should a new vampire be created by the vampires mentioned in this treaty, the punishment will be decided and agreed upon by both parties based on evidence and the circumstances of the case. The same shall apply if a new Child of the Moon is created by the Children of the Moon mentioned in this treaty._

_A new vampire or Child of the Moon that was not created by either party will be able to join his or her respective party only when he or she signs this treaty, agreeing to respect and uphold it._

_If, for any reason, this treaty should be broken and both parties are still on speaking terms with each other, then a meeting between the two parties will be convened, and a suitable response shall be convened. If the two parties are not on speaking terms, then a third party for each side will be called upon to negotiate. The Volturi are not considered a third party._

_As a demonstration of the peace between the two parties, the leader of the Children of the Moon will perform a c-section to remove the child of the vampire Clara Finely Harris on August 19th 2007._

_Should either party want to make an addition or change the treaty above, a meeting of all those involved, and there must be a unanimous decision among both parties. _

_We, the below vampires and Children of the Moon, on June 5, 2007, do fully agree to the treaty above, and promise to carry out the terms outlined within it to the best of our abilities._

"You may go first dear friends," Eleazar said, handing Christopher the fountain pen.

Christopher Lampkin

Sarah Lampkin

Nathaniel Lampkin

Lindsey Lampkin

Eleazar Denali

Carmen Denali

Tanya Denali

Katarina Denali Freeman

Garrett Freeman

Randall Harris

Clara Finely Harris

As I signed my name it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was definite, it was on paper. On August 19th, the due date I had given the public, I would really be getting my baby out. Three months of debating and phrasing and we had finally finished the treaty that we hoped would last for years. Another two months of waiting so we could work out all the details of the c-section such as when and where and exactly how, and it would be all over.

Everyone leaned back in their chairs, especially the Lampkins, exhausted from staying up half the night to finish. We actually had to wake Lindsey up to have her sign the treaty in her neatest cursive, which she had just learned especially for this.

"Alright, time to go home kids," Sarah said, shaking Nate gently on the shoulder as he had begun to doze.

Christopher nodded and lifted Lindsey from where she had fallen back asleep in her chair, cradling her in his arms.

"Thank you," Sarah said softly, as she got up herself. "Maybe we'll run into each other soon."

"See you tomorrow babe," Nate said groggily as he pecked Tanya on the cheek. Tanya chuckled as she returned the kiss.

As soon as they left Kate walked over to Tanya with an evil grin on her face. "The Romantic Relationships Clause?" she questioned, grabbing Tanya's shoulder and squeezing it.

"So?" Tanya asked, getting up and walking away.

"Why would you include a clause about romantic relationships if you didn't plan on staying with him?" I asked, running up to her other side. Kate and I were going to corner her and make her tell the truth. She had been denying that she was in love with him for months now, and we figured that it was because of her outburst shortly after...the battle.

"It was his idea," Tanya shrugged although she quickened her pace. "He thinks we're soul mates or something...what was the word he used? Seelenverwandt...it's German, apparently the Children of the Moon are from Germany or something.'

"Tanya, that's the Children of the Moon's equivalent to soul mates," Eleazar said as he passed by. "The girls are right, there's no way you're _not_ in love with him."

Tanya stopped. "So? So what if I am?"

"Because, and I quote 'Love is a trap, nothing good has come out of any of our experiences, and love is only ephemeral and will kill you," Kate said.

"Maybe I was wrong...so?" she said.

"Nothing," I said, " we just want a formal admission."

"What if I don't want to give a formal admission?"

"Then we keep you here, forever," Kate said, closing Tanya off until we had her trapped between us.

Tanya made a move to bolt past me, but Kate reached out and grabbed her arm. Tanya winced as Kate's electric current ran through her. "AGH! KATE! LET GO OF ME!"

"Are you going to cooperate?"

"No," Tanya grimaced.

"I'd suggest you give up before she gets power hungry," I said. "She's not going to let up."

We waited her out for a few more minutes, then Kate upped the voltage.

"AH! Okay! Okay! I give up!" Tanya shouted.

"Now what were you going to say?" Kate grinned.

"I love him," she muttered quietly.

"What was that?" I asked. "I think my hormones clogged up my ears."

"I love him," Tanya muttered again.

Kate and I broke out into grins simultaneously. Kate squealed and threw her arms around Tanya. "We're so happy for you!" she exclaimed.

"But..." Tanya said slowly. "I've just been thinking lately, do you think that...Irina would approve?"

Kate took a step back, but still kept her hands on Tanya's arms. "Irina was never much for sappy romance," she said softly. "But in this case I think she'd approve."

"Really?" Tanya asked.

"At least this time you like someone who likes you back, there wasn't anything she hated more than the way Edward simply rejected you like it was nothing. Well, a tie between that, and Clara's baby."

"She did not hate my baby!"

Kate and Tanya both stared at me as if I had lost my mind, slight grins on their faces. I chuckled and we all started to laugh.

"I hope you ladies don't mind, but I'd like to borrow my lovely wife, we have some celebrating to do."

The month before Kate and Garrett had "gotten married" in a "very small, very private" ceremony on the farm, only for family. Their marriage certificate had come in the mail last week, and so they claimed to still be on their honeymoon, not that their honeymoon was much different from their everyday activities.

Kate smiled, it seemed like she was looking just over my shoulder, but I smiled back, then she grabbed Garrett's hand and ran up to the bedroom.

"You guys are disgusting, I renounce my admission," Tanya scoffed, rolling her eyes and heading back to her room.

Suddenly everything went dark as big, warm hands covered my eyes. Lips kissed me, starting at my head and ending at my jaw-line. "Guess who," a familiar voice whispered in my ear.

I felt the smile spread across my face as I reached up to feel the hands although I knew very well who it was. "Hmm...it's so hard to decide, I have so many lovers."

"I'm your favorite," the voice chuckled.

"Oh, Matthew, I should have guessed."

"Guess again," he said, taking his hands off my eyes and moving them to my sides, slipping his fingers under my shirt.

"Stop, Randall!" I squealed. "We're out in the middle of the hall!"

"Then maybe we need to move," he winked.

As we made our way down the hall however, his mischievous grin turned into almost a frown. "Mmm…what's wrong, darling?" I mumbled as we sat down on the bed. Had I done something wrong? Had I turned him off somehow? If I was I wasn't sure how, I was certainly ready to go.

"Nothing, I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Maybe you should take some of it off of your mind," I said softly, running my hands through his soft brown hair.

"I just…I just don't know if I'm going to be able to…hold back for two and a half more months. I know I've made it this far, but it's been excruciating, you know that. Garrett's doing so much better than me, and there's so much pressure to hunt only once every two weeks. What if I slip up?"

"Don't worry about what everyone else wants, you just hang in there. I'll go hunting with you as often as you need it. And what if you slip up? There's nothing we can do about that, everybody makes mistakes."

"Exactly, everybody makes mistakes, and I don't want my mistakes ruining your chances…_again_." He pulled me closer. "Let me go away, just for a little while, just until you get the baby out. I'm just sure that the first thing that'll happen if I have an accident is that they'll get rid of your c-section, at the very least they'll put it off indefinitely."   I sighed and leaned my head against his chest. "I don't want to have this baby without you, Randall; you promised you'd be there."

"When did I promise you that?" he asked, twisting a lock of my hair around his finger.

"Our very first night together, at that little inn in Kentucky," thinking about it brought the pain with it, but it was muted, a distant memory, sometime I found it hard to believe that I even had had a human life. "I told you how I had no one left to turn to, and how I wanted my baby to have a father."

"Ah, I remember now," he said softly. "But I never promised you anything, remember? I simply tried to tell you that your baby was stuck like that. Please, Clara, I only want what's best for you."

I knew he was right, it would be far less dangerous in terms of the treaty if he left, just in case he had an accident, but I was worried. I was worried he'd leave and that he wouldn't come back. Against all my logic I feared it would be years, not months, until I would see him again if he left. "Please," I whispered, "don't leave me."

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**Okay, again, hope you enjoyed! Thanks again to my betas, readers, and reviewers alike! If you feel the need please review!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hello again readers! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas (sorry, I will not succumb to happy holidays, it's a good wish and shouldn't be offensive). I didn't get the rights to Twilight nor did I get Clara for Christmas, so I still don't own them.**Chapter 34.

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"Ladies first," Randall smiled, opening the car door.

We were going on our last date night as a threesome, Randall, the baby, and I. The c-section was scheduled for next week and I could go into public far more often now because the size of my baby belly was now proportional to the number of months I had supposedly been pregnant. We planned on dinner and a movie, minus dinner although Randall could have stood to have some dinner, his eyes were the shade of reddish brown that signaled he was starting to get hungry. I had asked him if he wanted to eat, but he said he was fine.

The engine revved as we pulled out of the driveway. Once we were going down the road Randall popped in a CD of hits from the 40s and put his hand over mine. It was times like these when I felt truly secure, when I didn't have a shadow of a doubt that Randall loved me and would never leave me and that everything would be okay.

"What are we going to see?" I asked during a song change. We hadn't decided anything official, we just knew that we needed to get out to be alone, and that I wanted to go out one more time before I had to get the baby out and stay in for an indefinite period of time, mourning her death, both in our public story and in real life.

"Whatever you want doll-face, we have all night," he winked.

We drove for a good half-hour, going the speed limit of course, until we got into town. The streets were pretty much empty, no one went out this late on a Tuesday night, and that was a good thing, Randall wouldn't be tempted, I would get fewer stares and well, we would both enjoy the privacy.

We pulled into the parking lot of the theater and got out of the car when we were approached by the teenage girl parked in the space beside us.

"Excuse me!" she called, running up to us. "Hi! I'm really, really sorry, but I'm kind of lost."

That was strange, her accent made it seem like she was from here, and I thought I had seen her around before.

"Where were you heading?" Randall asked her.

"Well, I feel really silly, I go there all the time, but this is my first time out driving alone at night. I was going to the grocery store, do you know how to get there from here?" she asked.

I thought for a second, I remembered passing this theater the first time Carmen took me to get groceries. I traced the path in my mind.

"I think I know," I said, stepping forward. "Turn right from the parking lot, head up York Street until you hit the intersection at Haven Drive, then you turn left, then turn left at Miller Road, and that's the street the grocery store is on...right?"

"Yeah, I remember now, thanks!" the girl smiled, turning around to get back in her car.

Suddenly Randall stepped in front of me and grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "What are you, Clara? Crazy? Giving her wrong directions like that, you're going to to take her to the middle of nowhere," he said to me.

"No," I argued, I was pretty sure my directions were right. "Those were right. Carmen and I go to the grocery store all the time! I think I know how to get there."

"No, she's wrong, don't listen to her. You want to turn left here, then keep going until it turns into Louisa Drive, then turn right onto Nancy Street, the another right onto Frog Lane, and finally the grocery store is on Palm Road."

Even the girl looked confused at this. "Are you sure? I've never heard of any of those roads before."

"Trust me, I work right across the street from the grocery store, I know where I'm going."

That was a flat out lie. The grocery store was in the middle of a plaza with a beauty salon, a flower shop, and a store that sells knick-knacks, places that Randall would never work.

"What are you talking about Randall? Those streets don't even exist."

"Of course they do!" he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

For the next five minutes we argued about which directions were right while the girl stared in slight horror.

"YOU'RE INSANE, RANDALL! THOSE STREETS DON'T EVEN EXIST IN THIS TOWN! EVEN SHE KNOWS THAT!" I shouted.

"THEY DO SO! WHEN DO YOU EVER GET OUT, BUM?"

Ooooh...that was it. He could call me that in private, when we were joking, but out of anger and in front of someone? That crossed the line. Suddenly I did something I thought I would never do. Without even realizing it I slapped him across the face. At this we both took a step back, realizing that we probably looked like something off of Jerry Springer.

"Well," Randall stammered, "if you're so sure, why don't you go ask the movie theater people?"

"I think I will!" I huffed, turning around and marching towards the theater.

Before I was even ten feet away I felt bad. I just wanted to go back and hug him, but how stupid would I look if I did that? I felt foolish basing my decision off of pride, but I knew I would feel foolish if I gave in too. Besides, I was right, I had to prove it.

"Excuse me," I said, walking up to the register.

"Yes, may I help you?" the cashier said, popping her gum.

"How do you get to the nearest grocery store?"

"Okay, you turn right out of the car park here, then you go up York Street for about half a mile until you get to the intersection at Haven where you turn left, then once to see Miller Road you turn left again, and about a quarter of the mile up you'll see the grocery store, is that all m'am?"

"Yes, thank you," I said. I knew I was right. However, my thoughts of triumph were interrupted by one high pitched scream. It was short, almost clipped, but nonetheless it was there.

"Did you hear that?" I asked.

"Yeah, might have been someone's phone running low on battery," she shrugged. I knew it wasn't that, I had heard that sound several times before. Her human hearing was probably hearing it wrong. Suddenly I remembered the girl outside. I bolted out the door, probably faster than I should have as I heard the cashier's gasp.

More disturbing than the first scream was the scent that hit me as I ran through the door.

Blood. Human blood. Fresh, sweet, like roses, I caught myself before I could take a second breath. Once I was able to regain myself, I realized what had happened and the low moaning coming from the parking lot only confirmed it. It was a moaning I had heard before. It was the ecstasy of a kill. I had to push the subject from my mind to keep myself from falling to the same instinct, the scent of blood growing stronger as I sampled the air.

On the other side of the car, I saw him. Bent over, the ground, drinking, just drinking, his eyes wide as the fluid rushed through him. It made my heart and my stomach drop to think that the man who had taught me to control myself had lost control.

"Stop!" I finally managed to cry. "Stop!" At that I ran out of air, if I wanted to say anything else I'd have to breathe, so instead I closed the distance between us and tried to shove him away, but he wouldn't budge. I wasn't a newborn anymore; I was no match for him.

I grabbed his arms and tried to shake him off, but he merely pushed me away. I tried to pull away the girl even though she was long gone, but his grip on her was too tight, there was no way I could pull her away without breaking her and releasing more blood.

Finally she had been sucked dry, all the color gone from her skin, just a pale white ghost. Randall finally looked up, he breathed heavily out of instinct; his chest heaved. It took him a second to take in what he had done, but then his eyes grew wide again, not in ecstasy this time, but in horror.

"What have I done?" he whispered.

I risked my own control to take a breath. "Just stay back," I said softly, gently guiding him away from the scene.

The girl was dead, but that was not the end. If we wanted to stay here, even if only for a few more days, we'd have to clean this up. I slowly lifted her body off the ground. Luckily Randall had done a good job of making a clean kill. There wasn't any blood on the street, no evidence of a struggle, or that we had even been there. Supporting her with my arms, I used my fingers to open the car door then laid her on the floor of the back seat. Her red hair splayed across the floor and her blue eyes still stared up at me in anguish and horror. Gently I closed them shut and tried to manipulate her slender features into a more peaceful expression, but the closest I could get was a look of mild discomfort.

"Get in the car," I said, walking over to Randall and pulling the keys from his pocket.

Randall shook his head.

"Get in the car," I growled. I didn't want to use such harsh tones with him, but we needed to get away, we needed to figure out how to handle this so as not to implicate us in the crime we had committed, not because we didn't deserve it, but because we would do absolutely no better in prison where there were no animals to hunt, and the easiest way to get rid of witnesses was to not have any to begin with. Sure, Randall and I had cleaned up kills before, but that was when we were just passing through, never staying in one place, when by the time the police even found the body we would be in the next town.

Randall finally consented and got into the passenger side. Then I drove. I had no idea where I was going, just away from here. While I drove I speed dialed home, maybe someone there would know what to do, surely one of them had slipped before.

"Hello?" Tanya answered after three rings.

"Tanya, it's Clara."

"What's up, bum?" she chuckled, but the words made me wince. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Randall's hand rise half an inch, then fall back into his lap.

"Is Eleazar there?"

"No, he and Carmen went hunting, why?"

"Tanya, we need your help. Carmen and Eleazar aren't the only ones who went hunting tonight."

"Oh, no. Was it you or Randall?"

"Randall," I said. I saw him look down at his hands and start rubbing them together nervously.

"Okay, where are you?"

"Um..." I had no idea.

"We're heading south on Haven, we just passed Tanya's school," Randall muttered.

"We just passed your school, heading south."

"Okay, there should be an empty lot coming up to your right, just park there, I'll meet you guys in about 15 minutes."

Just as she said that I saw the lot coming up. I swerved into the lot and we parked.

We were silent for the first ten minutes. "I'm sorry, Clara," Randall finally mumbled.

"It's okay," I sighed. There was nothing that could be done now except maybe returning her to her family for a proper burial.

"I didn't mean to...I lost control, I don't even remember how it happened."

"I know." It had happened to me too many times before, these things just happened. I just wished I could have stopped it, I wished I hadn't listened to my foolish pride and left them alone, or better, that I had made him go hunting before we left. I KNEW that he was hungry; I should have recognized that he was just trying to get rid of me.

The rest of our wait was silence until Kate and Tanya arrived. "Hey," Tanya said, getting out of the car and hugging both Randall and I who had gotten out to meet her. "Alright, let me see what we're working with."

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**Well, hope you enjoyed that, it was an enjoyable chapter to write (I know that sounds weird, but it was). Thanks again to my betas and readers! Remember, that green button is your friend! See you all next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hello readers, I'll do most of my speaking at the bottom, so enjoy and know that only in an AU do I own Twilight or Clara.**

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Chapter 35.

I led Tanya to the other side of the car and opened the door.

"Oh, God!" Tanya screamed, leaping back.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I know her...that's Jade, she goes to my school," Tanya muttered. "This is not good, this is not good..."

"What do we need to do?" I asked.

"I guess we need to make a game plan," Kate said. "Um...where is her car?"

"It's back at the movie theater."

"Alright...Tanya, do you know where she lives?"

Tanya nodded slowly. "She's caught a ride home from me several times. I can get there."

"Then...we need to take her home...and her car," Kate came and took a blanket out of the car. "Here, it'll be less traumatic for the family if they can cover her up." She went over to the car and retrieved Jade's body, wrapping it in the blanket. "Here," she said, handing me the body and Tanya Jade's car keys and purse. "I'll take Randall home and see what Eleazar and Carmen want to do next."

Then we parted ways, Tanya and I took Randall's car, and Randall and Kate took Kate's.

"I can't believe it," Tanya said as we raced down the darkened streets, going at least twenty miles over the speed limit. Our excuse was going to be that I was in labor if we got pulled over, hopefully a police officer wouldn't search the back.

"Tanya, I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"You didn't do it," Tanya said slowly. She sighed and slowed the car down as we reached a neighborhood, "As bad as it is for me to say this, it's not Jade's death that has me upset right now. We didn't really like each other that much..."

"It's that Randall lost control and I couldn't stop him?"

"No, don't be silly, it's not your fault. It's just that...Jade is Nate's ex, and I'm worried about how his family is going to react. Nate said his family had really liked her, and were not happy at all when he broke up with her to date me. I'm worried about how they're going to react. We didn't just kill somebody, we killed somebody they knew and loved."

Oh crap. Randall. What would happen to him if they found out it was him who killed her? He would be dead for sure, if not as soon as they found out, whenever the next full moon came around. Suddenly I needed him by my side, I moved my hand as if his was there, but nothing. I knew he would be safe with Kate and the others, but I couldn't help but worry.

Finally we pulled into the movie theater again, the scene haunted me again.

"Hey, are you okay to drive home?" Tanya asked.

I nodded weakly.

"Okay, I see you're shaken up, but unless your name is Clara Finely and you spend nine and a third of every ten years away from society, accidents are going to happen. I want you to come with me and see how a body is properly dispensed in case this ever happens again."

I wasn't sure. If I only had a precious few hours left with Randall, I wanted to spend them with him, but Tanya didn't seem to think anything bad would happen, and I also wanted to pay last respects to the girl I had barely met.

"I'll go with you," I finally said.

"Thank you Clara," Tanya said. "Now I'll take Jade's car and we'll meet at home, but then I want you to get in with me and we'll go back to her house. Okay."

"Okay," I said.

Tanya got out of the car and took Jade's body with her. I was relieved. Even though her eyes had been closed, it was like I could see her staring at me, hear her shriek for help.

I had to concentrate to keep my hands from shaking as I followed Tanya home. I kept the music turned out loud to keep the shriek, and all my other thoughts and fears, away. We couldn't speed for fear of Tanya getting pulled over, so the half an hour between the theater and our house seemed like forever. When I pulled into the driveway I saw that Kate's car was in the driveway. I wanted to run inside and say goodbye to Randall before we went, but Tanya wouldn't let me. She honked the horn before I could even get out of the car.

Jade lived relatively close by, no more than a mile or two away, a sense of dread overcame me as we approached the house, finally pulling into the driveway.

"When the lights come on we have forty-five seconds tops, it depends on how far away the parent's bedroom is from the stairs."

I couldn't decide which was better, to have your child dropped off dead at your doorstep, or to have to file her missing while the police searched for her for days, only to find her body in a dumpster or in an alley somewhere. This would save them the heartache of having their hopes crushed, but what would happen when they pulled back the sheet to find their dead daughter inside.

"Stand here and watch for the lights," Tanya whispered, pulling the body out of the back seat. She sprinted the thirty feet to the front porch and laid the body down, as soon as she was on the porch the light flipped on.

"Light's on!" I called.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth Tanya sprinted into the forest and I followed behind her. We weren't far before we heard the shriek, high pitched and piercing, obviously the mother, shortly followed by a shorter shout of surprise. We didn't stop running as the screams turned to sobs. I couldn't help but imagining the scene in my head. Her mother on her knees beside the body, her grief stricken sobs echoing through the woods surrounding the house, her father's face white as paper as he stumbled backwards. He catches himself and steps forward to comfort the mother. Any siblings are awakened and rushing down the stairs to see what the commotion is about. The father shoos them away as they ask why mum is crying. Finally he thinks to call the police and rushes to the phone.

At that my imagination wandered from the subject. The sobs could no longer be heard and I tried to push it from my mind.

By the time we got home everyone was waiting. Tanya and I opened the door to see Eleazar pacing the living room.

"It's about time you get back!" Kate exclaimed as we walked in the door.

"I'm sorry!" Tanya huffed, "one can only go so fast with the pregnant woman in labor excuse."

"Girls, calm down," Eleazar said as he walked right by us, he seemed to be moving his lips, even after he had spoken, almost as if he were talking to himself.

"Don't you walk inside the house without taking off your shoes!" Carmen shouted. She was dusting everything in sight even though it was spotless. Tanya and I stealthily took off our shoes and put them by the door although there were a few slight pieces of dirt that had come off as a result of our stepping in.

Before Carmen could notice Garrett walked in and grabbed my arm. "Come with me," he said, pulling me down the hall, we stopped just before we got to Randall's and my room. "Look," he whispered, leaning closer so he could lower his voice further. "He's pretty torn up about this, and he won't listen to any of us, so you talk to him." With that he pushed me into the room.

Randall was seated on the edge of the bed, facing away from me. Even if he had been facing me he wouldn't have seen me; his face was buried in his hands and he didn't even look as I walked towards him. He looked so pitiful. I knew the killing itself couldn't have upset him this much, he had eaten humans for years before, and he had only switched to our way of life for me, not because he had enough quarrels with taking lives to quit, there had to be something else.

"Hey," I said quietly. I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he was strangely positioned and it was difficult to do so. Not only that, but he seemed to thwart my embrace. "Randall," I sighed.

He just shook his head.

"Really? Man up, you used to do this all the time," I chastised, hoping that by making him think I thought it was the killing he would reveal what it really is.

"It's not that," he said, finally looking up. He seemed tired, his face was worn but his eyes were glowing bright red, fresh from the kill. He lifted is arm as if to wrap it around me, but he hesitated and simply placed it on my leg instead. "I just hate thinking that this one accident put the whole family in danger. I knew I should have eaten, I just wanted to show you that I could do it."

I shook my head. He wanted to impress me and it ended up costing a human life, and perhaps his own as well. I tried again to wrap my arms around him, but again he shied away.

Then it happened. The phone blared through the house. The Lampkins were the only people who ever called us except telemarketers, and I wondered how they had found out so quickly, but finally looking out the window I saw the sunshine streaming in. I looked at the clock, it was 7:00. Usually most humans weren't up by now, but I suppose something like this would spread quickly.

"I'VE GOT IT!" Tanya shouted. From the silence of our room Randall and I could hear her running to get the phone.

"Hello?"

Because Tanya was downstairs, we couldn't hear the rest of the conversation word for word, but Nate sounded frantic.

"Alright, come on over," Tanya said.

Was she insane? Inviting the one person who could get us all killed over? Smart idea Tanya, smart idea. Then Randall decided to do something even stupider, he got up off the bed! Was he trying to get himself killed? If Nate's purpose wasn't to kill Randall already then once he saw the blood red eyes they would know. I knew Randall felt bad about putting the family in danger, but it would do my heart no better to lose him.

"Randall, don't!" I cried, getting up and grabbing his hand, pulling him back.

He turned around and simply said, "Eleazar said it would be best for us to be up front about this whole incident, that hiding it would make things worse in the end," before he pulled his hand out of my grip and continued down the stairs. By the time we got downstairs Nate was there, he must have driven. He was sitting at the kitchen table, refusing Carmen's offer to make him breakfast. Of course we all knew what happened, but it seemed we were waiting for him to bring it up. Randall stepped in the room and I stood protectively in front of him. He tried to move me inconspicuously, but I refused to budge.

Finally Nate sighed. "Tanya...I guess I should come right out and tell you...you know my ex, Jade?"

Tanya bit her lower lip and nodded.

"Well...last night...she was m-murdered...they found her dead on her front porch."

"I'm really sorry Nate," Tanya said, sitting down beside him and rubbing his back.

"And...and as if that wasn't bad enough...my parents think it was you guys who did it."

I stood on my toes to try and cover Randall's red eyes with my head, but he just pushed me back down onto my feet, where his eyes were visible.

"...but I had to sneak out to come over here to warn you...my parents are wrong...you guys didn't do it...right?"

"I'm sorry Nate," Randall sighed. He caught me off guard and managed to move me as I looked back out him.

As his head turned he didn't seem to understand, but as he looked Randall in the eyes his jaw dropped.

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**I'm sure you're all trying to use the force to strangle me right now as it is obvious you are getting impatient, so seeing as we have one more chapter to go before we get to the chapter which contains the event you are anticipating (although you might want to watch out, things are not always what they seem), I am going to have you vote :). Since I am a few chapters ahead, I could post the next chapter on Wednesday and next Sunday we'll have the chapter you've been waiting for. On the other hand, I could keep the current schedule which would keep you in suspense for another 2 weeks. It's your decision, please cast your vote in a review or message because I'm too lazy to put up a poll. Thanks to everyone and happy new year!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hello all! I only received one vote last Sunday, but that vote was to post today, so I shall, so for your enjoyment, here is your chapter, do enjoy!**

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Chapter 36.

"You didn't," Nate said slowly.

Randall was silent.

"You killed her! You fucking killed her!" he shouted. He got up out of his seat and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

"Nate, please, he didn't mean to," Tanya begged, grabbing his arm.

He shook it off and continued towards Randall. He seemed to be growing bigger by the second, hair spurted out of his arms, he grew a full fledged beard in about five seconds. I finally realized what was happening, he was changing, very slowly. He stopped and looked at his arms which now may as well have been furry fore-legs. He howled as he fell to his knees. From there the change took place rather quickly. His face elongated, his clothes ripped from his body and his body contorted. From the look on his face it was rather painful. Once he was turned he lunged towards Randall, but his change had been slow enough for us to take action. Kate grabbed him and he whimpered, jumping away from Kate and into Tanya's grip. After a quick glare at Kate, Tanya threw him to the floor.

"Stop this, I know you know better. Murder does not clean up murder," Tanya said sternly, stroking the fur on his shoulders.

Nate spoke up in his gravelly wolf voice. "There's nothing that I would do to him that my father won't when he finds out."

"We'll negotiate with him when the time comes," Eleazar said calmly.

How could he be so calm? There was a werewolf in the kitchen and it wasn't even the full moon!

"I understand you're upset, and we're all incredibly sorry, aren't we Randall?"

"Nate, I'm more sorry than you could know."

Nate took a deep breath, his shoulders heaved. "I don't think my father will be willing to negotiate I...I can't say I'll help you...but...I won't hurt Tanya, and if she doesn't want me to hurt you guys, I guess I won't."

"Thank you Nate," Eleazar smiled.

"Come on baby, let's go for a run," Tanya said, finally letting Nate up from the floor. He followed her out of the kitchen and after a few seconds we heard the door slam.

Randall grabbed my hand and led me to the living room where we could be alone. I felt my heart break. I couldn't imagine what would happen when Chris came over. Despite his history with Eleazar, he seemed the least friendly of all the Children of the Moon. He rarely visited, only when Sarah dragged her along. We had broken the treaty, why would he have reason to heed our agreement to talk things out. It was obvious now how easily they could lose themselves if they were angry, who said Chris wouldn't just snap and tear Randall apart then and there? It would be over my dead body of course, but still, who said it couldn't happen?

He walked around me and took my other hand. "You look scared," he said softly.

I couldn't look at him. I knew I wouldn't be able to look him in the face without breaking down. "I am scared," I said softly.

He took a step closer, "You have nothing to be afraid of," he whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you. This is my fault and I'm not afraid to take the punishment."

He didn't get it. I wasn't scared for myself. I wasn't the one Chris would go after. "You don't understand..." I started, but then the back door flew open.

"NATHANIEL LUCAS LAMPKIN! IF YOU ARE OVER HERE WITH THESE BLOOD SUCKING FIENDS I'LL KILL YOU!" Chris shouted. I jumped and Randall grabbed me tightly and held me close.

If we were both going to die, these last few moments were about as good as I could have imagined, just the two of us, holding each other, never letting go. In my imagined scenario it wasn't quite as terrifying, but at least we were together. Well, I wouldn't let him go so easily. I pressed my body up against his, holding down on the couch with my weight.

"He's not here Christopher," Eleazar said, walking into the room. "Now we understand you know about the...accident...of our newest member."

"I knew it was you," he growled. "I _knew_ you wouldn't be able to stick to your treaty."

"Try to understand Christopher, our preferences in blood are much stronger than yours in meat. You only have to eat once a month, our hunger is constant. Please, Randall is new to this life style, he's only been hunting animals for eight months now. We beg you to be lenient in your punishment."

Christopher sneered as he stepped forward. "Lenient, you say? One of your 'family' killed someone my family cared for very much, and you want me to be _lenient_?" Chris began to grow hair like crazy as well. Although Chris already had a beard, it just grew longer, the hair covered the rest of his face and he jumped up into the air to make his turn easier. He let out a howl as he landed on all fours and lunged towards me and Randall.

Carmen's scream pierced the air and Randall threw me to the side as he and Chris went head to head. I crashed through the wall with a thud and the plaster fell around me.

"Are you alright?" Carmen asked me.

I nodded, but my eyes didn't move from the action. In the few miliseconds it took me to orient myself again Carmen had come to my side and Eleazar and Garrett were pulling Randall and Chris apart. Once they were not so intertwined in their wrestling Kate intervened and kept a steady hand on Chris. From the deep look of concentration on her face she was using her highest voltage, but Chris still struggled under Eleazar's grip.

"What is going on in here?" a voice asked from the door.

Most heads turned towards the busted back door where Sarah was standing, hands on her hips, in the broken doorway, a second later Tanya appeared behind her. Chris continued to struggle. She stepped towards him and kneeled. "Christopher Anthony Lampkin, what do you think you're doing?" she said harshly.

He looked up. "I'm only repaying them for what they did," he said, his voice was even deeper than Nate's, the frequency almost unnatural for a human. "_They_ broke the treaty, not me."

"No, you both broke the treaty. It explicitly states that the punishment will be decided and consented by both parties, and not only was I not consulted as the other legal adult in our party, this looks like consent in no way."

"Alright," he grumbled. "Let me up, Eleazar."

Slowly Eleazar released him.

"I'll run home and change back, then we will discuss this. Don't think Sarah can't do anything if you should try something again," Christoper said.

"Nate is over at the house watching Lindsey...do you think he needs to come?" Sarah asked.

"I think his presence would be beneficial to both sides," Eleazar said, "please, bring him back with you if you don't mind."

With that Christopher nodded and ran out the way he came in.

It was quiet for a moment as Randall made his way back to me and Garrett wrapped himself protectively around Kate.

"Please, have a seat," Carmen finally said weakly, gesturing to the now plaster covered couch.

Sarah sat down, dusting off a spot on the couch.

"How bad is it going to be?" Tanya asked. "Do you think it'll be something like an exile, or is the treaty going to be modified?"

Sarah shrugged. "I don't know. We're obviously very upset, but I'm sure that Nate and I will be able to make sure the punishment is fitting to the crime. My husband is a bit of a hothead if you haven't noticed."

"I'm sorry, if it helps any," Randall said softly. His hands ran up and down my baby bump, caressing it with his fingertips, it was strangely soothing. I didn't speak up, but still, one word about harming him or exiling him and I would jump at the chance to take partial responsibility. If he was going to leave, be it this town or this world, I was going with him.

Looking up I caught Sarah's gaze. She looked worn and saddened, but there seemed to be some sort of understanding in her eyes. Perhaps she too worried about losing her husband in all of this although I wasn't sure why.

A few minutes later Christopher returned with Lindsey and Nate in tow.

"What happened here?" Lindsey asked, staring at the gaping hole in the wall.

"Nothing that can't be fixed, why don't you sit in the other room and watch some television?" Carmen asked, leading her up the stairs and probably taking her to one of the guest bedrooms.

"I'm sure we can commence the meeting in the kitchen," Eleazar said, stepping in and pulling open one of the uppermost cabinets. On the top shelf lay an envelope, in which the treaty, the original treaty seeing as both sides had copies, was stored. "Now I know this case is not specified in the agreement, but I know we can work something out," he said, placing the treaty on the kitchen table as we all took a seat.

"Well Randall," Christopher said gruffly. "What do you think the punishment should be?"

Randall looked down, "I'll be willing to accept anything that is agreed upon."

What? What was he saying? Was he saying that he would accept death with no rejection? There was only one way to make sure he didn't agree to anything stupid.

"I also take responsibility, I was there as well and left Randall and Jade alone together not knowing what would happen."

Christopher almost seemed to grin at this.

Fear filled Randall's eyes almost immediately. "Please, do not harm my wife, I convinced her to leave, I convinced her I was fine."

"I should have been able to judge his hunger and I judged incorrectly, I accept responsibility for that," I repeated although it was more for Randall than the others.

"Well, I suppose death is a little harsh as it is your first offense," Christopher said, idly twisting his beard between his fingers. "But it is a serious first offense, I'm sure you agree."

"We do," Randall and I answered in unison.

"Nathaniel?" Christopher called. "Please share your thoughts."

"I don't think I'm in a proper state of mind to answer," Nate replied. "I'm still grieving the loss of my friend."

"I think that would be the perfect state of mind to make this decision," Christopher said raising his eyebrows dangerously.

"I don't want to give an unjust punishment," Nate argued.

"Well, you aren't willing to decide, I will negotiate with the vampires," Christopher said authoritatively. "Randall it is obvious what you have done. I feel that as this is your first offense, death and exile are too strong."

"We agree, most of us slip up at least once when we first transition," Eleazar said. "Perhaps something more subtle can be worked out, maybe a monetary agreement?"

"No," Christopher said thoughtfully, "both of us have far more money than we need, although perhaps a certain amount to the family could be part of your retribution. Still, with you money comes and goes like nothing, we need something substantial."

"I'm sure Randall would be more than willing to help on your farm," Eleazar said. Randall nodded.

"Ha!" Christopher laughed. "Why should I think he wouldn't eat my cattle? No, I don't trust him." Suddenly Christopher got a look in his eyes. "I am not exactly at peace with your family Eleazar, perhaps with more time, but not now, I think that it would be appropriate if we put off the c-section."

"No!" Randall growled. "It isn't fair for the one who had the least to do with the crime bear the brunt of the punishment."

"Actually, I think it would be a suitable punishment," I said. I'd so much rather wait to have the baby out than to lose Randall in any way shape or form. I'd gotten this far with the baby, I could wait a little longer. It would be a letdown with the original date being so close, but I knew I could handle it.

"It does seem to bother him, and the point of punishment _is_ that he doesn't want to do it again," Christopher chuckled. "I suppose as long as the others agree then we can settle that and pick a new date?"

"As long as Clara and Randall are okay with it we agree," Garrett said, pulling Kate closer to him.

"I agree with them," Tanya said.

"I do too," Nate said, following Tanya's lead.

"I don't think Randall will agree, but if he does then it gets our okay," Eleazar said.

"Well Randall, it appears it's up to you. We've come to a mutually agreeable solution, now are you going to take it like a man, or are we going to have to go back to square one?" Christopher said, leaning towards us.

"If it's what Clara wants I'll agree...but I won't like it."

"Well what would be the point if you liked it?" Christopher laughed, his face darkening. "So it's settled then? Shall we write it into the treaty?"

_Amendment 1: Because of a violation of the treaty on the part of the vampires, the date of the removal of Clara Finely Harris' baby is now December 6, 2008.

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**There it is. Hope you have a nice rest of the week! See you next Sunday!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	37. Chapter 37

**Long time no see readers (haha)! Well, I know you've all been looking forward to this chapter, but I just awnted to say I've never taken so much pleasure in being called evil in my life, that made my day. Anyway, don't own Twilight, don't own Clara, that's the reason why I do freaky plot things. :)

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Chapter 37.

After the accident Randall seemed distant. The original due date came and went and he didn't make much of it. Summer faded into fall and he rarely brought it up, all the while sticking to the diet and feeding regularly. He was doing everything he was supposed to, but it seemed he was only going through the motions. December 6 came and he commented on how I only had a year left a few times, but although he was encouraging, he felt so far away. Usually he wouldn't let me touch him, and when he touched me it was like I was a glass doll, ready to crack at any moment. We made love much less often, and he seemed to be avoiding me, always at work or with Eleazar and Garrett. Sometimes I wondered if it was because he had stopped finding me attractive, if it was because the baby turned him off and he was disappointed it wasn't out yet.

We had a few arguments over this, but nothing to break us--I hoped. It felt like I was losing him, a little at a time, but as the due date approached again I felt him beginning to come back. He took off the entire week before the c-section and stayed home all day with me "to prevent any accidents," and during that time he finally seemed to relax around me. He'd wrap his arm around me while watching the evening news, or I'd catch him watching with a little smile as I moved a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, he still wasn't nearly as open with me, but it was baby steps and I was grateful for them.

At midnight on December the sixth he came over to me smiling like he had just won the lottery, he seemed back to his old self. Part of me jokingly wondered if it was the full moon doing its magic. Even though after the accident Randall and I found out that the Children of the Moon can change outside of the full moon when extremely angered, we all agreed that we didn't want an extremely angered werewolf performing surgery.

"Today's the day," Randall smiled, walking over and wrapping his arms around me like he used to. It was a huge baby step followed by another. "We have a few hours though," he said with a wink, "how about one more time? For old times' sake?"

I couldn't help but beam. "It's so good to have you back," I said, taking his hand as he led me up to the bedroom.

"What are you talking about?" he chuckled. "I've been here the whole time."

I decided not to push my luck and pushed the subject from my mind instead. It was a good idea, it had been a long time and it was evident that we were both relieved to feed our second hunger.

A few hours later and the day ahead looked to be the best and worst of my vampire existence. At seven o'clock sharp Christopher was going to come and take out my baby, but that meant I was going to have to face my baby, the little girl, or boy, I had to realize, who had been inside me for all these years. I was almost afraid of what he or she was going to look like. Had the venom preserved the features perfectly, or added that unnatural beauty, like it had done to mine? It made me shudder to think that it may have acted as an acid and burned off the flesh, only leaving a skeleton where a baby had once been.

Would the baby look like Robert? I wasn't sure if I would be able to bear that. As the years passed his face faded more and more in my memory, all but the one image of his lifeless body on the hospital floor. Because I was a vampire when I killed him that image never faded, I could still see every detail perfectly from his disheveled red hair and unshaven face, likely from staying by my bedside for too long, to the small pool of blood that had spilled from his body as the result of the kill of an amateur. My throat began to burn and my heart began to ache just thinking about it.

"What's wrong, love?" Randall asked gently, stroking my hair.

My mind jumped back to the present and I found the old feelings of betrayal creeping back up on me. I shoved them back. "I'm just a little nervous," I sighed.

"There's nothing to be worried about," he reassured me. "It's six thirty, I suppose we should get out of bed now," he smiled, pushing away the covers.

After a quick shower I got dressed and hurried down the stairs. Christopher was going to be here any second. The doorbell rang and Eleazar beat both Randall and I to it.

"Christopher, it's good to see you again," Eleazar smiled, opening the door wider so our guest could enter.

"As it is good to see you," Christopher replied. "Are we ready, Clara?"

I nodded eagerly. I just wanted to get this over with.

We walked up the stairs and headed into the bedroom.

Eleazar, Randall, Carmen, and Kate stood by to watch. Eleazar didn't have to be at work until 9, Randall was still "taking a vacation" and Kate decided to take off work to witness the c-section and help if needed. Tanya had to go to school, she was now taking classes at the local community college, and Garrett had opted out of watching my stomach being cut open and was downstairs looking at a book seeing as his job didn't start until 8.

"Actually," Christopher said, "I'd prefer to work with Clara alone, it may make me nervous to have so many people looking over my shoulder."

The others consented and left the room, Carmen first, Randall last, leaving me a quick kiss and wishing me good luck.

"We should get started, I'll change first," Christopher said.

I turned away until I heard the sound of claws hitting the floor, coming towards me. "Now take off your pants," he said.

I couldn't tell if it was just his voice, or if his tone was rough. Either way I obliged, kicking off my pants, pulling up my shirt to expose my stomach, and lying down on the bed.

"Your underwear too," he said shortly.

I cocked my head in confusion. "I don't think I need to take off my underwear for you to do this."

"I did my research, the cut goes along the bikini line, right where your underwear is," he ran his finger along the spot, sending chills down my spine, "and frankly, those seem to be nice panties, we wouldn't want to rip them now would we?"

"I have plenty just like them," I replied, "it doesn't matter if they're ripped."

"I want them off," he growled.

Reluctantly I slid the fabric down my legs. I didn't like being this exposed in front of someone I barely knew. Still, when the baby came out it would be worth it, it would be over.

"Very good," he said with a wolfy grin. "It looks like I'm going to need to cut here," he clumsily dragged his claw along the top of my stomach. "Oops, I'm sorry; in this form I'm not quite as flexible as I am in my human form, when I'm upright at least. Perhaps it would be easier if I was positioned over you like this," he climbed on to the bed and knelt over me. This was becoming less and less comfortable by the second. "Much better, let's begin."

His claws were much steadier as they tore the skin near the bottom of my baby belly, I groaned as the flesh tore open and the pain sunk in. It had been so long since I had received any kind of wound that the sudden burst of it was surprisingly strong. This wasn't like when Carlisle was trying to cut open my finger with his tooth, this was sharper. It was like the burning in my throat when I was hungry, but it didn't cause hunger, just hurt. I waited to hear something from Christopher, "it's a girl," "it's a boy," "it's out now," even just the rustling of the sheets as he worked silently, but I neither heard nor felt anything from him. The skin was open but he was just sitting there.

"What are you doing?" I moaned. I reached for the opening; the hole was there, it was big enough, what was he waiting for? Another touch revealed my skin beginning to close up again, he needed to hurry.

He leaned down and I could see the malice on his face. "Stupid girl, surely you didn't think that after all your kind as done to us, that we would help you so readily," Christopher growled.

Then things were turned upside down. I screamed as a pressure that wasn't supposed to be there pierced me. He put his furry paw over my mouth and held me down with his other legs as I struggled against him. Each time I thrashed he ran his claws across my face or dug them into my arm.

One, two three, four, five times I felt him enter into me despite my fight against him and everything clicked. He had never intended to take out my baby. He just wanted to use me to release his own disgusting desires to get revenge. The anger at that gave me strength I thought I had lost. I got up and threw him off the bed. He fell against the dresser with a loud crash and the door flew open.

"What's going on in here?" Randall asked at the scene. It must have been confusing. Me on the bed half naked, cut up everywhere, Christopher sitting slightly dazed in the debris of what was once our dresser.

Before I could answer Christopher came back to his senses and bolted out of the room.

Randall did a double take before growling and taking off after him. I still wasn't sure if he knew what Christopher had done or if he was only chasing him because he seemed suspicious.

"Randall!" I called, getting up shakily and walking to the door. He wasn't in sight. "RANDALL!" I shouted before sprinting to the top of the stairs.

He stopped at the front door and looked back at me, anger written across his face. Anger melted into shock as both he and I remembered that I was torn up everywhere.

The air rushed into cuts on my face and arms, stinging what lay between the cracks. Flesh dead, but exposed, blood from my last feed trickled down my left arm. I quickly wiped it away, hoping Randall hadn't caught scent, and then I realized it.

The baby! I gazed down at my stomach, but it was too late. The gaping hole that had been cut was closed, that cut was healed.

I reached down and tore at the skin, furious. Furious at Christopher for what he had done, furious at myself for not realizing what he was doing sooner, furious at the others for leaving us alone, unsupervised. Furious that Randall was still standing at the front door, virtually clueless as to what had happened.

Realizing that my clawing was useless, I took one step down the stairs then stopped. My body acted as if it had its own will and sat down. I buried my head in my hands, my fingers detecting the skin on my face already healing, and cried.

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**I know, I know, I know, you HATE me as of currently, but that's okay, I've accepted that, it's all part of the plan. I promise the rest of the plot will be relatively fast moving, we're nearing the end! Thanks to everyone who makes this story possible!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey there readers! So on to the next chapter, no? I admit, I'm sorry for building you up for nothing, but it was a neccesary plot twist. I'm trying to make it up to you, and despite exams I spent almost all of yesterday working on this chapter for you. Hope you enjoy it!**

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Chapter 38.

"Hello!" a voice called as the front door swung open. For a moment the hope that it was Randall flickered, but only for the instant in which I didn't recognize the voice as Tanya's. My heart sank.

A second set of footsteps came down the hall and I recognized the voice that went with them as Nate's. My muscles tensed in anger and my vision turned red as I remembered what his father had done. I remembered his words: "Stupid girl, surely you didn't think that after all your kind as done to us, that we would help you so readily."

The initial shock was beginning to wear off and now the anger which was slowly growing in me exploded as I flew towards him, catching him by surprise and pinning him to the wall.

The shock on his face caught me off guard for just a moment, but that moment was critical. Nate pushed me off of him and with equal force Tanya pulled me away.

"YOU!" I shouted through gritted teeth. I thrashed in Tanya's arms as those of us who were still at the house rushed into the room.

An electric jolt started at my arm and shook my whole body. I continued to jerk, part of it being the electricity, but most of it still my anger.

"Clara! Stop! You don't know that it was him!" Kate shouted, sending another volt through me.

My vision finally returned to normal and I backed off. Tanya released me and I stumbled forward, towards Carmen who was standing in front of Nate. Both she and Kate reached out to catch me…or to stop me, I wasn't sure which. Kate grabbed a hold of me first, and pulled me to the side.

"What's going on?" Tanya asked. "Clara, why are you still…?"

"Could my Dad not do it?" Nate asked.

"Didn't…your father didn't do it," Carmen said softly.

Nate cocked his head in confusion. Was it really that hard for him to figure out? Did he not know his own father's hatred of vampires? "Did he not show up or something?"

"He showed up alright," I growled.

Nate still looked confused. The others looked at me for explanation. I hadn't told anyone but Randall what had happened yet although I was pretty sure he had told them. For the first few hours after the men left to hunt Christopher down, I all I could do was sit at the top of the stairs in shock as Kate and Carmen had tried to get something out of me. They had finally convinced me to change clothes and sit downstairs in the living room with them. All I could do there was sit by the window and watch for the men to come back.

As I watched I ran a thousand different scenarios through my head. The fire in Randall's eyes as he left kept coming back to me. In my imaginings he always broke off from the group, he found Christopher, he challenged him to a fight, and he lost, not only the fight, but his life. I wished I had begged him not to go, told him that I wouldn't be able to bear it if on top of all this I had lost him, but he was gone, it was too late, all I could do was hope he didn't do anything stupid.

Tanya looked at me warily and I came back to the present. "What did he do?" she asked.

My lower lip quivered as I shook my head. I didn't want to believe it had happened. I didn't want to believe that I had been as stupid as to let it happen.

Kate tightened her grip on me and rubbed my arm comfortingly.

"He…he cut me open, and it seemed like everything was going as planned, but then…then he stopped and said that there was no way he was going to help me after all vampires had done to Children of the Moon, and then he raped me." I sighed. It was out, I had said it.

I watched as Nate's face became a blur of emotions. Shock, disbelief, sadness, anger, and worry danced across his features, fighting for dominance. "Why would he do that?" he asked, his voice was thick.

"I don't know."

"Where are the others?"

"They went to look for him."

Nate swung his head around to look at Tanya. "We have to go check on my mom and Lindsey," he said, worry finally winning over his features.

Tanya's gaze switched between Nate and me. "You go ahead," she finally said, "I need to stay with my family."

"I'll meet you back here," he said, walking over and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. He looked away from us after that, hiding his face in shame as he ran out the door.

After he left there was silence again as Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and I all stared at each other. After about fifteen minutes Tanya walked over to Kate and me. She wrapped her arms around us and whispered, "I'm sorry, Clara."

I wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault, but instead I broke down again. It was all too much, the worry, the stress, the pain, the fact that I wouldn't be seeing my baby, it all sunk in and clawed at my heart like Christopher's claws had done to my skin, leaving it open and exposed.. Carmen joined our circle and I lost all sense of time. The pain penetrating my exposed heart and that which was beginning to grow in my throat was all I could feel as I sobbed into Tanya's shoulder.

Everything I had hoped for my baby seemed to go away. The imaginings of cookouts and Christmas and flowers and a growing girl I had elaborated for years seemed so empty now and with those made-up memories gone and Randall away, I felt detached from everything. I saw no reason to stay except to wait for Randall to come back and see what was left of us.

The back door swung open and my heart felt a bit of hope that it was them, but when I looked up I saw only Nate.

"They're gone!" he panted. "I looked everywhere and I tried calling my mom on her cell, but she left it at home." He started to pace.

Tanya looked up as well and let go of me. "Calm down Nate," she said, walking over to him. Maybe they just went to the grocery store or something. Was her car still there?"

"Yes, it was still there, but my dad's wasn't. I think he took them. I think he took them to use as hostages, the bastard!" He pulled a note from his pocket. "He left this on the kitchen table. He wants me to think it was a mutual decision, but it's not. He's always pushed them around, they would have stayed! They would have! Mom wouldn't have uprooted our family like that!"

"What does the note say?" Tanya asked. "Maybe it'll help us find them."

"I don't think so," Nate muttered. "It says: Dear son, I'm sure by now you have noticed that the house is empty. Your mother, sister and I decided it was time to move, given certain circumstances. Do not fret, for I'm sure your bloodsucking girlfriend and her family of parasites will take you in. Don't even bother looking for us, you will not be able to find us. I hope you have a wonderful life with your leech, Nate. You are a disgrace to our kind. Shamefully, your father."

As he finished Nate's face seemed to twist again. "He thinks I'm a disgrace."

"You're not a disgrace Nate, you're better than all of them," Tanya said, putting her hand on him gently.

"You don't understand Tanya," he said, jerking away. "My father thinks I'm a disgrace to our kind. He took my mom and sister and left me here."

"It's okay Nate, you don't need them," Tanya said, trying again to comfort him.

"It's not!" he shouted. He kicked over a table and a deep growl resonated from him. "Damn full moon," he muttered as he began to shake. He ran back outside. We could hear his frustrated scream from where we were standing and when he came inside he was fully changed, clothes in his arms. "They're going to change tonight," he said, "in this form we can go faster than we could in a car. He's going to make his escape with them tonight; I have to go find them."

"I'll go with you," Tanya said. She looked at us. "I'll be back by morning."

With that they left too. Now a house that was once seven was only three. I went back to the living room and sat back down in the big red armchair I had been sitting in before. The soft fabric succumbed to my weight and I leaned into it. My eyes found their way to the window. A few hours later Kate joined me, shortly followed by Carmen. We all seemed to shrink into ourselves as we waited for their return. There was nothing to do but that.

Morning came and Tanya returned, carrying a sleeping, human Nate in her arms. "We didn't find them," she mouthed to us before going upstairs.

Kate called in sick to work again and we continued to wait.

"I think Eleazar will agree that we should move soon," Carmen said.

In some ways it was a surprise, we had planed on staying here for at least two or three more years. But on the other hand, we didn't seem to have much luck here, and we couldn't stay here as long as we had stayed in Alaska due to the fact that we all had jobs in the town and there were more people to notice our not aging.

"I was thinking about going to South America next," Carmen continued thoughtfully. "It would be nice to visit Zaphrina, Kachiri, and Senna."

Kate nodded in agreement, but nothing else was said about it.

Finally around eleven o'clock, the outlines of people could be seen from the window. As they approached it was evident that the outlines were Eleazar's tall but ample frame, and Garrett's barrel chest was easily identifiable.

Kate smiled widely as she got up to open the door for them. I kept watching for Randall's tall, lean frame to emerge from the forest, but the others came closer and he was nowhere in sight.

Carmen also got up to meet them at the door, but I continued to look out the window and watch for him.

"Garrett!" I heard Kate call, she met him in the middle of the front lawn and he swung her in his arms. Still I watched for Randall.

Carmen was calmer and simply embraced Eleazar at the door.

Soon he walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, causing me to break my stare. "Randall is going to keep looking," he said simply. "He'll come back when he finds Christopher. He said to tell you he loves you and ask you to wait for him."

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**Well, there you are, hoped you liked it. Again, sorry for misleading you in my parts down here (in the story it was enivitable, no? Clara thought she was getting the baby out too). Hope you guys can forgive me for that and keep reading. Thanks!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	39. Chapter 39

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Hello lovely readers! I know this is a tad late in the day, but I have been busy today and hadn't had time to post it until now. I still do not own either Clara or Twilight. Hope you enjoy!

**PS: The formatting is doing weird stuff today, so if there are lines in random places or strange irregular bolding or italics or the part where it says "Chapter 39." is not centered, I apologize.**

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Chapter 39.

"He said to tell you he loves you and ask you to wait for him." Those words kept me rooted to my seat, looking out the window for unhealthy amounts of time, even for a vampire.

Eleazar and Garrett always came back, they looked only every other day, but Randall never returned, and neither Eleazar nor Garrett ran into him after that first day. So I just sat there, waiting for him.

I knew I was acting exactly like Irina had when Laurent was gone, and yet there was nothing I could do to stop myself. Sometimes I would try to do something else, the same attempts of distraction that were given to Irina were given to me, but somehow I always found myself walking back to the chair and staring out the window.

Unlike Irina however, my bedroom was completely off-limits. About a week after everything had happened Garrett and Eleazar cleaned it up for me, but I refused to go in and be reminded.

The others waited for three months before they decided to go on to South America. They were going to stay in the Amazon Rainforest in Brazil, not far from where Kachiri, Senna, and Zaphrina lived. They tried to entice me to go with them with stories of all the different species of animas there were to eat and the lush tropical greenery which was so different from the climates we were usually contained to. But I couldn't. I had to wait for him. They didn't like the idea of me staying at the house all by myself, but I wouldn't make them stay here for my sake. I knew I was being difficult, but I refused to let him go that quickly. Finally Tanya and Nate announced that they were going to stay in the country, or at least within Europe, looking for Nate's family. With that Eleazar, Carmen, Kate, and Garrett finally agreed to let me stay.

"Now don't go into town unless you have to, eat every two weeks or more often if you need it, but don't wander too far, and if you need us or decide to come join us just call, okay?" Carmen instructed as she threw her carry-on over her shoulder. She then hugged me and I felt another pang of guilt.

"We wish you were coming," Kate said, replacing Carmen's hug as soon as she let go. Pang number two.

"Don't do anything stupid," Garrett said sarcastically throwing his arm around me. "See you later." He picked up his and Kate's suitcases and they walked out the front door. I locked it behind them and watched as they piled into Tanya's car. Tanya revved the engine and drove down the driveway and onto the dirt road that led up to our house.

The first few weeks passed. I spent most of my time by the window, but the others checked in on me frequently and made sure I was doing other things. Eventually the days began to slur and I had no idea how long I had been there by myself, and didn't care enough to find out. The only indicator that time was even passing was the increasing pain in my throat.

I watched nearly every movie lifetime and pay per view had to offer, I read, I thought about writing down my feelings, but instead I just sketched the flowers that were beginning to blossom in the wet soil and the new greenery on the trees. Feelings were hard, full of dark memories I was trying to suppress. I had stopped consciously thinking about the rape about a week after it happened. I tried to convince myself it was only sex, it was only as big as I made it, yet it still dominated my subconscious affecting everything I did. I knew it was why I refused to go into my bedroom and sometimes I wondered if I looked out the window to make sure he wasn't coming again, or if I only wanted Randall back to protect me. Compared to all that, flowers were easy.

I was finishing one of these drawings when I decided to put them in my most recent photo album. I started to search through the living room bookshelf to find it, but then I realized it was in my room. I had last looked at it when talking on the phone to the Cullens about a year ago. I wanted to compare a picture of Renesmee I had taken when I had last seen her to some that Bella had sent us a few days before.

I walked up the stairs and down the hall until I reached the door to my bedroom. It was shut. It wasn't so frightening like that. I slowly reached out and twisted the doorknob between my fingers. What was I so afraid of? What did I think was in there? Christopher popped up in my mind, my imagination running wild with images of him jumping out from behind the bed and raping me again. I shook my head and knew this was silly, the sort of thing that only happened in horror movies. I had been here for a long time and I knew I was alone.

The door easily opened under my touch, and everything was as it had been left, to an extent. There were no sheets on the bed, many of my things had been taken, either for me to use outside of my room, or to be taken to South America to make it easier should I decide to join them, but for the most part it was the same. The desk Randall and I shared pushed over to one wall, the bookcase, still full of books adjacent to it, the bed in the middle of the room the most dominant feature. Randall's things were all still in place and I dared not move them although I resolved to take a shirt of his once I was finished, hoping that his scent would soothe my mind.

I went over to the bookshelf and pulled out the latest photo album. Right next to it was my first one. It seemed that Garrett or Eleazar had haphazardly put it there. Out of curiosity and boredom I pulled out the first one and opened it. The image of Linda and I as children greeted me again, but the first thing to run through my mind was the taste of her blood, lilacs, lilac red liquid, running down my throat, soothing the ache.

I slammed the book shut and put it back. I had never gotten such a response from just a picture. I sat down on the bed to recompose myself, burying my head in my hands. Soon, just as involuntarily, I was remembering other things.

_Flashback:_

The snow was cold and wet, but I didn't want to get up. I felt as cold and dead as the ground I was sitting on as I sobbed. Then he came. He came and he held me, and he kissed me and I felt better, until he left again.

_Flashback:_

"Hey you," I smiled as Randall dropped his briefcase by the door.

He seemed to ignore me and continued down the hallway.

I was not in the mood to be ignored. My second hunger was strong. It had been so long since we had last made love. "Randall!" I called.

"Not now, Clara," he said roughly.

His shoulders felt tense as I came over to rub them. He pulled away. I tried again. "Why don't you come with me and un-stress?"

"No," he repeated, pulling away once again.

I sighed. "Fine, you're never intimate with me anymore! Sometimes it feels like you don't love me." Sixth months since we had signed the treaty, four months since we had last ransacked our bedroom. Even the others were beginning to notice.

He sat down on the couch. "Of course I love you...I'm just not in the mood right now."

I sat down next to him hoping he'd notice that it didn't have to be sex. I just wanted his arms around me, or a peck on the cheek. "Just like you weren't in the mood yesterday, and the day before that, and last week, and two weeks ago?" I questioned.

Randall shrugged. "You can't push intimacy."

I took a deep breath. I figured this had been bothering him, but I hadn't had the courage to say it until now. "It's because of the baby, isn't it?"

He softened a bit. "Of course it isn't. What would make you think such silly things?"

"Well, usually I don't have to beg for sex or cuddling."

"It's not my fault you throw yourself at me everyday like a whore."

Oh, now I was a whore? I was a whore for wanting sex more than every four months? "I wouldn't throw myself at you every day if you'd give me some every once in a while!" I huffed, crossing my arms against my chest and sitting down next to him.

"Well excuse me for wanting a little time to myself. Sometimes it feels like you're smothering me, it gets so unbearable."

"I knew this would happen!" I said. I knew he would get tired of me sooner or later. No one wants an eternally pregnant wife, and even if I only had a year or so to go, he had to be just as hungry as I was. We used to always agree on the timing. For a moment I wondered if he would cheat on me. I felt my lower lip begin to quiver and I started to cry. I was so frustrated and angry with him, and yet I just wanted him to love me like he used to.

Strangely, it seemed to work, he wrapped his arms around me. "Don't cry, Clara...it hasn't happened...nothing has happened," he said soothingly.

"Exactly, nothing happens!" I argued. "You don't understand. I stay home all day and do nothing, then you come home, and nothing happens. You don't even touch me anymore!"

He looked at me and ran his fingers down my cheek. "I'm touching you now."

"Yes, but look at what I had to go through to get it. You never touch me or kiss me or even talk to me just because anymore and I miss that."

"But I'm here...isn't that all that matters?" he asked.

"No! That's ridiculous! There are also lamps and chairs here and they don't talk to me either, but I don't love them."

"We don't have to be intimate to prove our love," he replied, he was missing the point. Or was he just reiterating his point?

"So you're saying you don't want to be intimate with me? I know it's because of the baby and you're just too pigheaded to admit it."

"It is not about the damn baby," Randall grumbled.

I looked at him pleadingly; I didn't care if I had to wait a year for sex just as long as I knew why I was waiting. I hated how he almost seemed to be avoiding me. "I don't care if it is, but you can at least say hi to me sometimes."

Suddenly he smiled. "Hi," he chuckled.

I hit his chest. "God, Randall, no! That's not what I meant! I just want you to show some sort of attraction to me! I love you and it feels like I'm losing you and the entire point of pushing back the due date was so I wouldn't!" I exclaimed.

"You are not losing me! You wouldn't have lost me!" Randall insisted.

I could barely think straight. "I am! I would have! They would have killed you! I was so scared! Why can't you understand that?"

He took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye. I was almost afraid of his answer. "Because I can protect myself, Clara. I don't need you risking yourself for something I did."

"It was my fault too! I made you transition too quickly, I wasn't paying attention! Putting the due date back a few months isn't a big deal, but I can't lose you, Randall! I can't!"

We sat silently until both of our stares turned to glaring. "You wouldn't have lost me, Clara," he finally said. More silence passed. He sighed. "You know what, I'm going to go hunt. I'll talk to you when things cool down," he said, getting up and walking out the back door.

_Flashback:_

Furry paws trailed down my body as I struggled, tearing my flesh. I tried to sit up and bite him, but he was too far up and his paws kept me down. I felt so helpless as I tried to let out a scream, but he slammed my jaw shut and shoved my head into the pillows with fur and leathery pads of skin.

Where were the others?

His musky, woodsy scent overwhelmed me and his heavy breathing was the only sound. While one paw was on my face, muffling my shouts, the other found its way down my hips and to my privates. Even there he pushed his claws into the tissue, softer than my other body parts, and pierced it easily.

"Help me!" I screamed through the paw. Where was my husband?

I didn't know what to do; all I could think of was the pain of what he was doing to my outsides, and the horror of what he was doing inside of me. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. There was no escape.

_End Flashbacks_

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**Alright, so there's this week's chapter, I'd like to thank Megan for helping with the flashbacks and my readers for reading and all you lovely people who click on that little green button below. Thank you!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hello again! So on to the next chapter of the story, no? Guess I'm obliged to tell you that I am not the owner of Twilight of Clara, only a humble borrower. Okay, that was fun, now on to the reading. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 40.

I jolted back to reality and found myself shaking. I jumped off the bed, terrified to sit on it any longer unless more memories were to come to me. I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face, I wasn't sure why, but the water felt good. I looked up at the mirror and noticed my pitch black eyes. My throat had a burn to match, and I decided to go see how long it had been since I last hunted.

I stepped over to the calendar. No use, I remembered I hadn't changed the month since the others had left in March. Just by glancing out the window it was obvious the chilly winds of march had been replaced by warm breezes and

The computer's soft roar was almost unfamiliar as it started up. In such a quiet empty house the noisy machine seemed out of place. Finally it settled down as it came to the homepage and I moved the cursor over to the time box. It read May 1, 2008. I did some quick math in my head, trying to remember when the others had left, and I realized I hadn't eaten in two months. That would explain my uncontrollable flashbacks. Those had been the precursors to the hallucinations when I had been starving in the woods all those years ago.

Suddenly the phone rang. My hunting would have to wait. I wasn't sure how long it had been since someone had last called me, but it had been a while. I missed contact with civilization. Staying here by myself wasn't good for me. I was hungry, but I craved social contact more. I picked the pone up off the receiver and cautiously answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey doll face," I heard a familiar voice chuckle.

"Randall?" I asked, hardly able to believe it. Suddenly the world, which had just seemed upside down, was now only sideways. Just like that a small pinch of joy erased a portion of my sorrow.

"Who else?" I could almost see the smirk on his face.

"I'm so glad you called! I was worrying..."

He interrupted me. "Stop worrying, I'm fine, I'm immortal for goodness sake!"

"I miss you," I finished quietly.

He sighed. "I miss you too. I'm sorry it took me so long to call. I've been following his scent and they haven't been anywhere near civilization. Turns out he dropped the wife and kid with a friend and is going on his own. I was beginning to wonder how they were surviving out there."

"So you haven't got him yet?" I asked.

"No, but I promise I will take him down."

There was a short silence.

"Mmmmm," Randall sighed into the phone. "I wish I had you in my arms."

I imagined it as well. His strong arms wrapped firmly around me, his lips grazed my forehead as he kissed me. In my mind I ran my hand down his neck and it rested on his chest. He pulled me closer. "Then come home, you don't have to do this," I replied. The urge to have him was so strong it pulled at my muscles. I felt like running to him. If only I knew where he was.

"Yes, I do," he mumbled. "I will never forgive myself for letting him to that to you, but I can at least give you the peace of mind of knowing that bastard is dead."

"I want you to come home," I repeated. I doubted Christopher would come back to try anything again. He had no morals, but he wasn't stupid. He knew if he came anywhere near anyone in our coven again he was dead meat. Besides, I'd prefer Randall protect me by never leaving my side rather than have him be so far away.

"I wish I could."

"Then let me come with you." I was more than miserable in this house all by myself. I lost track of time and I lost myself. I couldn't be alone, I wasn't supposed to live a solitary existence.

"Even if I thought it was a good idea, I can't stop long enough for you to meet me, I'm on the other side of the continent."

"But..." I started.

Randall huffed. "Look, I'm sorry, Clara, but I have to do this and you can't come with me."

"How long is this going to take, Randall?" I couldn't just stay here forever, waiting for him. I just wouldn't do it.

"I don't know."

"Well, you don't plan on just leaving me here forever do you?"

"Of course not, but I can't give you a time and date. I'd doing this for you."

"I don't want you to!" I nearly shouted. "I want you to come back! I'm so lonely here without you!"

"There are five other people in that house, there is no way you can be lonely!"

I paused. I remembered he had had no contact with us for months, he didn't know they had left me here to wait for him. He probably thought I was just whining. "Randall, wait, I don't think you understand..." I started.

"Hold on Clara, I think I see him. Yeah, it looks like he's right there, that's his getaway car. Clara, I've got to go. I love you."

"I love you too, but Randall..." I started.

"No Clara, I'm doing this and I don't want you to come. I don't want you..." he trailed, I waited for the rest of the sentence. "I've got to go," he said, all in a rush before I heard the click of the phone and the silence of a dead end.

I shook my head in confusion. Did he not want me or did he not finish his sentence? The way he paused between his last two statements made me think there was more than just forgetfulness to his words. Part of me wondered if the phone call had been real, or just another hallucination.

I had to go hunting. The burn in my throat was just intolerable, and now I was becoming semi-delusional. I hadn't wanted to leave the house before, just in case someone called or Randall returned, but I had to now. I was too hungry. As I opened the door a sea of scents hit me. The fresh greenery, the rain, collecting in puddles after the down pour of the day before, the earth, the birds perched in the trees at the border between our yard and the forest, some smaller animals scurrying along the ground. Everything hit me at once and the pain, which had been surprisingly low for the amount of time I had waited, flared up like the fire it had been. There had been nothing in the house to eat and my senses knew it, but now everything was so near and my predatory instinct took over.

The woods seemed to call to me as I flew towards them, the scent of a large buck attracted me at first, but as I approached the Lampkins' former property, I heard a soft "damn it," in the distance and a different smell overwhelmed me. Suddenly the buck wasn't so appealing anymore. Leaves were nothing next to daisies and sunflowers, and the scent of human blood seared me like no other. I knew it was a bad idea as I approached him, and yet, it didn't matter.

He was in his mid-forties; balding under his hat, with laugh lines around his dark brown eyes, but what drew my attention was the four inch gash on his left arm. Fresh blood pooled around the edges, and he wiped it away with his hand. He didn't notice me until I was about twenty feet away. He turned around and looked at me with confusion. "Are you lost Miss?" he asked.

A voice that was and wasn't mine at the same time spoke, "Not at all."

He didn't have time to scream as I closed the space between us and clamped down on his arm. As I lapped up the blood on his arm, the droplets tickling the back of my throat with relief and the tip of my tongue with desire, I twisted his head with one arm until the bone cracked. The head faced backwards and the skull was in pieces under my fingers. After his arm was drained I moved up to his neck, a much better place to clean a body of blood. Here the liquid gushed from his neck into my waiting lips. A powerful satisfaction overtook me. I had forgotten how good full relief felt.

There was no mild twinge in my throat as I finished, I couldn't even feel it anymore, and it was like being a human again. That was, until I realized what I had done.

I pushed the body away in horror and it flopped stomach down in the dirt. It was a mistake, I had twisted the head and the dead eyes now looked straight at me. Getting up off my knees I wasn't sure what to do. Tanya and I had returned Jade, but this was the farmer's field, surely someone would find him here. I couldn't touch him again.

Even at vampire speed the house seemed so far away as I ran to it. I slammed the door shut behind me and the mirror that hung over the couch finalized my disgrace. The ruby red eyes had returned, a reminder of my crime, and they wouldn't go away for months, maybe even years.

I turned away from the mirror and leaned against the wall. What had I done? I searched my mind for information that might indicate minimal damage, but I didn't know. I hadn't left the house and they hadn't come as the new neighbors. I didn't recall hearing the playful shouts of young children, but that didn't mean he didn't have any. The Lampkins' former house was a family sized house, so surely he had some family. At the very least he had a wife, possibly trying to conceive, now never to have a child with her husband because of me.

Maybe Christopher was right. Maybe vampires were just no good wastes of flesh, meant for nothing more than destruction. Maybe I deserved what I had gotten when he raped me, maybe I had deserved more.

Randall's words echoed in my head. "I don't want you..."

Too many emotions swirled through me at once, it was disorienting. Everything I had seemed to be gone. My husband left me and it seemed like he was just looking for excuses not to come back, and in waiting for him I had abandoned the rest of my family. Sure, they would welcome me with open arms should I decide to go to them, but somehow even that seemed empty and meaningless. I had lost my dignity, I couldn't even protect myself; I couldn't even restrain myself anymore.

I leaned against the wall and cried again. My hand fell against my stomach and my heart twisted again. My dead baby. For the first time in a long time I wanted to go home. Not here, but my real home, my original home, my human home. Home where my baby would be due within the month and my husband loved me, home where my family and friends were just a short walk away, home where I slept and ate, and where dreams were more than just simple torture. Home where hunger didn't cause immense pain and satisfaction didn't cost just as much agony.

I hated this. I hated it. My fist broke through the wall again and again as I pounded it. Finally I sunk to the floor in utter hopelessness. What was I going to do now? I couldn't do this anymore. Move to a town; have at most, four months in civilization, then hide myself away for years until we moved to a new town, nor could I be constantly moving, a loner in a world dependent upon social contact. I couldn't do it. Besides, there was no way the baby was coming out now. Even if the Washington Shape Shifters said they would do it, how I could I trust them not to do to me what Christopher had?

There was nothing left for me here. I never thought I would actually consider doing this, but I was. I got up, walked over to the computer, and booked a flight to Italy. I was going to the Volturi.

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**Heh heh, I think I shall leave you in suspense like that for another week. Anyway, I would like to continue to thank everyone who makes this story possible, from the betas to the reviewers! THANK YOU! See you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hello again readers! In concurrence with my lack of trying to, I do not own Twilight and I do not own Clara. Enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 41.

The plane ride to Italy was nerve wracking. First, so many humans in such a contained space was not exactly a dream trip, despite the fact that I had just eaten the day before; I was worried I would lose control again. Secondly, I had the feeling that I was going to be caught. Some nagging feeling told me that Tanya or Nate or Carmen or Eleazar was going to pop out of the corner and drag me back to the house. I had left a note for them once they realized I wasn't there and came looking, but I could tell them, not even over the phone. I wanted to leave the world quietly.

On the plane I closed my eyes, so no one would see them even behind my sunglasses, and thought about what was to come. After being immortal for so long, even though I was only eighty-five and it was possible that had I stayed a human I would still be alive, my own death was no longer something I thought about, but it was fast approaching now. I wondered what kind of afterlife there was for us, if any. Edward and Carlisle had this debate often, but I myself had not thought about it too much, knowing there was little chance of my getting there. Some fleeting possibilities went through my mind. Heaven or hell, reincarnation, a black abyss of nothing as my smoldering ashes decomposed to nothing but dust. The last one was the most terrifying.

"Attention passengers, we have now landed in Rome..." the flight attendant began.

I opened my eyes and sighed. Time was ticking.

The man in the seat next to me smiled and took my carry-on down from the storage unit above us. "Did you have a nice nap?" he asked in Italian, a smile on his face.

"I did, thank you," I said softly.

"Are you returning to your family?" he asked.

I thought a moment. "Yes." In a way I was. I sincerely hoped to see my family in the after life. Hopefully they had forgiven me.

"I am as well; my wife and I are trying to start a family."

I remembered the man I had just killed, how I had imagined that for him. People began to get off the plane. "I hope everything works out for you."

"Thank you, and for you as well," he said, taking down his own luggage and walking off the plane.

The sun was shining brightly as I go off the plane. I pulled my scarf tighter around my neck and titled my hat. I felt like an Eskimo on the warm spring day, wrapped up in my garb. I wore a short sleeved shirt, but only with a light sweater on top, long pants, gloves, a scarf, large sunglasses, and a hat. It was very warm and sometimes uncomfortable, but it was necessary. The large windows of the terminal didn't allow me to take any of it off, but that was fine. I wouldn't be long in there anyway.

It was a pretty day. The sun was shining brightly in a cloudless blue sky. Green grass sprung up and swayed in the gentle breeze where it was allowed, mostly on the country side. It was a good day to be my last. The drive up was peaceful; I pushed my mission from my mind and focused on the Italian countryside. Out of all the countries I had visited I had never been to Italy. It was gorgeous. A strange longing over took me though. I thought about what the others would be saying if they were here. Carmen would comment on the flower fields (and possibly on how they did not match), Eleazar would say something about the history of wherever we were at and Garrett would be full of questions. Tanya and Nate would hold hands and smile, kissing occasionally, the scenery would probably take a back seat to them. Kate would just stare out the window, a slight smile on her face. I began to wonder what Randall would be doing, but had to stop. There would be no sadness or regret today.

I had to park about a mile away from the walls of the city, but for me that was fine. I made my way to the front gate and noticed that the rustic city was draped in red. Confetti and little trinkets lay on the ground everywhere.

"Welcome to Volterra, will you be staying for the day, Signora?" the woman at the front gate asked.

"I will," I answered, once again adjusting my hat as to shade my face as much as possible.

"Ah, you should have come yesterday. Yesterday was the big celebration," she smiled.

"I wanted to come when it was...quieter, more peaceful."

The toll person nodded. "It is a beautiful city."

I paid the entrance fee and she let me in. As I walked in I was stunned by the amount of tourists even after "the big celebration." Wasn't this a vampire town? I wasn't sure how vampires who _weren't _vegetarians lived amongst so many people. I made my way to the palace. It wasn't hard to spot. It stuck out against everything else, a pinnacle of an already magnificent city.

The castle itself was dimly lit of course, very few windows and where there were some they were small enough to allow me to avoid the sunlight, and I was able to remove some of my protective clothing.

"The next tour isn't for another forty-five minutes," the receptionist said without even looking up.

"I'm not here for a tour," I said quietly.

She immediately looked up. "Ah," she smiled. She fit the Volturi mold. Yes, her skin was dark and she was obviously human, but she was an extraordinarily pretty human, and had a dark air about her. Her green eyes were sharp and and it seemed she knew more than the average human. It was almost as if she knew what I was "I don't recall any appointments today," she said, hitting a few keys on the keyboard. "But I'm sure I can fit you in. May I ask your name and who you'd like to see?"

"My name is Clara Finley and…"

The receptionist's eyes lit up. "I see. Aro is very interested in you, and now I see why. I'm sure he will see you immediately. Please, take a seat," she gestured to the many chairs and couches in the front entrance, likely for those waiting for "tours." I wondered how they accounted for none of the tourists ever coming back, but not for long. Not five minutes after the receptionist walked out she and Aro reentered the room.

"Thank you Gianna," he smiled sweetly, casually running his fingers down her neck and she smiled in return.

Then Aro turned his attention to me. He seemed strangely out of place between Gianna and me, as he was wearing his red robe, delicately embroidered with symbols I could only guess the meaning of, but within the ancient castle he seemed perfectly in place. "My dear Clara," he said, stepping forward and pecking my cheek, careful not to touch with his hands, out of a respect of privacy I supposed. He was confident that should he ask, I would reveal my memories to him, and I was sure before the day was over I would have to. "What has brought you here alone?" he raised his eyebrow at the last word.

"I'd like to talk about this elsewhere," I glanced at Gianna.

"Oh, it's alright to speak of our true selves in front of Gianna, she knows and will make a valuable addition to the guard some day, but if you prefer we can discuss this in the parlor. I think Marcus and Caius are there now."

"If you wouldn't mind," I took off my sunglasses and put them in my purse, "I'd like to discuss this in the parlor with the others."

Aro looked at my eyes curiously. "I see," he said and motioned for me to follow as I walked down the hall. Draperies depicting stereotypical vampires, knights and dragons and the like lined the halls, preventing our footsteps from echoing more than the little they did.

It felt as if we were going the wrong way, but then Renata appeared, glancing at Aro and me warily, and followed us down the hallway.

"Renata, if you insist on being present do bring yourself forward and stop following us like a lost puppy," Aro sighed, not even looking back at her.

Renata came forward and touched Aro's hand briefly.

Aro smiled. "I do not know that myself, but I have a feeling we will find out shortly," he said.

Suddenly we turned and entered what appeared to be the parlor. Just looking at it made my throat twinge. Everything was red; the design on the rug which covered the deep brown wood floor, blood red curtains were pulled back and the sun shone through and our skin sparkled as we entered. Gold accents and an intricate golden ceiling only intensified the redness and added a feeling of grandeur to the room. It truly felt like a palace.

"Look who has come to pay us a visit," Aro said as he walked into the room.

"Aro, for you to use traitors as playthings is fine, but must you make us interact with them?" Caius sighed, hardly glancing up from his paperwork.

"Do not let your current grudges overlook what may lie before you, brother," Aro scolded.

Caius sighed and looked up. Marcus twisted a strand of his black hair between his fingers. Both looked bored.

"Now sweetling," Aro said. I tensed at the name, remembering the battle and Irina's death. "What have you come to tell us?"

I took a deep breath. "I…" I couldn't find words. A short pause accompanied by glares from Caius and Marcus prompted my memory. "I…I want…" I still couldn't bear to say it aloud. Instead I offered Aro my hand. I knew that this would reveal that we had been interacting with the Children of the Moon, that it would endanger not only the Lampkins but my own family, but somehow it felt as if there were no way to hide it. He would find out eventually.

Aro smiled and took my hand gently. A few seconds later he frowned. "Are you sure, young Clara? Your life as a vampire has truly just begun; you cannot want to give up so easily."

Caius tilted his head in interest, but Marcus remained apathetic.

"I do," I said softly.

"Well, I'm afraid that we can't do that," Aro said.

I hadn't expected that answer. I thought they would kill me happily. I had fallen out of their graces by siding with the Cullens in the dispute over Renesmee, they viewed me as a traitor. One would think they would enjoy my death and relish the opportunity to kill me themselves. If they wanted clean hands they could just as easily get the guard to do it as they had done so many times before. In fact I had been hoping that they would allow Alec to desensitize me before they killed me. "Why not?"

"I'm afraid you are too good an opportunity to pass up. You are so vital to our plans."

"What do I have that you could possibly want?" I asked.

Aro brought both his hands to my stomach. "Your child."

"My child is dead," I said dryly.

"I know you do not know that!" Aro exclaimed, his fingers pressed into my stomach. It was obvious he was trying to make a connection with the baby to try and prove his point, but it wasn't going to happen.

"You should have seen that I do!" I argued, trying to pry his hands off of me.

"That is where you are wrong my dear, you think, you do not know, you think your child is dead, but I saw in your mind, just as Christopher was cutting open your stomach. You had the faintest hope it might still be alive!"

I grimaced, it was true. "That was unrealistic of me."

Aro tilted his head and his hands slid off of my stomach. "Think about it. Wouldn't be a shame if that child was still alive after all these years and we killed it?"

He had read my thoughts right at that moment to pick the words that would pull my heartstrings and it worked exactly as he had wanted, but only for a moment. I remembered the idea of the immortal infant. The child had obviously not grown since my turn; even if it were born it would not grow any more. As much as hated to think it, taking its life might be an act of mercy.

"Aro, if you won't kill me peaceably then I will have to find another way," I replied.

Aro's brow furrowed, but soon he broke out into a smile of ease. "I don't think you will my dear," Aro said, an eerily sweet timbre to his voice. "You see, you have something we want, and we have something you want, those are generally the means for a trade."

"What do you have that I want?" I couldn't think of anything. Riches, gold, jewels, they were all worthless to me, especially now.

"We know about the Children of the Moon now. You so willingly gave us the information, and we could now easily go and exterminate them, not to mention that your family has broken the law," he paused for a moment, "once again."

"There are Children of the Moon still alive?" Caius asked, his eyes twinkled with malicious interest.

"Do you see what we mean, young Clara?" Aro said, gesturing to Caius.

I was silent but distressed. I couldn't imagine bringing harm to my family like that. I bit my lower lip. My decision felt extremely selfish now. In my lonely desperation I had been stupid enough to go to the Volturi and ask them a favor. I knew we were not in their favor, and that we had more secrets they didn't know about, but I hadn't thought about that when I made the decision to come. "What are your terms?"  

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**As always I'd like to thank my readers and betas. Thank you. That's all I suppose, see you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	42. Chapter 42

**Happy Valentines Day readers! Stephenie Meyer is most certainly not my valentine, so I did not recieve the rights to Twilight as a present, and I still have yet to recieve total rights to Clara (but I can pretty much do what I want with her as you can see). And no, I wasn't cool enough to have some romance related chapter on Valentines day. Well, enjoy!**

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Chapter 42.

I took a deep breath as I waited for the moment I had been dreading.

The deal had been made; both sides were going to get something they wanted, presumably at least.

Aro was going to arrange for Carlisle to make it his number one priority to get the Quileute wolves to take out my baby. For this the Cullens would receive an official pardon for Renesmee, and our coven would be pardoned for going behind their backs with the Children of The Moon. Nate and his mother and sister, would all receive clean slates as well.

There was one term, however, that made me debate internally for hours. Should my baby be born alive, she would be given over to the Volturi. Of course I was invited to accompany her as her mother, but she would be subject to any tests the others may want to give her. However, if she were born dead, then I would be free to do as I pleased with both myself and her and all pardons would remain.

This was the only reason the Volturi even considered striking a deal with me. I lost either way. Either my baby was dead, or she was essentially sold as a slave to the Volturi. They were pleased that Randall was doing their dirty work for them in going after Christopher, and they needed to regain their popularity. After the conflict with the Cullens many vampires who had not considered the Volturi any harm before now did. This deal was a metaphorical olive branch, an illusion of peace that really was not there.

So now I was waiting. Carlisle had been contacted and was heading to Volterra to agree to the terms, Eleazar had also been called and was coming to agree and to take me home with him. Caius had been upset that I had been left alone in the house, but Aro, mesmerized by his own cleverness at his deal, included this in the pardons as well.

Eleazar and Carmen arrived first. Carmen came over to me immediately.

I felt like a fool as she questioned me, asking if I was okay and what had made me come to this. All I could do was look down and mumble ambiguous responses such as "yes, I'm fine," and "I don't know." Part of me had assumed they would be incredibly angry with me for going to the Volturi and revealing all their secrets, but they it didn't seem like they, at least, not yet. Carmen enveloped me in a hug. Her arms wrapped tightly around me. It was warm, comforting, I had almost forgotten how good it felt. Eleazar stood back silently, but I caught the small smile on his face as I caught his glance.

"Are you coming home with us after this?" Carmen asked, pulling away from our embrace slightly to make eye contact.

"Yes, I'd like to very much," I said slowly, reminding myself of the first time I had accepted their offer years ago.

Now that I felt loved again I had trouble bringing back the mindset that had brought me here, even in retrospect, but then I remembered that Randall was not here, and even if he had heard about this he likely didn't care. The old feelings sprung to life. Not strongly enough to bring back my desire to end it all, but enough to darken my mindset. I stayed close to Carmen who hovered worriedly, waiting for me to break like I had before, or show some sign of depression, and I tried to forget again.

A nice distraction soon appeared. Carlisle came striding down the hallway, accompanied by several others. I recognized Jasper, Alice, and Esme of course, but there was another vampire with them. She seemed nervous, her red eyes darted everywhere. I wondered if Jasper was doing anything to calm her. Esme smiled at us, and then murmured something to the new vampire, who moved several strands of curly dark brown hair out of her face and locked her eyes on me.

I was used to stares, but I didn't want any now. I looked directly back at her and she quickly looked away.

"Carlisle," Eleazar said slowly.

"Eleazar," Carlisle acknowledged with a friendly nod.

Jasper kept his gaze averted although I was unsure why. It was okay, I didn't want him to see me like this anyway. He had changed his diet for me; I didn't want him to see me like this.

Alice waved to me and I waved back shyly. The new vampire looked at me again. When I looked back she kept her gaze a bit longer, but finally averted her eyes as footsteps came down the opposite hallway.

"Very good, we're all here," Aro said. "Please sit down," he said to the Cullens and the new vampire, gesturing to the long couch that faced the windows. Eleazar, Carmen, and I were on a similar one diagonal from it, and there were three chairs facing both couches, presumably for Aro, Caius, and Marcus. "It is nice to see you again brother," he said, gesturing his hand to Carlisle. He had examined Carmen and Eleazar's memories earlier.

Carlisle sighed and took his hand. Aro read the memories and nodded approvingly.

Caius and Marcus took their seats.

"I am pleased you have all gathered here today, as we have some very important business to pursue."

"Excuse me Aro, could we speak English in this meeting please, some of us don't speak Italian yet," Esme said, the new vampire looked at her gratefully. She appeared to be a newborn and if she was from the US it made sense for her to not speak Italian, she appeared to be no older than Esme, maybe twenty-five or twenty-six.

"Certainly," Aro smiled, looking directly at the newborn. "I don't think we've met before," he said, stepping closer. "I'm Aro," he said, extending his hand as if for a handshake.

"Ava," she said quietly, pulling back her hands.

"Won't you give me your hand?" he asked, reaching closer.

She pulled them further into her lap. "No, they told me about your power, I'd prefer not to have all of my memories splayed for you to see."

Aro sighed and stepped back, slightly dismayed. "Alright then, maybe later. Anyway, what we have come to discuss is an agreement. Young Clara here has expressed a desire to end this life. However, it appears she is the only one who feels this way, and we have come to an agreement. Carlisle, how quickly do you think you can convince the Quileute Shape Shifters to perform a c-section on Clara?"

Carlisle shook his head. "You know I've been working on that for years Aro, but relations with them are strained, one of the only things that keep them from attacking us is the fact that one of the alphas was close friends with Bella. Aside from that, we've added a new addition to our family," he gestured towards Ava the newborn and continued. "The wolves are not thrilled to have a newborn so close by."

"That wasn't the question Carlisle," Aro said, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair impatiently. "How quickly can you convince them?"

"I don't know; we have to wait until Ava is no longer a newborn and has proven she can stick to the diet, and then we have to rebuild the relationship with the wolves. Maybe one of the older ones would be sympathetic, but they hate our kind for their turn. Our best prospects are pretty young, they likely wouldn't agree to it, they aren't that mature yet. I'd say maybe between five and ten if we can get one from this generation, probably another thirty years if we have to wait for a new generation of wolves," Carlisle shrugged.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it? You should know that thirty years isn't that long at all, brother, thirty years is perfectly acceptable. You were planning to do this anyway, it isn't too much a cost for little Renesmee now is it?"

"Of course not," Esme said, her eyes narrowed a bit.

"Good, good," Aro smiled. "Eleazar, I assume you know your part of the bargain by now?"

"Keep Clara from doing anything to harm herself until the baby comes out," he replied. Easy bargain on their part. This was perhaps the most embarrassing thing I had experienced. I was ashamed of how easily I'd broken, and now it was out on display for all those I cared about to see...well, almost all of them.

"It seems this bargain is unfairly in your favor, but that is okay, we value this," Aro sauntered over to me and ran his fingertips down my stomach. I shivered. Once again the feeling that I had sold my child overwhelmed me. "Much more, and are happy to grant you pardons, is everyone agreed?"

Everyone nodded. It felt so final, the shame hung over me like a cloud.

"Good, now before we end the meeting, I think I shall try once more. Ava, won't you offer me your hand? I have quite the collection of memories, I'm sure yours are nothing to scoff at," Aro said gently, extending his hand to her once again.

She shook her head, the curls falling into her face once again, she pushed them back. "No," she repeated, "I have nothing to hide, but I like my privacy."

"Ah, so it is an issue of moral value, that is understandable young one, but one day you will see that very little is private in this world. Still, I am curious; the family of my dear friend Carlisle has always interested me. It is evident you are still a newborn, but may I ask how long ago you were transformed?"

Ava frowned, it was clear she did not want to discuss this. That was understandable, as a newborn I would not have wanted to discuss my human life with the Volturi either. "Five months ago, last December."

"I see, might I ask how this came to be? I received a glimpse from Carlisle's memories, but I would like to hear your take on it, even if it is just an oral account."

Her frown increased. She looked at Esme and bit her lower lip. Her eyes pleaded no. "I don't want to discuss it," she said softly.

"It's alright dear," Esme said, wrapping her arm around her.

"Take my memories of the event and stop interrogating her," Jasper said. He looked up with red eyes and I realized that Jasper was the one to turn her. He met my gaze and we shared a moment of recognition, almost relief. We had both been so concerned about disappointing the other that there was slight comfort in the other's failure, a camaraderie of sorts.

"Now that wouldn't be fair of me, now would it?" Aro said, stepping towards Jasper. "I've peaked the Denali clan's interest; everyone should hear the story now." Aro closed the distance between them, "but I will take the memories, thank you." He touched Jasper's hand the glided away. "Very interesting," he mused. "Do tell the others Jasper, I'm sure they want to know."

Jasper grabbed Alice's hand and looked over at Ava. "Only if it's okay with you."

Ava shook her head vigorously and I noticed Esme suppressing a grimace of pain as Ava squeezed her hand. Newborn strength was nothing to scoff at.

Aro sighed. "It's really quite a story, but I suppose your pain will dull with time and you'll eventually feel comfortable showing me what you know. Well, that is all we wanted to know. You're free to go. You will get on befriending the Quileutes, won't you, Carlisle?"

"I will," Carlisle said though the annoyance on his face was obvious.

"That's all we ask," Aro said. "Should you need us you need only write," Aro smiled. He motioned for the others to follow and they left quickly.

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**Haha, I know, slightly anti-climactic ending there, I thought I'd give you a break from the cliff hangers ;). Well, got to go, but thanks to my readers and my beta(s), etc. See you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**

**PS: Almost forgot to acknowledge it, yes, this is the same Ava from Solstice/Equinox (I told you they were the same universe!) it all has to do with my non-ownership of Clara. She'll probably show up a few more times because that is what the plot calls for, but the events of my other stories will not be covered in depth (Shell is its own story! I promise!). Thanks guys!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Hello, readers! So, it feels like it's been forever since I've posted, but it's only been a week like ususal. Anyway, still don't own Twilight, still don't own Clara, basically I just own my plot and those characters of my creation. Hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 43.

There was an eerie silence in the first few seconds after they left. Esme finally smiled a little and walked over to Carmen, they began to talk quietly. Carlisle followed and began to speak with Eleazar, and finally I had to get up and talk to Jasper.

Honestly I knew it would do no good for us to be together, both in our deep states of shame, but I figured he already felt it, and there would be no harm getting closer to him.

"Hey," I said, sitting down next to him.

"Are you insane? Coming to the Volturi to kill you, it's the stupidest thing I ever heard of," Jasper said crossly.

"I'm sorry," I said. Another thing I hadn't thought of. What _had_ I been thinking? The mindset that brought me here just seemed to be a blur of hopelessness now. "Can we not talk about it right now; I have to figure out what I was thinking."

Jasper looked straight into my eyes again, red on red. "Yes, that's fine; it was a stupid decision, right? You just weren't thinking were you?" It seemed he was asking this as much of himself as he was of me.

"Yes," I reassured him, "I just wasn't thinking."

At there was a silence that seemed to be made of lead. Neither of us could break it, and finally we had to part.

I was incredibly glad that I had sent most of my belongings ahead of me. I wouldn't go back to that house, at least, not soon. The room, the drawings, the window and the forest that lay beyond it, the note I had left, declaring my departure from this world, I couldn't go back to that now. I had to move forward before I could look back.

Luckily, our new home was nothing like our home before, that was obvious before we even reached it. There was green everywhere. Trees towered hundreds of feet along the dirt path that led to the house and vines wrapped themselves up and down them. The call of exotic birds and other creatures could be heard in the distance and their scents intermingled into a sweet cocktail. A fine mist glittered in the air and covered our skin; the warmth and humidity kept it there. It was all new to me. Usually vampires couldn't hide in a place that supported this much life, but the canopy served as our cover.

Instead of the dim grey that made our house fade into the sky, this house was bright yellow. It most reminded me of our house in Maine, but that was only due to the large, shaded front porch and the swing attached to the rafters. I imagined the slanted roofs created a waterfall effect that could be seen from the windows of the upper story before it poured into the gutter. From one of these windows I spotted the first sign of movement.

A flash of blonde darted out the front door, and another, this one strawberry-blonde, followed it. Soon enough they each crashed into me. I couldn't help but smile and laugh as I hugged them both, but at the same time, I hoped they didn't bring up my incident. I still didn't feel quite ready to talk to them about it. To prevent this I asked a question, which although I probably could have figured out myself, would keep the topic from going where I didn't want it to.

"Tanya? What are you doing here? I thought you and Nate were in Germany."

Tanya laughed. "Kate was right, they hadn't called you in a while, Nate and I finished Germany last month, we were in Poland when Carmen called."

"So why did you come here?" I asked. Shouldn't they be looking for Nate's family?

"To see you! We were so worried…"

I cut her off. "Not now Tanya." I took her arm and Kate's in mine. "Why don't you guys show me all the cleaning Carmen made you do."

Kate rolled her eyes. "It made total sense, it's not like you're going to live here or anything," she said sarcastically.

"I heard that!" Carmen shouted from behind us.

Tanya smirked and pulled Kate and I behind her, into the house. It was immaculate of course, decorated in bright colors and trinkets Carmen had likely gotten from local villages.

"Didn't I tell you not to do anything stupid?" a voice behind me asked. I put down the intricate wooden figure of a bird I was fingering and looked back to see Garrett.

"I just don't listen," I said, trying to joke it away with him.

He laughed, but his laugh was somewhat nervous. "Just don't do it again," he said. He came over and wrapped his arms around me. "Welcome home, it's good to see you," he said, kissing my cheek before moving over to entwine his hand in Kate's.

We continued through the kitchen and the dining room, up the stairs, through Carmen and Eleazar's room, Kate and Garrett's room, and Tanya and Nate's room where we found Nate studying over a map of Europe. He seemed exhausted.

"Didn't I tell you to go to bed?" Tanya asked sternly.

Nate looked up and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." He looked over at me. "It's good to see you again, Clara," he said briefly before looking back at his map. I felt a pang of sympathy for him. Poor kid, he didn't know where his mom and sister were, or if they were even alive. It was like my waiting for Randall, there was no way to know either way, and that was the most agonizing of all. I hoped he found them soon. Another memory from the house surfaced.

"It's good to see you too, Nate," I started to respond to his first statement, but that wasn't where my mind was. "The other day…" I paused, I hadn't realized it would be hard to say his name, but it wouldn't come; finally I managed to choke it out. "Randall called; he said your dad dropped off your mom and sister with a family friend if that helps any."

Nate's eyes lit up as he looked up from the map and Tanya looked at me hopefully. "Did he say where he dropped them off?" he asked.

I thought for a moment, recalling the conversation we had had. Randall had made sure not to say where he was so I wouldn't come after him. I sighed. "He said something about he was on the other side of the continent, but I don't know what that means. I'm sorry."

Nate bit his lip as his face twisted. "Damn bastard!" he shouted, pounding his fist on the table.

I guessed he was talking about Christopher, but something kept telling me he was talking about Randall, and to my horror, part of me agreed with him, stupid Randall on his damn mission, putting me through all this, putting everyone through all this. I loved him, I loved him with everything I had, but at that moment I couldn't help thinking that.

I bit my lip and tried to continue. "On the other hand, you and your family all have pardons from the Volturi."

Nate sighed before he looked back down at his map. "I'll only care when the fucking bastard pays for all the grief he's giving me."

"Nate," Tanya sighed; she walked into the room and closed the door behind her.

"Come on," Kate said, taking my hand and pulling me down the hall.

As we headed down the hall another thought popped into my head. I knew it was stupid, but Tanya and Nate had come to see me, maybe Randall had too. Maybe there was a surprise waiting in my room. He had wished he had me in his arms hadn't he?

I didn't have enough time to push this out of my mind before we got there.

"And this is your room," Kate said, a little smile on her face.

He wasn't in there, why had I been so silly to think he would be in there?

I took a deep breath and walked in. It was a gorgeous room, as anal as Carmen was about cleaning she was a good designer and enjoyed it thoroughly, but I couldn't even pay attention to that. I walked in and ran my hand over the bedspread. "This is great, thank you."

"Is there anything else you need?" Kate asked.

"No, thank you," I said softly.

"We were worried," Kate said, out of the blue.

"You shouldn't have been," I replied. Immediately I regretted it. I remembered having my concern shoved to the side like it was just silly. "No, wait, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have made you worry, I shouldn't have gone."

"Damn right you shouldn't have gone. What were you thinking?" Kate scowled.

I turned around and looked at her in confusion. This was a side of Kate I hadn't seen before.

"It was just a bunch of stuff," I muttered. I didn't want to revisit this.

"What kind of a bunch of stuff? What kind of a bunch of stuff couldn't you come to us about?" Kate asked, her normal demeanor returning for the last question.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "I don't know, I waited too long to eat and I got these horrible visions, and then I went to eat and I ended up killing a man," I looked her straight in the eye. "And…and…"

"And what?" Kate asked sharply. What was making her do this? I didn't understand.

"And Randall said he didn't want me anymore. I think he's leaving me." I felt my legs fall under me and I landed on the bed. I started to cry again. Stupid crying. It was so useless. It wasn't going to do anything, but I couldn't help it.

Kate sat down beside me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "He's stupid. He's stupid for leaving you, Clara, and if I ever see him again I'm going to give that son of a bitch a piece of my mind."

"Don't say that!" I moaned, breaking into another round of sobs. "I still love him!"

Kate sighed. "I hate to say this, but stop. If he doesn't like you enough to hang around then stop letting him hurt you like this."

I would have done what she said, I would have stopped, but I couldn't. There was that one little piece of me that believed he hadn't left. That he was going to come running back to me once he killed Christopher, and that on the phone he had just forgotten to finish his sentence and he was just weary from his chase and really thought he was doing the right thing by leaving me behind.

"Tanya and I are always here for you," she whispered. Her words were soft and her touch was tender; she seemed to have returned to the Kate I knew. "Just please don't do that again. We were so scared we were going to lose another sister." Her lower lip quivered.

"No, I won't do it again," I shook my head. "I love you."

"I love you too, we all do," Kate said, squeezing me tightly then letting me go. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

I nodded. "I think so."

Suddenly there were sounds coming from the room next door. Sounds I hadn't heard in a long time.

"Sorry, we put a room between Carmen's and Eleazar's room and Garrett's and mine so we wouldn't have to hear each other. We kind of forgot it was going to be your room," Kate chuckled.

Perfect, I get the room between the two couples who live here all the time. "Thanks Kate," I grumbled.

"It wasn't my idea!" she laughed.

I glared at her.

"KATE!!!" Garrett shouted from downstairs. "Are we going to watch this movie you pay-per-viewed or not!"

"I'll be down in a second!" Kate chuckled. "Has anyone ever told you, you look really creepy with red eyes?"

"Shut up," I grumbled, suppressing a smile and closing my eyes. "There, now you don't have to look at them."

"That's much better," Kate said. I heard her get up off the bed and walk away.

"Wait!" I called after her, opening my eyes, "I wanted to watch the movie!"

Kate cocked her head and looked at me. "You really have been gone a while, do you really think we're going to watch a movie?"

"I guess not," I chuckled. "Where can I hide?"

"Eh, come on, we'll probably watch the first fifteen minutes of the movie, then you can finish it, Tanya will probably join you once she puts Nate to bed," she winked.

Now I knew how Tanya felt when we first moved to Normen. It was lonely being the odd girl out. I missed Randall with a pang of sorrow, but shoved it away. At least I was at home. I was home and they loved me and it was going to be okay.

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**Okay, so that's it for this week, hope you liked it, thank you guys and my beta(s)! **

**Because I'm trying to avoid my homework right now, I'm going to play a game with you. By the next chapter the Cullens have done some betting, and I want to see how you all would bet, so is Randall coming back, or not? If so when, and how much would you bet? For example, Mary would bet $100,000,000 that Randall is never ever coming back, but Peter would bet $50,000 that he will come back within a week after he kills Christopher. Since this is imaginary betting you have as much money as you want. Winners split the imaginary pot. :)**

**Anyway, see you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hey again readers! Alright guys, betting is still open and we have $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001,000,000,000,300,000.438 and Seth in the pot (mostly due to my cousin's like of pressing the 0 button on her keyboard and not understanding that you cannot have $1.438). Goodness, dividing this is going to be difficult, haha. Anyway, not even with all the money in the pot could I purchase Twilight, and I don't really want to use your betting money to buy Clara. Anyway, do enjoy.**

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Chapter 44.

A month passed and things started to begun to settle. Tanya and Nate resumed their search and half the night time noise ceased.

Being in the middle of nowhere, I could go where I pleased without fear of being seen. After my time alone I cherished every moment with the others, which was good because someone was with me almost constantly. Sometimes the old feelings came back. If I let it come to my mind, I felt so naked without Randall by my side, and the loneliness, and sometimes anger and frustration returned, but to my surprise it didn't come any less frequently with the passing of time. I thought of him about once a day and the ache lasted a few hours before I was able to forget.

The others seemed to notice this and tried to get me out of my ruts. My least favorite was when Carmen would set me to some task, but I appreciated the gesture, and knew she only meant well. Garrett, being Garrett, would either spout an obscure fact or make some joke about the nearest person to make me chuckle. Kate smiled and tried to distract me with conversation. Eleazar smiled too, but he was quiet, and that was just as nice.

One day I heard Carmen get off the phone. It was one of those moments when I was missing him.

"Jasper's coming," she said, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

I felt my lips turn upwards in return. "When?" I asked, my loneliness turning into anticipation.

"They just left Forks," Carmen said, placing the phone carefully in its cradle. Heaven forbid something be out of place when any of the Cullens come.

The four hours waiting for Jasper were the longest four hours I had had in a long time. Partially because I was so excited to see him. We hadn't talked since we were in Volterra and I was looking forward to seeing him again. My eyes had turned to brown again and Jasper's surely had as well. Maybe things would be normal between us again. The other part was Carmen's intense cleaning regimen, but that was only to be expected.

I was practically waiting by the door when the bell rang. "Jasper!" I exclaimed, grinning ear to ear as I opened the door and hugged him.

"It's good to see you too Clara," he chuckled, returning my embrace.

Looking over his shoulder I met another set of eyes, these eyes were the same red they were the last time I had seen them.

"Oh, hello Ava," I said. I had almost forgotten she was coming too. At first Carmen had failed to mention her, simply trying to get me out of my mood, but later, while we were cleaning, she went on several very long rants about how Esme had probably instructed her on how to inspect and would have her report back. Their paranoid competition was amusing at times.

"Hello," she said softly. She was playing nervously with the ring on her left hand, her wedding ring I assumed. I wore mine for my first several years as a newborn as well. It was obvious she was uncomfortable. Her eyes never left my stomach though, it was a bit disconcerting.

"Thank God!" Garrett exclaimed, breaking the small bit of tension in the air. "Maybe now we can stop all this damn cleaning." He threw down his dust rag, something that would have sent Carmen into an apocalyptic rage had she seen it, and came to the door.

"Good to see you, Jasper, and nice to meet you Ava, I'm Garrett," he extended his hand.

Ava took a break from her wedding ring to shake it quickly.

"Please, come in," I said, gesturing for them to enter.

Soon enough the rest of the family had congregated in the living room to greet our guests.

"Very nice decorating, Carmen," Jasper said, "I'll have to give Esme a good report." He smirked and winked at me as Carmen tensed.

"So, you were certainly mysterious enough on the phone, what brings you two here so suddenly, especially without the others?" Eleazar asked.

Jasper chuckled. "It's quite strange actually. What are the odds two vampires would have their blood singers in the same town, within the same generation?"

It was evident as I looked around the room no one knew how to interpret this. I would say it was Jasper who found his blood singer, but he couldn't differentiate between the blood of different humans from gorging in his early years. Still, it was equally impossible to believe a newborn of six months had found her blood singer and the human had survived, even with the interference of other vampires.

"Who are you talking about, Jasper?" Kate finally asked.

"Ava of course," Jasper said.

"But if she found her blood singer, what is she doing down here?"

"I'm asking that myself," Ava muttered.

Jasper ignored her. "Well, we figured it would be easier for her to escape the house than South America."

Eleazar tilted his head. "I don't understand, was she able to resist somehow, or were enough of you there to stop her?"

"You're forgetting about the Quileute wolves, Eleazar," Jasper said. "They're not very happy with us right now," he looked at me apologetically.

That was great, just when we come up with a resolve to work harder on getting my baby out this happens. I sighed.

"I'm sorry about that," Ava said.

"I guess there was nothing you could do," I replied. So many older vampires couldn't resist, there was no way I could expect a newborn to keep her thirst inconspicuous.

There was a moment of silence before Carmen spoke again. "Well, why don't I show you around?" she said, getting up. "I'm sure Esme will want a full report."

"Yes m'am," Jasper chuckled.

At this we dispersed. Carmen was intent on showing Jasper and Ava around, no doubt to show off to Esme, Eleazar went back to her study, and Kate and Garrett went hunting.

When we got to my room, Jasper pulled me aside. "I know you feel like she's staring at you..." he started.

It did bother me a little bit. Firstly it reminded me of Irina and her uncomfortable staring, but it was more the way she stared than that she was staring. She seemed confused and saddened, as if she were imagining something horrible.

"She didn't believe Carlisle when he told her it could be worse."

"He used me as an example of how it could be worse?" I gawked. Sure, I'd have rather not been turned immortal while eight months pregnant, but I didn't think my life as a vampire had been that horrible, and even when I did it was only for a short while.

"We all did Clara, you don't understand yet, she was this close to ending up like you," he said measuring out about three centimeters with his fingers. He chuckled. "That would have been bad, from what Edward says she was even more expectant looking than you."

I tilted my head. "How?" Unless Jasper had gone and raided the maternity ward in a hospital she couldn't have had a child so recently that she was "this close" to becoming like me. Also, at eight months I looked like I was going to pop within the next four weeks.

Jasper looked at me sadly and sighed. "I really hate myself for doing this," he said, wringing his hands together.

"Just tell me what happened," I said softly.

"Well, Alice and I were coming back from a mini-vacation, and we happened to walk by the ambulance drop off at a hospital. I smelled blood. I'm not sure who's blood it was, but I was hungry and I followed the scent. Alice tried to stop me, but it did no good, I went into the hospital anyway. Once I got into the waiting room, the blood had gone, I could think straight again, so I wandered around, looking for Alice because I knew she had followed me. I went to the parts where I thought I would encounter the least blood."

Jasper hung his head now. "I was so stupid, walking right into the maternity ward. Then I smelled it again, the blood. It was fresh, the room was empty. She had bled out internally, she was basically a blood bag, they thought she was dead. I..I thought it wouldn't hurt anyone if I just had a little, quenched my thirst and left, but, I guess she wasn't as dead as they thought."

"She was going to die," I halfheartedly tried to reason, I knew I was only trying to make him feel better. "You saved her."

He shook his head. "She would have rather died than this. I can feel it in her every day. She has two children, she misses her family, she didn't even get to see her baby. Were you like that in your early years, Clara? Would you have rather died? She used to cry every night, I didn't know what to do."

"Yes, Jasper, it was hard at first, it was so hard at first. I killed my sister rather than put her through this, and I still stand by that decision, but it gets better. She'll still miss them, but she'll recover." I grabbed his hand, but let go quickly. No, that didn't feel right. I missed Randall.

"I felt that," Jasper chuckled. "You should listen to yourself. It'll get better. Personally I put a hundred grand on him coming back for you," he winked.

"YOU MADE BETS ON WHETHER HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK?" I shrieked. Surely the only one to approve of that would be Emmett.

Jasper laughed.

"I hate you Jasper," I muttered, trying keep away the small grin creeping on my face.

"No you don't, you can't fool me," he smirked, shoving me playfully.

"Jasper!" Ava called, poking her head into the room.

"Yes?" he asked, his face turning serious.

"Nothing, I was just looking for you."

Jasper's smirk returned. "You're addicted to my calming influence."

"I'm held captive and experience your insane influence which is only drug-like in its disillusionment," she retorted, a brief glare in her dark red eyes. After experiencing a blood singer she had to be hungry. Edward hunted two or three times a day for a while after he first caught scent of Bella, just from thinking about her blood. Jasper's eyes were looking dark too.

"Are you two hungry?" I asked.

Ava's eyes darkened quickly as the thought of blood entered her mind. "Very hungry," she said, her voice reaching a dangerous low tone that sent a chill down my spine.

"I could go for a snack," Jasper nodded. I almost wanted to laugh at the difference in their responses.

"Well, I'll be glad to take you hunting. The pumas are really good, it's like nothing in Forks I can tell you."

"I think that would be a good idea," Jasper said, glancing quickly at Ava and her hungry look.

We went downstairs and headed to the back door, but just as we reached it the phone rang.

"Can you get that, Clara?" Carmen called from the kitchen. Why she couldn't get it herself I didn't understand, but I didn't feel like arguing.

"One second guys, it's probably just a telemarketer," I sighed, making my way across the room. "Hello?"

"Clara? Oh, hey! I didn't realize it was you," I heard Tanya whisper across the line. She sounded distant, but that might be because she was in Europe.

"Oh, hi Tanya, what's new?"

"Well, we spotted Chris today," Tanya said softly.

That was news worth calling about. I could hear Nate muttering in the background. I wondered why Tanya was calling for a second. If they had spotted Christopher then surely Nate would be dying to go after him. It was almost paradoxical how Nate craved to kill his father, a man one would think he would love and respect.

"Really? Where are you guys?" I asked. Had they seen Randall? Maybe they had talked to him. Maybe I was wrong, he was just hurried.

"We're in Russia," Tanya answered, but somehow she knew what I meant to say. "I'm sorry, Clara, but still no sign of Randall."

I sighed, Jasper looked at me sympathetically. Of course they hadn't. I'd just have to wait and see. "Okay, I know you're keeping an eye out. So are you guys close to getting him?"

"Yes, but no sign of Nate's family either. I've been trying to ask him if he knew any of his dad's friends, but he says there are so many," she sighed. "Sometimes I don't think we'll ever find them.

I bet Tanya was reading a lot of Poe on this trip. It seemed to suit Nate too. No wonder they were soul-mates. "I'm sure you'll find them eventually," I said, trying to cheer her up. "It's not like they just fell off the face of the earth, and I'm sure that if they're able they're looking for Nate too. You'll find them."

"Well, I don't know. There is a slight chance that Chris is with the family." Tanya said.

"What makes you think that?" Randall said he had left them at least a month ago, what would make him come back?

"I don't think he knows we're following him right now, and I know he thinks he lost Randall. I was doing some spying last night and I spotted him at the store getting more than one person's worth of provisions. I might ask around town in the morning, see if they've seen anyone with that description. After all, Russian is my native tongue," I could almost see the satisfied hint of a grin on her face from having the advantage over Nate.

"Good luck with that." I looked over to the door where Jasper and Ava were waiting. Ava was beginning to look a bit antsy. "Jasper and Ava say hi."

"Hi Tanya!" Jasper called from across the room. He didn't have to be too loud to be heard.

"Who is Tanya?" Ava asked, once again glancing out the door.

"Hopefully we'll see you soon. Call back when there's more news, okay?" In my head I added, "especially about Randall," before I caught myself.

"Will do Clara. And tell Jasper and er...Ava hi as well. Oh! I have to go. A good carpenter doesn't waste wood," Tanya managed between giggles.

I sighed as the line went dead. Somehow, while living alone I had forgotten all about some of the drawbacks of living with couples, especially when I had no outlet myself.

Jasper opened the door as I put the phone back in its cradle. As we went hunting the questions from my conversation with Tanya ticked my mind. As I explained to them, or mainly to Ava, Jasper knew all of this, the fauna and the wildlife, I couldn't help but wondering if they would find him, if he was coming back, but finally I pushed it from my mind.

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**Alright, not much to say here, thanks for reading and pressing that green button under this message if is so pleases you. Thanks to my betas as well, I can't believe that we're almost at chapter 45! So strange, I think that I'm going to hit the 100,000 word mark this chapter too, so woooo! :D Well, see you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :) **


	45. Chapter 45

**Hello readers! I actually have 3 disclaimers for you today! 1. I don't own Twilight, 2. I don't own Clara, 3. Due to a busy schedule this week I wrote most of this at midnight last night, so pretty please excuse any outstanding spelling/grammar errors. Thanks! Enjoy!

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Chapter 45.

"He's dead."

My mind stopped. "Who's dead?"

"Christopher," Kate sighed.

"Thank goodness," Jasper said, looking up from the laptop on which he was chatting with Alice. New technology was not without its uses to us, and two weeks was long even for him.

Ava peeked over her magazine. "Who's Christopher?" she asked. Most of the Cullens knew, but Ava was in her vampire infancy when that had come about, she may have even still been sedated, and past that, she could be a bit slow to catch on to things for a vampire, she rarely paid attention to conversations she wasn't directly involved in. Personally I thought she was trying to keep herself as far away from our world as possible in hopes she would wake up some day.

"An asshole werewolf with a penis," Kate answered shortly. "Clara's husband went out to kill him because he said he was going to take her baby out and didn't." Of course Kate would leave out the worst part, but I was grateful for it. I didn't exactly want to hear how I was raped again.

"Oh," Ava said, by the look on her face it was clear she was imagining the a fight between a vampire and a werewolf, although by her experience they were probably fighting Quileutes.

"Who told you that Christopher was dead?" I asked. The phone had rung just a few minutes ago, but Kate had beaten me to it. A week after Tanya's last call and I was anxious for news.

"Tanya did," Kate said.

I sighed.

"Nate's mad that he didn't get to do it himself," Kate said quietly. Now that the announcement was made it was clear she was only talking to me. She leaned against the back of the couch I was stretched out on and shook her head.

"What is it, Kate?" I asked. Something was wrong. Was Nate's family dead as well? What about Randall? If Nate didn't kill Christopher, Randall surely did, but did he survive as well. Tanya had suggested the family might be with Christopher, but what if they weren't on our side? What if Sarah had joined Christopher in his fight?

She looked back at me sadly. "It's just, I can't believe he did that."

"Who? Did what?" I begged.

Kate sighed again and walked around to the other side of the couch. I made room for her and she sat down beside me. She looked at Jasper and he got up.

"Hey, um, do you hear Carmen calling us?" Jasper asked Ava.

"No, what are you talking about?"

"Don't you hear her? Come on," Jasper said more than asked.

"Oooh, okay," she got up and scurried after him

"Okay, Kate, you cleared the room, what is it?" I asked. What did she have to say that they couldn't hear? They were practically family. Even if Randall was dead I would still want Jasper to comfort me.

"It's just that Randall...we knew he was going to kill him, and really, we were okay with it, but...in front of his family? I'm sorry Clara, but that was cruel. Apparently they didn't even know what Christopher had done until it was over."

Another round of shock. "He did what?" I asked. I was surprised at my own tone. I meant to have much more emotion than I did. My mind was screaming, but my voice was oddly flat. I didn't understand. He killed someone in front of his family. Rapist or no the family doesn't deserve to suffer, especially the child, she had just turned ten for goodness sake!

"That's just what I heard from Tanya, and she heard that from Sarah...I mean, there's always the slightest chance it's not true...but I don't see why she would lie. I mean, Sarah agreed to come back with them on the condition that we would protect her and Lindsey," Kate said in a rush.

"Put him on the phone," I growled.

Kate looked at me, bewildered. "What?"

What was so hard about such a simple request? Put me on the phone with Randall so I can scream at him. "Call them back, put Randall on the damn phone, Kate! Am I not speaking plain English?" I snapped. Immediately I regretted it. Kate was obviously startled. I usually didn't use language like that.

"I can't do that," Kate said softly. "He's not with them. They didn't find him, just his aftermath."

What? He leaves me to kill a man in front of his family, then isn't there for me to question him? Sure, he had to feel guilty, I wouldn't want anything else, but he didn't need to run away, I would scream at him, I would be angry for at least a week, but I would still love him. What was wrong with him? Strangely, I wanted him here, right now. I wanted to kiss him and hit him at the same time. I bit my lower lip, I was overwhelmed. I couldn't decide between screaming and crying, and finally I could manage nothing but a whimper.

"I don't know what to tell you, Clara," Kate said softly.

Another question entered my mind. Was he coming? He had carried through, so was he coming for me now? Carmen, Garrett, and Eleazar all repeatedly told me they thought he was coming back, but Kate seemed to think he wasn't, she never really explained herself, she just shrugged and called it intuition and mumbled something about if he really cared he would have showed his face as soon as he heard what I has done. I couldn't decide. I had been so convinced that he wasn't coming before, but now I was so sure. I was tempted to believe Kate's argument, but maybe he hadn't heard yet; it wasn't like he went on social calls. At least I didn't think he did.

It was another hour before Carmen and Eleazar came back from hunting. When they heard what happened, or part of it at least, Eleazar nodded. '"Then I guess Sarah and Lindsey will need a place to stay. I don't think this is an...appropriate environment for a ten year old," the smirk appeared on his face quickly before fading again. "Garrett and I will start on a little cottage out back, I think that'll be good for them, no? Maybe you and Kate could go get the rest of their stuff," he said to Carmen.

After Nate had discovered his family missing he and Tanya had packed up most of their things and put them into storage in our attic. Nate was hoping that he would find them much sooner, and that they would be willing to come back to Normen and stay there.

"I think that would be a good idea, make it feel like home for them," Carmen agreed. "After all they've been through."

So three days later, there we were, driving up our old street in Normen. I had wanted to stay home and played host to Jasper and Ava, but they left very soon after we heard that Christopher was dead. Something about they were gong to try and make her immune to her blood singer's scent. Ha! Like _that_ was going to work. The poor girl was going to be dead within four seconds of walking into the room.

Normen was as I remembered it. Gloomy grey skies with dark foreboding woods as a back drop. Little houses would occasionally appear on the horizon, but there were no people. It was a small community, and on a day like this no one would be outside.

Then it came into view. The old house, the house I had loved and hated. The house I made love in and the house I wanted to commit suicide in. It was almost unreal.

The lock on the door easily clicked open and despite the rain I wasn't sure how much I wanted to go in. "Come on, it'll be okay," Kate said softly, grabbing my arm and pulling me in. Of course the house was just as I remembered it, some of my things were strewn about the living room. Not a real mess, but aside from the fine layer of dust on top of everything the house looked lived in.

As I looked around I realized what my first priority should be and I scurried to the kitchen table. It wasn't there. I looked around, maybe it had fallen to the floor in my rush, but it couldn't have gotten far. The floor was clean, the counter was clean, the refrigerator was bare. "Where is it?" I asked to the air.

Unfortunately Carmen heard me. "Where's what?" she asked.

"I...I wrote you all a note...before I left. I can't find it," I explained. "I didn't want you to see it."

"Oh, I haven't seen anything, but I'll tell you if I do," Carmen said, barely looking up from the boxes she was toting out the door. "Do you mind helping Kate with the beds?"

I shook my head and sighed. The note would show up eventually, maybe in my frenzy I put it somewhere else, but I could have sworn I put it on the kitchen table so it would be one of the first things they noticed as the went looking for me. Moving stuff from the attic wasn't difficult, and I was able to keep my eye out, but still the note seemed to elude me.

As we came down to the last few boxes I realized I'd have to go into my own room. Despite the negative memories now associated with them, I still wanted my photo albums. Some of them would make me sad, but I knew there were some I could use to cheer me up. Trips to the ocean with Jasper, Charlotte, and Peter, pictures of the Cullens and of my own coven, various pictures of the places I had been.

The door creaked open and although dark and gloomy, the room didn't seem as intimidating as it had before. I quickly walked over to the bookshelf and piled the albums and a few other items into a box. Stepping over to the closet to grab a dress I wanted to bring back with me I saw one of Randall's shirts hanging in the back. I remembered that shirt. He was wearing it the day we got our official marriage certificates in the mail. He promised me a ceremony as soon as I got my baby out. I also remembered it was the shirt I was going to take with me, to remind me of him, the day the horrible memories flooded my mind, the day he told me he didn't want me.

After a moment of deliberating I snatched it off the hanger and threw it in the box too. Nothing wrong with that, right? He was supposed to be coming back, everyone thought he was coming back.

I decided that since my other note was missing I better leave him a new note to tell him we were in South America. A piece of paper off a dusty notepad and a black pen that took three tries to worked as well as anything, and I scribbled down our new address and phone number, mentioning that my cell phone was the same should he want to call me. There was a part of my mind that was telling me no, of course he didn't want to call me, he didn't even want me around, but I didn't listen to it. It was better to hope and be wrong, knowing I did everything I could do, than to just give up.

Finally I came running out of the house, into the rain with my box. I put it in the back of the truck we rented, and after racing back to the door to lock it, I hopped into the front with Carmen and Kate. The easy part was over, I faced the house, now came the hard part. Driving away, knowing who I was supposed to meet.

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**So obviously the betting is closed, and now we shall see if/when Randall comes back and exactly how the COTM family sees all this. Again, thanking all my readers and reviewers and betas! Thanks!**

Hufflepuffbrunette :)


	46. Chapter 46

**Hello, readers! So...the betting is now closed, just so you know, the pot remains the same as last reported. I still don't own Clara and I still don't own Twilight or anything associated with it aside from one copy of Breaking Dawn and a couple of posters. Hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 46.

I didn't realize that making someone else's home with Carmen would be harder than making your own home with Carmen. If we thought she was anal before, we had no idea how she could be. We tried to integrate a lot of their old stuff, but when it clashed with the existing colors, Carmen made us start all over, even Eleazar got tired of it eventually. While part of it could have been her superficial concern for looks, most of it seemed to be that she wanted the home to look good for them. It was partially our fault they were now in the predicament they were in, it was mostly Christopher's fault, but part of it was my fault for not catching it sooner, and Randall's for killing him.

Finally, when we finished, Tanya and Nate brought Sarah and Lindsey to South America. Kate went to the airport to pick them up; we all decided that they would be most comfortable with her.

"We're back!" Tanya announced as the front door swung open.

Carmen seemed to be caught unawares, and jumped up from her seat. "Oh, hello!" she scurried up to Tanya and hugged her and gave her a peck on the cheek, and did the same to Nate. She almost did the same to Sarah, but Sarah pulled away, Lindsey slowly backed up until she was behind her mother.

"Sorry...they're still a little shaken up," Nate explained. It was okay, I was trying to hide behind Kate and Garrett, who were still in their embrace.

"No, that's perfectly understandable," Carmen said, taking a few steps back.

Eleazar nodded. "We're all very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you for understanding," Sarah said softly, "Lindsey, why don't you go and play with Nate," she added, pushing her forward gently, but neither Lindsey nor Nate budged.

"Maybe we could invite Nessie down sometime," Tanya suggested. "I bet Lindsey would enjoy having another little girl around."

"I think that's a good idea," Kate agreed.

"Maybe after they settle down. We brought down some of your things and tried to set up as best we could, but of course everyone likes things their own particular way," Carmen smiled.

"Thank you," Sarah said softly. "So which room is ours?"

Eleazar tilted his head. "All of them. Our home is your home, if you want to stay in here that is."

"We thought you would be more comfortable outside the house," Garrett added. "You probably know from Nate and Tanya things can get a little wild in here," he chuckled and wrapped his arms tighter around Kate, "we've built you two a little place out back.

Sarah's eyes widened as she realized she would, in fact, not have to live in the house with us. I had to think of the courage it took her to make that decision and could only admire her for it, especially when my own behavior had been much less than courageous lately. "Oh, you didn't have to," she said.

"Sorry mom, but every night things can get quite...loud," Nate said, with only a fraction of embarrassment.

"The house is just a few hundred feet away, come on, we'll show you. Trust me, you don't want to be here at night...and sometimes during the day as well. Three couples at night is loud even if you don't have super hearing. Clara will probably be begging to move in with you by next week," Kate chuckled, but the jest was a bit too much, Sarah tensed for a moment.

"Come on, Mom," Nate said, gently pushing her along.

We walked out the front door and Sarah still seemed uneasy. Part of me wanted to just leave her alone, I knew that my interacting with her would likely do no good, but part of me wanted to reassure her that under no circumstances would I ask to live with her. I gradually lessened my pace until we were uncomfortably beside one another. "No, I wouldn't do that," I nearly whispered, looking just over her shoulder to avoid eye contact.

"I'm sorry if I offended you. It's just...hard, seeing your mate tear apart the man I loved," she replied equally as quiet as I was.

The last words sent a pang of guilt through me. After a hundred years of marriage she was left a widow. I wondered how she managed it, my longest marriage had been five years long, and I killed Robert.

"No, you didn't, I'm actually mad at him too. If it helps I asked him not to do that. If it makes you feel more comfortable we'll go if he comes back." The if killed me, but it had been nearly a month and he had yet to show his face.

"And why are _you_ mad at him?" Sarah asked as if it wasn't obvious. Did I really seem that unable to feel compassion?

"Because of what he did to your family, of course, it wasn't worth that."

"No, my husband did something very wrong. He shouldn't have...done what he did in the first place."

I couldn't deny that, so I kept my mouth shut and it was silent until we reached the house.

Sarah gasped. "Oh my..." she trailed, eyes wide, mouth left slightly parted.

Nate grinned, and Lindsey stepped out from her mother's shadow. "Do I get my own room?" she asked.

Carmen chucked, I could tell that despite the mess she was bound to make Carmen would enjoy having a little girl around. "Of course, go on and take a look."

Lindsey was the first to go through the door and raced her way up the stairs. For a moment I couldn't help but imagine that she was mine, but that image quickly faded.

The rest of us watched as Sarah and Nate investigated the rest of the house.

"I think we covered everything, but of course, it's been a long time since any of us have been human, so we may have forgotten something. If there's anything you need let us know," Eleazar said.

Sarah, who seemed to be in a better mood now, smiled. "Did you remember food?" she asked lightheartedly.

"We got that, we aren't that thick," Kate laughed. "The refrigerator and the pantry are fully stocked, just tell us whenever you need to go into town to get more food."

"Thank you, this is all very kind," Sarah said.

"It was nothing, really," Carmen smiled. "When Tanya and Nate decide to tie their knot we really will be family. We'll leave you to enjoy your home, we'll just be in the house if you need anything."

With that we left. Nate stayed with his family, but Tanya came with us. When we were in our house and they were in theirs, it was like they weren't even there, that would be good for them. When we got inside Tanya explained the details of their trip to us. I didn't really listen until she got to the part about Christopher.

"Well, we were in Russia, and as you know I saw Christopher at the store getting provisions, so I tracked him to where he was living though I couldn't go any further since I knew I could get caught. Instead, Nate went. A few days after I tracked Christopher to his hiding place Nate went to the family friend and said that we had broken up and he wanted to return to his family, but it was too late. Christopher was dead. It was only a few days, I don't see how we missed Randall," Tanya shook her head. "From there Nate reunited with the rest of his family, I tried to stay in the background, but of course, they noticed me. That's how we found out exactly what happened to Christopher. It actually took us about a week to convince them to come home with us."

I sighed and sank into the couch as Tanya continued on with some other stories about her trip, mostly about Nate. My mind couldn't help but wander to where Randall might be right now, what might have happened to him. Three weeks? Did he not know where we were? Was he unable to locate South America on a map or pick up a phone?

Finally Nate came in and lured Tanya upstairs. On a whim I grabbed the house phone, went up to my room, and called Randall's cell. He had left it at home when he went chasing after Christopher, but maybe he had it now. At the very worst I would get the message machine.

As I sat down on the bed the other line rang once, twice, three times before I heard a voice on the other end. "Hello?"

At first I wanted to cry out in joy, finally I could talk to him, but then I realized it wasn't him. It was a woman's voice on the other line. "Um...hi..." I replied slowly. "Is this Randall Harris' phone?"

"Clara? Is that you?" the voice on the other side asked. My stomach turned with bitterness as I finally recognized it. Mary. What was she doing with his phone? If he was with her I'd kill them. I was about to elaborate on how exactly I would kill them when Mary sighed deeply. "I'm sorry...Randall gave me this phone in case someone from the family called...I don't know how to tell you this..."

"Mary, why in God's name do you have Randall's phone?" I hissed.

"Randall went to the Volturi," Mary said, a sad but graceful lilt to her voice, like she had practiced saying this. "He thought you were dead and he wanted to be with you, I'm sorry."

Fear gripped me like an ice cold hand at my throat. No. No. That couldn't be true. It couldn't, and yet I couldn't think of a logical reason why it wouldn't. The realization hit me like a bolt of lighting, the flash of knowledge shocking me with paralyzing dread. I now knew where my note had gone, Randall had it, or had had it, but still, I refused to believe it to be true. "That can't be right," my mind swirled, "he just...it was only...but..." I sputtered.

"I have both of your notes right here, I could read them to you if you want," Mary said, bitterness lacing her tone.

"But...when?" I finally managed a coherent question, followed by another, "why did you let him do that?"

"It wasn't my decision, Clara," Mary said, I could almost see her unsympathetic shrug. "Still, I wonder," she continued, "how did you survive the Volturi?"

"They didn't want me dead," I answered, my voice was starting to shake, "but that doesn't matter right now." Something about Mary's tone threw me off, it was so hard to believe her when she barely sounded upset, or confused, or even surprised that I was still alive. "What's wrong with you? Why would you just let him run off and do that, I thought you liked him too! Damn it, you're lying to me, Mary!" I cried, my voice near a shout.

The soft murmurings of curiosity I heard coming from downstairs, but didn't listen to were my cue to quiet down.

"I swear I'm not lying to you," Mary argued, "I can ship the note if you need clarification."

My mind searched for holes in her story at lightning speed, I'd never hoped for something to be untrue so much as this. "Why wouldn't he call the family first?" I demanded.

Mary sighed, it was heavy, laced with sadness, it was the sadness that made my heart tense. "I don't know. He was upset. He thought you had gone off and killed yourself. Are you thinking straight right now?"

I remembered my suicidal thoughts, they weren't rational, I hadn't called the family out of shame. Why was I so stupid? Why hadn't I gone back to get the note? "Is he gone yet?" I asked out of final desperation. "Is it done? I can go to Volterra right now if there's any chance there's still time."

"He left about two weeks ago," Mary said somberly.

My heart sank. The cold hand gripped my throat in a strangle hold and I couldn't speak, or even think of anything to say. There was only the sadness that ran like a river, and I was pinned under it with no hope for escape. Finally some sound escaped me and I moaned, knowing it would soon turn to sobs.

"I'm so sorry, if I had known I would have stopped him," Mary said quietly. "I don't know what to tell you, but I've got to go, my new mate is back from hunting." She already had a new mate? I shook my head, it wasn't anything against him, she probably had her new boyfriend before Randall even came around.

"Okay," I sighed. "Thank you for telling me."

At that there was the distinct silence of a disconnected line. I hung up the phone, and then threw it at the wall. It broke into about a million pieces and fell into the hole it created. I let out a choked sob and sunk into the corner where the wall and my bed met. Curled up there I felt like a lead weight on my chest kept me there and held me under the river of tears.

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**I bet you didn't see that coming. Muahaha...well, thank you to my beta and my readers, you're my favorites! Have a nice week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	47. Chapter 47

**Good afternoon readers! I apologize for being somewhat late, but due to a busy week I wrote most of this yesterday and today. I still don't own Clara and I still don't own Twlight. Happy reading!**

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Chapter 47.

3:26, the clock softly glowed in a bright red hue. I only knew the difference between a.m. and p.m. by the presence or absence of the little red dot in the bottom left hand corner. It was morning, the dot was absent and not even the faintest beams of sunlight escaped through the blinds. 3:27.

I couldn't believe he was really gone. Sometimes I would slip away from reality and forget why I was sad, only hoping that he would come back soon and make it better, and when I realized he wasn't coming back, it made it worse. I fantasized about Mary being wrong, he was turned away, the Volturi told him I was not dead and spared him. I imagined him showing up in front of the house. Someone would call out that he was here, and as much as a mess as I looked, I would run out into his arms and kiss him over and over again and it would be like nothing happened.

"Clara?" I heard someone call, interrupting one of these fantasies. I wasn't exactly sure how long I had been lying here, but it had been at least a day. "Clara?"  
I knew they would come looking at some point, but I didn't really care. I wasn't going to move from this spot. Maybe if I waited long enough and didn't hunt, Randall would come to me in hallucinations. Suddenly the door opened, light flooded into the room and my eyes took a moment to adjust.

"Oh! There you are!" Tanya smiled, coming into the room. "Pretending to take a nap?" she asked. I wished she wasn't so perky, and I was pretty sure she wouldn't be once I told her what happened. If I could that is.

Whether I was more unable or unwilling I didn't respond. I just lay listless on the bed.

Tanya finally noticed something was off. "Clara, what's wrong?" she asked, sitting down next to me.

I shook my head and buried my face into the pillow. "He's gone," I finally whimpered.

"Who's gone?" Tanya asked softly.

My breath started to become uneven, I finally felt the sobs coming on. "R-R" I stuttered. "He's gone…Volterra…my fault." Even I knew those were the only intelligible words I had uttered. Hopefully Tanya would get the message.

"Randall went to Volterra? Why?"

"He found…" I sat up and paused to collect myself long enough to say it. "He found the note I wrote you guys right before I went to Volterra. He must have believed it and went to kill himself as well." Once it was out I returned to the blubbering mess I was before.

"Where did you hear that?" Tanya asked.

"Mary," I sighed. "She had his phone."  
Tanya shook her head, she seemed unsure of whether to believe it or not. "I'm so sorry, Clara," she finally said.

"What did Tanya do now?" Kate asked, poking her head into the room.

"I didn't do anything!" Tanya said defensively, then she looked down. "It's…it's Randall…Clara thinks he's dead."  
Kate looked shocked. "What? How?"

I cried even louder as Tanya retold the story. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear my stupid mistake, and I especially didn't want to hear how my stupid mistake had lost me my soul mate, the love of my life. I didn't want to hear it.

Finally Tanya finished, Kate climbed onto the bed and hugged me tightly. I couldn't stop sobbing though. The sound of my cries attracted the others, one by one, and again and again I had to hear the story retold. But finally everyone inside the house had heard. Everyone was congregated in my room, and strangely, it was relieving. It was nice to see them all there. I still clung to Kate and she held onto me just as tightly. Tanya was on my other side, her face a mirror of Kate's sorrow and concern, and Garret just behind her, staring at the blank wall. Carmen and Eleazar sat silently together on the far side of the room, they did not sit close together, but Eleazar rubbed the back of Carmen's hand gently. For once the house was quiet and somber, almost peaceful. Yet, there was one face, one body, one set of warm arms missing.

_13 years later_

The cherry blossom trees were lovely in the spring, it was too bad I couldn't go out and take a closer look today. Not only was the sun out and shining, but the neighbors' kids had gathered near the property line for a game of cricket. I watched them as they chased each other around, laughing, playing, occasionally arguing and hitting one another with the bats, but soon all was forgiven and the game continued.

I watched wistfully as they played until their parents called them in for supper.

"You do realize you look incredibly creepy right now," a voice chuckled behind me.

I looked up. Even after all these years I would expect to see _his _face sometimes, but no, it was Garrett who said it. "I'm going to lure them all to the house and eat them like little ginger bread cookies," I replied, a smirk teasing the corners of my lips.

Garrett nodded. "That's nice," he said nonchalantly, "by the way, you got a phone call from the Cullens, they wouldn't tell me what they wanted aside from you calling them back."

"Okay, I'll do that now," I said, getting up to find the phone. My "out in public" time had just run up, and now I was left with little to do. I picked up the phone. It took me a second to figure out the Japanese numbers, but eventually I did and I dialed up the Cullens, an extra long number because of the distance. Northern Japan was nowhere near Brazil.

"Hello?" Carlisle answered.

"Hi Carlisle, it's Clara."

"Oh! Clara, I'm glad you called; I have good news for you." I could almost hear the grin on his face.

"Yes? What is it?" My hope swelled a little, but it fell again, there was no way, even if the Quileutes were still wolves it would be the same generation the Cullens had crossed.

"I think we can persuade one of the Quileute wolves to take out your baby. You see, the alpha's wife, Ellie, is expecting, about five months along I suppose. If we want to try and convince Jacob to take your baby out, now is a prime opportunity. I have an appointment with Ellie in a couple of months, and I'd like you to meet her," Carlisle said.

I sighed. I didn't want to ask someone else to take my baby out. Having to ask once was bad enough, and how could I trust another man to cut me open? I tried to get around it. I searched back through everything Carlisle said about them. "Didn't you say there was a girl?" I asked. "Could we get her to do it instead? I'd feel more comfortable that way."

"I don't think Leah would be willing to do that, she still hates us, but Jacob has grown more ambivalent in the past few years, and his wife's friendship with Ava has helped a lot too. However, Leah's brother, Seth, is our backup. Jacob might not, but if we talked to Seth I bet he would say yes. He and Edward formed something of a friendship when they first met each other, and I hear he and his wife are trying to start a family."

"Where did you hear that?" I asked. Had he and the wolves patched up to the extent that they shared details of their personal lives?

"I have my sources," Carlisle said simply. "So what do you think?" he asked.

"I still don't know Carlisle," I said warily. I wouldn't let myself become vulnerable like that again without absolute confidence that I could trust the man who was cutting open my stomach.

Carlisle sighed. "I know how hard it is to regain trust Clara, but at least come and meet him before you make your decision, you can at least do that. If you decide not to that's okay."

"Alright Carlisle." It wouldn't hurt to meet this Jacob guy, right?

"Thank you, Clara, you won't regret it, I promise. You could meet me at our house in a couple weeks, although Esme says you're welcome to come any time you like if you want to visit."

"That sounds great Carlisle, I'll probably come down in a few days."

"Great, take care," Carlisle said.

"You too, bye." I hung up the phone.

"What did Carlisle want?" Garrett asked. "Are you okay? You look kind of nervous." He stepped closer and put his hand on my shoulder. We had pretended to be married for the public's sake, so as not to cause controversy and attract attention, and now such gestures were typical of him.

I shook my head. "I'm fine, Garrett. Carlisle said he's going to approach the wolves about taking out my baby. He wants me to go with him."

"That's great, Clara," Garrett smiled. "I hope it happens for you."

"I'm nervous," I said flatly. "I don't trust Jacob."

Garrett put his other hand on my shoulder. "Look, Clara, what happened to you was horrible, I know it, but you can't distrust everyone. If it was only going to be Jacob in the room I would understand, but Carlisle's going to be there too, you have no reason not to trust Carlisle."

I nodded. Carlisle was a good man. I trusted him. Still, I sighed. Garrett didn't need to know that this was making my stomach churn, that every time I thought of Jacob, Christopher's face came to my mind. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, trying a smile.

"You can't fool me," Garrett said. "Randall would want you to do this."

I hadn't thought of that. Somehow I felt that Randall would be mightily opposed to this, unless he was sitting right next to me with a shotgun up to Jacob's head. The though made me chuckle. The smile seemed to appease Garrett and he took his hands off my shoulders.

"Do you mind if I let the others know? Or did you want to tell them?" he asked.

"You can tell them," I said, the words barely came out.

"Great!" he said, his grin stretched from ear to ear. He walked out of the room, much more certain than I was. I put my hand on my stomach. I still wanted to see my baby. That was one thing Randall would want. When he suggested that Christopher take my baby out in the beginning, he only meant to help me, he only meant for me to be free of the heavy chain that kept me tied to the home, and I did trust Carlisle. Maybe I was over reacting. Maybe this could be a good thing.

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**I'd like to thank my betas (yes! both of them) for helping me with this. I'd also like to announce that we are approching an end. Ideally, I would round this off with an even fifty chapters, but it may or may not happen, 52 would be my second choice (I like even numbers). So if you liked this so far or have any suggestions/requests of what I should write next let me know! Thanks!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette ;)**


	48. Chapter 48

**Hello readers! Did I mention that I hate document manager? Well I have now. Still, it's good to see you! So I know some of you had questions last week, and I apologize for any confusion. Here are some facts to set you straight.**

**1. Jacob did not imprint on Renesmee, I know it's been a while since the Breaking Dawn chapters, so I guess I'll refresh you. He's now married to a human named Ellie.**

**2. Ellie and Ava are close friends, but they do not share a husband ;)**

**3. Carlise is Ellie's obstetrician (if that's the right word) because she and Jacob wanted the best doctor, and who's better than Dr. Cullen?**

**4. Still don't own Clara, still don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 48.

It felt like home, riding in the open jeep towards our house in South America. I had enjoyed being there, seeing the sunlight sparkle on my skin from time to time, hunting the exotic animals, just watching the dew glisten on the tropical leaves. Once the sting of loosing Randall had become less sharp I was able to see the beauty of this place again, but there was always that burn when I saw this place. "Here we are," Carlisle said, and the house came into view, the same bright yellow color it was before, the same plants grew around the support beams. As much as they squabbled Esme and Carmen had very similar tastes.

"Clara!" Renesmee raced out to meet us, her golden brown ringlets bouncing behind her. She was fully grown now; she had been for a while in fact. She has never looked childish, but now her adult looks were not quite so strange. Her limbs had finally stretched to their full length and she stood about five seven, and her face and body had matured to match her mindset. It was very becoming on her, some, particularly Bella, would say that she had even better looks than most vampires because they seemed more natural. She hugged Carlisle and me. "How's Japan?" she asked. "I've always wanted, to go, but we haven't yet. Dad says that a certain someone is planning to take me there soon, although he won't say who it is. Would you happen to know?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"We haven't been plotting anything if that's what you're asking, but we'd be happy to have you whenever you'd like to come," I chuckled.

"Well," Renesmee grinned, "I think I have some idea," she glanced back at the house.

Nahuel was leaning against the wall, a little smile of contentment on his face. It was a good thing the house was as large as it was. The Cullens were now eleven. It only seemed just a few years ago Jasper wrote me about the little coven of "vegetarian" vampires he had found, and now they were like family.

Carlisle chuckled and pulled my bag out of the trunk. "Let's get this stuff inside," he said. "I can't believe you kept this all these years."

I knew that I was still incredibly unsure about whether or not I would let Jacob cut into me, but it couldn't hurt to hope a little. At the very least I was humoring Carlisle, so I brought the clothes and other items I had saved for the baby just after I had turned to South America with me.

"They did take a while to find," I replied. They were stuffed in one of the very back corners of the attic, along with some of Irina and Sasha's things. I had to shake the dust and mothballs off and wash them again. The colors of the blankets and baby clothes had faded dramatically. I had almost thought of buying new ones, but I couldn't. These were for this baby. Either my mother or I had made them, or Robert and I had picked them out. Nothing else would do. Nothing else would be right.

"Clara," Esme smiled, coming out of the house and enveloping me in yet another hug.

"It's good to see you Esme," I said.

"It's good to see you too, come in," she said, ushering me inside the house.

The inside had been completely redone of course; Emse would never keep the same design as Carmen.

It was good to see all the Cullens again; we hadn't visited in a year. "I see Renesmee hasn't told you her news yet," Edward chuckled, walking into the room.

"Dad!" Renesmee exclaimed. "Well, now I guess I have to tell you," she sighed; she swung out her hand and touched my stomach, just because it stuck out so much against the rest of my body I supposed.

No images came into my mind. I looked at her, confused. "What is it?" I asked. "I'm not seeing anything."

Renesmee laughed. "I don't need my gift to show you this, look down."

I looked down. As usual my stomach blocked any view of the floor I might have had. Renesmee's hand sat atop it, seemingly for no reason. Then I saw it. It seemed simple compared to Renesmee herself, but I knew the ring on her finger had to be incredibly expensive. A large diamond with at least a hundred facets sparkled as Renesmee moved her hand a few centimeters. The rest of the ring seemed to be made up of smaller diamonds, forming a band held together with a platinum setting. "Congratulations Renesmee," I smiled. "You have good taste, Nahuel."

"In women, yes, I think I do, but Nessie picked out the ring," Nahuel said. The smile had not left his face, but it gained an extra sparkle as he mentioned his little nickname for her. Bella grimaced at it and I chuckled.

"I can't believe she's all grown up," Rosalie said. She seemed to be even more upset about Renesmee's short childhood than Bella or Edward was.

"So how are Tanya and Nate?" Bella asked. She was very pleased that Tanya had found someone to fixate on who wasn't her husband. In fact, we all were, it made visiting the Cullens with her much less awkward.

"They're great, they set a wedding date; it's actually in a few months."

"AND NO ONE TOLD ME!!!" Alice screamed. She wasn't even in the room, but we soon heard her shuffling loudly upstairs.

"Sorry Alice!" I called up to her. "Carmen and Sarah wanted to have a say in it! It's supposed to be very low key for their first wedding because they're both posing as minors." They were coming later, should I decide to get my baby out with Jacob. We didn't want to have too many vampires in the area, and it was their spring break.

"You'll have Renesmee's wedding," Esme called up to her, but by the sounds of it she wasn't upstairs anymore.

A soft gasp came from the next room and the footsteps stopped. "What is it, Alice?" Jasper asked.

" I just had a vision and the future is very exciting!" Alice beamed, bouncing in. Jasper followed her in confusion.

"How would you know, you can't see Renesmee's future," Rosalie scoffed.

"Who said I was talking about her future?"

"Whose future are you talking about then?" I asked.

"Yours of course," Alice giggled, seemingly unable to contain her excitement.

"That's only the path I'll take if I decide to go through with it Alice," I sighed, "right now I'm leaning towards yes, but I'm still not sure." I would have to meet Jacob before I could trust him, and beyond that, he'd have to say yes first.

"I'm not even talking about that," Alice grinned.

"What are you talking about then?" Jasper asked although he was smiling too, her mood was rubbing off on him. "What else could possibly be that exciting?"

"I can't tell you, you'll tell her."

"She's right," Edward said, "this is something that will have a better effect if Clara doesn't know about it."

That was strange, I couldn't think of anything that would excite Alice this much either. Now I wanted to know. "Alice, how can I make it happen if I don't know what it is? What if I do something wrong."

"Trust me, there is nothing you can do to prevent this, and if plans change I will make sure to set them right again," Alice assured me.

Throughout the week, I, along with everyone else in the house, tried to get the answer out of Alice or Edward, but neither would spill. Soon it was time to head up to Forks.

Ellie's appointment wasn't for four more days, but we wanted to resettle in the Cullens' house in Forks before the appointment which would, of course, be in the house. Carlisle said it wasn't a good idea for a woman carrying twins to be exposed to eleven years worth of dust and other things that might be in the house. Cleaning the house under Alice's inspection, however, wasn't nearly as difficult as cleaning a house under Carmen's so in comparison it took no time at all.

Suddenly the phone rang.

"It's probably just Esme checking in," Carlisle said before picking it up. "Hello, Cullen residence." There was a pause. "Really?" Carlisle asked; he seemed surprised.

The response on the other end of the line was audible. "YES, REALLY!" a deep voice shouted, "WHAT DO I DO?"

"Okay, calm down, meet me at the hospital, the house isn't quite ready yet. I'll be right there."

The voice on the other end seemed to calm down, or at least we couldn't hear it.

"Yes, Jacob. Okay, I'll be there. Goodbye," Carlisle repeated before hanging up. He looked at us and bit his lip. "There's something wrong with Ellie, but Jacob wouldn't give me anything more specific than that. I think she's going into premature labor, but I'm going to go by the hospital to make sure. I'll call you when it's a good time to come," Carlisle said.

Alice, Jasper, Tanya, Nate, and I looked at each other as Carlise grabbed his bag and ran out to the car.

"Can we stop cleaning then?" Nate asked.

"No," Alice replied after some thought. "Esme would kill us."

So we finished the cleaning, and then we waited. And waited. And waited. We waited six hours to be exact. Finally Carlisle called us and told us it was okay to come over. When we got there, however, we couldn't find him. We decided to split up and look for him.

The Forks Hospital was a good looking hospital for such a small town. The facilities were nice but, a scent caught my attention more as I walked down the halls, looking for Carlisle. It was horrible. Like a wet dog, sorely in need of a bath, but there wouldn't be any dogs in this hospital. I peeked into the room and noticed a Native American man hovering worriedly over his very pregnant wife, who appeared to be sleeping. I felt like I had seen him before.

I felt like I was intruding, so I left. I finally did find Jasper and Alice in the waiting room. "Did you find him?" Jasper asked.

"No," I sighed. "Did you?"

He shook his head and we sat together for a bit. Random people in the waiting room smiled at us. It was inevitable.

Suddenly Alice's cell phone rang, of course her ringtone was a high pitched, incredibly fast version of one of Mozart's pieces. Listening more closely I thought I could hear Edward's style of playing in it. She pulled the phone out of her purse, looked at it, and grinned. "I'll be right back," she said, flitting out of the room. A few minutes later she came back in, wearing the same beam which had decorated her face just after she had her vision.

"Who was that Alice?" I asked.

"No one," Alice said mysteriously.

"Alice is excited," Jasper grinned.

"What was the call about?" I begged, hoping for some clue.

"We'll just say my vision has been confirmed," Alice smiled.

Then Carlisle walked in, seeming totally at ease. Did people not notice him? It hadn't been that long since the Cullens had lived in the town.

"How did it go?" Jasper asked.

"The c-section went smoothly and the babies are no worse than expected for premies," Carlisle said. "They were actually larger than expected, they should be fine."

"So Jacob's in a good mood?" Jasper asked.

"Well, not exactly. Jasper, do you mind standing outside Ellie's room?" he asked. "Apparently they didn't know they were having twins, of course, that's mostly because they didn't want to know whether it was a boy or a girl and wouldn't let me tell them anything, but Jacob is stressed out of his mind, and I want him calm."

"Sure," Jasper said.

"I'll go with him," I said. I didn't want to be left alone again. I went with Jasper and stood outside their room, I could hear them talking as Jacob explained that they had had twins.

Ellie was confused about her own abnormally calm reactions, so when she asked Jacob about it Jasper popped his head in and waved.

"Congratulations guys," Jasper smiled before closing the door again. "You okay, Clara?" he asked, looking over at me.

I nodded, I hadn't noticed the heavy frown on my face, the ache in my heart as my hands found their way to my stomach yet again.

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**Hmm...I wonder what Alice's vision could be? Thanks to everyone! See you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	49. Chapter 49

**Happy Easter readers! Anyway, here's the next chapter, don't own Clara, don't own Twilight, don't own the little conversation with Ellie (if it seems like Clara is speaking strangely that's why) don't even really own Jacob in this one. Okay, well, do enjoy!

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**

Chapter 49.

I was looking at the nursery through the plexi-glass window when Ellie and Carlisle came up. They looked together for a moment, and then Carlisle left.

She looked at the babies happily for a while, but I couldn't tell which ones she was looking at. I looked for tufts of dark hair and light copper skin, but I had several guesses as to which two were her two.

"Which one is yours?" I finally asked. I knew she had two, but then, it would look incredibly strange if I knew that.

She looked at me, curiosity riddled her features, and at that point I realized that she knew about vampires. She would be curious about my pregnant state. She would ask.

"Um, actually I just had twins…" she said, slightly nervously. She pointed out her babies. A boy named Channing and girl named Kenley. I smiled a little at the name Kenley. Stella's last name had been Kenley. I hoped that Ellie's little girl faced a better fate than Stella's.

I sighed and started rubbing my own stomach. Although I didn't mean to attract attention to myself, I knew she would ask anyway.

"When are you due?" she asked very, very quietly, so no one else could hear her.

I smiled sadly; my due date was so long ago even saying it would seem absurd, but if I was going to ask her husband to do a c-section, I may as well tell her the truth. "April 19th, 1948." Seventy-three years ago. Had it really been that long?

She gasped a little. "I…" It was clear she didn't know what to say.

I decided to change the subject. "I could smell your husband… he's a Shape Shifter, no?"

Ellie nodded.

I resolved to ask her about the c-section. She seemed kind enough, and after giving birth to twins she had to be sympathetic. If her husband said no perhaps she could convince him. "Would you mind if I came back to your room and sat down?"

"Not at all…" Ellie replied and we went to her room.

The only thing about this hospital that I disliked was the size of the chairs. They were hard for heavily pregnant women to get in and out of, which wasn't exactly smart for a maternity ward. It took me a while to get settled in the chair next to the window. "My name is Clara Finley," I finally said, realizing I had failed to introduce myself.

"I'm Ellie…Ellie Black." Of course, I knew this, but I played along to satisfy her.

"It's very nice to meet you Ellie. Carlisle has told me so much about you."

"You know Carlisle?"

"Oh, yes…" I paused. "He's the reason I'm here. He's going to...fix me," I replied. I wasn't sure exactly how to phrase it so she would understand. I didn't want to exactly let on to what I wanted from Jacob. Not yet.

"Fix you…" Ellie repeated slowly. She didn't seem to understand.

"Yes." I closed my eyes; there would be no way around the subject. "He's going to try take it out."

When I opened my eyes again the color had left Ellie's face. "Your… baby?" she asked.

"What's left of it," I sighed. "My sweet baby girl died long ago. What's left inside of me is a shell. Just a body haunting me, and I want it out." The more I thought about it, the more I talked about it, the more sure I was of what I would decide. I dreaded the operation, but it needed to be done. I would be so much freer once she was out, and I'm sure she would have wanted it that way as well. Of course, had she been born she would be seventy-three years old, likely with grandchildren of her own.

Suddenly the door opened and Jacob walked into the room. He seemed extremely surprised by my presence, telling me Carlisle and Jasper hadn't approached him about removing my baby yet.

Ellie seemed unfazed by this meeting of wolves and vampires; it was apparently something she was used to, especially with Carlisle as her doctor. "How are the babies?" she asked Jacob, a grin appearing on her face at the word babies.

"They're doing great, Carlisle said he'd be able to bring them in sometime soon," Jacob said, but his glares at me, which came quickly enough that Ellie wouldn't notice, said he wouldn't bring his children into the room until I was gone. Not that I particularly wanted to be in the room when Ellie had the babies.

"Well, I'll leave you to your children. It was very nice to meet you Ellie, congratulations," I said, putting on a smile as I left.

Not sure where to go again, I went back to the waiting room to find Jasper or Alice, but they weren't there. Finally I returned to the nursery. I enjoyed watching the babies, even if they weren't mine. Sometimes I pretended one of them was. I sought out the one that I thought most looked like Robert and me. A little boy named Jay stood out. Unlike most of the other babies, he didn't seem content to lay in the bassinet. His bright blue eyes searched the room, he flailed around, and once pulled off his hat to reveal a head of thick, reddish brown hair. Eventually, however, they took him out, to his waiting parents I supposed, and I had to return to the reality that my baby was still in the womb, a little body trapped inside me.

Suddenly I felt a presence behind me. "Oh! There you are!" I exclaimed as Jasper revealed himself.

"I see you like looking at the babies," he said. "But I think I'll have to pull you away, Carlisle's gotten Jacob to talk with us, we're meeting in Ellie's room, come on." He took my hand when I stood in slight shock, and dragged me back to Ellie's room.

Jacob was standing against one wall, glaring at me. Ellie was fast asleep on the hospital bed, Carlisle, Alice, Tanya, and Nate were over on the other side of the room.

Carlisle smiled as we walked in. "Good, you're back. We can start now."

"This is eerily familiar," Tanya pouted, leaning against the wall. In a way, it was. We were meeting with an outside species, yet again, to work out the conditions for my c-section, yet again. The thought of going through another rape made me shudder. Jasper gently put his hand on my shoulder.

"And why is that?" Jacob asked.

I looked at Tanya pleadingly, praying for her not to talk about it. I couldn't relive that moment and go through with this. There was no way that if I let myself remember what happened last time that I would do what I needed to do.

Tanya seemed to catch on. "No reason, it's just the last time we tried this we had trouble," she said. Then she looked at him menacingly, a dark glare on her face, "and just so you know, the guy who gave us trouble is dead now."

Ellie stirred in her sleep. We all stood still for a moment, holding our breaths. She didn't wake, but the tension remained.

"Be calm, Tanya," Carlisle said, "I'm sure Jacob wouldn't do anything like that. So you and Ellie have discussed this?" he asked Jacob.

"Yes."

"And you understand what we want you to do?"

"Yes."

"And you're willing to do it to the best of your abilities?"

"Yes, I am, okay? If you don't stop asking me these questions I won't be." It was obvious he hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before. "When can we get this over with?" he asked. His waspish attitude towards the whole thing actually made me trust him more.

Christopher had been more than eager to do my c-section, but it seemed Jacob could hardly stand to be in the same room with vampires. Hopefully that meant he would do my c-section as quickly and efficiently as possible, and leave as soon as he finished.

"Whenever it's convenient for you," Carlisle said.

"I'm predicting tonight," Alice chirped. I guessed she saw me going through with it. I was curious. I wondered if she saw my baby, if she knew what it looked like, or if it was a boy or a girl? I had so many questions, but I couldn't ask her now.

Then it hit me. Tonight. That gave me no time to prepare, it gave me no time to deliberate and debate with myself. Of course, it gave me no time to change my mind, but if I did, it gave me no time to change it back. "That's really sudden, Alice, are you sure?" I finally asked.

"If you wait much longer he'll back out," she said.

"Exactly," Jacob agreed. Well, that gave me no flexibility. Now or never.

Carlisle looked at me for protest, but I gave none. I just stood quietly in the corner. "Good," he finally said. "So tonight, our house? You still know where that is, right?" he chuckled.

"Yes," Jacob said flatly.

"Good. How's eleven?" Carlisle asked, trying his hardest to lift the spirits in the room. It was dark and rainy outside, and the dim twilight didn't help that. The flickering florescent glow of the overhead lights was all we had to see each other by. Jasper's influence could be felt, but it didn't seem to affect anything.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders and replied in exactly the same tone he had used before. "Great."

"Thank you, Jacob," Carlisle said. "We'll leave now, if you don't mind."

"No, please do," he replied, motioning to the door.

The sleepy, dim weather made for a quiet ride home. Clouds hung heavy, ready to rain. When we arrived at the house it was pitch black outside. We had to squint to see, something, I hadn't had to do in a long time. Before I made it into the door a hand pulled me to the side.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Clara?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head. I wasn't sure. "I have to," I replied.

"Your emotions just keep jumping from place to place. First you're hopeful, then you're depressed, then you're excited, then you're wary. It's exhausting to keep up with you, Clara," Jasper chuckled. "I wanted to make sure you're okay with everything."

"Will you promise me something?" I asked. I couldn't see his face. I could only stare into the grey area that I thought was where his face should be.

"Of course," he responded.

"No matter what I'm feeling, no matter how much I beg or plead or cry, make me go through with this."

Jasper took my hand. "You won't need to beg or scream or cry, okay? We'll be right there with you."

I reached out and caught his embrace. "Thank you."

As we waited we prepared Carlisle's study for the c-section. We laid out towels and blankets on the dining room table. I put my suitcase with that baby's things in the corner of the room and changed into something more comfortable. Alice and Jasper brought in some lamps for extra light.

I paced the room a few times. Did I really want this? I sighed and rubbed my hand over my stomach. If it didn't come out, it was all I could be. A shell.

Then the doorbell rang.

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**Alright, I must be hurrying along, but thank you to all of you who read and review and help out with this story. :D**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	50. Chapter 50

**Hello again readers! Time for my weekly visit! Unfortunately, I still have no rights to Twilight or Clara, but do enjoy anyway.**

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Chapter 50.

Jacob walked in and it was time.

"Come on, you can do this," Jasper whispered as he led me up the stairs.

I was reluctant, hesitating on every step. I wanted it, I didn't, I wanted it, I didn't, every few seconds I changed my mind.

"Remember what you told me," Jasper said. I did. I took another step.

By the time I got to the room, Jacob had already transformed. He paced the room in his wolf form. I hadn't seen shape-shifters like Jacob before. He was a little larger than the Children of the Moon and much more wolf like, but he looked at me with human intelligence.

Carlisle helped me onto the table. I lay down. I stopped breathing and was perfectly still, trying to stop my thoughts as well.

I focused on Jacob. Jacob was a russet color with twinkling yellow eyes, flecked with brown. He stood about six feet to the shoulder in his wolf form. I could see how one of his kind could take down a vampire.

I focused on Carlisle, adjusted some lights, his brow furrowed, completely focused on the task ahead. His hair fell into his face for the fifth time as he drew a line for the incision on my stomach, and he finally resolved to wear a surgical cap.

Rolling my head to the side I could see Tanya and and Jasper. Tanya stepped over and grabbed my hand. "We'll be right here," she said softly, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Okay, Clara, are you ready to get started?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded.

"Good, come over here Jacob," Carlisle said.

Jacob made his way slowly.

Carlisle lifted up my shirt. I shivered. Not from cold, but from the memories, but I shook them away. "So we're going to cut here," he ran his finger over my stomach, "across the purple line."

Another shiver down my spine, but I tried to ignore it. I had to do this…or did I?

Suddenly I felt Jacob's claw on me, and memory seized me. I was back in Normen, on the old bed, Christopher was hovering over me, his eyes aglow with fiendish delight. "STOP!" I shouted.

"Stop what?" Carlisle asked.

I came back. Jacob's claw still rested in the same place. There wasn't a scratch on me. "I'm sorry, continue." I took a deep breath. I had to focus, it would do me no good to lose myself in memory here.

"Are you sure, Clara?" Carlisle asked.

Really? No, but if he gave me a choice I was afraid I would run. "Yes, I'm fine."

Carlisle nodded. "Please, continue Jacob," he said.

There was the claw again, black and sharp as obsidian. My body tingled, like an adrenaline rush. I felt the urgent need to run. The claw pressed into my flesh, the pressure was gentle, too gentle to cut skin.

"You're going to need to press a little harder," Carlisle told Jacob, putting his hand over Jacob's giant russet paw.

Jacob drew his paw away.

Carlisle chuckled. "Alright, you do it."

Suddenly the claw pierced my skin. I grimaced. Tanya's grip on my hand grew tighter. The gash grew bigger, but only by centimeters at a time. The pain intensified. This was much slower than what Christopher had done. It reassured me they were really going to do it, but it hurt. Before I realized what I was doing I cried out.

"It'll be okay, just a little more," Carlisle said.

Was he kidding? There was over three-quarters of the incision left! "I can't," I said. Not if they were going to do it that slowly.

"Yes you can," Carlisle said firmly. "I believe in you."

My left hand made its way to my stomach. I was itching to move. Carlisle moved my hand away. "You're only making this harder for yourself, Clara."

Jacob yawned and shook his head. His sharp teeth gleamed in the bright lights. I bit my lower lip. The memories were coming back. Jacob placed his other paw on my upper leg for support. The leathery pads pressed into my thigh. I couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes, but that did nothing. Christopher's face loomed over me.

"Clara, it'll work, I promise," Tanya said, but I barely heard her.

With my eyes shut it was all more frightening, yet I couldn't open them. The pain and pressure continued. Suddenly, without thinking, I pushed Jacob's paw away from the incision.

Just as suddenly my hand was restrained. With a scream I jerked from the hands that held me to the table. Paws and hands alike tried to push me back down. I hissed loudly and jumped from the table. My legs flew beneath me, out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs, but then I hit a wall of flesh.

"Easy there, Clara," Nate said, grabbing my shoulders. "What's the rush?"

Damn moon. It was almost full and he had most of the werewolf strength.

I struggled in his arms. He kept shifting his grip on my arms as I thrashed, trying to push him away. When all else failed I rammed my head into his chest, but even that didn't seem to bother him. Finally he put his hands on my face.

"Clara," he said firmly. "Don't you go chickening out. You have the tools to get your baby out and you're wasting it? Come on, that's not the Clara I know."

"I can't, Nate!" I exclaimed. He didn't understand. It kept coming back to me. I tried to explain, "I just…keep…thinking…" the sound became caught in my throat and I choked on it. When it came out it came out as a sob, and I finally relented my will to run, letting my arms fall limp by my side.

He came closer and pulled me into his arms. They were warm, my head felt comfortable against his chest. "Listen here," he said gently, just loud enough to be heard over my quiet sobs. "I knew from the beginning there was something wrong with my dad's intentions, but I can tell Jake is nothing like that. He's a good guy, he wouldn't do anything risky. Trust me, I watched him with his kids earlier today. He has four now."

"I know that Nate," I sighed. "The fact he didn't want our kind near his children speaks volumes," although most of those volumes were about his disdain for vampires, some of them were about his love for his children. "But…why were you watching him anyway?" I asked.

Nate chuckled. "You don't think I'd let just any guy cut my sister in that region without certification from her brother, now do you?" He scoffed. "Please."

I couldn't help but smile a little myself. How sweet, no wonder Tanya liked him. Sometimes I wondered what she saw in him, but it was times like these I realized it. Then I came back to the present. This meant I would have to go back up. I'd have to face them again, after I had already failed.

"It's not Jacob," I said, trying to explain again. "It's the little things that keep me remembering what happened. Sometimes I don't see Jacob…I see _him._"

Nate and I looked up when the doorbell chimed. We weren't expecting anyone. There shouldn't be anyone at the door unless it was one of our family members, but then, maybe it was.

"I'll get it!" Jasper called. I heard him coming down the stairs, then a second set of footsteps.

A hint of movement proved to be Carlisle, sticking his head into the room. "Are you coming back, Clara?" Carlisle asked.

I took a deep breath and nodded. I remembered what I made Jasper promise me. I remembered that _I_ wanted this. "Yes, I just need a little more time."

Carlisle smiled and nodded before his face became serious again. "I understand, but please hurry, Jacob is only willing to stay another hour."

I nodded in return and Carlisle left. I found it strange that I couldn't hear the conversation between Jasper and the visitor at the door. It had to be another vampire. Maybe the Volturi had found out about the operation. Really, I didn't mind them watching over the operation, but having them in one of the most emotional moments in my existence, that bothered me a bit.

By the look of utter shock Nate's face as he gazed over my shoulder and the whisper of shoes moving from the tile of the parlor onto the living room carpet, I knew it had to be them. One of them was in the doorway behind me, probably Aro, but maybe Caius or Marcus. Another shiver ran down my spine. I wouldn't look at him, not yet. My mind was already swirling with images I wished would leave me, the milky eyes and the paper thin skin of the Volturi members would only add to that collection.

Nate couldn't seem to settle between my face and the faces I knew were behind me as he began to speak. "Look, I know what my dad did was wrong, but don't let that get in the way of your happiness. Just remember that Randall would have wanted you to do it."

Yes, Nate, that's just what I needed to regain my courage, a reminder of my dead husband.

The Volturi member was silent behind me, hovering like a shadow. Nate stood in front of me. Every escape was blocked, and behind my eyelids terrifying images flashed at lightning speed. My stomach twisted and turned.

Finally he glanced nervously around the room. "Well, I've got to go check in on Mom and Lindsey, hopefully you'll do okay now," he said before he scurried out, leaving me alone with the one of the Volturi, those I considered my enemies.

They killed my husband when they knew I was alive! Why didn't they tell him? They had no reason to want him gone, and yet they didn't save him. Idiots! They wanted me alive; they wanted my baby, why would they destroy the one person I care about above all others?

"How could you do this to me?" I asked them softly.

There was no response. A footfall was my only clue that there was someone still there.

"How could you do this to me?" I repeated, louder. "How could you make me go through this alone? You knew! You knew the whole time!" I cried, my back still to them.

More silence.

I couldn't stand their silence. "You said you wanted me alive!" I shouted. My voice became ragged. "How could you be so heartless?" I whimpered before my legs collapsed under me. I fell to my knees and started to sob.

Warm hands wrapped themselves around my shoulders gently; the skin barely brushed my shirt, almost as if he were afraid. I closed my eyes; I didn't want to see his face, whoever he was. "Shhhh," the voice whispered.

"No!" I protested, trying to pull myself from his grip, but it only tightened.

He sat, still behind me, and pulled me closer to him, as if to embrace me. Why would he do that? If the Volturi regretted their decision they should have considered the consequences before they acted. His right hand left my shoulder, only to reappear upon my cheek.

I sobbed again and batted it away.

The voice behind me sighed. As he spoke he became more familiar. "Open your eyes."

The thoughts ran through my head at break-neck speed. Could it be? No. But there was no one in the Volturi who had the ability to morph their voice like that. That only included members I knew of, and I hadn't spoken to them in eleven years. I was ninety-nine percent sure this was a trick, yet still uncertain.

Slowly I opened my eyes.

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**I apologize if that was A. An annoying cliff hanger or B. Glaringly obvious. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers and everyone who helped with this! Oh, this upcoming week I'm going on a trip with my school chorus, so there may or may not be an update next Sunday depending on what kind of time I get between today and Wednesday night. Have a good week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


	51. Chapter 51

**Hello there! Did you miss me last week? I'm sure you didn't haha. Anyway, we're nearing the end. Still don't own Clara, still don't own Twilight. Woo!**

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Chapter 51.

What kind of trick was this? Randall was dead. He had to be. If the Volturi didn't kill him they surely would have told him I was alive and he would have come home. If he knew I was alive, but didn't want to return, then surely he wouldn't be here. So why did I see his face? How could I feel the warmth of his hands as they gently took mine?

He silently made his way around me, until he was sitting in front of me. We just stared at each other for a second. He seemed as shocked by my presence as I was by his. First his eyes brightened, almost laughing, and the smile slowly crept onto his face. "Hello, Clara," he almost chuckled.

I all could do was stutter. "What? How? I-I--" I couldn't figure out if I was hallucinating or if maybe someone had killed me and I just couldn't remember it.

No matter the cause of this illusion, it was magnificent. He looked and sounded exactly the same. His eyes crinkled in the same way as he began to laugh again, his chestnut hair flew as he threw his head back, then looked at me again, his teeth gleamed and when he paused to regain his breath, he looked at me with the fire, the intense love he had before. "I could ask the same thing," he grinned.

Could it be that he was really here? I had to test it. Warmth and soft skin was there to greet me as I touched his cheek. He didn't disappear as my fingers travelled down his face and neck, and when I reached his chest, I could feel it move up and down as he breathed. As improbable as it was, he was here. "Where did you go?" I whispered.

His smile fell, the mirth and joy in his eyes turned to serious sadness. "Mary lied to me," he finally murmured.

Mary lied to him? What did that mean? She obviously lied to me too, but what did he do when Mary lied to him? "You didn't answer my question," I said.

"I love you," he said. He moved so we were only inches apart. "I love you, I love _you._"

I could only wonder what he had done. "I love you too. I missed you, so much, but that doesn't answer my question. Where did you go?"

He sighed. "Clara, you have to understand. When I came back to England after killing Christopher--"

"You killed him in front of his family!" The words flew out of my mouth with unexpected fervor.

He put his finger over my lips. They tingled. "Sh...listen. I know, I was angry, I was wrong, and when I came home, and you weren't there, I understood just how wrong I was." He stopped.

My heart broke for him again. I kissed his finger before taking it off my lips. "I'm listening."

He shook his head. "I just wanted to have you back, and then you were gone, and I didn't know what to do. I made arrangements to go to Italy. I'm not even sure if it was lucky or not, but Mary found me, and she convinced me not to go, she said you wouldn't want me to, and I believed her. I--I went home with her."

I swallowed hard. This story was not heading in a direction I approved of. I remembered the phone call Mary and I had, I remembered her mentioning a new mate. "And...what did you do when you got there?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered quickly. "I couldn't do anything but lay on her couch and think about you. That didn't please her too much of course," he said with a humorless chuckle. "She tried, she really did, but I chose a long time ago, I wouldn't respond the way she wanted. She'd give up for a time, then come back again. Two days ago, she was so frustrated she let it slip that you were still alive. I'm so sorry Clara, if only I had known...if I had known I would have...I would have done exactly what I'm doing now," he said as he leaned in until our lips touched.

The tingle that had raced with a touch of his finger turned to a fire at the touch of his lips. After so much time apart, we were finally one again, if just for a moment.

"Clara," Carlisle said, startling us both. He seemed dumbstruck for a moment before he continued. "As much as I'd like to congratulate you on finding your husband, we have twenty minutes before Jacob is going to leave; you need to come now if you want to do this."

Oh, right, the baby. Randall stood up and held out his hand for me. "Carmen told me about it when I finally tracked down the family," he grinned. "Looks like I came just in time."

"Randall...I," I started as I stood up.

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me. He leaned in, his lips brushed my ear, and he whispered. "You've wanted this all along, Clara, I won't leave your side." He paused for a moment; out of the corner of my eye I could see a slight grin on his lips. "After eleven years away from you, I have had many fantasies in which I looked into your eyes and grabbed your ass at the same time."

I smirked and nodded as immature and strange as it was, I had had similar fantasies, and while I realized he was trying to keep my mind off what was going to happen, it still worked. "I'm coming," I said.

He led me up the stairs, down the hall which I had sprinted down less than an hour ago. "Jacob, I think?" he asked as we walked into the room.

The room was relatively empty now. I wasn't sure of where Tanya and Jasper went. I supposed they were downstairs still, but I didn't mind. I didn't need a roomful of people to do this, just Carlisle, Jacob, and of course, Randall to watch over and protect me.

Jacob nodded, but his lips pulled back again. He didn't seem to like the idea of an unfamiliar vampire.

"My name is Randall Harris, I'm Clara's husband," he said, grabbing my hand.

"It's alright Jacob, he's just going to watch instead of Tanya," Carlisle said. "Let's begin again. Randall, will you watch her closely? If she tries anything stop her."

Randall smiled. "I'm sure she wouldn't do anything like that," he said. He helped me up onto the table. "Don't you worry; I won't take my eyes off her."

Carlisle pulled up my shirt again, exposing my stomach. I glanced at it nervously. Jacob retook his position, the heat radiated from his body as he placed his paw on my stomach. The pain set in as the flesh ripped, I bit my lower lip, my fingers started to tap on the table top. All I could see was his claw, tearing me in two. I closed my eyes and moaned softly.

"Doll face," the whisper was barely audible, Carlisle and Jacob wouldn't hear him. "Do you remember back to the late forties, your newborn stage?"

I nodded. "It was forty-eight," I mumbled, but even when I opened my eyes my gaze was fixed on the incision. They'd only been working ten seconds, but to a vampire in pain, every millisecond was just as clear as if it were in slow motion.

"That's right," he said, he shifted himself so his face blocked my view of my stomach; he reached around and moved his body so as to block my view of the operation entirely. Very clever. "Remember, it was pouring cats and dogs outside, a little like it is now, and we were sitting in that motel room."

"It was an inn," I protested, playing along with his game. As long as I listened I didn't think about the pain, I didn't think about the last time. I searched my memory for more details, "the Prairie Dog Inn or something silly like that."

"Right, and you asked me if I would act as the father to your child."

I nodded, the request seemed even more appropriate now.

"I said I would, and I will, no matter what the outcome, and I also said I would be here, and I am, okay? So are you going to trust me now?" he asked, quickly glancing back at Carlisle and Jacob.

Although I began to fear what I was agreeing to, I nodded.

Randall looked back and bobbed his head once at Carlisle and Jacob, before immediately turning his attention back to me and taking my hands. "I imagine this will feel very strange, just hold my hands."

Before I could even question what he meant I felt something unnatural happening. For a brief but terrifying moment I thought I was being raped again, but then I realized the feeling was too high up. My stomach was open; my womb was open as well. As I came to my senses I could more clearly feel Carlisle's hands inside of me. A deafening silence filled the room as my body tensed at this new sensation. The only sounds were the slight shuffling of Carlisle's scrubs and Jacob's breathing. I squeezed Randall's hands with a vengeance, but his steady gaze never wavered.

Suddenly I felt empty. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. I gasped as my torn skin was cut again, more quickly this time, then pushed back together before the weight I was missing was at least partially replaced by a towel covering most of my torso.

"It's a girl, Clara," Carlisle said.

Glancing around Randall to get a better look, I saw Carlisle cradling a bundle, but the only part of the bundle I could see was the yellow blanket I had made so long ago.

"Would you like to see?"

I nodded eagerly before I could even think about it. After years of waiting I wanted to see, but I was also afraid. Would Carlisle let me see if she had become horribly disfigured in my transformation? If I asked for it he probably would. I sighed. It would be okay. She was gone anyway. There were no cries.

"Just call if you need me," Carlisle said as he handed me the bundle and he and Jacob left the room.

As I looked away from the door I caught Randall's glance and held it for a few seconds.

"Well, are you going to look?" he finally asked. "She's beautiful."

Looking down the first thing I saw were her piercing blue eyes. Not Robert's green ones, not the changing golden brown I currently wore, but my own blue eyes. For a moment I swore my heart jumped, for a moment I thought she was looking at me. But no, her gaze led just over my shoulder, to the corner where the wall met the ceiling. She wasn't looking at me; she was still staring into the abyss in which she had fallen so long ago. The dead eyes frightened me and a soft cry escaped my lips.

"It's alright," Randall whispered. He reached over and gently closed them. "Is that better?"

I pursed my lips and looked again. She no longer stared ahead fearfully, now she could sleep.

With that I pushed away some of the blanket. Immediately my fingers met the soft, dark tufts of hair that covered her head. I traced the outline of her face, soft and malleable with baby fat, but just as pale and cold as mine. I gazed at the full red lips and button nose, Robert's nose. I was glad she had something of his. Her little brow was furrowed for some reason, but it smoothed as I ran my thumb over it. Only then did she look peaceful.

A little hand fell from the blanket as I shifted her in my arms. Ten fingers, ten toes, she was perfect, just as I claimed she would be so many years ago.

The tender skin, though hardened to an extent by the venom, bended under my lips as I kissed her. I looked away for a second to glance upward, hoping Robert could see this moment, that even though he was gone, he was still standing over my right shoulder, smiling at our baby, and maybe she was smiling back at him.

_"She's perfect,"_ _I told him._

_He nodded and reached over my shoulder, running his fingers across her cheek. "Christine."_

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**Yayyyyy! We birthed a baby! We've still got a chapter or two to go, and I'm going to see what I can do about filling a request from long long ago, so keep hanging in there! Thanks for everyone's support! See you next week!**

**Hufflepuffbrunette :)**


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